Jesus emphasized in His teaching that there would be people who were deceived into believing they were going to heaven as part of God’s chosen people.
In Capernaum, a centurion came to Him requesting healing for his paralyzed servant. In His response to the centurion, Jesus addressed this common deception. When Jesus told him He would come, the centurion said, “ ‘Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof. But only speak a word, and my servant will be healed.’ … When Jesus heard it, He marveled, and said to those who followed, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel! And I say to you that many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the sons of the kingdom will be cast out into outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’ ” (Matthew 8:8, 10–12).
Here Jesus predicted that there will be people who will be weeping and gnashing their teeth when He returns. Many pious ones would only then be aware of their true condition and see that they were lost.
One of the primary reasons that those who think that they are part of God’s chosen people will be “weeping and gnashing” their teeth is because of their un-Christlike speech.
We are admonished to “Strive to overcome harshness of expression, and cultivate soft tones.” The Signs of the Times, November 14, 1911. Jesus taught that out of the abundance of the heart come our words and actions. He said, “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36, 37).
We sin against the Holy Spirit when we are not in control of the way we speak. Our speech is an indicator of whether we are saved or not.
“We should accustom ourselves to speak in pleasant tones, to use pure, correct language, and words that are kind and courteous. Sweet, kindly words are as dew and gentle showers to the soul.” The Signs of the Times, February 22, 1905.
The Bible says, “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
In writing to a person who had this very problem Ellen White said, “You do not speak wisely and judiciously to your wife and children. You should cultivate kindness and gentleness.” Testimonies, vol. 2, 78.
“When about to speak passionately, close your mouth. Don’t utter a word. Pray before you speak, and heavenly angels will come to your assistance and drive back the evil angels, who would lead you to dishonor God, reproach His cause, and weaken your own soul.” Ibid., 82.
“No harsh, passionate word is ever spoken without grieving the Lord Jesus, and hurting the heart of speaker and of hearer. From the Christian home all angry or trifling speeches will be excluded; for in the home above nothing of this character finds place.” The Signs of the Times, February 17, 1904.
In the heavenly home above there are no “angry or trifling speeches.” Children and young people in our homes need help in learning how to speak and conduct themselves to be prepared to live in heaven.
In the same article it says, “Parents, be sure to spend some time each day in private prayer, asking the Lord for wisdom, lest self-importance take possession of you, and you give the talent of speech into the control of the enemy.”
“Live lives that will help them to prepare for translation into the courts above when the last trump shall sound, and Christ shall come to gather His faithful ones to Himself. Do not neglect your children. They are your first care. The home is to be their first school. And in this school you yourselves are to learn lessons that will prepare you better to work for their salvation and for the salvation of others. These lessons will be of the highest value to you in your religious experience.
“As you labor successfully for your children, you are working out your own salvation, and God is working in you, to will and to do of His good pleasure.
“Kindly but firmly correct every inclination to wrong that may appear in the lives of your children. When you are obliged to correct a child, do not raise the voice to a high key …” Ibid.
The more angry or upset a person gets, the pitch of the voice goes up, and the volume increases. When that happens, a child recognizes the emotion being communicated. A very young child who is not yet able to speak, recognizes the pitch of the voice immediately. The admonition to parents is to be sure to spend some time each day in private prayer. Pray to the Lord and say, Lord, I want to learn to speak the way the angels speak in heaven. Help me. I want to learn to speak in the right way.
Throughout their association with Jesus the disciples never heard Him speak a passionate word or a word spoken unadvisedly.
The intelligences of heaven have pure speech and we need to learn to speak as they do. When Jesus returns, the redeemed will be given new bodies but their characters will not be changed. Their habits will be those they have developed during this life and will be the same on that first day in heaven as it was their last day on earth. That being the case, if pure habits in actions and speech have not been learned, they will not fit in a pure atmosphere.
“The chief requisite of language is that it be pure and kind and true—the outward expression of an inward grace.” Education, 235.
Gossip originated in heaven with Lucifer among the angels and gossip is one of the main problems in the church today.
“Un-Christlike speech lies at the foundation of nine-tenths of all the difficulties that exist in the church. Satan’s agents are industriously trying to get professed Christians to speak unadvisedly. When they succeed, Satan exults, because God’s followers have hurt their influence.” The Voice in Speech and Song, 56.
Problems in our homes and churches would improve mightily with correct speech. Ellen White says to parents: “Scolding and passionate reproof will never work reforms. Fathers and mothers commit a grievous sin when they educate their children to give way to temper by giving way themselves, and by training them according to wrong methods. …
“Mothers, deal gently with your little ones. … They are God’s property; He loves them, and calls upon you to co-operate with Him in helping them to form perfect characters. The Lord requires perfection from His redeemed family. He calls for perfection in character-building.” The Signs of the Times, August 23, 1899.
“Every defect in character, every fault in the disposition, needs to be cut away, for if allowed to remain, these will mar the beauty of the character.” Ibid.
When we consider the condition of this world today, it is hard to imagine a place where the inhabitants are perfectly happy all the time. Heaven is such a place. If we could just get one glimpse of that place, we would never want anything in this world again.
A big part of getting ready to live in heaven is learning how to speak like the angels speak. It may be surprising to know that one of the principle reasons for dietary and health reform is to help us exercise patience in our speech. The wrong type of diet can result in passionate speech and behavior, a character trait that must be conquered through self-control.
“God looks into every secret thing of life. By some a constant battle is maintained for self-control. Daily they strive silently and prayerfully against harshness of speech and temper. These strivings may never be appreciated by human beings. They may get no praise from human lips for keeping back the hasty words which sought for utterance. The world will never see these conquests, and if it could, it would only despise the conquerors. But in heaven’s record they are registered as overcomers. There is One who witnesses every secret combat and every silent victory, and He says, ‘He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city’ (Proverbs 16:32).” Ibid.
Much prayer is needed to gain control over the tongue. James 3:8 says that no man can tame the tongue; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that the tongue can be tamed. Think how unhappiness, sorrow, and trouble could be avoided when control of speech is exercised as well as the blessing to others that can result if we learn to speak the way they speak in heaven. Every defect in the character can be overcome. Pray for opportunities to do that tender act or speak that tender word to somebody each day. Ask for a calm spirit before speaking when upset.
You may find yourself in a situation where you can’t quietly absent yourself and have to deal with it right then. Nehemiah found himself in a situation like that.
“I [Nehemiah] took the wine and gave it to the king. Now I had never been sad in his presence before. Therefore the king said to me, ‘Why is your face sad, since you are not sick? This is nothing but sorrow of heart’ ” (Nehemiah 2:1, 2).
Nehemiah found himself in a dangerous situation. Being cup bearer to the king, he was never to appear sad. The king was apprehensive for his own safety, for his life was dependent on his cup bearer who was responsible to see that he did not get poisoned. Often the cup bearer was to pour what was offered to the king into a glass and drink first to test for poison.
When Nehemiah was questioned by the king over his sadness, he didn’t know what to say. The Bible says, “So I [Nehemiah] prayed to the God of heaven” (verse 4). Here he was, standing right before the king. He could not absent himself for a private prayer. He needed help right away; so in his mind he said, Lord, help me.
We all get in situations where we have to speak, but don’t know what to say. Like Nehemiah, we can call on God and He will answer our prayer and give us clarity of thought and words. You can read how the Lord led Nehemiah in his situation in the later part of that chapter.
It is common for these situations to arise in the home, when we are with those around whom we should guard our speech most carefully.
We are admonished, “Allow in the home nothing that savors of cheapness or commonness. You are preparing your children for entrance into the City of God, and nothing that defiles can enter there.
“Be pleasant and cheerful. Remember that love is the power that binds your children to you. Keep your words and actions free from anger. Do nothing that will destroy the harmony of the home. Let the sharp words that you are tempted to speak die unspoken. Such words wound and bruise the hearts of the hearers.” The Signs of the Times, September 16, 1903.
“It rests with you to decide whether good or evil thoughts shall occupy the minds of your children. … To prepare them to inherit eternal life requires patient, untiring effort. Let not your perseverance fail. Study with your children. Remember that you yourselves are God’s little children, and that you must first learn of Him before you can teach your children aright.” Ibid.
It is imperative to teach our children and our young people that nothing can enter heaven that defiles. In Revelation 21:27, we read, “There shall by no means enter it anything that defiles, or causes an abomination or a lie, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.”
“Never treat your children harshly, for harshness arouses stubbornness and resistance. You will find that they are most easily and successfully governed by kindness and gentleness. Love breaks down all barriers, and gentleness subdues the most stubborn will. Treat your children as you would wish to be treated were you in their place. Let there be no scolding, no loud-voiced, angry commands. …
“Disobedience and rebellion must be punished; but remember that the punishment is to be given in the spirit of Christ. …
“All Heaven is interested in your home. God and Christ and the heavenly angels are intensely desirous that you shall so train your children that they shall be prepared to enter the family of the redeemed. Teach them to be loyal to Christ. Bring into the home the transforming power of the grace of Christ. … Teach your children to live Christlike lives.” Ibid., November 11, 1903.
Everything that we do has an influence. This is true for parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, any children you are around. The way that you speak, not just the words, but the tone, the volume, and the pitch will have an effect on the young people.
All these principles about correct speech are actually found in the book of Proverbs. Each table of the law also addresses speech. The second commandment in the first table of the law is about speech. The ninth commandment, in the last table of the law, directly deals with the honesty of our speech and whether we tell the truth.
“Parents should set their children an example of strict truthfulness. They should never utter one word that is not true.” The Review and Herald, April 13, 1897.
Most people think that many of the things that they tell their children are harmless, such as the lie about Santa Claus who reportedly brings gifts at Christmas. Many children are raised on fictitious stories and fairy tales like this. When the children later find out that these things are not true, it weakens their trust in those who have propagated the lies.
“We are to be in earnest for our efforts for gaining eternal life. The blessed Saviour has a crown waiting for us. It is to be decided by us whether or not we shall have that crown.” The Review and Herald, April 21, 1891. It is our daily choice whether we are to have that crown or not. We often subconsciously make that choice by our speech.
“Christ must be revealed in your daily life. There must be no angry words spoken in the home, no seeds of coarse, common talk sown in your children’s hearts, or they will have no confidence in you when you speak in meeting. … We may have a little heaven to go to heaven in, if Christ breathes upon us His Holy Spirit.” Ibid.
This means that when people come into your home, they sense it is like heaven because there is a heavenly spirit there. The home is pleasurable and enjoyable to be there. Your words are tender, thoughtful, true, and pure and never angry or passionate. Imagine how an atmosphere like that would affect people.
Beginning in Luke 13:24, Jesus says, “Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able. When once the Master of the house has risen up and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open for us,’ and He will answer and say to you, ‘I do not know you, where you are from,’ then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in Your presence, and You taught in our streets.’ But He will say, ‘I tell you I do not know you, where you are from. Depart from Me, all you workers of iniquity.’ There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, and yourselves thrust out” (verses 24–28).
Here Jesus was talking to people who expected that they would be saved, but we read in the Scriptures that some will not be ready. And that’s the same thing He talks about in Matthew 25 in the story of the ten virgins. All ten virgins believed they were going to go to the marriage supper, but not all of them got to go because some did not have sufficient oil.
“In the parable of the virgins, five were found wise, and five foolish. Can it be possible that half of us will be found without the oil of grace in our lamps? Shall we come to the marriage feast too late? We have slept too long; shall we sleep on, and be lost at last?” The Review and Herald, April 21, 1891.
There are many places in the Bible that talk about a sleeping church and the need to awake. “We have slept too long; shall we sleep on, and be lost at last? Are there those here who have been sinning and repenting, sinning and repenting, and will they continue to do so till Christ shall come?” Ibid. That is a question you need to ask yourself.
If you look at the context, this passage is referring to people who lose their temper and talk passionately, but then they are sorry, so they repent. Then, they do it again and then they have to repent again. “Are there those here who have been sinning and repenting, sinning and repenting, and will they continue to do so till Christ shall come?” Ibid.
Here is the problem with that. When Michael stands up in heaven, probation is closed. This event occurs before Christ returns to this earth. We need to have victory over our unruly tongues now. Remember, no man can control it. Only the Holy Spirit can give us the victory.
“No unpleasant words are spoken in heaven. There no unkind thoughts are cherished. There envy, evil surmising, hatred, and strife find no place. Perfect harmony pervades the heavenly courts.” The Upward Look, page 163.
Heaven is a good place. It is a place we all need to go. But notice what is written about the devil. “Well does Satan know what heaven is, and what the influence of the angels is. His work is to bring into every family the cruel elements of self-will, harshness, selfishness. Thus he seeks to destroy the happiness of the family. He knows that the spirit governing in the home will be brought into the church.” Ibid.
So, what shall we do to counteract his plan?
“Let the father and mother always be guarded in their words and actions. The husband is to treat his wife, the mother of his children, with due respect, and the wife is to love and reverence her husband. How can she do this if he treats her like a servant, to be dictated to, ordered about, scolded, found fault with before the children? He is forcing her to dislike him and even to hate him. …
“Fathers and mothers, bring sweetness and brightness and hopefulness into the lives of your children. Kindness and love will work wonders. Never punish a child in anger. …
“Be sure, before correcting your child, to talk with your heavenly Father. When your own heart is so softened by sympathy, talk with the erring one. If the matter can be adjusted without the use of the rod, so much the better.” Ibid.
Ellen White wrote, “Unless we control our words and temper, we are slaves to Satan.” The Signs of the Times, April 17, 1884.
“There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health” (Proverbs 12:18).
Remember, if your heart, thoughts, and emotions are right, the words you speak will also be right. But for that to happen, you must receive the Holy Spirit. While ever alive in this world, a battle is taking place in the human heart between the carnal, sinful nature, and the new spirit. Paul calls it the battle between the spirit and the flesh.
If you are looking at what is happening on the Internet or on television, you will notice that the speech of the people in this world has deteriorated to an all-time low. But praise God. At the same time that is happening, there are some people allowing the Holy Spirit to refine their speech. These are the ones who are preparing and longing to go to a different place where all is pure and holy.
And that place, friends, is heaven. Learn now the language of heaven so that you will not be among those “weeping and gnashing” their teeth when Christ returns to gather the faithful.
(Unless appearing in quoted references or otherwise identified, Bible texts are from the New King James Version.)
Pastor John J. Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by email at: historic@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.