discipline

Peter’s Counsel to Parents, Part IV

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These words [11 Peter 1:1–13] should mean a great deal to us; and we should study this chapter diligently, that we may learn to practice the virtues it presents before us. If we do these things, the apostle says, we “shall never fall.” It is of great consequence to us in our spiritual experience that we have the assurance that we are treading securely and walking understandingly in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I wish this afternoon to address particularly the parents and children. These should understand that they have solemn obligations resting upon them—the most solemn that ever rested upon mortals. Let parents take up their work and labor intelligently for the salvation of their families.

Children be Prepared for Eternity

Fathers and mothers, we are verging upon the eternal world, and that which we should now most earnestly seek to understand is what we should do to inherit eternal life. If you will follow on to know the Lord, you will know that His going forth is prepared as the morning. We must prepare for the great crisis that is just before us. Will you not sense your responsibilities in regard to the education and training of your children in spiritual matters?

Here are the children. Your daughters are inclined, if they see a dress different from that which they have, to desire a dress similar to that. Or perhaps they want something else that they see others have, which you do not feel would be in accordance with your faith to grant them. Will you allow them to tease this thing out of you, letting them mold you instead of molding them according to the principles of the gospel? Our children are very precious in the sight of God. Let us teach them the word of God and train them in His ways. It is your privilege to teach your children to live so that they will have the commendation of heaven.

Are we preparing for heaven? We say we are; and we ought to be making ready for the future immortal life. We should be so conducting ourselves that we shall make right impressions upon those who are brought in contact with us. Let us not encourage our children to follow the fashions of the world; and if we will be faithful in giving them a right training, they will not do this. But if you let your children rule you, they will surely get away from the pure principles of the word of God and will walk in the ways of the world. Let them see how much the Lord sacrificed in their behalf when He came to this world. There was everything to oppose His advance, yet He gave us a perfect example in every detail of life—just the example that we follow and teach our children to follow.

Proper Dress for Children

Dress your children in simple and neat clothes, but do not let them have anything that they may suppose they want. They may ask for a dress that is cut low in the neck because it is the fashion to wear them so. Who has supposed such a fashion? It is not a right fashion, and we should not allow ourselves to consider it right. We should dress our children in such a way that they will learn to fashion their lives in simple orderly lines. We are to be preparing for the grand review that is soon to take place, and our children must have a part in this work of preparation. We want the light, the pure light of heaven, to shine into our hearts.

Heaven’s Interest in Children

All heaven is interested in our children, and parents grieve the Spirit of God when they fail to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Parents, be kind to your children, but be firm. Let them see that you mean all that you tell them. The fashions of the world often take a ridiculous form, and you must take a firm position against them. Our manner of dress, as well as our deportment, is to be a ministry, an education.

Parents, you are responsible for the work of bringing up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. These children need instruction line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. You may feel annoyed sometimes because your children go contrary to what you have told them. But have you ever thought that many times you go contrary to what the Lord has commanded you to do that you might prepare yourselves for His work and know His will as revealed in His word? If you will follow on to know the Lord you can make a splendid representation of Christ before the world.

Gentleness in Discipline

Never manifest passion when your children do wrong. When the mother gives her child a jerk or a blow, do you think it enables him to see the beauty of the Christian character? No indeed; it only tends to raise evil feelings in the heart, and the child is not corrected at all. We need to consider, as we endeavor to do our duty intelligently, that our children are to be brought into right relation to God, that they may have an entrance through the gates into the City of God and have right to all the advantages that heaven can give.

Forming Children’s Characters

We have but little time now. Let us prepare earnestly for the solemn scenes of the future. The Lord would have us work under the direction of His word. It does not show any true love to let your children do as they please, and to think that in doing so they are doing just right. Husband and wife should be united in the work of seeking to form in their children correct habits of speech and conduct. If they will draw constantly in Christ’s lines, the will of Christ will be rule in their lives, and they will see of the salvation of God in their homes. Let them invite the Spirit of God to act His part in training the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. With this power to help in every time of need, they will obtain the victory.

Has not God given you every evidence of His love? Did He not allow Jesus to come to this world as our pattern? Men could not endure the perfection of Christ’s character, and they took and crucified Him. There is a crucifixion that must go on in our lives, a constant dying to self and sin. We must walk circumspectly, that our lives may preach the gospel of Christ to those with whom we associate. If we will speak and walk circumspectly, the light of Christ will be revealed in our lives.

I desired at the beginning of my talk to speak these words to you. I leave them with you to think about. Let us be faithful to the duties of the home life. Let your children understand that obedience must reign there. Teach them to distinguish between that which is sensible and that which is foolish in the matter of dress, and furnish them with clothes that are neat and simple. As a people who are preparing for the soon return of Christ we should give to the world an example of modest dress in contrast with the prevailing fashion of the day. Talk these things over, and plan wisely what you will do, then carry out your plans in your families. Determine to be guided by higher principles than the notions and desires of your children.

Seek Confession of Heart

Parents need to come up on a higher platform. They have a sacred work to do in bringing their children into harmony with Christ. Parents, do not neglect this work. You need to move constantly in the counsel and fear of the Lord God of Israel. Talk with your children in regard to the lessons of the word; pray with them. Seek for confession of heart from them. Show them which is the wrong and which is the right way, and their need of yielding their wills to the will of God if they would be overcomers. I see many parents taking a course with their children that will shut them out of the kingdom of God. O that these might now repent, and seek to redeem the time, that God might help them to act their part.

I did not expect to speak more than a few words to you this afternoon. I want you to have the light and blessing that the Lord desires to give you. Reach out for these blessings, seek for a fitness for eternal life, that others may see that you are coming into harmony with heaven. When the soul takes its position on the side of right, all heaven is filled with rejoicing and praise and thanksgiving. Shall we not take hold with Christ to do our best? Pray with your children. Impress their minds with the thought that Christ was given to our world that we might love His beauty of character and seek to follow Him in every particular. If you will follow on to know the Lord, the blessing of God will rest upon you. We need to glorify God more than we do, to praise Him with uplifted soul. If we would study more faithfully the virtues of His character, we would desire to be more like Him. If in the minor points we would carry out the directions of the Lord, He will give us strength to follow Him in the large matters. We need to see the necessity of bringing the principles of the truth into every purpose and action of the life.

There is a large work to be carried on in this locality. Consider how God has wrought to bring these buildings into our possession. We have made every possible effort to establish the work in this place; and there are but few who know of the real difficulties we have had to meet. Now we are in possession and, for this I thank the Lord with heart and soul and voice.

Contrary to the World

There are many here who will need to take their position directly contrary to the world’s customs and fashions. They may not want to do this, but this must make no difference. We are to have a large experience here in a little while, and everything should be brought into line with right principles. Here are men and women of capability. We want you to realize your capabilities, and act your part in carrying out the purposes of God for this place. Here are men who are preparing to enter on high positions of truth; but they are not ready for these positions. They need to be reconverted, and to let the blessing of God come into the life to transform the character. If those who come here to obtain an education will seek to help in every possible way, God will multiply blessings to them, and giving them His knowledge and His grace will make them overcomers through the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.

(Manuscript 45, 1911. Sermon at Loma Linda, California, November 6, 1911.)

To be continued . . .

“Simplicity . . . no single word could describe Ellen G. White as accurately as this one. Born into a family where the deeper values of life took priority over social standing, surrounded by the grueling poverty of the early 1800s and severely handicapped, she found herself elevated from mediocrity to a position of guiding leadership in a great church, her actions aided and directed by a seemingly endless number of inspired revelations.” Rene Noorbergen, Ellen G. White Prophet of Destiny, TEACH Services, Inc., Brushton, New York, 2001, vii.

Bible Study Guides – God’s Description

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July 17, 2011 – July 23, 2011

Key Text

“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord.” Genesis 18:19.

Study Help: Patriarchs and Prophets, 125, 140–144.

Introductory

“One well-ordered, well-disciplined family is a greater power in demonstrating the efficiency of Christianity than all the sermons in the world.” “Ellen G. White Comments,” The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 6, 1118.

1 THE EXAMPLE OF ABRAHAM

  • How did Abraham order his household? Genesis 18:19; 26:5. What promise was given to him and to us if we follow the same guidelines? Genesis 28:14; Galatians 3:6–9.

Note: “Of Abraham it is written that ‘he was called the friend of God’ [James 2:23]. … It is God that speaks. He who understands the thoughts afar off, and places the right estimate upon men, says, ‘I know him.’ ” Patriarchs and Prophets, 140, 141.

  • What were Abraham’s and his wife’s attitudes? Hebrews 11:8–11.

Note: “Abraham’s unquestioning obedience is one of the most striking evidences of faith to be found in all the Bible. … Relying upon the divine promise, without the least outward assurance of its fulfillment, he abandoned home and kindred and native land, and went forth, he knew not whither, to follow where God should lead.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 126.

  • How did Abraham lead so many individuals in the right way? Psalm 145:18.

Note: “Abraham, ‘the friend of God,’ set us a worthy example. His was a life of prayer.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 128.

2 WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE WELL-ORDERED?

  • Describe heaven’s first law. I Corinthians 14:40.

Note: “Order is heaven’s first law, and the Lord desires His people to give in their homes a representation of the order and harmony that pervade the heavenly courts. Truth never places her delicate feet in a path of uncleanness or impurity.” Counsels on Health, 101.

  • How do we teach this? Romans 2:21.

Note: “Begin early to teach the little ones. … This work of teaching neatness and order will take a little time each day, but it will pay in the future of your children, and in the end it will save you much time and care.” Child Guidance, 111.

  • If we have not been taught these habits, how can we learn them? James 1:5; Psalm 25:9, 12.

Note: “Help must be given … to those who seem to have no sense of the meaning and importance of cleanliness. They are to be taught that those who are to represent the high and holy God must keep their souls pure and clean, and that this purity must extend to their dress and to everything in their home, so that the ministering angels will have evidence that the truth has wrought a change in the life, purifying the soul and refining the tastes. Those who, after receiving the truth, make no change in word or deportment, in dress or surroundings, are living to themselves, not to Christ.” The Adventist Home, 22.

  • What else is included in the concept of godly order? Psalm 108:2; I Thessalonians 5:5–8.

Note: “How prevalent is the habit of turning day into night, and night into day. Many youth sleep soundly in the morning, when they should be up with the early singing birds and be stirring when all nature is awake. …

“If the youth would form habits of regularity and order, they would improve in health, in spirits, in memory, and in disposition.” Child Guidance, 111, 112.

3 NEATNESS

  • What did Jesus teach us about the small details of life? Luke 16:10; 24:1–3, 12; John 20:7.

Note: “They [the disciples] saw the shroud and the napkin, but they did not find their Lord. Yet even here was testimony that He had risen. The graveclothes were not thrown heedlessly aside, but carefully folded, each in a place by itself. … It was Christ Himself who had placed those graveclothes with such care. … In His sight who guides alike the star and the atom, there is nothing unimportant. Order and perfection are seen in all His work.” The Desire of Ages, 789.

  • Where is this to be implemented? Numbers 24:5–7.

Note: “The home must be kept pure and clean. Unclean, neglected corners in the house will tend to make impure, neglected corners in the soul. …

“If parents desire their children to be pure, they must surround them with pure associations such as God can approve.” Child Guidance, 114.

“Remember that in heaven there is no disorder, and that your home should be a heaven here below. Remember that in doing faithfully from day to day the little things to be done in the home, you are a laborer together with God, perfecting a Christian character.” Ibid., 110.

“The house of God is often desecrated, and the Sabbath violated by Sabbath-believers’ children. In some cases they are even allowed to run about the house, play, talk, and manifest their evil tempers in the very meetings where the saints should worship God in the beauty of holiness. And the place that should be holy, and where a holy stillness should reign, and where there should be perfect order, neatness, and humility, is made to be a perfect Babylon, ‘confusion.’ This is enough to bring God’s displeasure and shut His presence from our assemblies.” Ibid., 540.

“While we are to guard against needless adornment and display, we are in no case to be careless and indifferent in regard to outward appearance. All about our persons and our homes is to be neat and attractive. The youth are to be taught the importance of presenting an appearance above criticism, an appearance that honors God and the truth.” Counsels on Health, 102.

4 GOOD DISCIPLINE

  • What does discipline mean and what is its purpose? Hebrews 12:7–13.

Note: “If you want the blessing of God, parents, do as did Abraham. Repress the evil, and encourage the good. Some commanding may be necessary in the place of consulting the inclination and pleasure of the children.

“To allow a child to follow his natural impulses is to allow him to deteriorate and to become proficient in evil. Wise parents will not say to their children, ‘Follow your own choice; go where you will, and do what you will’; but, ‘Listen to the instruction of the Lord.’ Wise rules and regulations must be made and enforced, that the beauty of the home life may not be spoiled.” Child Guidance, 234.

  • What is the difference between punishment and training? Deuteronomy 21:18–21; Proverbs 22:6.

Note: “Children are the heritage of the Lord, and unless parents give them such a training as will enable them to keep the way of the Lord, they neglect solemn duty.” Child Guidance, 229.

“Parents, you should commence your first lesson of discipline when your children are babes in your arms. Teach them to yield their will to yours. This can be done by bearing an even hand and manifesting firmness. Parents should have perfect control over their own spirits and, with mildness and yet firmness, bend the will of the child until it shall expect nothing else but to yield to their wishes.” Ibid., 230.

  • What is the result if we are unbalanced in our training? Proverbs 13:24.

Note: “The parent or teacher who … trains the child to self-control will be the most useful and permanently successful. …

“To direct the child’s development without hindering it by undue control should be the study of both parent and teacher. Too much management is as bad as too little. The effort to ‘break the will’ of a child is a terrible mistake. Minds are constituted differently; while force may secure outward submission, the result with many children is a more determined rebellion of the heart.” Child Guidance, 209, 210.

5 THE WAY TO GO

  • How do we know what to do? Jeremiah 33:3; Isaiah 30:21; Proverbs 3:5–7.
  • Why can we be sure we are not alone in following God’s counsels to train up our children both in the family and in the church? Isaiah 41:10; 40:28–31; Philippians 2:13.

Note: “Your compassionate Redeemer is watching you with love and sympathy, ready to hear your prayers and to render you the assistance which you need. …

“Parents may understand that as they follow God’s directions in the training of their children, they will receive help from on high. They receive much benefit; for as they teach, they learn. …

“Parents, are you working with unflagging energy in behalf of your children? The God of heaven marks your solicitude, your earnest work, your constant watchfulness. He hears your prayers. With patience and tenderness, train your children for the Lord. All heaven is interested in your work. … God will unite with you, crowning your efforts with success.” The Adventist Home, 204, 205.

“Even if the character, habits, and practices of parents have been cast in an inferior mold, if the lessons given them in childhood and youth have led to an unhappy development of character, they need not despair. The converting power of God can transform inherited and cultivated tendencies; for the religion of Jesus is uplifting. ‘Born again’, means a transformation, a new birth in Christ Jesus. …

“He knows that you are doing the best you can, and He will increase your power. He will Himself do the part of the work that the mother or father cannot do.” Ibid., 206, 207.

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1 What can you learn from Abraham regarding family training?

2 What is heaven’s first law and what does it include?

3 Explain the relationship between the little details of daily life and your spiritual condition.

4 What is true discipline?

5 How can you accomplish God’s design in your family?

Copyright © 2002 Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia. Reprinted by permission.