The Nurturing Family

January 5 – 11, 2025

Key Text

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table.” Psalm 128:3

Study Help: Testimonies, Vol. 3, 230–232

Introduction

“God would have our families symbols of the family in heaven.” The Adventist Home, 17

Sunday

1 OUR FIRST HUMAN RELATIONSHIP

1.a.      How does God use the unique relationship of parents to child to illustrate the tenderness of His great love for us? Psalm 103:13; Isaiah 66:13

1.b.     Which commandment does this call to mind? Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:2-3

1.c.      Why should faithfulness to this commandment spring forth in spontaneous gratitude from the truly converted soul? Proverbs 4:1–4

Note: “Children should feel that they are indebted to their parents, who have watched over them in their infancy, and nursed them in sickness. They should realize that their parents have suffered much anxiety on their account. Especially have conscientious, godly parents felt the deepest interest that their children should take a right course. As they have seen faults in their children, how heavy have been their hearts. If the children who caused those hearts to ache could see the effect of their course, they would certainly relent. If they could see their mother’s tears, and hear her prayers to God in their behalf, if they could listen to her suppressed and broken sighs, their hearts would feel, and they would speedily confess their wrongs and ask to be forgiven.” Spiritual Gifts, Vol 4b, 138

Monday

2 A SAD DETERIORATION

2.a.      What widespread characteristic of people is especially plaguing the families in these last days? Proverbs 30:11–14; 2Timothy 3:1-2

Note: “The sin which exists in this generation among children is that they are ‘disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God.’ And this state of things exists to such an extent that it is made a subject of prophecy as one of the signs that we are living in the last days of time.” Letters to Young Lovers, 53

“Rebellion and apostasy are in the very air we breathe. We shall be affected by it unless we by faith hang our helpless souls upon Christ.” The Seventhday Adventist Bible Commentary, Vol. 1, 1114

2.b.     What solemn warnings should we keep in mind, particularly as we see the conditions existing in today’s society? Proverbs 1:8; 19:26; 20:20

2.c.      What attitude can we glean from Isaac’s marriage? Genesis 24:1–4, 66, 67

Note: “In ancient times, marriage engagements were generally made by the parents, and this was the custom among those who worshiped God. None were required to marry those whom they could not love; but in the bestowal of their affections the youth were guided by the judgment of their experienced, God-fearing parents. It was regarded as a dishonor to parents, and even a crime, to pursue a course contrary to this.

“Isaac, trusting to his father’s wisdom and affection, was satisfied to commit the matter to him, believing also that God Himself would direct in the choice made.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 171

“What a contrast between the course of Isaac and that pursued by the youth of our time, even among professed Christians! Young people too often feel that the bestowal of their affections is a matter in which self alone should be consulted—a matter that neither God nor their parents should in any wise control.” Ibid., 175

Tuesday

3 ELDERLY PARENTS

3.a.      Why does God’s voice in the fifth commandment continue to echo through the ages with deep resonance when our parents become aged? Proverbs 23:22

Note: “There is no time when children should withhold respect and love from their father and mother. While the parents live, it should be the children’s joy to honor and respect them. They should bring all the cheerfulness and sunshine into the life of the aged parents, that they possibly can. They should smooth their pathway to the grave. There is no better recommendation in this world than that a child has honored his parents, no better record in the books of heaven than that he has loved and honored father and mother.

“Let children carefully remember that at the best the aged parents have but little joy and comfort. What can bring greater sorrow to their hearts than manifest neglect on the part of their children? What sin can be worse in children than to bring grief to an aged, helpless father or mother? Those who grieve their aged parents are written in the books of heaven as commandment breakers, as those who do not reverence the God of heaven, and unless they repent and forsake their evil ways, they will not be found worthy of a place in the saints’ inheritance.

“Is it possible that children can become so dead to the claims of father and mother that they will not willingly remove all causes of sorrow in their power, watching over them with unwearying care and devotion? Can it be possible that they will not regard it a pleasure to make the last days of their parents their best days? How can a son or daughter be willing to leave father or mother on the hands of strangers for them to care for! Even were the mother an unbeliever and disagreeable, it would not release the child from the obligation that God has placed upon him to care for his parent. Would that there were but few who would utterly ignore the duty that is due from a child to his mother. Alas! that there are so many who never bestow a thought upon their parents, except it be that they may gain some advantage from them. … But how bitter will be the close of the life of such children! They can have no happy reflection in their old age; for they will reap as they have sown.” The Review and Herald, November 15, 1892

3.b.     How did Jesus disclose the Pharisees’ disregard of the fifth commandment? Mark 7:9–13. How did His own behavior stand in clear contrast to their gross hypocrisy? John 19:25–27

Wednesday

4 CHRIST, THE GREAT CENTER

4.a.      As revealed from the time of ancient Israel, why is morning and evening worship essential? 2Chronicles 13:10–12 How should family worship be conducted in our days? 

Note: “It should be the special object of the heads of the family to make the hour of worship intensely interesting. By a little thought and careful preparation for this season, when we come into the presence of God, family worship can be made pleasant and will be fraught with results that eternity alone will reveal. Let the father select a portion of Scripture that is interesting and easily understood; a few verses will be sufficient to furnish a lesson which may be studied and practiced through the day. Questions may be asked, a few earnest, interesting remarks made, or incident, short and to the point, may be brought in by way of illustration. At least a few verses of spirited song may be sung, and the prayer offered should be short and pointed. The one who leads in prayer should not pray about everything, but should express his needs in simple words and praise God with thanksgiving.” The Signs of the Times, August 7, 1884

4.b.     What is the keynote of life to be learned whether the family be large or small? Philippians 2:1–4

Note: “God would have our families symbols of the family in heaven. Let parents and children bear this in mind every day, relating themselves to one another as members of the family of God. Then their lives will be of such a character as to give to the world an object lesson of what families who love God and keep His commandments may be. Christ will be glorified; His peace and grace and love will pervade the family circle like a precious perfume.” The Review and Herald, November 17, 1896

4.c.      How are children to reflect the childhood of Jesus? Luke 2:52

Note: “Very early the lesson of helpfulness should be taught the child. As soon as strength and reasoning power are sufficiently developed, he should be given duties to perform in the home.” The Ministry of Healing, 401

Thursday

5 A TRAINING GROUND FOR SERVICE

5.a.      What is God’s plan for our families? Psalm 128:1–6

Note: “All heaven is interested in your home. … Set your own heart in order. An unreserved surrender to God will sweep away the barriers that have so long defied the approaches of heavenly grace.” The Signs of the Times, November 11, 1903

5.b.     How is victory assured even to those who themselves may not have grown up under the best of circumstances? Philippians 3:13, 14

Note: “Notwithstanding children may not have had the right instruction, and their characters not have been properly molded, God proposes to connect them with Himself as He did Nadab and Abihu, if they will heed His commands. If they will with faith and courage bring their will in submission to the will of God, He will teach them, and their lives may be like the pure white lily, full of fragrance on the stagnant waters. They must resolve in the strength of Jesus to control inclination and passion, and every day win victories over Satan’s temptations.” The Signs of the Times, July 8, 1880

5.c.      What are the best character traits we can bequeath to help our children obtain a mature Christian character? Micah 6:8; Colossians 1:10; Colossians 2:6

Note: “The more fully the spirit of true ministry pervades the home, the more fully it will be developed in the lives of the children. They will learn to find joy in service and sacrifice for the good of others.” The Ministry of Healing, 401

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1          What are some good ways by which we can brighten the life of our parents?

2          What was Christ’s example with regard to His parents?

3          How can we encourage more Christ-centered homes?

4          Why has God ordained the family unit to nurture human beings?

Copyright 2006, Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Health – Sabbath Activities

The object of the Sabbath was that all mankind might be benefited. Man was not made to fit the Sabbath; for the Sabbath was made after the creation of man, to meet his necessities. … He [God] set apart that special day for man to rest from his labor, that, as he should look upon the earth beneath and the heavens above, he might reflect that God made all these in six days and rested upon the seventh; and that, as he should behold the tangible proofs of God’s infinite wisdom, his heart might be filled with love and reverence for his Maker.” Testimonies, Vol. 2, 582

Have you wondered what you can do with your children on Sabbath afternoon, activities that follow Bible and Spirit of Prophecy counsel?

When I was a child, my mother would play Sabbath Bible games with me, we read together the Little Friend I brought home from Sabbath School, and we played piano duets. At the close of Sabbath, we would kneel together and thank the Lord for His Sabbath day and the blessings He had given us during its hours.

Child Guidance suggests reading to and with your children or creating a home reading circle where the family can come together and every member shares in the reading of a spiritual story or Bible study.

Acts of service such as visiting the sick, shut-ins, and those in care facilities, bringing food, flowers, smiles, and songs give children and youth the opportunity to do what Jesus did in His personal ministry.

“The pleasure of doing good to others imparts a glow to the feelings which flashes through the nerves, quickens the circulation of the blood, and induces mental and physical health.” My Life Today, 246

Next to the Bible, nature is to be our great lesson book. It is full of the knowledge of God, teeming with divine instruction. It has a voice that sings of the majesty and love of God. On every leaf and stone, in the earth, sea, and sky God’s name is written. The glory of God can be seen in every flower and tree, and every living creature. And though marred by sin, the earth and all that lives on it and dwells in it, still rings with a beauty that man can hardly fathom.

Children should be encouraged to search out in nature the objects that illustrate Bible teachings. Nature walks are a good way to commune with God, and spend time in the sunshine and fresh air.

The following table lists suggestions that can be used as clues for a Sabbath scavenger hunt during a nature walk or as a Bible game around the table at home.

“Oh, there is health and peace in doing the will of our Heavenly Father. …

“Pure and undefiled religion is not a sentiment, but the doing of works of mercy and love. This religion is necessary to health and happiness. It enters the polluted soul temple, and with a scourge drives out the sinful intruders. Taking the throne, it consecrates all by its presence, illuminating the heart. … It opens the windows of the soul heavenward, letting in the sunshine of God’s love. With it comes serenity and composure. Physical, mental, and moral strength increase, because the atmosphere of heaven, as a living, active agency, fills the soul.” My Life Today, 246

“Our heavenly Father desires through the observance of the Sabbath to preserve among men a knowledge of Himself. He desires that the Sabbath shall direct our minds to Him as the true and living God, and that through knowing Him we may have life and peace.” Testimonies, Vol. 6, 349

“And it shall come to pass that from one new moon to another, and from one Sabbath to another, all flesh shall come to worship before Me.” Isaiah 66:23

 

1 These clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12
2 What does the Bible say about this flower? Luke 12:27
3 This fades, but the word of God does not. Isaiah 40:8
4 Even the smallest seed can grow and become what? Matthew 13:32
5 These shall break forth with song. Isaiah 55:12
6 This passes and is gone. Psalm 103:16
7 These do not sow or reap, but the Father still feeds them. Matthew 6:26
8 Evildoers shall be cut down like what? Psalm 37:2
9 Jesus gave His life for His what? John 10:11
10 God has what upon a thousand hills? Psalm 50:10
11 False prophets are described as wearing sheep’s clothing, but what are they really? Matthew 7:15
12 If we look up, what do we see? Job 35:5
13 This rises and sets every day. Ecclesiastes 1:5
14 This falls on both righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45
15 Jesus knows the number of stars that we see in the night sky (Psalm 147:4); and He knows what else? Matthew 10:30
16 Jonah was swallowed by and was three days in the belly of a great what? Jonah 1:17
17 Jesus performed a great miracle with five loaves and what else? Matthew 14:17
18 Jesus says that if we will follow Him, He will make us what? Matthew 4:19
19 Those who hope in the Lord will soar like what? Isaiah 40:31
20 If God cares so much for all His creations and creatures in nature, how much does the Bible say He cares for us? John 3:16

 

Editorial – Teaching Courtesy to Children

Jesus was always an example of true courtesy. He “was never cold and unapproachable. The afflicted often broke in upon His retreat when He needed refreshment and rest, but He had a kind look and an encouraging word for all. He was a pattern of true courtesy.” Testimonies, Vol. 4, 488

Heaven is a place where all the inhabitants are courteous to each other, and now is the time to become courteous as Jesus always was. Ellen White wrote about 150 years ago of the necessity of teaching courtesy to our children.

“No pleasanter sight is there than a family of young folks who are quick to perform little acts of attention toward their elders. … But if mamma never returns a smiling ‘Thank you, dear,’ if papa’s ‘Just what I was wanting, Susie,’ does not indicate that the little attention is appreciated, the children soon drop the habit. … By example, a thousand times more quickly than by precept, can children be taught to speak kindly to each other, to acknowledge favors, to be gentle and unselfish, to be thoughtful and considerate of the comfort of the family.

“Scolding is never allowable; reproof and criticism from parents must have their time and place, but should never intrude so far upon the social life of the family as to render the home uncomfortable. A serious word in private will generally cure a fault more easily than many public criticisms. In some families, a spirit of contradiction and discussion mars the harmony… . It interferes seriously with social freedom when unimportant inaccuracies are watched for, and exposed for the mere sake of exposure. Brothers and sisters also sometimes acquire an almost unconscious habit of teasing each other, half in earnest, half in fun. This is particularly uncomfortable for everybody else, whatever doubtful pleasure the parties themselves may experience.

“In the home where true courtesy prevails, it seems to meet you on the very threshold. You feel the kindly welcome on entering. No rude eyes scan your dress. No angry voices are heard upstairs. No sullen children are sent from the room. No peremptory orders are given to cover the delinquencies of housekeepers or servants. A delightful atmosphere pervades the house—unmistakable, yet indescribable.” The Health Reformer, February 1, 1874

Bible Study – True Education

May 15 – 21, 2022

Key Text

“[A]nd that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” 2 Timothy 3:15

Study Help: Education, 13–27

Introduction

“To many, education means a knowledge of books; but ‘the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom’ (Psalm 111:10). The true object of education is to restore the image of God in the soul.” Testimonies, Vol. 5, 322

Sunday

1 IN EDEN

1.a. What is an initial step to having knowledge and, more importantly, understanding and wisdom? Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 9:10

 Note: “True education is the preparation of the mental, moral, and physical powers for the performance of every duty, pleasant or otherwise, the training of every habit and practice, of heart, mind, and soul for divine service.” Selected Messages, Book 3, 228

“The true object of education is to restore the image of God in the soul.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 595

1.b. What type of environment were Adam and Eve given for their education? Genesis 2:8, 15

 Note: “The system of education instituted at the beginning of the world was to be a model for man throughout all aftertime.” Child Guidance, 294

“When in counsel with the Father before the world was, it was designed that the Lord God should plant a garden for Adam and Eve in Eden and give them the task of caring for the fruit trees and cultivating and training the vegetation. Useful labor was to be their safeguard, and it was to be perpetuated through all generations to the close of earth’s history. To have a whole-sided education, it is necessary to combine science with practical labor.” The Signs of the Times, August 13, 1896

Monday

2 THE SCHOOLS OF THE PROPHETS

2.a. To restore a more godly plan of education, what was provided for the sons of the prophets in Israel? 1 Samuel 7:15, 16; 2 Kings 2:2–5, 15

 Note: “Three of these schools [of the prophets], one at Gilgal, one at Bethel, and one at Jericho, are mentioned in the record. Just before Elijah was taken to heaven, he and Elisha visited these centers of training.” Prophets and Kings, 224, 225

“In these ‘schools of the prophets’ young men were educated by those who were not only well versed in divine truth, but who themselves maintained close communion with God and had received the special endowment of His Spirit.” The Signs of the Times, July 20, 1882

2.b. What was the focus of education in the schools of the prophets? Psalm 86:11; John 17:3

 Note: “The chief subjects of study in these schools [of the prophets] were the law of God, with the instructions given to Moses, sacred history, sacred music, and poetry. In those schools of the olden time it was the grand object of all study to learn the will of God, and man’s duty toward Him. In the records of sacred history were traced the footsteps of Jehovah.” Christian Education, 62

“Do you think [those in the school of the prophets] took the study books that were in the common schools? No, No! What were they taught? To have a knowledge of Jesus Christ.” Spalding and Magan Collection, 357

“In both the school and the home much of the teaching was oral; but the youth also learned to read the Hebrew writings, and the parchment rolls of the Old Testament Scriptures were open to their study. … The great truths set forth by the types in the service of the sanctuary were brought to view, and faith grasped the central object of all that system—the Lamb of God, that was to take away the sin of the world. A spirit of devotion was cherished. Not only were the students taught the duty of prayer, but they were taught how to pray, how to approach their Creator, how to exercise faith in Him, and how to understand and obey the teachings of His Spirit. Sanctified intellect brought forth from the treasure house of God things new and old, and the Spirit of God was manifested in prophecy and sacred song.” Education, 47

Tuesday

3 USEFUL TRADES

3.a. Where did Jesus obtain His education? Matthew 13:54–56

 Note: “The child Jesus did not receive instruction in the synagogue schools. His mother was His first human teacher. From her lips and from the scrolls of the prophets, He learned of heavenly things. The very words which He Himself had spoken to Moses for Israel He was now taught at His mother’s knee. As He advanced from childhood to youth, He did not seek the schools of the rabbis. He needed not the education to be obtained from such sources; for God was His instructor. …” The Desire of Ages, 70

“Throughout His life on earth, Jesus was an earnest and constant worker. He expected much; therefore He attempted much. After He had entered on His ministry, He said, ‘I must work the works of Him that sent Me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work’ (John 9:4). Jesus did not shirk care and responsibility, as do many who profess to be His followers. It is because they seek to evade this discipline that so many are weak and inefficient.” Ibid., 73

3.b. Where do we find appropriate material for true education apart from the Bible? 2 Thessalonians 3:8–10

Note: “Manual training is deserving of far more attention than it has received. Schools should be established that, in addition to the highest mental and moral culture, shall provide the best possible facilities for physical development and industrial training. Instruction should be given in agriculture, manufactures—covering as many as possible of the most useful trades—also in household economy, healthful cookery, sewing, hygienic dressmaking, the treatment of the sick, and kindred lines. Gardens, workshops, and treatment rooms should be provided, and the work in every line should be under the direction of skilled instructors.

“The work should have a definite aim and should be thorough. While every person needs some knowledge of different handicrafts, it is indispensable that he become proficient in at least one. Every youth, on leaving school, should have acquired a knowledge of some trade or occupation by which, if need be, he may earn a livelihood.” Education, 218

Wednesday

4 THE BIBLE IN EDUCATION

4.a. What is the diligent study of the Bible able to do for us? Psalm 119:98–101; Proverbs 2:1–5

Note: “Above all other books, the word of God must be our study, the great textbook, the basis of all education; and our children are to be educated in the truths found therein, irrespective of previous habits and customs.” Testimonies, Vol. 6, 131, 132

“The Bible teaches the whole will of God concerning the sons and daughters of Adam. The Bible is the rule of life, teaching us of the character we must form for the future, immortal life.” Fundamentals of Christian Education, 390, 391

4.b. As we give ourselves to study and be educated, what should be our priorities? Isaiah 55:2, 3; Psalm 25:4, 5

Note: “Today young men and women spend years and years in acquiring an education which is but wood and stubble, to be consumed in the last great conflagration. Many spend years of their life in the study of books, obtaining an education that will die with them. Upon such an education God places no value. This supposed wisdom gained from the study of different authors, has excluded and lessened the brightness and value of the word of God. Many students have left school unable to receive the word of God with the reverence and respect that they gave it before they entered, their faith eclipsed in the effort to excel in the various studies. The Bible has not been made a standard matter in their education, but books mixed with infidelity and propagating unsound theories have been placed before them.” Fundamentals of Christian Education, 446, 447

“Men need not the dim light of tradition and custom to make the Scriptures comprehensible. It is just as sensible to suppose that the sun, shining in the heavens at noonday, needs the glimmerings of the torchlight of earth to increase its glory.” Ibid., 391

“The Bible should not be brought into our schools to be sandwiched in between infidelity. The Bible must be made the groundwork and subject matter of education. It is true that we know much more of the word of the living God than we knew in the past, but there is still much more to be learned. It should be used as the word of the living God, and esteemed as first, and last, and best in everything. Then will be seen true spiritual growth.” Ibid., 474

Thursday

5 EDUCATION FOR ETERNITY

5.a. What does Inspiration say about the Scriptures? 2 Timothy 3:15, 16

Note: “Through all eternity the Scriptures will be shining forth brighter and brighter, like precious gems; but we do not half understand these truths. The precious Bible truth that we have accepted must do a great work for us, and the more we understand these things, the better will we understand how to make an impression upon other minds.” The Review and Herald, April 10, 1888

5.b. What will be the subjects of study in the kingdom of God, and who will teach the redeemed? Matthew 23:10; 1 Corinthians 2:9

Note: “There [in the New Jerusalem], immortal minds will contemplate with never-failing delight the wonders of creative power, the mysteries of redeeming love. There will be no cruel, deceiving foe to tempt to forgetfulness of God. Every faculty will be developed, every capacity increased. The acquirement of knowledge will not weary the mind or exhaust the energies. There the grandest enterprises may be carried forward, the loftiest aspirations reached, the highest ambitions realized; and still there will arise new heights to surmount, new wonders to admire, new truths to comprehend, fresh objects to call forth the powers of mind and soul and body.” The Great Controversy, 677

“The theme of redemption is one that the angels desire to look into; it will be the science and the song of the ransomed throughout the ceaseless ages of eternity. Is it not worthy of careful thought and study now? Should we not praise God with heart and soul and voice ‘for His wonderful works to the children of men’? (Psalm 107:8).” Testimonies, Vol. 5, 318

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    What vital aspect of Christian education is often overlooked today?

2    Why were the schools of the prophets successful in their mission?

3    How can we come closer to the way Jesus was educated?

4    What role does education have in eternity?

Copyright 2000, Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Bible Study Guides – Guidance for Home Educators

August 16 – 22, 2020

Key Text

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 4).

Study Help: Child Guidance, 17–25, 119–136.

Introduction

“What the parents are, that, to a great extent, the children will be. The physical conditions of the parents, their dispositions and appetites, their mental and moral tendencies, are, to a greater or less degree, reproduced in their children.” The Ministry of Healing, 371.

Sunday

TEACHING THEM DILIGENTLY

  • What responsibility rests on parents as the first educators of children? Deuteronomy 6:6–9.

Note: “As a preparation for teaching His precepts, God commands that they be hidden in the hearts of the parents. ‘These words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart,’ He says; ‘and thou shalt teach them diligently’ (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7). In order to interest our children in the Bible, we ourselves must be interested in it. To awaken in them a love for its study, we must love it.” Education, 187.

  • Who was instrumental in establishing the faith of Timothy? 2 Timothy 1:5. What vital role do mothers play in every facet of education?

Note: “Especially does responsibility rest upon the mother. She, by whose lifeblood the child is nourished and its physical frame built up, imparts to it also mental and spiritual influences that tend to the shaping of mind and character.” The Ministry of Healing, 372.

Monday

LOCATION OF THE HOME

  • With the examples of Abraham and Lot before us, what considerations should take precedence in the choice of a home? Genesis 13:11, 12.

Note: “In choosing a home, God would have us consider, first of all, the moral and religious influences that will surround us and our families. …

“Instead of dwelling where only the works of men can be seen, where the sights and sounds frequently suggest thoughts of evil, where turmoil and confusion bring weariness and disquietude, go where you can look upon the works of God. Find rest of spirit in the beauty and quietude and peace of nature. …

“The home of our first parents was to be a pattern for other homes as their children should go forth to occupy the earth. … The blue heavens were its dome; the earth, with its delicate flowers and carpet of living green, was its floor; and the leafy branches of the goodly trees were its canopy. Its walls were hung with the most magnificent adornings—the handiwork of the great Master Artist. In the surroundings of the holy pair was a lesson for all time—that true happiness is found, not in the indulgence of pride and luxury, but in communion with God through His created works.” The Adventist Home, 131, 132.

  • What choice of location did John the Baptist make in view of his mission? Matthew 3:1.

Note: “John the Baptist, the forerunner of Christ, received his early training from his parents. The greater portion of his life was spent in the wilderness. … It was John’s choice to forego the enjoyments and luxuries of city life for the stern discipline of the wilderness. Here his surroundings were favorable to habits of simplicity and self-denial.” The Adventist Home, 133.

“There is not one family in a hundred who will be improved physically, mentally, or spiritually, by residing in the city.” Country Living, 13.

“Parents can secure small homes in the country, with land for cultivation where they can have orchards and where they can raise vegetables and small fruits. … God will help His people to find such homes outside of the cities.” Medical Ministry, 310.

Tuesday

THE CHILD’S FIRST SCHOOL

  • Whom has God ordained to be the child’s first teachers? Proverbs 1:8.

Note: “Parents should be the only teachers of their children until they have reached eight or ten years of age. As fast as their minds can comprehend it, the parents should open before them God’s great book of nature. The mother should have less love for the artificial in her house and in the preparation of her dress for display, and should find time to cultivate, in herself and in her children, a love for the beautiful buds and opening flowers. By calling the attention of her children to their different colors and variety of forms, she can make them acquainted with God, who made all the beautiful things which attract and delight them. She can lead their minds up to their Creator and awaken in their young hearts a love for their heavenly Father, who has manifested so great love for them. Parents can associate God with all His created works. The only schoolroom for children from eight to ten years of age should be in the open air amid the opening flowers and nature’s beautiful scenery. And their only textbook should be the treasures of nature. These lessons, imprinted upon the minds of young children amid the pleasant, attractive scenes of nature, will not be soon forgotten.” Testimonies, vol. 3, 137.

“In His wisdom the Lord has decreed that the family shall be the greatest of all educational agencies. It is in the home that the education of the child is to begin. Here is his first school.” The Adventist Home, 182.

  • What counsel should encourage parents to educate their own children as long as possible? Psalm 34:13, 14.

Note: “Some fathers and mothers are so indifferent, so careless, that they think it makes no difference whether their children attend a church school or a public school. ‘We are in the world,’ they say, ‘and we cannot get out of it.’ But, parents, we can get a good way out of the world, if we choose to do so. We can avoid seeing many of the evils that are multiplying so fast in these last days. We can avoid hearing about much of the wickedness and crime that exist.” The Adventist Home, 406.

“Neither the church school nor the college affords the opportunities for establishing a child’s character building upon the right foundation that are afforded in the home.” Child Guidance, 170.

Wednesday

LESSONS OF RESPONSIBILITY AND INDUSTRY

  • How are parents to educate their children in order to best prepare them to be responsible adults? Proverbs 22:6.

Note: “Children as well as parents have important duties in the home. They should be taught that they are a part of the home firm. They are fed and clothed and loved and cared for; and they should respond to these many mercies by bearing their share of the home burdens and bringing all the happiness possible into the family of which they are members.

“Let every mother teach her children that they are members of the family firm and must bear their share of the responsibilities of this firm. Every member of the family should bear these responsibilities as faithfully as church members bear the responsibilities of church relationships.

“Let the children know that they are helping father and mother by doing little errands. Give them some work to do for you, and tell them that afterward they can have a time to play.

“Children have active minds, and they need to be employed in lifting the burdens of practical life. … They should never be left to pick up their own employment. Parents should control this matter themselves.” The Adventist Home, 282.

“Allow them to help you in every way they can, and show them that you appreciate their help. Let them feel that they are a part of the family firm. Teach them to use their minds as much as possible, so to plan their work that they may do it quickly and thoroughly.” Child Guidance, 126.

  • What character trait is essential for usefulness? Proverbs 22:29.

Note: “One of the surest safeguards of the young is useful occupation. Children who are trained to industrious habits, so that all their hours are usefully and pleasantly employed … are in little danger of forming vicious habits or associations. …

“Habits of industry and thoroughness will be an untold blessing to the youth in the larger school of life, upon which they must enter as they grow older.” Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students, 122, 123.

Thursday

A SACRED WORK

  • How does the Bible describe the sacred work of heads of families? Psalm 128; Isaiah 8:18.

Note: “Parents, you carry responsibilities that no one can bear for you. As long as you live, you are accountable to God to keep His way. … Parents who make the word of God their guide, and who realize how much their children depend upon them for the characters they form, will set an example that it will be safe for their children to follow.” The Adventist Home, 187.

“After the minister has done all he can do for the church by faithful, affectionate admonition, patient discipline, and fervent prayer to reclaim and save the soul, yet is not successful, the fathers and mothers often blame him because their children are not converted, when it may be because of their own neglect. The burden rests with the parents; and will they take up the work that God has entrusted to them, and with fidelity perform it?” Testimonies, vol. 5, 495.

“Do not depend upon the teachers of the Sabbath school to do your work of training your children in the way they should go. The Sabbath school is a great blessing; it may help you in your work, but it can never take your place. God has given to all fathers and mothers the responsibility of bringing their children to Jesus, teaching them how to pray and believe in the word of God.” The Adventist Home, 189.

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    Why are parents considered the primary educators of children?

2    How is the environment of the home related to the work of education?

3    What are the potential results of young children spending every day away from home?

4    How is the home education central to usefulness for the rest of your life?

5    Why are some parents tempted to blame the church for their own failures?

© 2019, Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

A Little Heaven…What Home should be…

“A Little Heaven to Go to Heaven In”

“Society is composed of families and is what the heads of families make it. Out of the heart are ‘the issues of life’; and the heart of the community, of the church, and of the nation is the household. The well-being of society, the success of the church, the prosperity of the nation, depend upon home influences.” The Adventist Home, 15

The members of the home, through their speech and interactions with each other, will prove to be a blessing or a curse. Thus, much is at stake in the home. Now, more than ever, Satan is attempting to sabotage this critical establishment of society that God Himself instituted in Eden. The goal of any home should be to provide “a little heaven to go to heaven in.” The Review and Herald, April 21, 1891.

“The family on earth should be a type of the family in heaven. The home that is beautified by love, sympathy, and tenderness is a place that angels love to visit, and where God is glorified. The influence of a carefully guarded Christian home in the years of childhood and youth is the surest safeguard against the corruptions of the world. In the atmosphere of such a home, the children will learn to love both their earthly parents and their heavenly Father.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 10, 206.

“The home in which the members are polite, courteous Christians exerts a far-reaching influence for good. Other families will mark the results attained by such a home, and will follow the example set, in their turn guarding the home against Satanic influences. The angels of God will often visit the home in which the will of God bears sway. Under the power of divine grace such a home becomes a place of refreshing to worn, weary pilgrims. By watchful guarding, self is kept from asserting itself. Correct habits are formed. There is a careful recognition of the rights of others. The faith that works by love and purifies the soul stands at the helm, presiding over the whole household. Under the hallowed influence of such a home, the principle of brotherhood laid down in the word of God is more widely recognized and obeyed.” The Adventist Home, 31.

The devil does not want you to have such a home. He is determined to destroy the happiness in your home. One of the principal ways he does this is by influencing the members of the family, including the husband and the wife, to speak in an unsanctified way to each other. Here is an inspired description of this transgression. Notice that Satan’s ultimate goal is to destroy the church by destroying the family.

 “Well does Satan know what heaven is, and what the influence of the angels is. His work is to bring into every family the cruel elements of self-will, harshness, selfishness. Thus he seeks to destroy the happiness of the family. He knows that the spirit governing in the home will be brought into the church.” The Upward Look, 163.

Another method Satan uses to attempt to destroy the happiness of the home is by leading the husband into a misunderstanding between what it means to be the head of the house and what it means to be God. God has absolute authority. When God told Abraham to kill his son, Abraham was under moral obligation to obey. But no human being, whether husband or wife or employer or ruler, has absolute authority. All human authority is to be subservient to God’s authority and under the rule of His government. The following statements clarify this subject that is widely misunderstood.

“If the husband is tyrannical, exacting, critical of the actions of his wife, he cannot hold her respect and affection, and the marriage relation will become odious to her. She will not love her husband, because he does not try to make himself loveable. The Lord Jesus has not been correctly represented in His relation to the church by many husbands in their relation to their wives, for they do not keep the way of the Lord. They declare that their wives must be subject to them in everything.

“But it was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord; he is not the husband in the true significance of the term.

“If the wife should have the same mold of character as her husband, woe be to the children; the whole family would be a blot upon the earth. Instead of being a house-band, to bind the family together into the unity that is symbolized by the unity of Christ and the church, he will break every tie of affection, and the members of the family will be scattered, filled with bitterness and hatred one toward another.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 21, 215, 216.

Not only does the husband bear a critical responsibility to represent the character of Christ in his family relationships, every member of the family is to bear a degree of responsibility as well.

“Unless we control our words and temper, we are slaves to Satan. We are in subjection to him. He leads us captive. All jangling and unpleasant, impatient, fretful words are an offering presented to his Satanic majesty. And it is a costly offering, more costly than any sacrifice we can make for God, for it destroys the peace and happiness of whole families, destroys health, and is eventually the cause of forfeiting an eternal life of happiness.” Testimonies, vol. 1, 310.

We need to remember always that the words that we speak will be one of the major factors that determines our eternal destiny.

If our speech is to be reformed and changed, it must happen in this world before the coming of the Lord. This cannot be done in an instant and is why Ellen White told some people that they did not have a moment to lose. She cautioned that if they did not live long enough so that their speech could be reformed, they would be excluded from heaven. This idea is very unpopular today. Most people, including probably the vast majority of clergymen, believe and teach in effect that you can live like the devil without overcoming your character defects, but if the moment before you die you say, “Lord save me,” you will be saved. Wherever this idea originated it is not in the Bible and it is not true. The story of the thief on the cross does not substantiate this theory—see the description of that person who was saved at the 11th hour in The Desire of Ages, pages 749–751.

Notice how clearly the Spirit of Prophecy warns against the error of delay in self-reformation.

“Few have that genuine faith which works by love and purifies the soul. But all who are accounted worthy of everlasting life must obtain a moral fitness for the same. ‘Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is. And every man that hath this hope in Him purifieth himself, even as He is pure’ (1 John 3:2, 3). This is the work before you, and you have none too much time if you engage in the work with all your soul.

“You must experience a death to self, and must live unto God. ‘If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God’ (Colossians, 3:1). Self is not to be consulted. Pride, self-love, selfishness, avarice, covetousness, love of the world, hatred, suspicion, jealousy, evil surmisings, must all be subdued and sacrificed forever. When Christ shall appear, it will not be to correct these evils and then give a moral fitness for His coming. This preparation must all be made before He comes. It should be a subject of thought, of study, and earnest inquiry, What shall we do to be saved? What shall be our conduct that we may show ourselves approved unto God?

“When tempted to murmur, censure, and indulge in fretfulness, wounding those around you, and in so doing wounding your own soul, oh! let the deep, earnest, anxious inquiry come from your soul, Shall I stand without fault before the throne of God? Only the faultless will be there. None will be translated to heaven while their hearts are filled with the rubbish of earth. Every defect in the moral character must first be remedied, every stain removed by the cleansing blood of Christ, and all the unlovely, unlovable traits of character overcome.

“How long a time are you designing to take to prepare to be introduced into the society of heavenly angels in glory? In the state which you and your family are in at present, all heaven would be marred should you be introduced therein. The work for you must be done here. This earth is the fitting-up place. You have not one moment to lose. All is harmony, peace, and love in heaven. No discord, no strife, no censuring, no unloving words, no clouded brows, no jars there; and no one will be introduced there who possesses any of these elements so destructive to peace and happiness. Study to be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate, laying up for yourselves a good foundation against the time to come, that you may lay hold on everlasting life.

“Forever cease your murmurings in regard to this poor life, but let your soul’s burden be, how to secure the better life than this, a title to the mansions prepared for those who are true and faithful to the end. If you make a mistake here, everything is lost. If you devote your lifetime to securing earthly treasures, and lose the heavenly, you will find that you have made a terrible mistake. You cannot have both worlds. ‘What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul’ (Mark 8:36, 37)? Says the inspired Paul: ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal’ (2 Corinthians 4:17, 18).” Testimonies, vol. 1, 705, 706.

In this world we are actually in an all or nothing warfare of which there is no escape. It is a war in which we either win everything or lose everything. Our speech in our families, to stress a point already made, will be one of the most decisive factors as to where our eternal destiny is going to be.

There is an excellent testimony written to “Brother M” in volume 2 of the Testimonies, pages 84–88, in which strong counsel is given that details many of the errors made within the family that prevent the home from becoming “a little heaven to go to heaven in.”

The concluding paragraph of this testimony provides food for thought that all who have a deep yearning for heaven—not just a heaven-like atmosphere in their homes, but an eternal abode—should give deep thought and make a matter of earnest prayer:

“If you lose heaven, you lose everything; if you gain heaven, you gain everything. Do not make a mistake in this matter, I implore you. Eternal interests are here involved. Be thorough. May the God of all grace so enlighten your understanding that you may discern eternal things, that by the light of truth your own errors, which are many, may be discovered to you just as they are, that you may make the necessary effort to put them away, and in the place of this evil, bitter fruit may bring forth fruit which is precious unto eternal life.” Testimonies, vol. 2, 88.

We may not carry all of the errors that Inspiration pointed out to Brother M in this testimony, but it is true for everyone that “if you lose heaven, you lose everything.” May God, in His providence, guide us as we seek to make our homes “a little heaven to go to heaven in.”

(Unless appearing in quoted references or otherwise identified, Bible texts are from the New King James Version.)

Pastor John J. Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by email at: historic@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

Heaven on Earth

While the children of Israel were camped at Mount Sinai, Moses was called up to the mount. God said to him, “Let them make Me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8). A sanctuary is God’s house, a place where He longs to be. He desires that each home be a sanctuary, for He longs to be part of each one’s life and be present in every house.

In the book, Education, 258, we read this inspired comment: “It was in the mount with God that Moses beheld the pattern of that wonderful building which was to be the abiding place of His glory. It is in the mount with God—in the secret place of communion—that we are to contemplate His glorious ideal for humanity. Thus we shall be enabled so to fashion our character building that to us may be fulfilled His promise, ‘I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people’ ” (2 Corinthians 6:16).

We are called up into the mount, as Moses was, to behold the heavenly, because we also have something to build on earth that is like the heavenly pattern – the home, God’s masterpiece as far as an earthly temple is concerned. In the sanctuary of the home God wants to reveal His purpose to dwell with men.

In this mount with God, we are to contemplate His glorious ideal for humanity, but what is humanity made up of? “Society is composed of families.” The Adventist Home, 15. Often we think of the world as a whole, but it is divided up among nations. Most governments have their territory broken down into different divisions. We have the states, the counties, the smaller divisions, but as God looks at society, He thinks of it as grouped in families and those families are what the heads of families make them. “ ‘Out of the heart are the issues of life’  (Proverbs 4:23); and the heart of the community, of the church, and of the nation is the household.” Ibid. When we are dealing with the family, we are dealing with something very important and very precious to God.

When Moses was called up to the mount, he saw the temple of God and was told to make a copy of it here in this world. He accomplished that task. God recognized it and dwelt with His people during their wilderness wanderings and His presence was made manifest in that earthly copy of the heavenly sanctuary.

“Home should be made all that the word implies. It should be a little heaven upon earth.” Ibid.

Unfortunately that is not always the case and frequently, too many homes are a hell on earth. Then there are multitudes of homes that in a sense are neither heaven nor hell. The parents are ill-equipped and don’t know the best way to raise their children. Many of these homes are far from hell, but they are a long way from heaven.

We are told it is possible to experience a little heaven on earth; so why not take hold of it. After all, it has been bought and paid for by the death of Jesus. He rose and went back to heaven and is pleading for us in the heavenly sanctuary. Someday those who are faithful are going to heaven, but it will be enjoyed only by those who have already enjoyed heavenly principles on this earth. God offers us a little sample of it here if we would just taste and see whether we like it or not. If we do like it, He lets us have some more. His grace can provide an endless supply of heavenly principles. No fictitious manifestation from Hollywood or anything that money can buy can help us get there, for no eye has seen what the Lord has prepared for His people.

Though Moses spent many years in Egypt being educated the world’s way, it took another 40 years for God to prepare him to lead the children of Israel out of bondage. Pray that God will make us capable of and willing to cast much of what we have learned into the garbage can where it belongs and have that mountain top experience with Jesus and listen while He speaks and points out the right way. Our pattern is in heaven; that is the pattern of the Christian home. “Home should be made all that the word implies.”

“Every family in the home life should be a church, a beautiful symbol of the church of God in heaven.” Child Guidance, 480.

Fathers and mothers and children alike are to experience in each home a church life like the church of God in heaven. “All His [God’s] biddings are enablings.” Christ’s Object Lessons, 333. This experience doesn’t come naturally. It takes effort. To make our home like the pattern, we must behold it and then build just as Moses did. First he beheld and then went to work and built.

God said, “Let them make Me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8). Since “God is love” (1 John 4:8), if God dwells in the sanctuary, love abides there.

“Every home should be a place of love, a place where the angels of God abide.” The Adventist Home, 18.

On the veil at the entrance of the sanctuary that Moses built, as well as on the veil between the holy and the most holy, were embroidered angels. Angels were represented throughout the sanctuary. Your home also is to be a place where the angels of God abide. The more you sense the presence of the angel watchers, the more you will love what they love and hate what they hate.

God’s great purpose in our reproducing the heavenly plan here on earth is to enable us to know Him better. “And this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent” (John 17:3). To know God is to have life eternal. We get to know Him through His word, the Bible; we know Him through the life of Jesus, and we know Him through His creation.

There is yet another way to know Him. One of the sweetest statements in Inspiration is in Steps to Christ, page 10: “Through … the deepest and tenderest earthly ties that human hearts can know, He [God] has sought to reveal Himself to us.” Think of the different human relationships we have. The relationship between parents and children is one of the best. If you had a wonderful mother and father, you would have many good memories. If somehow that pattern was marred through human frailty, remember God’s ideal still stands and can be revealed to you. The close relationship between parents and children is designed to reveal God.

“His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God, The everlasting Father” (Isaiah 9:6). God is our Father. God gave the relationship between a father and his child for two reasons. The first is so the child growing up could learn to love his father and thus learn to know God. The second reason is so the father, in loving and training the little child, could learn to know how God feels.

Remember there was a man in the Bible who was especially set forth in that connection. The Bible says that Enoch walked with God 300 years after he begat Methuselah. It is not only the children who learn to know God through being in the home; it is also the parents, both the father and the mother, who learn to know God by being parents. All of us, whether we are men or women, as we think back to our childhood, can appreciate this verse in Isaiah 66:13: “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” That verse sparks memories of my own mother who so lovingly attended to my hurts with salve and a kiss.

God says, “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” He uses that picture to reveal Himself to us, using father love and mother love, not just the receiving of it on the part of the children, but the giving of it on the part of the father and mother. Dear parents, every time your heart goes out to your children, every time you are concerned about their behavior, every time you seek to comfort them in sorrow or to guide them in counsel, remember, you are not only to reveal God to that child; in that experience a revelation of God is to come to you. That is the great purpose of families.

This same purpose is true also with other relationships. Take the relationships between brothers and sisters. There are so many precious things in the Bible and Spirit of Prophecy about the relation of brother and brother and sister and sister and brother and sister and sister and brother – precious relationships. “There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Jesus is set forth as our elder brother and those who know the joy of sharing in loving fellowship as brothers and sisters have a revelation of the character of God.

However, there is one relationship that is more intimate than any other—the relationship between husband and wife. Basic to the whole pattern of human life, the core and center of every successful family is the relationship between husband and wife. The relationship between parents and children is not the primary relationship. Neither is the sibling relationship. Primary to all other relationships is that between a husband and wife. It was the first relationship that God established on this planet between two individuals, Adam and Eve, who were joined in wedlock by the Creator Himself. The purpose of marriage was, “… to reveal Himself to us through the deepest and tenderest earthly ties that human hearts can know.”

Dear husbands, have you thought it through that the purpose of the marriage relation is to reveal God to you? Do you know that the purpose of the marriage relation is to reveal God to your wife through you? The purpose of marriage is that the husband and the wife shall know God as they could know Him in no other way. There are views of the character of God that you can get as a married man, a married woman, that cannot be understood in any other way. No matter how far up the ladder of achievement in successful married life you are, there is something glorious beyond. I tell you this from experience. I know that this is true.

As I think of my own experience and enter into the experience of any other people in the 40 years I have been in the ministry, this statement sums it up so wonderfully. “To gain a proper understanding of the marriage relation is the work of a lifetime. Those who marry enter a school from which they are never in this life to be graduated.” The Adventist Home, 105. You can never graduate from this course while you are alive. We are dealing with infinite riches with tremendous possibilities.

This relationship is not mere sentimentalism as is often expressed in many poems and love songs where most are dealing with people who have not made a serious commitment to each other. Today, many people are unable to weather the storms and trials that may arrive and are on their second, third or even fourth marriage. We surely need the guidance of the Lord in choosing our spouse. We need to come up into the mount with God and look at the pattern. After all, how could a carpenter put up a stable building if he never looked at the blueprint?

A healthy marriage takes work and prayer. Both partners must climb the mount and study for themselves what the Lord requires, then go together. Take time down on your knees to behold and then arise and build according to the pattern and you can experience heaven on earth.

Inspiration tells us, “There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God, and places the parties in a position better to glorify Him.” Testimonies, vol. 4, 504.

Reading this can be discouraging, especially when the devil then whispers, Well that’s the trouble, you got the wrong mate. But friends, there is good news. There are glorious possibilities with the companion you have. Do not listen to the devil, for he is a liar.

Inspiration writes about a young woman beloved of God who was held in bondage to a godless youth. Her nervous system was shattered. “Her marriage was a deception of the devil. Yet now she should make the best of it.” The Adventist Home, 351. Here was a woman who had the word of the living God that her marriage was a deception of the devil, yet now she is to make the best of it. If she could do this, don’t you think you can make the best of your situation?

Many people become infatuated and are thus allured into marriage. Very soon they find out that they are incompatible, not realizing that almost everybody who has ever been married since Adam and Eve came out of Eden has been incompatible. One of the great purposes of marriage is to help people learn how to be compatible.

“Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment.” Ibid., 106.

Martin Luther used to say, “You can’t keep birds from flying over your head but you can prevent them from making nests in your hair.” The devil may say that your problem is that you married the wrong person, but never harbor that thought. Don’t let it in even if it hollers around outside. Don’t open the door and argue with it or pay it any attention. Here is what to do instead.

“Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other.” Ibid. What we learn in marriage is the science of love. Love is not selfishness, but is unselfishness. In marriage we are not to dwell on what I wish my companion would do for me, but how I can be all that is possible to be to my companion. The greater the incompatibility, the more need there is to get down to business and work at this job. This is how to make the best of it.

We are living in an age where it is easy to just throw up things to our partner and complain, but that is from the devil. Make the best of it. This best is not some second-rate thing, but the best. No matter how big a mess you have made of things, or what a miserable failure you or your companion are, the two of you together can have heaven on earth. God guarantees it. “Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. … Study to advance the happiness of each other. … Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.” Ibid.

“Remember, my dear brother and sister, that God is love and that by His grace you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage pledge you promised to do.” Ibid., 112. God guarantees that you can succeed in making each other happy, but it will take the two of you together.

Men and women can reach God’s ideal for them if they will take Christ as their helper. “Higher than the highest human thought can reach is God’s ideal for His children.” Education, 18. “What human wisdom cannot do, His grace will accomplish for those who give themselves to Him in loving trust. His providence can unite hearts in bonds that are of heavenly origin. … Heart will be bound to heart in the golden bonds of a love that is enduring.” The Adventist Home, 112, 113.

Even for those couples who have experienced heaven on earth from the day they were married to the present hour, there is still something more wonderful ahead. Remember, no one graduates from this school of marriage. It is the work of a lifetime.

“Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour” (Ephesians 5:1, 2). Again this is the language of the sanctuary—the fragrant incense. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it” (verse 25). When husbands love their wives, the wives will know better how to fit in to the part they are to play in the relationship. Christ’s love to each other is to be manifest in the home.

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is the great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (verses 28–33). These verses are clearly referring to Christ and His church and husbands and wives.

“In early Christian usage, the term ‘mystery’ did not mean something that could not be understood, as it does today, but something that could be understood only by those who were initiated; that is, those who had the right to know.” A Commentary on Daniel and Revelation from The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 7, 740.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery” (Ephesians 5:31, 32, first part).

Only married people can understand this mystery, but just being married does not automatically initiate you and reveal this mystery to you. The successful marriage is one in a hundred, so 99 out of 100 couples that get married still do not know the mystery. Many get caught up with the fluff and bubble of the ceremony and then become disappointed, not realizing that the mystery is only unlocked by having a heart connection.

The challenge is, just as there is something more to the union with Christ than baptism, although it includes baptism, there is something more to the union of marriage than the physical experience of man and woman joined together. Certainly, it includes that, but if all people know is the physical side of marriage then they will miss the greatest blessing.

Jesus said, “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:19). If any two people on earth have the right to claim this wonderful promise, it is the husband and wife.

Alone with God and each other get down on your knees and take this verse. Read it to each other and say, What is it that we want? What is it that we desire? Pick out your hardest problem and your greatest need, pick out your deepest longing and agree together to ask God for a miracle. For it is a miracle when two people can live together in happiness and love and that is what it takes to have heaven on earth. No matter how much you have already been blessed, why not reach up to get the richer gift and the larger blessing that is being offered and know what it means to be fully, completely blended. For each of us there are heights above that we have never yet reached.

Dear Lord, teach us the science of love, teach us the art of love. We need it for we are naturally selfish but teach us this wonderful experience, not just so we can get along together but so that we can know You, so that we can understand God, so that we can reveal God to our children and to others. Amen.

Elder W.D. Frazee studied the Medical Missionary Course at the College of Medical Evangelists in Loma Linda, California. He was called to Utah as a gospel medical evangelist. During the Great Depression, when the church could not afford to hire any assistants, Elder Frazee began inviting professionals to join him as volunteers. Thus began a faith ministry that would become the foundation for the establishment of the Wildwood Medical Missionary Institute in 1942. He believed that each person is unique, specially designed by the Lord, of infinite value, and has a special place and mission in this world which only he can fill. His life followed this principle and he encouraged others to do the same.

The Divine Plan

“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth His handywork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard.” Psalms 19:1–3.

Have you ever wondered why there are so many things in God’s creation that seem to be so similar? Take the similarity in construction of the solar system and of the atom. True, there are certain differences, but there are many basic principles that remain the same. Why?

Of course we know that it was the same Creator that created both the solar system and the atom. But couldn’t He have figured out different principles for different systems? Of course He could have.

But, besides all having the same Creator, we have a perfect Creator. And He created all things perfect. For many things there is only one perfect way of doing things. Thus, the perfect way of holding the solar system together is the same perfect way of holding the atom together.

Thus it is in our social nature. There are certain principles which God says were the very best for fulfilling social needs and thus He established the same principles in Heaven and on earth. The center of social life is the home and family.

“When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.” Adventist Home, 26.

The principles of the home are divine principles. They are principles that are found in heaven. When these principles are followed the home becomes a sanctified home.

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.” Genesis 1:27.

Man is created in God’s image—not so much physically (for “He is a Spirit.” John 4:24), but mentally, socially and spiritually. In this article we are dealing with primarily the social and we are going to seek to find the ideal for our social nature by looking at the pattern and copying it.

It is important that we copy the pattern exactly, in every detail—just as Moses was admonished to do with the sanctuary. “Who serve unto the example and shadow of heavenly things, as Moses was admonished of God when he was about to make the tabernacle: for, ‘See,’ saith He,‘that thou make all things according to the pattern showed to thee in the mount.’ ” Hebrews 8:5. If we will spend the time in communion with God and in studying the pattern (the heavenly family), our homes will become sanctified—or, a sanctuary.

To be sanctified means to be set apart for holy use. When a home is sanctified, it becomes a sanctuary for God to dwell in. Thus we find that many of heaven’s principles for our homes are demonstrated even in the earthly sanctuary that Moses pitched. When we start realizing these principles of our homes being copied after the pattern of heavenly things, the whole Bible takes on meaning for home and family improvement. “God would have our families symbols of the family in heaven.” Adventist Home, 17.

Now we will look at some of the heavenly principles that our homes are to be patterned after.

The #1 Principle: LOVE—of course

This must be the basis for anything that is copied after heavenly things for “God is love.” 1 John 4:8. But the point is, what is true love? Is it a feeling, sentimentalism, a physical act? What is love? And how is it displayed?

True love is a principle—a sanctified principle. (A sanctified principle is one which has been set apart or established by God.)

“True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse, and which suddenly dies when severely tested.” Adventist Home, 50.

“Sanctified principle should be the basis of every action [in the marriage relation].” Ibid., 122.

Love is a heaven established principle. This love principle is the good, old, heaven established principle of give and take! Not the give and take that we find in the world, but the give and take that is based on oneness with others—to give to others as though you were giving to yourself and to receive from others as though receiving from yourself (to appreciate the gift as though it had been you that had made the sacrifice.) The world’s counterfeit to this is a give and take that is based on selfishness.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12.

God demonstrates His love by giving and we demonstrate our love to Him by taking (or, in others words, by accepting His gifts and obeying His instructions.)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” John 3:16.

“If ye love Me, keep [accept] My commandments.” John 14:15.

The worldly, selfish way of giving commands is usually to bring glory and happiness to the commander. But Christ gave commands, instruction and Him-self, to bring happiness to the receiver.

“These things have I spoken unto you, that My joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” John 15:11.

Another way of saying “giving and taking” is to say “leading and submitting.” Leadership and submission is a universal and divinely established (sanctified) plan. It is a law of all social relationships in the whole universe. It is also a law of Satan, but his is based on force and selfishness rather than on voluntary compliance and on love for the other person.

Circles of Love

As with the solar system and the atom, so the same circle of love that is manifested by guidance and submission between God and parents, is the same circle of love God intended should exist between parents and children. In fact, so similar is the relationship that God is called “our Father” and Christ, like a mother, brought us all into the world by His creative power.

“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matthew 5:45.

“As one whom his mother com-forteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” Isaiah 66:13.

God’s relationship to us is like the ideal parent-child relationship. Therefore, to truly understand how to correctly raise a child, where would we turn to for our understanding?

“Parents are entitled to a degree of love and respect which is due to no other person. God Himself, who has placed upon them a responsibility for the souls committed to their charge, has ordained that during the earlier years of life parents shall stand in the place of God to their children. And he who rejects the rightful authority of his parents is rejecting the authority of God.” Adventist Home, 293.

Where the problem comes in is that sin has messed up the “circle of love” pattern. Parents have never learned to submit themselves but expect their children to submit. (They expect of their children that which they are not willing to do themselves.) And because they themselves have never experienced the loving guidance of God, they do not know how to exercise loving guidance over their children. So the children are placed at a double disadvantage—they neither witness the example of their parents submitting to God nor do they experience the loving guidance which would cause them to want to submit, which God alone can teach to the parents. You can learn all the theory you want, but if you do not have a “circle of love” relationship with God—you know nothing about raising children correctly.

To Obey God or Man?

“When children have unbelieving parents, and their commands contradict the requirements of Christ, then, painful though it may be, they must obey God and trust the consequences with Him.” Adventist Home, 293.

“He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Matthew 10:37.

“But,” someone may say, “I thought we just finished reading in Adventist Home, 293, that ‘parents shall stand in the place of God to their children.’ ” The sentences before that said “during the early years.” As soon as the child is old enough to develop a “circle of love” relationship of his own with God, then he becomes accountable to God personally.

Does this mean that the child is no longer under duty to be submissive to his parents? “‘Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.’ This is the first commandment with promise. It is binding upon childhood and youth, upon the middle-aged and the aged. There is no period in life when children are excused from honoring their parents. This solemn obligation is binding upon every son and daughter.” Adventist Home, 292.

There should be no conflict between obeying God and obeying our parents. But because of sin this is not the case. As long as we can obey God, we are to obey our parents all of our lives. But in case there is a conflict between obeying God or our parents, we must obey God.

We submit the most completely to those we love the most. (In the worldly “circle of selfishness” people submit most completely to those whom they either fear the most or think they can benefit the most from.) If we truly love God the most, we will submit to Him.

Think through these texts in relationship to this question.

“Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.” Acts 5:29.

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” Matthew 22:37, 38.

“He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Matthew 10:37.

Thought Question:

Does “obeying God rather than man” just involve keeping the Sabbath and paying tithe or could it involve the social, physical and mental aspects of life as well as the spiritual?

Let us illustrate the principle of submitting to God or to man by a worldly example:

Suppose we have a lineman who works on an assembly line and he takes his orders from the foreman. The foreman takes his orders from the boss of the company. If a lineman does not have any relationship with the boss and only knows what the foreman tells him, then the foreman stands in the place of the boss to the lineman and the lineman is responsible for only what the foreman tells him. This is the way a child is responsible to his parents as to God until he has a relationship of his own with God.

But now, suppose the boss becomes acquainted with the lineman and gives him a direct order contrary to what the foreman has said, now who is he responsible to? The boss himself. However, because the foreman may have been in disagreement with the boss on one point does not excuse the lineman for disobeying the foreman on every other account. And also, because the foreman himself may not be in perfect compliance with the boss on every point does that change the lineman’s relationship to the foreman (except where there is a direct conflict of orders)?

Submission from Love or Fear

There are three different types of relationship to God:

  1. Nonsubmission
  2. Submission from fear
  3. Submission from love

Whichever type of relationship a parent has toward God, his child will tend to have the same relationship.

“Parents should themselves be converted and know what it is to be in submission to God’s will, as little children, bringing into captivity their thoughts to the will of Jesus Christ, before they can rightly represent the government that God designed should exist in the family.” Adventist Home, 306.

Who Loves First?

“Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1 John 4:10.

Just as God loves us first and thereby wins our affection, just so the parent loves the child first and gains his trust, and the child in turn loves the parent and submits to his loving guidance. The parent does not bring the child home from the hospital and tell him “you submit to my control now—I’m going to show you that I am in control and you are going to obey the fifth commandment and obey me.” No! He showers him with love and soon the child is returning the parents affections and submitting to their loving guidance.

Husbands and Wives

“Now we are down to the real thing,” someone is going to say. Yet, we have been talking about the principles of husbands and wives this whole time. As we have noticed before, the same principles of relationships exist throughout the universe and apply to the husband and wife as well.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.” Galatians 5:22–26.

“So,” says the wife, “I am in the same relationship to my husband as a child.” Some of the same principles apply (as they do throughout the rest of the universe) but there are some real differences. Namely, that the wife is equal with the husband; whereas, in the relationships we have been talking about up to this point, we have had superior versus inferior beings. God is superior to the parents and the parents are superior to the child.

In this day of “equal rights,” submission is not a popular word. Liberation is the battle cry. Equality itself is an old established Bible principle.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28.

“Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self; showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.” Adventist Home, 25.

So how does equality fit in with this heaven ordained principle of guidance and submission as commanded in Ephesians 5:22–26? In the world, authority is based on superiority; but not so in heaven. Again, to understand this mystery we go to our heavenly pattern.

These are lines of authority for choices that involve more than one being. God has given freedom to all and no one is to be a robot. But for things to involve more than one being, there are the lines of authority and submission that God set up.

Another real difference between the relation of husband and wife and that of parent and child is that parents are raising the child and helping him to form right character principles. But the husband is not raising the wife; they are to become one and are equal—and both are to help each other in character development. The principle of government between the husband and wife is so they can live together unitedly, work harmoniously and so learn to fit into the government of heaven.

“Your life would be much happier if you did not feel that absolute authority is vested in you because you are a husband and father.” Adventist Home, 225.

“You have peculiar views in regard to managing your family. You exercise an independent, arbitrary power which permits no liberty of will around you. You think yourself sufficient to be head in your family and feel that your head is sufficient to move every member, as a machine is moved in the hands of the workmen. You dictate and assume authority. This displeases Heaven and grieves the pitying angels. You have conducted yourself in your family as though you alone were capable of self-government. It has offended you that your wife should venture to oppose your opinion or question your decisions.” Ibid., 226.

“You think too much of your opinion; you have taken extreme positions, and have not been willing that your wife’s judgment should have the weight it should in your family. You have not encouraged respect for your wife yourself nor educated your children to respect her judgment. You have not made her your equal, but have rather taken the reins of government and control into your own hands and held them with a firm grasp. You have not an affectionate, sympathetic disposition. These traits of character you need to cultivate if you want to be an overcomer and if you want the blessing of God in your family.” Ibid., 227.

In the Godhead, we notice that the Father and the Son counsel together and make joint decisions, but the Father is still the head. This is the kind of headship the husband is to be. “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3.

Another difference between the husband-wife relationship and that of parent-child is that the husband and wife are not to keep any secrets from each other that they might share with someone else. They are to be united and as one flesh.

“The husband and wife should be all to each other. The wife should have no secrets to keep from her husband and let others know, and the husband should have no secrets to keep from his wife to relate to others.” Adventist Home, 177.

“For the Father loveth the Son, and showeth Him all things that Himself doeth: and He will show Him greater works than these, that ye may marvel.” John 5:20.

But many times there are things that are not revealed unto the children. “I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.” John 16:12.

Angelic Submission

The angels demonstrate this same principle of guidance and submission that is demonstrated between the Father and Son and should be demonstrated between husband and wife.

“Angels work harmoniously. Perfect order characterizes all their movements. The more closely we imitate the harmony and order of the angelic host, the more successful will be the efforts of these heavenly agents in our behalf. . . . Subjection and thorough discipline mark the movements of the angelic host.” Testimonies, vol. 1, 649, 650.

The reason the angels work so harmoniously together, as though they were one, is because they have perfect submission. They have all learned perfect submission.

There was only one that refused to learn submission—Lucifer. But watch this—for those who say the wife is supposed to be subject unto the husband in all things even to disobeying God—what happened to the angels that remained subject unto Lucifer in his rebellion?

Submission is a principle learned by all the angels—and it must be learned by all of the family—not just the wife. Submission is a universal principle and it is just as much a principle for the husband to learn as for the wife to learn. The only difference is who they are immediately subject to. Never can perfect harmony reign in a home until every member learns the principle of submission.

Thought Question:

What if one family member has not learned submission—do the other members still have a duty to learn it?

Submission is a universal principle, and regardless of what any other member of the family may do, every member that ever makes it to heaven will have to learn the true principles of submission. Lack of submission to Christ forced the angels out of heaven and we are definitely not going to be taken there until we learn the principle.

But is submission hard? Not if the one doing the guiding has the love of Christ. Christ loved us enough to die for us—and that while we were yet sinners (before we had learned to submit). He even loves us enough to take us back and forgive us after we committed spiritual adultery against Him. Here are lessons for us all. (Note, however, that there is such a thing as an unpardonable sin.)

Learning the Principle

Guidance and submission is based on true love. It is the outworking of this heavenly principle. If we learn true love, guidance and submission will be the natural result.

“All true obedience comes from the heart. It was heart work with Christ. And if we consent, He will so identify Himself with our thoughts and aims, so blend our hearts and minds into conformity to His will, that when obeying Him we shall be but carrying out our own impulses. The will, refined and sanctified, will find its highest delight in doing His service. When we know God as it is our privilege to know Him, our life will be a life of continual obedience. Through an appreciation of the character of Christ, through communion with God, sin will become hateful to us.” The Desire of Ages, 668.

When we learn of God, the submission of self will be but the carrying out of our own impulses. For guidance and submission to work it must be based on love and the only place we can learn true love is from God.

“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:7, 8.

If you want more love, where is the only place you can find it? Can you find it from Hollywood, from worldly marriage counsellors, from worldly books?

And secondly, if you do not know God, can you know love? Can a Hollywood producer who does not know God or a worldly marriage counsellor who does not know God know about true love?

But more importantly, can your spouse or child know true love without knowing God? And what are you doing, therefore, to encourage them in their daily devotional life? But most importantly of all, can you know true love without knowing God through a daily relationship with Him?

This principle of true love is one which we will be learning more about throughout eternity. And as long as we are in a family on earth, we can daily learn more of the joys of this principle.

“To gain a proper understanding of the marriage relation is the work of a lifetime. Those who marry enter a school from which they are never in this life to be graduated.” Adventist Home, 105.

But this growing experience can only come through a daily relationship with God: through daily devotions. “Continual devotion establishes so close a relation between Jesus and His disciple that the Christian becomes like Him in mind and character.” The Desire of Ages, 251.

This includes prayer, Bible and Spirit of Prophecy study and meditation. If you are not having this relationship, you do not as yet know true happiness in marriage! “But,” you say, “not very many people have daily devotions that amount to anything.” That is true, and that is why, “There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily.” Testimonies, vol. 4, 504.

But you can be the “one.” You can enjoy this happiness. You can have it if you will daily learn from the pattern.

“The sweetest type of heaven is a home where the Spirit of the Lord presides. If the will of God is fulfilled, the husband and wife will respect each other and cultivate love and confidence.” The Adventist Home, 15.

The Sabbath – A Delight

“There is need of a Sabbath reform among us, who profess to observe God’s holy rest day.” Evangelism, 245.

Preparation for the Sabbath–What preparations in our homes should be done before the Sabbath?

“On Friday let the preparation for the Sabbath be completed. See that all the clothing is in readiness, and that all the cooking is done. Let the boots be blacked, and the baths be taken. It is possible to do this. If you make it a rule, you can do it. The Sabbath is not to be given to the repairing of garments, to the cooking of food, to pleasure seeking, or to any other worldly employment. . . . Parents, explain your work and its purpose to your children, and let them share in your preparation to keep the Sabbath according to the commandment.” Child Guidance, 528.

“All preparation should be made, every stitch taken, on the six working days; all cooking for the Sabbath should be done on the preparation day. . . . The commandment is, `Bake that which ye will bake to-day, and seethe that ye will seethe, for to-morrow is the rest of the holy Sabbath.’ That day is not to be given to the cooking of food.” Lake Union Herald, April 14, 1909.

When should all ordinary work be completed?

“Before the setting of the sun let all secular work be laid aside and all secular papers be put out of sight.” The Faith I Live By, 34.

“We should jealously guard the edges of the Sabbath. Remember that every moment is consecrated, holy time.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 356.

What are employers responsible to do for their employees on the preparation day?

“Whenever it is possible, employers should give their workers the hours from Friday noon until the beginning of the Sabbath. Give them time for preparation, that they may welcome the Lord’s day with quietness of mind. By such a course you will suffer no loss even in temporal things.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 356.

What other type of preparation is needed before the Sabbath?

“There is another work that should receive attention on the preparation day. On this day all differences between brethren, whether in the family or in the church, should be put away. Let all bitterness and wrath and malice be expelled from the soul. In a humble spirit, `confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another.’ ” The Faith I Live By, 34.

How should families spend the opening of the Sabbath hours?

“Before the setting of the sun let the members of the family assemble to read God’s word, to sing and pray. There is need of reform here, for many have been remiss. We need to confess to God and to one another. We should begin anew to make special arrangements that every member of the family may be prepared to honor the day which God has blessed and sanctified.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 356, 357.

Behavior Upon the Sabbath–What should our attitude and behavior be when we are in the house of God?

“Humility and reverence should characterize the deportment of all who come into the presence of God. In the name of Jesus we may come before Him with confidence, but we must not approach Him with the boldness of presumption, as though He were on a level with ourselves. There are those who address the great and all-powerful and holy God, who dwelleth in light unapproachable, as they would address an equal, or even an inferior. There are those who conduct themselves in His house as they would not presume to do in the audience chamber of an earthly ruler. These should remember that they are in His sight whom seraphim adore, before whom angels veil their faces. God is greatly to be reverenced; all who truly realize His presence will bow in humility before Him, and, like Jacob beholding the vision of God, they will cry out, `How dreadful is this place! This is none other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.'” Patriarchs and Prophets, 252.

“When the worshipers enter the place of meeting, they should do so with decorum, passing quietly to their seats. . . .Common talking, whispering, and laughing should not be permitted in the house of worship, either before or after the service. Ardent, active piety should characterize the worshipers.” Testimonies, vol. 5, 492.

“When the word is spoken, you should remember, brethren, that you are listening to the voice of God through His delegated servant. Listen attentively. Sleep not for one instant, because by this slumber you may lose the very words that you need most-the very words which, if heeded, would save your feet from straying into wrong paths. Satan and his angels are busy creating a paralyzed condition of the senses so that cautions, warnings, and reproofs shall not be heard; or if heard, that they shall not take effect upon the heart and reform the life. Sometimes a little child may so attract the attention of the hearers that the precious seed does not fall into good ground and bring forth fruit.” Testimonies, vol. 5, 493.

Can God be dishonored by our children’s behavior in the house of God?

“The house of God is desecrated and the Sabbath violated by Sabbath believers’ children. They run about the house, play, talk, and manifest their evil tempers in the very meetings where the saints have met together to glorify God and to worship Him in the beauty of holiness. The place that should be holy, where a holy stillness should reign, and where there should be perfect order, neatness, and humility, is made to be a perfect Babylon and a place where confusion, disorder, and untidiness reign. This is enough to shut out God from our assemblies and cause His wrath to be kindled, that He will not be pleased to go out with the armies of Israel to battle against our enemies.” Selected Messages, Book 3, 257.

Does all of the Sabbath need to be spent in meetings?

“In order to keep the Sabbath holy, it is not necessary that we enclose ourselves in walls, shut away from the beautiful scenes of nature and from the free, invigorating air of heaven. We should in no case allow burdens and business transactions to divert our minds upon the Sabbath of the Lord, which He has sanctified. We should not allow our minds to dwell upon things of a worldly character even. But the mind cannot be refreshed, enlivened, and elevated by being confined nearly all the Sabbath hours within walls, listening to long sermons and tedious, formal prayers. The Sabbath of the Lord is put to a wrong use if thus celebrated. The object for which it was instituted is not attained. The Sabbath was made for man, to be a blessing to him by calling his mind from secular labor to contemplate the goodness and glory of God. It is necessary that the people of God assemble to talk of Him, to interchange thoughts and ideas in regard to the truths contained in His word, and to devote a portion of time to appropriate prayer. But these seasons, even upon the Sabbath, should not be made tedious by their length and lack of interest.” Testimonies, vol. 2, 583.

“The Sabbath was made to be a blessing to man, by calling his mind from secular labor to contemplate the goodness and glory of God. It is necessary that the people of God assemble statedly for His worship, to interchange thoughts in regard to the truths of His word, and to devote a portion of time to prayer. But these seasons, even upon the Sabbath, should not be made tedious by their length and lack of interest. During a portion of the day, all should have an opportunity to be out-of-doors.” The Signs of the Times, May 20, 1886.

Upon whom should our thoughts and speech be focused on the Sabbath?

“When you are speaking of your hope in God, of Jesus and of His soon coming, and of the beauties of the New Earth, you are not speaking your own words. Of these things you may freely speak on the Sabbath. On six days you may talk of business matters, and lay plans that are necessary; but the Sabbath is holy time, and all worldly thoughts must, on that day, be dismissed from the mind. The blessing of God will then rest upon you, and you will have the sweet consolations of His Spirit, and you will also have confidence when you approach the throne of grace.” The Youth’s Instructor, February 1, 1853.

Where should our thoughts be on the Sabbath?

“Those who discuss business matters or lay plans on the Sabbath are regarded by God as though engaged in the actual transaction of business. To keep the Sabbath holy, we should not even allow our minds to dwell upon things of a worldly character. And the commandment includes all within our gates. The inmates of the house are to lay aside their worldly business during the sacred hours. All should unite to honor God by willing service upon His holy day.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 307, 308.

“The human agent cannot afford to lose these blessings by dishonoring God in their loose habits and practices. This is a day of meditation and of closely examining our own spiritual condition before God. `Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith.’ On that day have no loose, cheap, common talk.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 21, 295.

“God requires not only that we refrain from physical labor upon the Sabbath, but that the mind be disciplined to dwell upon sacred themes. By conversing upon worldly things, or by engaging in light and trifling conversation, we virtually transgress the fourth commandment. Talking upon anything or everything which may come into the mind, is speaking our own words. Every deviation from right brings us into bondage and condemnation.” Gospel Workers, 207, 208.

Are we to leave our worldly occupations on the Sabbath?

“The Sabbath is not intended to be a period of useless inactivity. The law forbids secular labor on the rest day of the Lord; the toil that gains a livelihood must cease; no labor for worldly pleasure or profit is lawful upon that day; but as God ceased His labor of creating, and rested upon the Sabbath and blessed it, so man is to leave the occupations of his daily life, and devote those sacred hours to healthful rest, to worship, and to holy deeds.” Desire of Ages, 207.

“God has given men six days wherein to labor, and He requires that their own work be done in the six working days. Acts of necessity and mercy are permitted on the Sabbath, the sick and suffering are at all times to be cared for; but unnecessary labor is to be strictly avoided.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 307.

When is it necessary that some labor be done upon the Sabbath?

“There are cases in which Christ has given permission to labor even on the Sabbath in saving the life of men or of animals. But if we violate the letter of the fourth commandment for our own advantage from a pecuniary point of view we become Sabbathbreakers and are guilty of transgressing all the commandments, for if we offend in one point we are guilty of all.” Testimonies, vol. 1, 531.

“Your neglect to attend the public worship of God is a serious error. The privileges of divine service will be as beneficial to you as to others and are fully as essential. You may be unable to avail yourself of these privileges as often as do many others. You will frequently be called, upon the Sabbath, to visit the sick, and may be obliged to make it a day of exhausting labor. Such labor to relieve the suffering was pronounced by our Saviour a work of mercy and no violation of the Sabbath. But when you regularly devote your Sabbaths to writing or labor, making no special change, you harm your own soul, give to others an example that is not worthy of imitation, and do not honor God.” Counsels on Health, 368.

Is the Sabbath to be spent sleeping?

“None should feel at liberty to spend sanctified time in an unprofitable manner. It is displeasing to God for Sabbath-keepers to sleep during much of the Sabbath. They dishonor their Creator in so doing, and, by their example, say that the six days are too precious for them to spend in resting. They must make money, although it be by robbing themselves of needed sleep, which they make up by sleeping away holy time. They then excuse themselves by saying, `The Sabbath was given for a day of rest. I will not deprive myself of rest to attend meeting; for I need rest.’ Such make a wrong use of the sanctified day.” Gospel Workers, 208.

How should we be dressed when we come to worship God upon the Sabbath?

“All should be taught to be neat, clean, and orderly in their dress, but not to indulge in that external adorning which is wholly inappropriate for the sanctuary. There should be no display of the apparel; for this encourages irreverence. The attention of the people is often called to this or that fine article of dress, and thus thoughts are intruded that should have no place in the hearts of the worshipers. God is to be the subject of thought, the object of worship; and anything that attracts the mind from the solemn, sacred service is an offense to Him. The parading of bows and ribbons, ruffles and feathers, and gold and silver ornaments is a species of idolatry and is wholly inappropriate for the sacred service of God, where the eye of every worshiper should be single to His glory.” Testimonies, vol. 5, 499

“The ten commandments spoken by Jehovah from Sinai cannot live in the hearts of persons of disorderly, filthy habits. If ancient Israel could not so much as listen to the proclamation of that holy law, unless they had obeyed the injunction of Jehovah, and had cleansed their clothing, how can that sacred law be written upon the hearts of persons who are not cleanly in person, in clothing, or in their houses? It is impossible. Their profession may be as high as Heaven, yet it is not worth a straw. Their influence disgusts unbelievers. Better if they had ever remained outside the ranks of God’s loyal people. The house of God is dishonored by such professors. All who meet upon the Sabbath to worship God should, if possible, have a neat, well-fitting, comely suit to wear in the house of worship. It is a dishonor to the Sabbath, and to God and his house, for those who profess that the Sabbath is the holy of the Lord, and honorable, to wear the same clothing upon the Sabbath that they have worn through the week while laboring upon their farms, when they can obtain other. If there are worthy persons who, with their whole heart would honor the lord of the Sabbath, and the worship of God, and who cannot obtain a change of clothing, let those who are able, donate to such a Sabbath suit, that they may appear in the house of God with cleanly, fitting apparel. A greater uniformity in dress would be pleasing to God. Those who expend means on costly apparel and extra fixings, can by a little self-denial exemplify pure religion, by simplicity of clothing, and then use the means they have usually expended needlessly in aiding some poor brother or sister, whom God loves, to obtain neat and modest apparel.” Selected Messages, Book 2, 474, 475.

Should travel be avoided when possible?

“If we desire the blessing promised to the obedient, we must observe the Sabbath more strictly. I fear that we often travel on this day when it might be avoided. In harmony with the light which the Lord has given in regard to the observance of the Sabbath, we should be more careful about traveling on the boats or cars on this day. In these matters we should set a right example before our children and youth. In order to reach the churches that need our help, and to give them the message that God desires them to hear, it may be necessary for us to travel on the Sabbath; but so far as possible we should secure our tickets and make all necessary arrangements on some other day. When starting on a journey we should make every possible effort to plan so as to avoid reaching our destination on the Sabbath.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 359.

What should Sabbath meals be like?

“We should not provide for the Sabbath a more liberal supply or a greater variety of food than for other days. Instead of this the food should be more simple, and less should be eaten, in order that the mind may be clear and vigorous to comprehend spiritual things. Overeating befogs the brain. The most precious words may be heard and not appreciated, because the mind is confused by an improper diet. By overeating on the Sabbath, many have done more than they think to dishonor God.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 357.

“Cooking on the Sabbath should be avoided; but it is not therefore necessary to eat cold food. In cold weather the food prepared the day before should be heated. And let the meals, however simple, be palatable and attractive. Especially in families where there are children, it is well, on the Sabbath, to provide something that will be regarded as a treat, something the family do not have every day.” The Ministry of Healing, 307, 308.

Children and the Sabbath–How should children be taught to think about the Sabbath?

“All who love God should do what they can to make the Sabbath a delight, holy and honorable. They cannot do this by seeking their own pleasure in sinful, forbidden amusements. They can do much to exalt the Sabbath in their families, and make it the most interesting day of the week. We should devote time to interest our children. We can walk out with them in the open air. A change will have a happy influence upon them. We can sit with them in the groves, and in the bright sunshine, and give their restless minds something to feed upon by conversing with them upon the works of God, and inspire them with love and reverence by calling their attention to the beautiful objects in nature. The Sabbath should be made so interesting to our families that its weekly return will be hailed with joy. In no better way can parents exalt and honor the Sabbath than to devise means to impart proper instruction to their families, and to interest them in spiritual things, giving them correct views of the character of God, and what he requires of us, in order to perfect Christian characters and to attain to eternal life. Parents, make the Sabbath a delight, that your children shall look forward to it, and have a welcome in their hearts for it.” Review and Herald, May 30, 1871.

How should parents keep the Sabbath with their children?

“The parents may take their children outdoors to view God in nature. They can be pointed to the blooming flowers and the opening buds, the lofty trees and beautiful spires of grass, and taught that God made all these in six days and rested on the seventh day and hallowed it. Thus the parents may bind up their lessons of instruction to their children, so that when these children look upon the things of nature, they will call to mind the great Creator of them all. Their thoughts will be carried up to nature’s God-back to the creation of our world, when the foundation of the Sabbath was laid, and all the sons of God shouted for joy. Such are the lessons to be impressed on the minds of our children.” Child Guidance, 533.

“Parents should not allow their children to be out with others in play or amusement. I have found that on the Sabbath-day many are indifferent, and do not know where their children are or what they are doing. Parents can and should give attention to their children, reading to them the most attractive portions of Bible history, educating them to reverence the Sabbath-day, keeping it according to the commandment. This cannot be done if the parents feel no burden to interest their children. But they can make the Sabbath a delight if they will take the proper course. The children can be interested in good reading or in conversation about the salvation of their souls. But they will have to be educated and trained. The natural heart does not love to think of God, of heaven, or of heavenly things. There must be a continual pressing back of the current of worldliness and inclination to evil, and a letting in of heavenly light. It takes line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little.” Review and Herald, April 14, 1885.

What activities are Sabbath-breaking?

“Parents, above everything take care of your children upon the Sabbath. Do not suffer them to violate God’s holy day by playing in the house or out-of-doors. You may just as well break the Sabbath yourselves as to let your children do it, and when you suffer your children to wander about and suffer them to play upon the Sabbath, God looks upon you as Sabbathbreakers.” Review and Herald, September 19, 1854.

Blessings for Sabbath-keepers–What is the promise for those who keep the Sabbath holy?

“All heaven was represented to me as beholding and watching upon the Sabbath those who acknowledge the claims of the fourth commandment and are observing the Sabbath. Angels were marking their interest in, and high regard for, this divine institution. Those who sanctified the Lord God in their hearts by a strictly devotional frame of mind, and who sought to improve the sacred hours in keeping the Sabbath to the best of their ability, and to honor God by calling the Sabbath a delight-these the angels were specially blessing with light and health, and special strength was given them.” The Faith I Live By, 35.

“The Sabbath was God’s sign between Him and His people, and evidence of His kindness, mercy, and love, a token by which His people are distinguished from all false religionists of the world. And God has pledged Himself that He will bless them in their obedience, showing Himself that He is their God, and has taken them into covenant relation with Himself, and that He will fulfill His promise to all that are obedient.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 5, 84.

“Those who will honor the Lord in keeping His Sabbath holy will be blessed of the Lord. There is not more than one in one hundred who do honor to God in keeping His Sabbath from polluting it. The Word of God is not practiced by thousands who profess to be Christians. The looseness of the habits and practices in observing the Sabbath has become a customary thing. God help us to see that great blessings are enfolded in the observance of the Sabbath of the fourth commandment.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 25, 295.

Can God bless those who do not honor His Sabbath?

“God is merciful. His requirements are reasonable, in accordance with the goodness and benevolence of His character. He claims the Sabbath as His own, and will not let His blessing rest upon those who disregard His holy day; yet the Sabbath institution was designed as a blessing to mankind. Man was not made to fit the Sabbath; the Sabbath was made after his creation, to meet the necessities of his nature. The Sabbath should stand before the people in its moral power, answering its original design-to keep in remembrance the living God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth. But the Sabbath has been treated with great disrespect. Men have dared to detract from its dignity; they have ventured to remove the sanctity placed upon it by the Creator Himself.” The Signs of the Times, May 13, 1886.

“He will not pass by unnoticed those who crowd upon His Sabbath, and employ time for their own use which belongs to Him. Some professed Sabbath-keepers will intrude upon the Sabbath in doing those things which should have been done previous to the Sabbath. Such may think they gain a little time; but instead of being advantaged by robbing God of holy time, which He has reserved to Himself, they will lose. The Lord will afflict them for their transgression of the fourth commandment; and that time they thought to gain by intruding upon the Sabbath, will prove a curse to them. God’s prospering hand withdrawn, will cause a decrease in all their possessions, instead of an increase. God will surely punish the transgressor.” The Spirit of Prophecy, vol. 1, 259.

Message to Parents

Recently there have been repeatedly given to me messages of warning and instruction to parents, pointing out the need of diligent effort, and of seeking the Lord with close searching of heart and with earnestness of purpose. God desires us as a people to stand in a position where we shall honor Him; and we can do this only as we humble our hearts before God, bringing ourselves and our families into right relation to Him. We are safe only when we stand under the broad shield of Omnipotence. Only there can God work through us to will and to do of His good pleasure, as we work out our salvation with fear and trembling.

The Lord desires to see both the youth and those older brought into a sacred nearness to Himself. Christ is not here in person, as in the days of His earthly ministry, to teach the youth; but it is the privilege of parents and teachers so to represent Christ in word and character that the light of heaven will shine into the hearts of the youth, and many will be converted to Christ.

Parents have a great and important work before them. With an eye single to the glory of God, they must work to fashion the characters of their children after the perfect pattern. Who is this pattern?—It is the Son of God. Christ came to this world as a human being, that He might by His example teach men and women how to bring their lives into conformity to the will of God. He speaks to fathers and mothers, saying, “Learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Christ is to be the teacher of those who must train the youth. The law of the Lord is to be their rule of life, for this law is to be written on the hearts of the youth, or they will never obey the truth of God’s word. All the will must be yielded to God; He demands entire obedience. If the youth will learn of Him, Christ will impart to them the knowledge and wisdom needed to serve Him acceptably.

Fathers and mothers, how can I find words to describe your great responsibility! By the character you reveal before your children you are educating them to serve God or to serve self. Then offer to heaven your earnest prayers for the aid of the Holy Spirit, that your hearts may be sanctified, and that the course you pursue may honor God and win your children to Christ. It should give to parents a sense of the solemnity and sacredness of their task, when they realize that by careless speech or action they may lead their children astray.

Parents need the guardianship of God and His Word. If they do not heed the counsels of the Word of God, if they do not make the Bible the man of their counsel, the rule of their life, their children will grow careless and will walk in paths of disobedience and unbelief. Christ lived a life of toil and self-denial, and died a death of shame, that He might give an example of the spirit that should inspire and control His followers. As in their home life parents strive to be Christ-like, heavenly influences will be shed abroad in the lives of their family.

In every Christian home God should be honored by the morning and evening sacrifices of praise and prayer. Every morning and evening earnest prayers should ascend to God for His blessing and guidance. Will the Lord of heaven pass by such homes, and leave no blessing there?—Nay, verily. Angels hear the offering of praise and the prayer of faith, and they bear the petitions to Him who ministers in the sanctuary for His people, and pleads His merits in their behalf. True prayer takes hold upon Omnipotence, and gives men the victory. Upon his knees the Christian obtains strength to resist temptation.

As laborers together with God, parents, you are to carry out His plans for your children. This will call for continual watch-care, unceasing effort; for the enemy of souls is on the alert to lead them astray. So long as you live, your responsibility for them will not end. Your interest in their spiritual welfare must be deep and constant. But by your ministry for them, in cooperation with the Spirit of God, they may be led to see God’s purpose for them, and to accept His will for the disposition of their lives. Who can estimate the value of faithful work in the home? In the midst of difficulties and unceasing care, it is the privilege of parents to look forward to the joys of eternity, and by the eye of faith behold the reward of the faithful.

Until every member of your family is united with you in the faith, do not feel that you can relax your efforts. Through the pleasures and ambitions of the world, the enemy is working to draw the youth into his ranks, and he has much success. As we approach nearer to the close of time, he will invent every possible attraction to draw their minds into worldly channels. At this time we need a pure and undefiled religion. And if parents will make the training of their children their chief work, God will give them increased ability.

God calls us to come out from the world and be separate. “Ye cannot serve God and mammon,” Christ declared. If we are indulging habits that unfit us for a place in the kingdom of heaven, let us in Christ’s strength overcome these habits. By our example of surrender to the will of God, we are to teach our children that if they would inherit eternal life, they must consecrate their lives to Him. If we share the joys of the redeemed in the future life, we must give no place in this life to foolishness and pride and vanity. We are to be overcomers over everything that wars against the principles of the kingdom of God.

We need to seek for a true understanding of how to train our children for the future life. At this time when wickedness is constantly increasing, we cannot afford to be careless or negligent. Our children are God’s property. Shall we let them depart from the paths of righteousness, and make no effort to save them? They have eternal life to win; eternal death to shun; and it is ours to help them to choose the good and resist the evil. When they learn to welcome the spirit of Christ into their hearts, the salvation of God will be seen in their lives.

It is sometimes essential to correct children; when this is necessary, do it in love. Show them that you punish them, not because you like to, but because you fear not to do so, lest they continue to cherish evils in their lives. Parents and children need the softening, subduing influence of the Holy Spirit of God. Often we do more to provoke than to win. Let your methods be of a character that they will create love. Love begets love. Do not scold. This will work counter to the results which God desires to see accomplished. An exhibition of passion on your part will never cure your child’s evil temper. Talk kindly with the children. Pray with them, and teach them how to pray for themselves. They will not forget these experiences, and the blessing of God will rest upon such instruction, leading the hearts of the children to Christ. The Lord wants you to lay hold of eternal things, and to have an experience in Christian development that will be marked by those with whom you associate. It is your privilege to give to the world a representation of the transforming grace of Christ that will cause them to wonder.

When children realize that their parents are trying to help them, they will bend their energies in the right direction. And to the children who have right instruction in the home, the advantages of our schools will be greater than to those who are allowed to grow up without spiritual help at home.

Do not be turned away from your God-given work by the fleeting and unsatisfying pleasures that the world can offer. Parents have no time to spend in parties of pleasure while their children are left to the temptations of the enemy. Say to those who invite you to join them in worldly pleasure, God has given me the work of training my children for eternity. I want them to stand by my side to help me, and I want to help them to accomplish all that they are capable of accomplishing through faith in Christ and His Word. I want to take my children with me to the city of God, to be crowned with immortal life. I want them to sing His praises in the earth made new. I cannot serve the world and accomplish this work.

Do not neglect your children for visitors. Your children should not be left to themselves because company has come to your home. Let your friends understand that your first attention belongs to your children, and that you cannot engage in pleasures that will divert your mind from the interest you should exercise in their behalf. You cannot afford to let any time pass unimproved. You cannot afford to let your children go hither and thither without guardianship or control. The solemn work given to you to do can be neglected only at eternal loss, but the reward for faithful effort is greater than human minds can compute. In winning heaven your children win an inheritance whose value is above that of any earthly possession. Great will be your satisfaction and reward in the future life when you see your children enjoying eternal pleasures, which might have been denied them, had you by the indulgence of self in this life withheld the advantages to be gained by an education in right principles and practice.

Do not spend your time in chatting on the trifling subjects of dress and fashion. Talk of the heavenly dress, the spotless robe of Christ’s righteousness, which all must wear who stand in confidence before the throne of God. Talk to your friends of the truth and the requirements of God’s Word. As you make use of the knowledge you have, God will give you increased light.

We are facing events that closely precede the coming of the Lord. At this time it behooves us to be faithful, to guard well our words and actions. Let us not trifle with eternal realities. Those who would be prepared for the coming of Christ must make diligent work for eternity. They have no time to lose; for the end of all things is at hand. Let heart and mind be sanctified by the truths of the Word. Give evidence that you are preparing for the solemn events of eternity.

Will fathers and mothers work wisely for their children, helping them to form righteous characters? You with your children are to prepare to graduate to the higher grades of the school above. Then educate yourselves daily away from every tendency and practise that would unfit you to pass the test of the great examination day. Let it be seen by those with whom you associate that Christ is your pattern in all things.

Let the instruction you give your children be simple, and be sure that it is clearly understood. The lessons that you learn from the Word you are to present to their young minds so plainly that they will understand. By simple lessons drawn from the Word of God and their own experience you may teach them how to conform their lives to the highest standard. They may learn, even in childhood and youth, to live thoughtful, earnest lives, that will yield a rich harvest of good.

As united rulers of the home kingdom, let the father and the mother show kindness and courtesy to each other. Never should their deportment militate against the precepts they seek to inculcate. Parents, be in earnest in seeking to perfect in your children true wisdom,—the wisdom of righteousness. If you would do this, you must set them an example worthy of imitation. Should you be remiss in this respect, and your children fail in meeting the standard of the Word of God, what will you answer when they stand before the bar of heaven as witness to your neglect? How terrible will be your realization of loss and failure as you face the Judge of all the earth with the fruits of your unfaithfulness before you!

I cannot find words to describe to you the scenes of the judgment. I cannot represent to you how terrible in that day will be the disappointment of those who in this life have chosen to follow their own will instead of the will and way of God. The low standard of the world is not Christ’s standard. The world’s measurement of righteousness is not His measurement. Those only who in their probationary time use their capabilities to honor and glorify God will hear from His lips the benediction and welcome: “Well done, good and faithful servant:…enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”

To every father and mother God has given a work in soul-saving that they cannot throw upon others. In this work it is their privilege to draw from the Word of God instruction that will give help in every time of need. For all who make it their life-work to seek for the righteousness of Christ there awaits a welcome to the city of God, where they may join the song of triumph and praise, that the battle of life is over. O that we might as a people appreciate more fully the Word which teaches us the way of this wonderful salvation!

Taken from two Review and Herald articles of the same title, published on February 2, 1912 and February 8, 1912.