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Remember Lot’s Wife

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There are a few verses in the Bible that consist of fewer than five words:

Jesus wept. John 11:35
Quench not the Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 5:19
Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Remember Lot’s wife. Luke 17:32

I want to study with you Luke 17:32: “Remember Lot’s wife.”

We find the story of Lot in the book of Genesis, but it is spoken of a number of times throughout the Bible. In the account found in Luke, Jesus was telling His disciples what to expect at the end of time, and He said, “Remember Lot’s wife.”

It is an astonishing thing that the few things in the Bible that God calls upon us to “Remember” are the very things that mankind tends to forget. For instance, the fourth commandment begins with the word “Remember,” yet most of the world today believe this commandment was done away with at the cross, or that the seventh-day Sabbath was just for the Jews, or that it doesn’t really matter what day is kept as the Sabbath, just so long as I worship God on one day.

But God said to remember Lot’s wife, so we should go back to the Old Testament and look at the Biblical account of Lot and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah to learn why He said it.

Haran, Lot’s father, died, leaving Lot fatherless. Abraham, his uncle, assumed the role of father to him, and when Abraham left Ur of the Chaldees and ultimately went to the promised land, Lot was with him.

Early in Lot’s life, he made a choice that proved to be a very serious mistake. Many people make some of the most serious mistakes of their lives when they are young, and the consequences can follow them throughout their life. However, Lot’s mistake didn’t just affect his own life, it also changed the course of world history.

“The wife of Lot was a selfish, irreligious woman, and her influence was exerted to separate her husband from Abraham. But for her, Lot would not have remained in Sodom, deprived of the counsel of the wise, God-fearing patriarch. The influence of his wife and the associations of that wicked city would have led him to apostatize from God had it not been for the faithful instruction he had early received from Abraham. The marriage of Lot and his choice of Sodom for a home were the first links in a chain of events fraught with evil to the world for many generations.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 174

Lot made a poor choice of a marriage partner, but if he had asked the following three questions, he might never have married her.

  1. Is the man or woman I’m planning to marry a proud person?

Marriage to a proud person is a guarantee that you will have trouble in your marriage. Study the book of Proverbs.

  1. Is the man or woman I’m planning to marry a selfish person?

Mrs. White says that Lot’s wife was a selfish woman. No man or woman should ever consider marriage to a person who gives clear evidence of a selfish character. Such an act guarantees sadness in your life, for only an unselfish person can bring happiness to a marriage partner.

  1. Is the man or woman I’m planning to marry an irreligious person?

Mrs. White says that Lot’s wife was not only selfish but also irreligious. This is how the Bible describes an irreligious person:

“If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle their tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.” James 1:26

Mrs. White has this to say about the quarrelsome faultfinder: “I feel an intense interest regarding every faultfinder; for I know that a quarrelsome disposition will never find entrance into the city of God. Quarrel with yourself, but with no one else; and then be converted.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 7, 271

Just imagine being married to someone who cannot control their tongue!

“No one who fears God can without danger connect himself with one who fears Him not. ‘Can two walk together, except they be agreed?’ Amos 3:3.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 174

The marriage of Christians with the ungodly is forbidden in the Bible. The Lord’s direction is, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

Lot made a poor choice and married a proud, selfish, and irreligious woman, but he could not leave her, so he remained faithful to her. (See 1 Corinthians 7.)

Abraham and Lot had large herds of cattle between them, and soon, the Bible tells us, strife rose up. This strife was between Lot’s herdsmen and Abraham’s herdsmen over the pasture land and watering places for the cattle.

“Contention among God’s people is offensive in His sight.” The Signs of the Times, August 19, 1880

“Charity does not rejoice in evil, revenge does. … Avoid every bitter word, every unkind action. Love as brethren; be kind; be courteous. Do not scandalize the truth by bitter envying and contention for such is the spirit of the world.” Ibid., February 14, 1895

It became apparent that a solution must be found. Having a great deal of land, Abraham pointed out that there was no need for fighting, and offered to Lot the ability to choose where he would like to set up his home. Lot chose the good pasture land with plenty of water that lay closest to Sodom. But was this the only choice Lot could have made, the one the Lord would have wanted for him? I’m sure it wasn’t.

Sadly, pride held sway in Lot’s side of the camp, and he was pleased with the obvious benefits of the land. Sodom was a prosperous city, and living near it helped Lot to continue to prosper. It also pleased Lot’s wife.

Abraham, as Lot’s senior, and, acting as his father, could have disallowed Lot from taking that part of the land. Abraham had every right to make the first choice, and whatever was left would have been Lot’s. Mrs. White distinctly says that Abraham was responsible for Lot’s financial success and prosperity. But Abraham was a gracious person, and even though by right he could have made the first choice, he told Lot, “Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren.” Genesis 13:8. Instead, he gave Lot the first choice, and because he and his wife were proud and selfish, Lot looked around, saw how fine the plain of Jordan was and chose Sodom.

“Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent toward Sodom.” Verse 12

It appears that Lot didn’t at first live in Sodom, but he was very close by and it wasn’t long before he moved his family right into the city. The Bible doesn’t tell us how many children Lot had, though we know he had at least four daughters, but there is no record that he had any sons.

Sodom was filled with wealthy, corrupt, and sexually-perverse people. Homosexuality was an accepted practice with the inhabitants of the city, but as far as we know, none of Lot’s family was involved in those practices.

Homosexuality is not our subject here. However, we need to understand that we can be as guilty as those of Sodom—become like the Sodomite—if we involve ourselves in sexual activities that are contrary to the guidance of the Bible and Inspiration.

Do not Submit Your Body

“Any youth who would submit her body to be handled by a man is in no way fit for the kingdom of heaven. All this vile practice and commonness is what is ruining our youth. …

“These are the very sins which corrupted Sodom. Their evil practices did not come all at once. First one man and woman stupefied themselves by unholy polluted habits. Then as the inhabitants settled in Sodom … [and] continued to multiply, these ministers of sin continued in educating them in their own defiling practices … until Sodom became renowned for its pollutions. ” Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, 125, 126

We must be vigilant that we do not allow ourselves, particularly the young, to participate in this sodomitish practice of petting and handling one another outside the bonds of marriage, else we cannot enter heaven.

Forsake Uncleanness

Reading again from the Spirit of Prophecy: “Not one particle of sodomitish impurity will escape the wrath of God at the execution of the judgment. Those who do not repent of and forsake all uncleanness will fall with the wicked. …

“Handbills on which indecent pictures are printed are posted up along our streets to allure our eyes and deprave the morals. These presentations are of such a character as to stir up the basest passions of the human heart through corrupt imaginings. These corrupt imaginings are followed by defiling practices like those in which the Sodomites indulged. … Our youth will be defiled, their thoughts degraded, and their souls polluted unless they are barricaded with the truth.” Ibid., 119, 120

Sodom was filled with portrayals of indecent and corrupting activities; and it continues today on billboards, lighted displays, in posters, magazines, movies, and TV shows.

A Stylish Appearance

“Far greater pains should be taken to instruct them so that they shall have beautiful characters and keep the way of the Lord than to have them make a stylish appearance, taking the way of the Sodomites.” Pamphlet 096 – Testimonies on the Case of Elder E. P. Daniels (1890), 16

So what is wrong with a stylish appearance? Too much of what makes up a stylish appearance is designed—intentionally—to awaken sensuality and sexual passions, and if we wear any kind of garment or adornment that arouses sexual passions, we are following the way of the Sodomites.

By Withholding, You are Holier

In the first centuries following Christ’s ascension, the devil introduced the practice of celibacy among the clergy. This practice put forth that if you were celibate, then you were more holy than married people. The practice of celibacy continues within the Catholic church even today. (See History of Sacerdotal Celibacy in the Christian Church by Henry Charles Lea.)

We can never fully imagine how much homosexuality, fornication, adultery, and all other kinds of lewd practices have resulted in the world as a result of this teaching.

Growing up in Sodom

“I have had a sharp pointed testimony for the youth, and I am pained to the heart to see the little modesty and real, good, decent behavior in the young. [There are] young girls so forward as to make advances to young men; so destitute of Christlike humility and elevation of character. The young girls [are] flirting with young men, sitting in meeting and exchanging notes with them at the very time I am presenting a message from God to the people.

“The young women make advances to the young men and get up a flirtation with them. Their forwardness, their common, cheap talk and ways, are offensive to God, and I told them last Sabbath that they were fast becoming like the Sodomites.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 19, 218, 219

Sodom was a place where the young people were flirtatious with each other and spoke common, cheap words.

“Their young men and women think only of how they can get into each other’s society and break down all the barriers of reserve and true decorum. It is a pitiful condition of things. …

“Boys flirting with the girls, and the girls flirting with the boys, seems to be a passion which destroys common sense … and leaves the souls of youth, who might use their talents to the glory of God, as destitute of the Spirit of God as the hills of Gilboa … .

“Unless the moral taste is refined, unless Christ becomes an abiding principle in the soul, but few of the youth will ever see heaven.” Ibid., 219, 220

It is a dangerous thing to grow up in Sodom. Only three people escaped the destruction of Sodom alive; only a few people from the large cities of the world today will escape their Sodom-like influence. We must get out of Sodom. It would be best to physically remove ourselves from Sodom’s influence. It may not be possible at this time, but definitely we must turn our backs from its lifestyle and wicked influences.

“Lot could have preserved his family from many evils had he not made his home in the wicked, polluted city. All that Lot and his family did in Sodom could have been done by them even if they had lived in a place some distance from the city.” Last Day Events, 96

“Enoch walked with God, and yet he did not live in the midst of any city polluted with any kind of violence and wickedness, as did Lot in Sodom.

“He [Enoch] did not make his abode with the wicked.” Maranatha, 184

“Cities and even country towns are becoming like Sodom and Gomorrah, and like the world as it was in the days of Noah. The training of the youth in those days was after the same order as the children are being educated and trained in this age, to love excitement, to glorify themselves, to follow the imagination of their own evil hearts.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 12, 89

“Those who will take their families into the country place them where they have fewer temptations.” The Adventist Home, 143

Leaving Sodom and moving to the country, if you can, is a good idea. But physically leaving a place doesn’t remove it or its attractions from the mind and heart. It isn’t enough to take your body out of Sodom, you have to remove Sodom from your mind and heart as well; and there’s the rub.

With so much electronic media that can reach even isolated places out in the country, you don’t have to be in Sodom to continue enjoying all its pleasures via radio, television, or the Internet. But if it is your desire to truly be free of Sodom, in every way, then you have some work to do, because if you want to get out of Sodom, you must first get Sodom out of your mind.

There is a principle found in God’s law regarding how we relate to our parents. In the fifth commandment, the Lord said, and of course this would apply to children of any age, that we should honor our father and mother.

One of the greatest problems for Sodom was that they had lost all concept of the principle of honor. They had no respect for themselves nor anyone else. If they wanted something, they took it, even if they had no right to it. But the principle of honor is part of the ten commandments. We dishonor God and our fellow man when we fail to obey these commandments. And if we want to be truly rid of Sodom in our minds and hearts, then we must sacrifice everything to honor and obey God’s law, seeking always to do His will, and to honor the lives of all around us. If not, we will never be a part of the kingdom of heaven.

Out of Time

Looking at the last night for Sodom, we see that angels came to town, and Lot being very hospitable, invited them to his home. There he prepared a meal, but before they could retire for the night, the men of the city gathered around the house demanding that Lot should, “Bring them [the angels] out to us that we may know them carnally (have sexual relations with them).” Genesis 19:5

What was Lot’s response? He offered his two virgin daughters to these men in an attempt to keep them from committing homosexual acts with his guests. He obviously was under a lot of pressure, afraid no doubt, that he and everyone in the house might be killed.

Lot thought he was just entertaining two men who had journeyed to Sodom, but he soon discovered that his guests were far from ordinary men. The angels, in response to the demands of the men of Sodom, struck them with blindness. The Bible tells us that the men then wandered around outside unable to find the door until they became weary from the effort.

The angels then told Lot their purpose for visiting Sodom. “For we will destroy this place, because the outcry against them has grown great before the face of the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it.” Verse 13

Lot went to warn his daughters and their husbands telling them of the mission of the angels and the soon-coming destruction of Sodom. They laughed and called him insane. “Lot returned sorrowfully to his home … .” The Truth About Angels, 76. The angels instructed Lot, his wife, and remaining two daughters to leave Sodom. But Lot hesitated. “Stupified with sorrow, he lingered, loath to depart. But for the angels of God, they would all have perished in the ruin of Sodom. The heavenly messengers took him and his wife and daughters by the hand, and led them out of the city.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 160

Why did Lot delay? We could say because he didn’t want to leave his children who did not want to leave Sodom, and that would be true. But a whole lot of what made Lot who he was at that moment was there in Sodom. He was influential and wealthy. His wife and children were happy there. Lot didn’t just live in Sodom, Sodom lived in him, and a decision to leave meant having to leave Sodom behind in every way. He would have to give up everything, and he would be asking his wife and children to do the same.

The angels had to take Lot and his family from the city by force and, once outside the city, they left them to return to their work of destruction, instructing Lot and his family to flee to the mountains and not to look back. But Lot pleaded that they could go instead to one of the small towns nearby. He had lived in the city for so long he was afraid to be in the mountains, afraid of wild beasts and snakes, and likely, the inhospitable aspect of living in the wild.

Because Lot hesitated and was reluctant to follow the angels’ instructions quickly and to the letter, it cost his wife her life. Because he lingered and was afraid, his wife manifested unbelief and she disobeyed a direct, divine command from the Lord Himself. She looked back toward Sodom; and immediately she became a pillar of salt.

Friend, we are living in a world that has become a second Sodom. Will you get out alive? Will your spouse and children get out alive? The decisions that you make now, each and every day, will determine if you will. It is not enough to get your body out of Sodom; you have to get Sodom out of your mind and heart.

The Great Controversy tells us that when God delivers His people, they will have given up all for Christ. How much? Everything. From a worldly point of view, all the saints are going to be very poor.

You see, when Jesus comes, this will all be burned up—houses, cars, bank accounts, stocks, bonds, businesses—everything. The only thing that the saints will take from this world to the next is their character; a character free of Sodom, “a character formed according to the divine likeness.” Christ’s Object Lessons, 332

“Lot had too much of a lingering spirit. Let us not be like him. The same voice that warned Lot to leave Sodom bids us, ‘Come out from among them, and be ye separate … and touch not the unclean.’ Those who obey this warning will find a refuge. Let every man be wide awake for himself, and try to save his family. Let him gird himself for the work. God will reveal from point to point what to do next.

“Hear the voice of God through the apostle Paul, ‘Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God that worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.’ Lot trod the plain with unwilling and tardy steps. He had so long associated with evil workers that he could not see his peril until his wife stood on the plain a pillar of salt forever.” Country Living, 6, 7

Remember Lot’s wife.

Pastor John J. Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by email at: historic@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

Health – Sabbath Activities

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The object of the Sabbath was that all mankind might be benefited. Man was not made to fit the Sabbath; for the Sabbath was made after the creation of man, to meet his necessities. … He [God] set apart that special day for man to rest from his labor, that, as he should look upon the earth beneath and the heavens above, he might reflect that God made all these in six days and rested upon the seventh; and that, as he should behold the tangible proofs of God’s infinite wisdom, his heart might be filled with love and reverence for his Maker.” Testimonies, Vol. 2, 582

Have you wondered what you can do with your children on Sabbath afternoon, activities that follow Bible and Spirit of Prophecy counsel?

When I was a child, my mother would play Sabbath Bible games with me, we read together the Little Friend I brought home from Sabbath School, and we played piano duets. At the close of Sabbath, we would kneel together and thank the Lord for His Sabbath day and the blessings He had given us during its hours.

Child Guidance suggests reading to and with your children or creating a home reading circle where the family can come together and every member shares in the reading of a spiritual story or Bible study.

Acts of service such as visiting the sick, shut-ins, and those in care facilities, bringing food, flowers, smiles, and songs give children and youth the opportunity to do what Jesus did in His personal ministry.

“The pleasure of doing good to others imparts a glow to the feelings which flashes through the nerves, quickens the circulation of the blood, and induces mental and physical health.” My Life Today, 246

Next to the Bible, nature is to be our great lesson book. It is full of the knowledge of God, teeming with divine instruction. It has a voice that sings of the majesty and love of God. On every leaf and stone, in the earth, sea, and sky God’s name is written. The glory of God can be seen in every flower and tree, and every living creature. And though marred by sin, the earth and all that lives on it and dwells in it, still rings with a beauty that man can hardly fathom.

Children should be encouraged to search out in nature the objects that illustrate Bible teachings. Nature walks are a good way to commune with God, and spend time in the sunshine and fresh air.

The following table lists suggestions that can be used as clues for a Sabbath scavenger hunt during a nature walk or as a Bible game around the table at home.

“Oh, there is health and peace in doing the will of our Heavenly Father. …

“Pure and undefiled religion is not a sentiment, but the doing of works of mercy and love. This religion is necessary to health and happiness. It enters the polluted soul temple, and with a scourge drives out the sinful intruders. Taking the throne, it consecrates all by its presence, illuminating the heart. … It opens the windows of the soul heavenward, letting in the sunshine of God’s love. With it comes serenity and composure. Physical, mental, and moral strength increase, because the atmosphere of heaven, as a living, active agency, fills the soul.” My Life Today, 246

“Our heavenly Father desires through the observance of the Sabbath to preserve among men a knowledge of Himself. He desires that the Sabbath shall direct our minds to Him as the true and living God, and that through knowing Him we may have life and peace.” Testimonies, Vol. 6, 349

“And it shall come to pass that from one new moon to another, and from one Sabbath to another, all flesh shall come to worship before Me.” Isaiah 66:23

 

1 These clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12
2 What does the Bible say about this flower? Luke 12:27
3 This fades, but the word of God does not. Isaiah 40:8
4 Even the smallest seed can grow and become what? Matthew 13:32
5 These shall break forth with song. Isaiah 55:12
6 This passes and is gone. Psalm 103:16
7 These do not sow or reap, but the Father still feeds them. Matthew 6:26
8 Evildoers shall be cut down like what? Psalm 37:2
9 Jesus gave His life for His what? John 10:11
10 God has what upon a thousand hills? Psalm 50:10
11 False prophets are described as wearing sheep’s clothing, but what are they really? Matthew 7:15
12 If we look up, what do we see? Job 35:5
13 This rises and sets every day. Ecclesiastes 1:5
14 This falls on both righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45
15 Jesus knows the number of stars that we see in the night sky (Psalm 147:4); and He knows what else? Matthew 10:30
16 Jonah was swallowed by and was three days in the belly of a great what? Jonah 1:17
17 Jesus performed a great miracle with five loaves and what else? Matthew 14:17
18 Jesus says that if we will follow Him, He will make us what? Matthew 4:19
19 Those who hope in the Lord will soar like what? Isaiah 40:31
20 If God cares so much for all His creations and creatures in nature, how much does the Bible say He cares for us? John 3:16

 

Give Up Everything that Weighs You Down

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Let’s talk habits. Do you know someone who has a bad habit? Do you have one? Or let’s ask the question in a different way: Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a bad habit? This subject has a universal application to both adults and children. Most of our bad habits are developed in early childhood and continue to affect us throughout the rest of our lives.

Perhaps there comes a time in people’s lives, after earnest evaluation, when they realize they don’t want to keep a particular bad habit. They want to make a change but find that they are locked into that habit because habits are very difficult to change.

Here’s a simple example: What would happen if I were to climb to the very top of the roof of a building and then jump off? Someone might say, “Well, if you prayed hard enough, maybe you wouldn’t get hurt too bad.” Is that a reasonable expectation?

We do this all the time. We violate certain physical or spiritual laws and then expect the Lord to deliver us from the resulting pain and suffering. But God cannot answer this prayer, because He would be condoning the violation of the very laws that He has established. So, when we study about how to deal with bad habits, and study the laws that are involved, then we can know how to escape them.

And, friends, there is an escape. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, into this world because we were in bondage to something that we could not free ourselves from, and Jesus said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, … He has sent Me … to proclaim liberty to the captives and … to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” Luke 4:18

This is, in part, liberty and freedom from our guilt. But it is also liberty and freedom from our bad habits. Jesus came to set you free from your bad habits.

Spiritual, mental, and physical components are all involved in this escape, and in the forming, maintaining, and deliverance from them or we’ll never be free from them.

Let’s start with the spiritual and mental components and then we’ll take up the physical component.

Just how did we develop bad habits when we were children?

Children develop bad habits because their minds are not trained. As children grow up in their parental home, parents are to cultivate, train, and develop the good habits a child should have to lead a healthy, spiritual life.

Children should not be idle. A busy child has no spare time to engage in bad habits. Children without anything to do spend more time getting into trouble, and bad habits are the results. This has been a great curse in society.

Children need to have a balance of physical and mental activity. Parents must consider if their children are occupied enough to keep them busy all day.

Inappropriate associations can also result in bad habits. Who are your children’s friends? Do they love and obey their parents? Do they love and keep the ten commandments? Associates who are immoral or idle will encourage the development of bad habits in your children.

“With the present plan of education the door of temptation is open to youth. Although they generally have too many hours of study, they have many hours without anything to do. These leisure hours are frequently spent in a reckless manner. The knowledge of bad habits is communicated from one to another and vice is greatly increased.” Testimonies, Vol. 3, 148

Parents need to be aware of who their children go to school with and with whom they spend a lot of time. As parents, we need to place our children in God’s hands, asking Him to tell us where we should send our children to school and to protect them from the things that they will learn, see, and hear that could have a negative effect on their future.

Neglect also facilitates the development of children’s bad habits. When parents are so busy that they really don’t have time to raise their children, then the children are left to fend for themselves, and bad habits are sure to be the result.

Our home life should be one of order. There should be a schedule that tells children when to get up and when to go to bed, when to eat, when to do home chores and school work, and when to play.

So, these are three ways that children develop bad habits. What about those of us who now are adults with bad habits that we can’t seem to do anything about? The Bible clearly states the condition we are in.

“Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to doing evil.” Jeremiah 13:23

“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. … But no man can tame the tongue, it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” James 3:6, first part, 8

How many people can change the color of their skin? None. Can the leopard change its spots? No. Who can tame the tongue? No one. The Bible is saying that we have a habit, and though we do not want to keep this habit any longer, we are finding it impossible to change.

The first thing we must understand about firmly-ingrained habits is that there is no one who can break or change them. This is one of the reasons people become so discouraged when they try to “kick” their habits, or make resolutions that they don’t keep.

Someone might think that if it’s an impossibility for a man to break his bad habits, then why are we even talking about it?

We want to talk about it because what we need to know most of all is that there is a way, a miraculous power, that will aid us in overcoming our bad habits. That way is Jesus. Changing anything in our lives just won’t happen without Divine help. It is only after He comes into our lives that we can then be set free from the things that hold us captive.

“When the soul surrenders itself to Christ, a new power takes possession of the new heart. A change is wrought which man can never accomplish for himself. It is a supernatural work, bringing a supernatural element into human nature. The soul that is yielded to Christ becomes His own fortress, which He holds in a revolted world, and He intends that no authority shall be known in it but His own. A soul thus kept in possession by the heavenly agencies is impregnable to the assaults of Satan. But unless we do yield ourselves to the control of Christ, we shall be dominated by the wicked one. We must inevitably be under the control of the one or the other of the two great powers that are contending for the supremacy of the world. It is not necessary for us deliberately to choose the service of the kingdom of darkness in order to come under its dominion. We have only to neglect to ally ourselves with the kingdom of light. If we do not cooperate with the heavenly agencies, Satan will take possession of the heart, and will make it his abiding place. The only defense against evil is the indwelling of Christ in the heart through faith in His righteousness.” The Desire of Ages, 324

What is the only defense against evil? The indwelling of Christ in the heart. How do we receive the indwelling of Christ in our hearts? By yielding ourselves completely to Him.

“Unless we become vitally connected with God, we can never resist the unhallowed effects of self-love, self-indulgence, and temptation to sin. We may leave off many bad habits, for the time we may part company with Satan; but without a vital connection with God, through the surrender of ourselves to Him moment by moment, we shall be overcome. Without a personal acquaintance with Christ, and a continual communion, we are at the mercy of the enemy, and shall do his bidding in the end.” Ibid.

Without this vital connection with Jesus, unless He is dwelling in the heart by faith, we will be under the control of the devil, and even if we leave off many of our bad habits, he will still be our master.

A union with the Divine still requires supreme human effort.

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” Philippians 2:12

There are two mistakes that most people make. Some want to do it all themselves until they find out it’s impossible to do alone. Or others, realizing it is impossible, decide to just depend on the Lord and let Him do it all. They don’t even try.

God is going to do a miraculous work in each of us, but we have a work of our own to do in this partnership with Him. We see that in Philippians 2:12. But verse 13 makes it clearer just what God intends to do in our lives.

“For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” I wish we had a stronger English word for “to do.” In Greek, this means to energize or to empower. You could read it like this: “… works in you to will and to empower [you] for His good pleasure.” God wants to give you the power to overcome your bad habits, and then with that power at your disposal, you do your part of the work with fear and trembling. To overcome the wickedness in our lives, it takes two: our complete surrender and God’s miraculous power.

“To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily.” Colossians 1:29

The Greek word Paul uses that we translate as striving, agonizomai, means to fight or to contend or to struggle. It is the word from which we get the English word agonize. This is an all-in struggle. Then the words “works in” mean, just like in Philippians 2:13, energizes or empowers.

We can struggle, fight, agonize over our bad habits. We can desperately labor and strive for our entire life to be free from them, but unless we cooperate with God so that He can work with great power a change in our hearts, we will fail.

I am reminded of the somewhat famous quote by Mark Twain regarding his smoking habit, “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

God doesn’t want me to give up a habit only to repeatedly pick it back up again, never truly gaining the victory over it. He wants to give me the power to be completely and fully done with it. Only then will it never have control over my life again.

Moving to the physical effects of our bad habits, Mrs. White writes:

“Any habit or practice which will weaken the nerve and brain power or the physical strength disqualifies for the exercise of the next grace which comes in after temperance—patience.” Our High Calling, 69

“For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths. His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, and he is caught in the cords of his sin. … He shall die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.” Proverbs 5:21–23

This text shows us how a person becomes bound up with his bad habits and can’t get loose. He may pray and pray, but simply cannot get free of them. He begins to think that there is something wrong with Christianity, but the truth is, it’s not the religion at all, rather he is violating certain physical laws that make it impossible for him to overcome his bad habits.

In order to overcome, we must first have willpower. The prefrontal cortex of the brain, right behind the forehead, is responsible for our “I will, I won’t, and I want powers.” A more medical explanation of the responsibilities of this area of the brain is that our abstract thinking, thought analysis, and keeping our behavior in check all occur here. The left side of the prefrontal cortex handles the “I will” power, which helps us start and stick to things that aren’t so much fun or are stressful. The right side handles the “I won’t” power, which keeps us from acting on every impulse or craving that we have. And the center, lower area is responsible for the “I want” power, which helps us keep track of our goals and desires.

There are two facets of willpower: yes and no. Exercising our willpower isn’t always about saying no. It is just as important to use our willpower to say yes for the right things as it is to say no to the bad things.

Source: positivepsychology.com/psychology-of-willpower

Now let’s consider morality. Do you know what part of the brain is responsible for our morality? We’ll call it our conscience. The prefrontal cortex. Morality is the ability to determine right from wrong.

Spirituality is also located in the prefrontal cortex. It is from here that you talk to God and ask Him to help you.

But what if something has impaired your willpower and skewed your ability to make right decisions? Medical research shows us that when a person’s frontal lobe is damaged, he or she can completely change. A very religious person might no longer have an interest in church, religion, or the Bible at all. A person who was very conscientious and always doing what was right might begin to engage in very questionable behavior. But what if there was nothing wrong with the frontal lobe? Could our diet, a lack of sleep, fresh air, water, or appropriate exercise impair our ability to make sound decisions? Or what if we clouded our brains with alcohol, drugs, sugar, and other harmful substances? Anything that impairs the function of the frontal lobe will make it difficult to exercise our willpower to overcome any bad habit.

The reason people today are having so much trouble overcoming bad habits, much more so than they had 100 years ago, is because we are violating certain physical laws that are impairing the function of our frontal lobe.

Let’s look at some of the things that can impair your ability to exercise your willpower.

Drug use—illicit drugs, many prescription drugs, and social drugs. Social drugs include caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.

Introducing these substances into your body is like shooting yourself in the foot if you are trying to overcome a bad habit. They numb the frontal lobe and interfere with your ability to utilize your willpower.

Diet—is vitally important. Refined sugar must be eliminated and foods containing unrefined carbohydrates—starchy foods like whole grains and potatoes—should be included. Animal foods contain arachidonic acid which has been proven to harm the frontal lobe.

Mrs. White writes: “A meat diet changes the disposition and strengthens the animalism. We are composed of what we eat, and eating much flesh will diminish intellectual activity. Students would accomplish much more in their studies if they never tasted meat. When the animal part of the human agent is strengthened by meat eating, the intellectual powers diminish proportionately.” Counsels on Diet and Foods, 389

Medical research has shown that the brain functions better when dietary calories and the amount of food consumed are restricted.

If your diet consists of things that are not good for the health of the body, particularly the frontal lobe of your brain, then how will that affect your ability to overcome a bad habit?

Hypnosis—does not allow you to overcome anything. A person cannot overcome any bad habit using hypnosis because it bypasses the frontal lobe and utilizes other areas of the brain, placing them under the control of someone or something else. People who are in a hypnotic-like state are not in control of their own willpower.

There are two things that are done in this world, including in the church, that make it impossible for us to overcome our bad habits: watching television and movies and listening to rock music. There is significant medical data to support that both of these activities produce a hypnotic-like state. It is not a state of complete hypnosis because you are able to communicate and participate, but your brain is overwhelmed by the images and sounds that you see and hear.

All these things make it impossible for you to overcome your bad habits. They violate certain physical and spiritual laws that God has put in place, and He cannot help you overcome your bad habits if you choose to keep them in your life.

However, if you choose to lay all these things aside and come to the Lord for the power He is waiting to give you to overcome your bad habits, He will do it. There is no other way for you to succeed.

Somebody might think that it simply takes too much effort to give up bad habits. But if you are looking to follow Jesus, longing to one day join the saints in heaven for eternity, then you cannot hold onto these worldly things. Listen to what Jesus says: “So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:33

Friends, are there things in your life that hinder you from overcoming your bad habits? Are you willing to remove everything from your life that stands between you and God? It’s a sacrifice, I know, but it is the price of eternal life.

Claim His promise of power, cooperate, struggle, contend, and you can overcome all your bad habits by His grace and power.

Pastor John J. Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by email at: historic@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

What God Has Joined Together

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“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Matthew 19:6

What God puts together, man is not to divide. There are some things that belong together because God has put them together.

We are in a world and generation where everything that God has put together the devil is trying to tear apart. He aims at the home, the church, anything that God has joined together. He says separate, and he has a million imps at work to segregate, fragment, decimate, and cause disunion and anarchy—that is his program. “What God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Let’s look at some things that God has put together. “Lord, You have been favorable to Your land; You have brought back the captivity of Jacob. You have forgiven the iniquity of Your people; You have covered all their sin. You have taken away all Your wrath; You have turned from the fierceness of Your anger.

“Restore us, O God of our salvation, and cause Your anger toward us to cease. Will You be angry with us forever? Will You prolong Your anger to all generations? Will You not revive us again, that Your people may rejoice in You? Show us Your mercy, Lord, and grant us Your salvation.

“I will hear what God the Lord will speak, for He will speak peace to His people and to His saints; but let them not turn back to folly. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, that glory may dwell in our land.

“Mercy and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed. Truth shall spring out of the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven. Yes, the Lord will give what is good; and our land will yield its increase. Righteousness will go before Him, and shall make His footsteps our pathway.” Psalm 85:1–13

Notice the two great traits or attributes that are said to meet together. In a beautiful repetition of Hebrew poetry the thought is emphasized. Mercy and truth have met together. Righteousness and peace have kissed each other. Another of the translations puts it this way: “Loving kindness and truth have met together.” Love and truth, in other words, are joined together in God’s program. The New English Bible translates it: “Love and fidelity have come together. Justice and peace join hands.” Another translation: “Love and loyalty now meet. Righteousness and peace now embrace.”

But why the emphasis on the meeting of these two great attributes? Because the devil has been trying for 6,000 years to separate them. We may call them justice and mercy. We may call them truth and love. One emphasizes a strict hew to the character of God; the other emphasizes His mercy and forgiving kindness. The devil is trying to separate them, but what God has joined together, let not man separate.

No one truly understands one side of the character of God on this matter unless he understands the other side. The two are not disassociated, they are not antagonistic. Each one is a reflection of the other. Mercy and truth meet together. Righteousness and peace have kissed and embraced each other. This was wonderfully and gloriously demonstrated at the cross. At the cross justice and mercy, love and truth met and embraced, the complete manifestation of the character of God.

A most vivid and sublime presentation of this meeting is found in Selected Messages, Book 1, 349: “The grace of Christ and the law of God are inseparable.” Inseparable means you cannot separate them. The devil says, “I’ll try, just watch me.” But God says, “You cannot do it.” There are many things passing for the gospel today that separate these two attributes and when you separate them, you really have neither one when you get through. “In Jesus mercy and truth are met together, righteousness and peace have kissed each other. In His life and character He not only reveals the character of God, but the possibility of man. He was the representative of God and the exemplar of humanity. He presented to the world what humanity might become when united by faith with divinity.” Ibid.

Jesus was not only a substitute, He was a demonstration of what, by the grace of God, can be wrought out in the life of man.

“The only-begotten Son of God took upon Him the nature of man, and established His cross between earth and heaven. Through the cross, man was drawn to God, and God to man.” Ibid.

Here we see the sublime representation of what happened at the cross. Man was drawn to God, and God to man through the cross. Are you drawn to God through the cross? Did God love man more because of the cross? No. At the cross God saw a way, He demonstrated and revealed a way. God, representing justice upon the throne of the universe, saw a way that man could be pardoned without, in any way, weakening the structure and justice of the universe. He saw how man could be forgiven without setting the law aside. He saw how He could bend toward the repenting sinner without accepting or condoning the sin.

“Through the cross, man was drawn to God, and God to man. Justice moved from its high and awful position, and the heavenly hosts, the armies of holiness, drew near to the cross, bowing with reverence; for at the cross justice was satisfied.” Ibid.

Christ on the cross bore everything that justice required and tasted death for every man. He paid the debt. O I am so thankful for that love!

In The Desire of Ages, 762, these wonderful thoughts again are beautifully expressed: “God’s love has been expressed in His justice no less than in His mercy.” We think of the mercy of God as revealing His love. That mercy is infinite mercy. “Grace,” as we sing the song, “that is greater than all our sin.” An infinite love revealed in an infinite mercy. But this says that God’s love has been expressed in His justice no less than in His mercy. Justice is just as much an expression of God’s love as is His mercy. If we don’t agree with that, we either need a different view of justice or we need a different view of mercy. If we correctly understand God, we will see His love in His justice as well as in His mercy, and justice is the foundation of His throne and the fruit of His love.

The world is suffering today because of a permissive attitude toward lawbreaking. Criminals are roaming throughout the world, making life unsafe in both country and city. Why? There is a small chance that a criminal will be caught, a small chance that he will ever be convicted, and an equally small chance that if he is convicted that he will suffer the penalty to the nth degree. The law of averages is all on the side of the criminal and lawbreaking. Man has become so soft, so permissive, that the criminal, high-handed rebel that he is defies the law. The justice of God recognizes that the law must be enforced, wrapping up the peace and order of the entire universe.

What shall we say then of a so-called gospel, that would present the obedience of Christ as something which is a substitute for man’s obedience? It suggests that Christ died for man’s sin, and then man goes free to continue in transgression, yet he is saved because of the sacrifice of Christ. My friend, that is not the gospel.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is the power of God unto salvation from sin, to everyone who believes. In the gospel of Jesus Christ, God’s love is revealed “in His justice no less than in His mercy. Justice is the foundation of His throne, and the fruit of His love. It had been Satan’s purpose to divorce mercy from truth and justice. He sought to prove that the righteousness of God’s law is an enemy to peace. But Christ shows that in God’s plan they are indissolubly joined together; the one cannot exist without the other.” Ibid. There would be no real, lasting, worthwhile, effective mercy in this universe if God’s justice could be set aside and destroyed. Equally so there would be no real justice if God’s mercy could be destroyed. Mercy and justice cannot exist without one another.

When the bride and groom are joined in the wedding service, sometimes they not only join hands but they embrace. There’s a kiss of love and this is the picture here. There is no war between justice, mercy, and the character of God. They are joined, indissolubly joined together. And what God has joined together, let not man separate.

This must be true in our experience:

Truth is knowing God’s will.

Righteousness is doing God’s will.

Faith is man’s response, believing the truth and doing the righteousness; both are made possible through the gift of Christ. He is the truth (John 14:6). He has given man the gift of faith. Faith is one of the gifts of the Spirit. He has given man the gift of righteousness, righteousness that covers every transgression that’s passed to the penitent, righteousness which not only covers him but enters his very mind and soul that the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us.

“Walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Romans 8:1 KJV. This righteousness, truth, justice, and revelation of the will of God, knowing and doing it does not replace love. Love is not a substitute for righteousness, neither is faith a substitute for righteousness. Faith is man’s response to God’s truth and love is an expression of man’s response to God’s love manifested in obedience.

Galatians 5:5, 6 tell us: “For we through the Spirit eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness by faith. For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but faith working through love.” What avails? Faith which works through love. Faith is meant to work.

Do you know what people usually do when they purchase something, only to find that it doesn’t work? Send it back. James makes a very strong stand. He says that if your works aren’t the product of faith, then they are dead. Paul is right in harmony.

Working without either faith or love is legalism. The people of the world see those who strive to keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus and call them legalists. But they don’t really understand what legalism is. Legalism is attempting to do right without God, trying to be righteous without the forgiving and sanctifying grace of Jesus Christ. It is trying to keep the law without the indwelling Spirit and the sprinkling of the blood. Trying to obey God alone, is impossible to do, but with God, nothing is impossible. Anything God says to do can be done.

Where the word of the King is there is power. As many as received them gave He power. Peter, writing in his first epistle to the people of God scattered throughout various parts of the world, said, “[E]lect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:2. This was meant to include us, written for our admonition as well. This precious grace is unto obedience; that’s the purpose of it. Paul, in Romans 1:5, reading the margin calls it “the obedience of faith.” Does faith obey? Yes. If it doesn’t obey, it is not faith; it is presumption. Jesus says, “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” John 17:17

As I was meditating on these texts, I was thinking about the beautiful rainbow. What color is the rainbow? It’s all colors. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, indigo, merging and blending. All those colors are in every ray of light. In the morning sunlight as those rays of glory stream down, every one of them has all the colors in it. You can’t see it, but it is there. You get a rain shower in the right position with reference to your eye and the sun, and those millions of raindrops act like little prisms breaking up or refracting the light into its various colors. The drops of water don’t add any color; they merely show you what is already there.

At the cross, as the storm and tempest of wrath against sin broke upon the head and heart of Jesus Christ, divine justice and mercy were seen as an expression of the infinite love of God. And now, around the throne forever is that rainbow, representing the union of justice and mercy in the plan of salvation. What God has joined together, let not man separate.

I am afraid of any message attempting to emphasize one at the expense of the other, or any message which seeks to pit one against the other, any message which would hurl epithets against those who would join them together. We need both. White light includes red, blue, yellow, and all the various blends and combinations of all colors. So it is with the character of God, summed up in that one word love, for God is love.

As we view that character and bring it to the prism of Calvary, we see justice and mercy, life and death, glory and shame, forgiveness, justification, sanctification, and righteousness imputed and imparted. As we see all these colors, as it were, of the white light of God’s character, let us not seek to run off with one of those colors and say, “This is it, I’ve got the whole thing.” No, because you don’t have the whole thing. We need every color of the rainbow to make the white light of God’s perfect character.

“Mercy and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed.” Psalm 85:10.

What God has joined together, let not man separate.

Pastor W. D. Frazee studied the Medical Missionary Course at the College of Medical Evangelists in Loma Linda, California. He was called to Utah as a gospel medical evangelist. During the Great Depression, when the church could not afford to hire any assistants, Pastor Frazee began inviting professionals to join him as volunteers. Thus began a faith ministry that would become the foundation for the establishment of the Wildwood Medical Missionary Institute in 1942. He believed that each person is unique, specially designed by the Lord, of infinite value, and has a special place and mission in this world which only he or she can fill. His life followed this principle and encouraged others to do the same.

Editorial – Teaching Courtesy to Children

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Jesus was always an example of true courtesy. He “was never cold and unapproachable. The afflicted often broke in upon His retreat when He needed refreshment and rest, but He had a kind look and an encouraging word for all. He was a pattern of true courtesy.” Testimonies, Vol. 4, 488

Heaven is a place where all the inhabitants are courteous to each other, and now is the time to become courteous as Jesus always was. Ellen White wrote about 150 years ago of the necessity of teaching courtesy to our children.

“No pleasanter sight is there than a family of young folks who are quick to perform little acts of attention toward their elders. … But if mamma never returns a smiling ‘Thank you, dear,’ if papa’s ‘Just what I was wanting, Susie,’ does not indicate that the little attention is appreciated, the children soon drop the habit. … By example, a thousand times more quickly than by precept, can children be taught to speak kindly to each other, to acknowledge favors, to be gentle and unselfish, to be thoughtful and considerate of the comfort of the family.

“Scolding is never allowable; reproof and criticism from parents must have their time and place, but should never intrude so far upon the social life of the family as to render the home uncomfortable. A serious word in private will generally cure a fault more easily than many public criticisms. In some families, a spirit of contradiction and discussion mars the harmony… . It interferes seriously with social freedom when unimportant inaccuracies are watched for, and exposed for the mere sake of exposure. Brothers and sisters also sometimes acquire an almost unconscious habit of teasing each other, half in earnest, half in fun. This is particularly uncomfortable for everybody else, whatever doubtful pleasure the parties themselves may experience.

“In the home where true courtesy prevails, it seems to meet you on the very threshold. You feel the kindly welcome on entering. No rude eyes scan your dress. No angry voices are heard upstairs. No sullen children are sent from the room. No peremptory orders are given to cover the delinquencies of housekeepers or servants. A delightful atmosphere pervades the house—unmistakable, yet indescribable.” The Health Reformer, February 1, 1874

Bible Study – The Christian Family

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May 8 – 14, 2022

Key Text

“That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as pillars, sculptured in palace style.” Psalm 144:12

Study Help: Child Guidance, 318–325, 434–443

Introduction

“The greatest evidence of the power of Christianity that can be presented to the world is a well-ordered, well-disciplined family. This will recommend the truth as nothing else can; for it is a living witness of its practical power upon the heart.” Testimonies, Vol. 4, 304

Sunday

1 A LITTLE HEAVEN ON EARTH

1.a. In order to have a happy home, what does God’s word enjoin upon both husbands and wives? 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4; Ephesians 5:33

 Note: “Do not try to compel each other to do as you wish. You cannot do this and retain each other’s love. Manifestations of self will destroy the peace and happiness of the home. Let not your married life be one of contention. If you do, you will both be unhappy. Be kind in speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance of Christlikeness.” Testimonies, Vol. 7, 47

1.b. How does Inspiration describe a true Christian home? Psalm 128; Isaiah 61:9. How can the home be a blessing or a curse?

Note: “We must let Christ into our hearts and homes if we would walk in the light. Home should be made all that the word implies. It should be a little heaven upon earth, a place where the affections are cultivated instead of being studiously repressed. Our happiness depends upon this cultivation of love, sympathy, and true courtesy to one another.” Testimonies, Vol. 3, 539

Monday

2 PARENTS AND CHILDREN

2.a. What do the Scriptures say about the children of God-fearing parents? Psalm 127:3; Proverbs 17:6; Isaiah 54:13

Note: “Let it be remembered that children are not to be treated as though they were our own personal property. Children are the heritage of the Lord, and the plan of redemption includes their salvation as well as ours. They have been entrusted to parents in order that they might be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, that they might be qualified to do their work in time and eternity.” The Adventist Home, 280

“Children are the heritage of the Lord, and unless parents give them such a training as will enable them to keep the way of the Lord, they neglect solemn duty. It is not the will or purpose of God that children shall become coarse, rough, uncourteous, disobedient, unthankful, unholy, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. The Scriptures state that this condition of society shall be a sign of the last days.” Child Guidance, 229

“They [children] are to be guided in the path of obedience, not indulged in appetite or vanity.” The Adventist Home, 279

2.b. What command does the Lord give to all parents who wish to see their children saved? Deuteronomy 6:4–7; 11:18, 19; Proverbs 22:6

 Note: “Throughout the week let parents remember that their home is to be a school in which their children shall be prepared for the courts above. Let their words be right words. No words which their children should not hear are to escape their lips. Let the spirit be kept free from irritation. Parents, during the week live as in the sight of a holy God, who has given you children to train for Him. Train for Him the little church in your home, that on the Sabbath all may be prepared to worship in the Lord’s sanctuary. Each morning and evening present your children to God as His blood-bought heritage. Teach them that it is their highest duty and privilege to love and serve God.

“Parents should be particular to make the worship of God an object lesson for their children. Passages of scripture should be more often on their lips, especially those passages that prepare the heart for religious service. The precious words might well be often repeated: ‘My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him’ (Psalm 62:5).” Testimonies, Vol. 6, 354

Tuesday

3 THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

3.a. What are children required to do regarding their parents? Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1–3

Note: “There is no period in life when children are excused from honoring their parents. This solemn obligation is binding upon every son and daughter and is one of the conditions to their prolonging their lives upon the land which the Lord will give the faithful. This is not a subject unworthy of notice, but a matter of vital importance. The promise is upon condition of obedience. If you obey, you shall live long in the land which the Lord your God gives you. If you disobey, you shall not prolong your life in that land.” The Adventist Home, 292, 293

“Children, do you desire eternal life? Then respect and honor your parents. Do not wound and grieve their hearts, and cause them to spend sleepless nights in anxiety and distress over your case. If you have sinned in not rendering love and obedience to them, begin now to redeem the past. You cannot afford to take any other course; for it means to you the loss of eternal life. The Heart-searcher knows what is your attitude toward your parents; for He is weighing moral character in the golden scales of the heavenly sanctuary. O, confess your neglect of your parents, confess your indifference toward them, and your contempt of God’s holy commandment.” The Youth’s Instructor, June 22, 1893

3.b. What is one of the signs of the soon coming of our Lord Jesus Christ? Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2

Note: “The sin which exists in this generation among children is that they are ‘disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God’ (2 Timothy 3:2, 4). And this state of things exists to such an extent that it is made a subject of prophecy as one of the signs that we are living in the last days of time.” Letters to Young Lovers, 53

“The word of God abounds in precepts and counsels enjoining respect for parents. It impresses upon the young the sacred duty of loving and cherishing those who have guided them through infancy, childhood, and youth, up to manhood and womanhood, and who are now in great degree dependent upon them for peace and happiness. The Bible gives no uncertain sound on this subject; nevertheless, its teachings have been greatly disregarded.” Fundamentals of Christian Education, 101

Wednesday

4 A THREEFOLD POWER

4.a. What family-related prophecy will be fulfilled in these last days? Malachi 4:5, 6; Luke 1:17

Note: “The restoration and uplifting of humanity begins in the home. The work of parents underlies every other. Society is composed of families, and is what the heads of families make it. Out of the heart are ‘the issues of life’ (Proverbs 4:23); and the heart of the community, of the church, and of the nation is the household. The well-being of society, the success of the church, the prosperity of the nation, depend upon home influences.” The Ministry of Healing, 349

“Those who bear the last message of mercy to the world should feel it their duty to instruct parents in regard to home religion. Their great reformatory movement must begin in presenting to fathers and mothers and children the principles of the law of God. As the claims of the law are presented, and men and women are convicted of their duty to render obedience, show them the responsibility of their decision, not only for themselves but for their children.” Child Guidance, 556

4.b. When fathers, mothers, and children are united in one happy family, what will be the result? Psalm 144:12

 Note: “More than human wisdom is needed by parents at every step, that they may understand how best to educate their children for a useful, happy life here, and for higher service and greater joy hereafter. Fathers and mothers, ever remember that to you is committed a sacred trust. The power of example is very great. If you fail to select proper society for your children and allow them to associate with persons of questionable morals, you place them or permit them to place themselves, in a school where lessons of depravity will be taught and practiced.” The Review and Herald, September 13, 1881

“Parents, you have a solemn responsibility resting upon you. It is your duty to cooperate with Christ in aiding your children to form right characters. Jesus can do nothing without your cooperation. It is not mercy or kindness to permit a child to have its own way, to submit to its rule, and to neglect to correct it on the ground that you love it too well to punish it. What kind of love is it that permits your child to develop traits of character that will make him and everyone else miserable? Away with such love! True love will look out for the present and eternal good of the soul.” Ibid., July 16, 1895

Thursday

5 FAITHFUL WORK REWARDED

5.a. In eternity—when the saved are secure in God’s kingdom—what will be the parents’ testimony? Isaiah 8:18

 Note: “When the judgment shall sit, and the books shall be opened; when the ‘well done’ of the great Judge is pronounced, and the crown of immortal glory is placed upon the brow of the victor, many will raise their crowns in sight of the assembled universe and, pointing to their mother, say, ‘She made me all I am through the grace of God. Her instruction, her prayers, have been blessed to my eternal salvation.’ ” Messages to Young People, 330

“Mothers, remember that in your work the Creator of the universe will give you help. In His strength, and through His name, you can lead your children to be overcomers. Teach them to look to God for strength. Tell them that He hears their prayers. Teach them to overcome evil with good. Teach them to exert an influence that is elevating and ennobling. Lead them to unite with God, and then they will have strength to resist the strongest temptation. They will then receive the reward of the overcomer.” Child Guidance, 172, 173

5.b. What will be the reward of the Christian family when they enter God’s kingdom? Psalm 132:12

 Note: “He [Jesus] tells you to be a partaker of His joy, and what is that? It is the joy of seeing of the travail of your soul, fathers. It is the joy of seeing that your efforts, mothers, are rewarded. Here are your children; the crown of life is upon their heads, and the angels of God immortalize the names of the mothers whose efforts have won their children to Jesus Christ.” Child Guidance, 567, 568

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    What characterizes a true Christian family?

2    Name some successful key elements in rearing God-fearing children.

3    What special challenge do parents face in these last days?

4    Why will truly Christian homes become rare in the end of time?

5    What is needed in order to see our children in the kingdom of God?

Copyright 2000, Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Bible Study – Marriage—a Divine Institution

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This We Believe 

May 1 – 7, 2022

Key Text

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

Study Help: Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 63–65

Introduction

“As the Creator joined the hands of the holy pair in wedlock, saying, A man shall ‘leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one’ (Genesis 2:24), He enunciated the law of marriage for all the children of Adam to the close of time.” Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 63, 64

Sunday

1 GOD INSTITUTED MARRIAGE

1.a. After Adam named every animal, what event took place? Genesis 2:18, 21, 22. How does God regard marriage? Hebrews 13:4

Note: “God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. … When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.”

“Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 46

Monday

2 A JOYOUS OCCASION

2.a. What event shows that the Lord approved the marriage institution? John 2:1, 2

Note: “Christ came to our world to cause heavenly light to shine amid the moral darkness. He came to make men and women understand that the marriage institution is sacred. His presence at Cana gave high endorsement to this ordinance.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 10, 188

“Christ came not to destroy this [sacred and holy] institution, but to restore it to its original sanctity and elevation. He came to restore the moral image of God in man, and He began His work by sanctioning the marriage relation. He who made the first holy pair, and who created for them a paradise, has put His seal upon the marriage institution, first celebrated in Eden.” Ibid., 203

“In both the Old and the New Testament the marriage relation is employed to represent the tender and sacred union that exists between Christ and His people, the redeemed ones whom He has purchased at the cost of Calvary.” Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 64

2.b. What do the Scriptures say about a happy home? Psalm 128

Note: “The Scriptures state that both Jesus and His disciples were called to the marriage feast [at Cana]. Christ has given Christians no sanction for saying, when invited to a marriage, We ought not to be present on so joyous an occasion. By attending this feast Christ taught us that He would have us rejoice with those who rejoice in the observance of His statutes. He never discouraged the festivities of mankind when they were carried on in accordance with the laws of heaven. A gathering that Christ honored by His presence, it is right that His followers should attend. After attending this feast, Christ attended many others, sanctifying them by His presence and instruction.” The Signs of the Times, August 30, 1899

“ ‘If our happiness consists in making others happy, we are happy indeed. The true disciple will not live to gratify beloved self, but for Christ, and for the good of His little ones. He is to sacrifice his ease, his pleasure, his comfort, his convenience, his will, and his own selfish wishes for Christ’s cause, or never reign with Him on His throne.’ ” Testimonies, Vol. 1, 85, 86

“Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other.” Ibid., Vol. 7, 46

Tuesday

3 THE ROLES OF MARRIAGE

3.a. The Bible specifies joint obligations on husband and wife. Sometimes husbands cite the wives’ obligations forgetting that there are mutual obligations, and one spouse cannot be held hostage to fulfill their obligations if the other spouse is not fulfilling theirs. What are these joint obligations? Ephesians 5:22–31; Colossians 3:19

Note: “The Lord has constituted the husband the head of the wife to be her protector; he is the house-band of the family, binding the members together. … Christ’s authority is exercised in wisdom, in all kindness and gentleness; so let the husband exercise his power and imitate the great Head of the church.” The Faith I Live By, 259

3.b. Specify the right attitudes in contrast to the wrong ones in a husband and father. Genesis 18:18, 19; Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:7–9

Note: “The father should enforce in his family the sterner virtues—energy, integrity, honesty, patience, courage, diligence, and practical usefulness. And what he requires of his children he himself should practice, illustrating these virtues in his own manly bearing.” The Ministry of Healing, 391

“It is no evidence of manliness in the husband for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. It does not increase respect for him to hear him quoting scripture to sustain his claims to authority. It will not make him more manly to require his wife, the mother of his children, to act upon his plans as if they were infallible.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 13, 82

“Many husbands do not sufficiently understand and appreciate the cares and perplexities which their wives endure, generally confined all day to an unceasing round of household duties. They frequently come to their homes with clouded brows, bringing no sunshine to the family circle. If the meals are not on time, the tired wife, who is frequently housekeeper, nurse, cook, and housemaid, all in one, is greeted with faultfinding. The exacting husband may condescend to take the worrying child from the weary arms of its mother that her arrangements for the family meal may be hastened; but if the child is restless and frets in the arms of its father, he will seldom feel it his duty to act the nurse and seek to quiet and soothe it. He does not pause to consider how many hours the mother has endured the little one’s fretfulness, but calls out impatiently, ‘Here, Mother, take your child.’ Is it not his child as well as hers? Is he not under a natural obligation to patiently bear his part of the burden of rearing his children?” The Adventist Home, 224, 225 [Emphasis author’s.]

Wednesday

4 THE QUEEN OF THE HOME

4.a. How does the Bible describe a true, virtuous, Christian wife? Proverbs 18:22; 19:14; 31:10, 11, 30

Note: “The husband is the head of the family, as Christ is the head of the church; and any course which the wife may pursue to lessen his influence and lead him to come down from that dignified, responsible position is displeasing to God. It is the duty of the wife to yield her wishes and will to her husband. Both should be yielding, but the word of God gives preference to the judgment of the husband. And it will not detract from the dignity of the wife to yield to him whom she has chosen to be her counselor, adviser, and protector.” Testimonies, Vol. 1, 307, 308

“Many husbands stop at the words, ‘Wives, submit yourselves,’ but we will read the conclusion of the same injunction, which is, ‘As it is fit in the Lord.’ ” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 13, 74

4.b. What injunction does the Lord direct to the queen of the home? 1 Peter 3:1, 2; Philippians 2:14

Note: “While the mistress of the household may perform her outward duties with exactitude, she may be continually crying out against the slavery to which she is doomed, and exaggerate her responsibilities and restrictions by comparing her lot with what she styles the higher life of woman, and cherishing unsanctified longings for an easier position, free from the petty cares and exactions that vex her spirit. She little dreams that in that widely different sphere of action to which she aspires trials full as vexations, though perhaps of a different sort, would certainly beset her. While she is fruitlessly yearning for a different life she is nourishing a sinful discontent and making her home very unpleasant for her husband and children.

“The true wife and mother will pursue an entirely opposite course from this. She will perform her duties with dignity and cheerfulness, not considering that it is degrading to do with her own hands whatever is necessary for her to do in a well-ordered household. If she looks to God for her strength and comfort, and in His wisdom and fear seeks to do her daily duty, she will bind her husband to her heart, and see her children coming to maturity, honorable men and women, having moral stamina to follow the example of their mother.” The Health Reformer, August 1, 1877

Thursday

5 A LIFELONG BOND

5.a. In harmony with the word of God, how long does the marriage vow bind husband and wife? Mark 10:6–12; Romans 7:1–3; 1 Corinthians 7:39

 Note: “This [marriage] vow links the destinies of the two individuals with bonds which nought but the hand of death should sever.” Testimonies, Vol. 4, 507

“What of the marriage relation today? Is it not perverted and defiled, made even as it was in Noah’s day? Divorce after divorce is recorded in the daily papers. This is the marriage of which Christ speaks when He says that before the Flood they were ‘marrying and giving in marriage’ (Matthew 24:38).” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 7, 56

5.b. If there is separation between husband and wife and no adultery has been committed, what are the two alternatives? Malachi 2:13–16; 1 Corinthians 7:10–14

 Note: “Jesus came to our world to rectify his [man’s] mistakes and to restore the moral image of God in man. Wrong sentiments in regard to marriage had found a place in the minds of the teachers of Israel. They were making of none effect the sacred institution of marriage. Man was becoming so hardhearted that he would for the most trivial excuse separate from his wife. …

“Christ came to correct these evils, and His first miracle was wrought on the occasion of the marriage. Thus He announced to the world that marriage, when kept pure and undefiled, is a sacred institution.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 10, 198

5.c. Because of various kinds of sin, some marriages must be dissolved. What does the Bible say about remarriage in such an instance? Matthew 19:3–9

Note: “Dear Brother D: I hoped the change which seemed to take place in your wife at the meeting in Chicago would be lasting, and was so grateful to our heavenly Father when I heard her confession, for I thought that a most severe task was lifted from my shoulders; but the … dangers and difficulties which she will create if her whims are gratified, are almost incredible to those who do not understand the spirit which actuates her. …

“However earnestly her husband may endeavor to pursue a straightforward course to serve God, she will be his evil angel, seeking to lead him away from righteousness. In her own estimation she is the idol he must worship; in fact, she is Satan’s agent, seeking to occupy the place where God should be. She has followed the impulses of her own unconsecrated heart until Satan has almost complete control of her. …

“Unless there is a change, a time will come soon when this lower nature in the wife, controlled by a will as strong as steel, will bring down the strong will of the husband to her own low level. … In this case it is not the woman whom Brother D is dealing with, but a desperate, satanic spirit. The Lord has a work for Brother D to do; but if he is overcome by these outbursts on the part of his wife, he is a lost man, and she is not saved by the sacrifice. …

“His best course with this child-wife, so overbearing, so unyielding, and so uncontrollable, is to take her home, and leave her with the mother who has made her what she is. Though it must be painful, this is the only thing for him to do, if he would not be ruined spiritually, sacrificed to the demon of hysterics and satanic imaginings. Satan takes entire control of her temper and will, and uses them like desolating hail to beat down every obstruction. Her husband can do her no good, but is doing himself incalculable harm, and robbing God of the talents and influence He has given.

“Sister D is determined to rule or ruin. I was shown that she has so thoroughly yielded herself into Satan’s hands that her husband fears for her reason, but he will make one of the gravest mistakes of his life if he permits himself to be controlled by Satan through the device of his wife. I tell you plainly, she is controlled by demons, and if these evil spirits have their way, your liberty, Brother D, your manhood, is gone; you are a slave to her caprices. … She is just as much possessed by a demon as was the man who tore and cut himself when Jesus cast out the devils. … Brother D must let Satan rage, and not allow himself to be cut off from religious privileges because his wife desires it.” Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, 76–78. (See Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, 76–78 for Mrs. White’s complete counsel to Brother D.)

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    How does the Bible describe the creation of the woman?

2    When only can a wedding be a truly joyous occasion, and why?

3    How can a husband improve his relationship with his wife?

4    How can a wife improve her relationship with her husband?

5    What is the evidence that God in His wisdom designed marriage to be a lifelong vow?

Copyright 2000, Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Purpose and Pleasure

by

If this Covid-19 pandemic has done anything good, it would be the opportunity to be together as a family. Too often, the cares and demands of the world: making a living, the care and upkeep of the physical dwelling, even participation in church activities and responsibilities, have made us unaware of the needs within our own home. As a minister of the gospel, I spend my time tending to the needs of others, so when our ability to freely move about was restricted and I had the opportunity to spend more time with my family, I was able to more clearly see the needs of my own house and my own life.

We hear so many things these days about the end of time, the mark of the beast, the slow erosion of religious liberty, forces in the background manipulating everything in the world; and they cause us concern. But as a Seventh-day Adventist parent, we often hear the words we never want to hear from a child. “Dad. Mom. I already know all this stuff. I’ve heard it my whole life. I get it about love, but this is all over my head and I just want to live my life, hang out with my friends, do and be what I want.”

The first thought is, what did I do wrong? Young people losing or leaving their faith and the church is happening throughout Adventism. God has a message for us. He has a purpose for your life, youth and adult. And we can find that message in one of the most familiar stories in the Bible. Beginning in Judges 13, we find the story of Samson, a young man for whom God had a purpose, but who had his own ideas about how he wanted to live his life. The story of Samson is one both of tragedy and redemption.

Judges 13:1–5 says, “Again the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord delivered them into the hand of the Philistines for forty years. Now there was a certain man from Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren and had no children. And the Angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, ‘Indeed now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean. For behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. And no razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.’ ”

Then we see that Manoah and his wife sought the messenger and asked God to send him again so that Manoah might hear the instructions that had earlier been given to his wife regarding their son. He returns and at first they believe He is a prophet, but as the conversation continues, Manoah and his wife realize that the Angel of the Lord who has delivered this message to them is actually the Son of God; that through Him, they have been speaking with God (Judges 13:22). Finally, in Judges 13:24 and 25 we read, “So the woman bore a son and called his name Samson; and the child grew, and the Lord blessed him. And the Spirit of the Lord began to move upon him … .”

As a Nazarite, an individual would be consecrated to God and a vow taken to commit himself for a holy purpose. Numbers 6:3, 4 gives us a clear understanding of the life of a Nazarite. It says, “… he shall separate himself from wine and similar drink; he shall drink neither vinegar made from wine nor vinegar made from similar drink; neither shall he drink any grape juice, nor eat fresh grapes or raisins. All the days of his separation he shall eat nothing that is produced by the grapevine, from seed to skin.” The Nazarite was held to a higher standard regarding diet much like Seventh-day Adventists today. Continuing in Numbers 6, “All the days of the vow of his separation no razor shall come upon his head; until the days are fulfilled for which he separated himself to the Lord, he shall be holy. Then he shall let the locks of the hair of his head grow. All the days that he separates himself to the Lord he shall not go near a dead body … he shall be holy to the Lord” (verses 5, 6, 8).

Judges 13:5, 6 and Numbers 6:5 confirm,  that Samson’s hair was divided into seven locks and was not to be cut, as a Nazarite’s hair was a sign of his consecration to God. The seven locks is a parallel to the seventh-day Sabbath which is a sign of consecration of those who keep it. God’s purpose for Samson was that he would begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.

So, we find that from the day Samson was born, he was consecrated to the Lord for a holy purpose. He took a vow of commitment to that purpose. He refrained from strong drink and ate according to a specific diet. Also, his hair was never to be cut as a sign of his consecration to God. It is likely that he was reminded daily of his holy purpose, not just by his parents, but by his diet, the length of his hair and by the fact that he could not partake in certain things. He knew he was to deliver his people from the Philistines. A weighty expectation to live with.

As Samson grew, he began to associate with the Philistines and friendships developed. When he became a young man, he was well aware of the Nazarite vow he had taken and the restrictions that accompanied that vow, but he began to look around and the world looked inviting. He began to socialize more with the Philistines when a young woman came to his attention in the city of Timnah whom he determined should become his wife.

Samson went to his parents and said, “ ‘I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, get her for me as a wife’ ” (Judges 14:2).

His parents’ response, found in verse 3, was, “ ‘Is there no woman among the daughters of your brethren, or among all my people, that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?’ And Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me, for she pleases me well.’ ”

“Just as he was entering upon manhood, the time when he must execute his divine mission—the time above all others when he should have been true to God—Samson connected himself with the enemies of Israel. He did not ask whether he could better glorify God when united with the object of his choice, or whether he was placing himself in a position where he could not fulfill the purpose to be accomplished by his life.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 563.

Samson’s only interest was in pleasing himself. “To all who seek first to honor Him, God has promised wisdom; but there is no promise to those who are bent upon self-pleasing.” Ibid.

Though his parents tried to dissuade him, Samson was determined to go his own way, so Manoah and his wife yielded to his wishes and he married the woman from Timnah.

Friends, consider how Samson is an example of what is happening in the Seventh-day Adventist Church today, primarily with our young people. As children of God, we also are called to be separate, consecrated for a holy purpose. 1 John 3:1 tells us, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!”

In addition, notice what we find in 1 Peter 1:15: “… but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct.” We have been called to be holy in our conversation and lifestyle. We read further, “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). Here is a picture of God calling Christians to be separate from the world like the Nazarites of the Old Testament.

Luke 4:18 and 19 tells us what our mission is. “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.” This is the same message Jesus gave to the apostles in Matthew 28:19 and 20, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you.” This is a God-given commission for His people.

As God’s people, we have been instructed regarding our diet (see Revelation 22:2). We have been given the Sabbath day as a holy day, consecrated and set apart to commune with God (see Ezekiel 20:12). Samson was strong because he did not cut his hair, but his strength was not in his hair, rather in his relationship with and obedience to God. It is the same with the Sabbath. The power is not in the Sabbath, but in our relationship with God and that we obey His commandment to keep the seventh day holy. Our purpose is to love God and love man; and in loving and serving Him, we will desire to love and serve others (see Matthew 22:37–39). Once we know what God has done for us, we will want to share it with others. The more time we spend with Christ, the more feelings and affections we will have for other people.

We are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and spirit and when we do this, when He is in our hearts, then His purpose for our lives will become our pleasure. We will seek to fulfill His purpose for our lives. Without Him in our hearts, we will love the things that turn us from His purpose. There are so many things that can and will distract us from doing God’s purpose, if we allow it. This is particularly so for young people.

We preach the three angels’ messages found in Revelation 14:6–12 warning people of the coming judgment. We preach about Babylon and prophecy, the seal of God and the mark of the beast. We raise our children with the Bible. We have camp meetings, Revelation seminars, evangelistic meetings. We live a temperate lifestyle. We keep the Sabbath. We provide biblical instruction to our children and diligently work to raise them to follow and obey the Lord. But even with all of this, everything that is available to them, they do something that seems so contrary to what we would expect.

Let me give you an example. We have all heard the name J. P. Morgan. His father, Junius Spencer Morgan was a financial businessman who learned and trained under the house of Rothschild. His purpose and intention for his son was to make him a better financial investment businessman than he was himself. Did he succeed? Yes, he did. The father was responsible for how the son presented himself. This is a worldly example. How much more then, as Christians, are we responsible for how our children are raised?

We live in a broken world and because of that, there are broken homes, so this may not apply to everyone in the strictest sense. Not all homes have the privilege of having two parents in the household, but in those homes where both parents are present, we need to be diligent that we are taking advantage of the opportunity of being in touch with our children, of connecting with them.

There are Adventist parents who come to the pastor or Sabbath School teacher because they are having trouble with their child and expect the pastor or teacher to fix the problem. The question to be asked is, “What are you, the parents, doing?” Many fathers and mothers place the responsibility of seeing their child converted into the hands of others. Do not depend on others to do the work of training your children in the way that they should go. Follow the example of Manoah and his wife before and after the birth of Samson, be responsible for your own life and relationship with God and bear the responsibility toward your children, with prayer and searching for God’s guidance in their lives as well.

We must heed the guidance provided in The Adventist Home, page 190, “Some parents do not understand their children and are not really acquainted with them. There is often a great distance between parents and children. If the parents would enter more fully into the feelings of their children and draw out what is in their hearts, it would have a beneficial influence upon them.

“The father and the mother should work together in full sympathy with each other. They should make themselves companions to their children.

“Parents should study the best and most successful manner of winning the love and confidence of their children, that they may lead them in the right path. They should reflect the sunshine of love upon the household.”

We must encourage and commend our children. As Adventists, we tend to focus on all the don’ts and when a child does something right, our feeling is, that’s what they were supposed to do. We seem to feel that encouragement and commendation are bad, but notice what it says, “Young children love companionship and can seldom enjoy themselves alone. They yearn for sympathy and tenderness. That which they enjoy they think will please mother also, and it is natural for them to go to her with their little joys and sorrows. The mother should not wound their sensitive hearts by treating with indifference matters that, though trifling to her, are of great importance to them. Her sympathy and approval are precious. An approving glance, a word of encouragement or commendation, will be like sunshine in their hearts, often making the whole day happy.

“Parents should encourage their children to confide in them and unburden to them their heart griefs, their little daily annoyances and trials.

“Kindly instruct them and bind them to your hearts. It is a critical time for children. Influences will be thrown around them to wean them from you which you must counteract. Teach them to make you their confidant. Let them whisper in your ear their trials and joys.

“Children would be saved from many evils if they would be more familiar with their parents. Parents should encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank with them, to come to them with their difficulties and, when they are perplexed as to what course is right, to lay the matter just as they view it before the parents and ask their advice.” The Adventist Home, 190, 191.

This also requires that the father and mother are connected, individually, with God, and by God’s grace, to each other. Without this, there will only be discord and strife. There are books and many other resources that can be of help. I strongly recommend The Adventist Home.

We must ask ourselves these questions: How much time do I spend praying for my spouse? How much time do I spend praying for my children? How often do I interact with them and ask them how they are feeling, how they are doing? If your response is, “Not enough,” then a change must be made. We must make ourselves available to our children, even be vulnerable. Let them see that you struggle with weakness just as they do.

Do not imagine that there is no help at all from your church family. Older individuals with more life experience and married couples can be guardians and a help to young people. Even the pastor and teacher can help, but the responsibility of the salvation of your children belongs to you.

Following are four reasons that I believe explain why young people are losing and leaving their faith.

  1. Compromise – Is there compromise in your home? If so, it is likely that as your children grow they will begin to do things they have observed rather than as they were taught. For example, have you violated the edges of the Sabbath by heading to an activity or event that is not acceptable for the Sabbath rest and before the Sabbath hours are completely passed?
  2. Legalism/Too much head knowledge – We have so much powerful information/doctrine that is stimulating to the mind. The Seventh-day Adventist teachings really grab the intellect. But the danger is that we can fill our young people with so much head knowledge, yet we leave out the Giver and the Teacher of the doctrine. There is nothing wrong with knowledge and doctrine, but if what you teach does not lead your children to a relationship with God that changes the heart and mind, then it is meaningless.
  3. Turned off by the Church – How often do we observe that God’s people are not perfect? Gossiping, backbiting, church politics, hypocrisy; all these things can simply wear out a person. These may be legitimate reasons to become disillusioned by your church, but they are not real reasons to leave.
  4. They Just Decide to Leave – This probably surprises us the most, mainly because the general feeling is that if our children do not stay in the faith, we must have done something wrong. Let me ask a question: Can you think of a single case in the history of the world, after sin entered, that there were perfect parents? No, not one. But here is another question: When Lucifer sinned, what did God do wrong? Parents do the best they can. They raise their children to love the Saviour. They encourage them to read the Bible and learn its promises. God gave us all a free will. You can train your children while you can, but when they reach a certain age, they choose for themselves. Too many parents carry the burden that because their children have left the faith, it must be their fault in some way when it is simply that many Adventist young people choose to do as they please.

Let’s look again at Samson. “And he came up and told his father and his mother, and said, ‘I have seen a woman in Timnah … Get her for me, for she pleases me well.’ ” Samson was clear on the purpose God had for him. He had lived his whole life as a Nazarite, but he chose to follow his own desires. He was not considering what would bring glory to God or if he was placing himself in a position where he would be unable to fulfill that purpose.

Maybe you relate to the story of Samson. Maybe you are a parent watching your child potentially throwing his or her life away on frivolous pursuits. Maybe you are a child who is turned off by the church or is just tired of all the knowledge and strictness of the faith. You need to know that it was God’s pleasure to die for you. Hebrews 12:2 says, “… looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” His pleasure was to fulfill His purpose in saving you and me. You, too, can have pleasure in following His purpose for your life.

I am reminded of a song written years ago by Keith Green. He lived a life of rock and roll, but God changed his heart. Maybe this is you.

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to You and dead to me

But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it up
With oil and wine
The oil is You
Your Spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of Your blood

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to You and dead to me

We must ask the Lord to help us see that doing what is outside His will, will hurt us. But when we do what pleases Him, we will never go wrong.

(Unless appearing in quoted references or otherwise identified, Bible texts are from the New King James Version.)

Pastor Damien Jenkins was raised in a non-religious home, but at the age of 18 was introduced to the Gospel and his life was forever changed. Today he is pastor of the Water of Life Free Seventh-day Adventist church in Hohenwald, TN. He enjoys apologetics, Bible history, expounding on the topic of righteousness by faith and making the Bible simple and easy to understand.

Bible Study Guides – Love and Self-respect

by

May 2 – 8, 2021

Key Text

“We love Him, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

 Study Help: The Adventist Home, 50–54; Testimonies, vol. 2, 200–215.

Introduction

“The unconsecrated heart cannot originate or produce it. Only in the heart where Jesus reigns is it found. … In the heart renewed by divine grace, love is the ruling principle of action.” The Acts of the Apostles, 551.

Sunday

1 LOVE AS A PRINCIPLE OF ACTION

1.a. What is love? 1 John 4:16.

Note: “Love is power. Intellectual and moral strength are involved in this principle, and cannot be separated from it. The power of wealth has a tendency to corrupt and destroy; the power of force is strong to do hurt; but the excellence and value of pure love consist in its efficiency to do good, and to do nothing else than good. Whatsoever is done out of pure love, be it ever so little or contemptible in the sight of men, is wholly fruitful; for God regards more with how much love one worketh than the amount he doeth. Love is of God. The unconverted heart cannot originate nor produce this plant of heavenly growth, which lives and flourishes only where Christ reigns.” Testimonies, vol. 2, 135.

1.b.      What does true love lead one to do? Romans 13:10; John 15:9–14.

Note: “Christ’s love is deep and earnest, flowing like an irrepressible stream to all who will accept it. There is no selfishness in His love. If this heaven-born love is an abiding principle in the heart, it will make itself known, not only to those we hold most dear in sacred relationship, but to all with whom we come in contact. It will lead us to bestow little acts of attention, to make concessions, to perform deeds of kindness, to speak tender, true, encouraging words. It will lead us to sympathize with those whose hearts hunger for sympathy.” “Ellen G. White Comments,” The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 5, 1140.

“Love is a plant of heavenly origin. It is not unreasonable; it is not blind. It is pure and holy. But the passion of the natural heart is another thing altogether. While pure love will take God into all its plans, and will be in perfect harmony with the Spirit of God, passion will be headstrong, rash, unreasonable, defiant of all restraint, and will make the object of its choice an idol.” The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.

Monday

2 LOVE IN MARRIAGE

2.a. Why was marriage largely associated with sin in Noah’s day? Luke 17:26, 27.

Note: “There is in itself no sin in eating and drinking, or in marrying and giving in marriage. It was lawful to marry in the time of Noah, and it is lawful to marry now, if that which is lawful is properly treated, and not carried to sinful excess. …

“In Noah’s day it was the inordinate, excessive love of that which in itself was lawful, when properly used, that made marriage sinful before God. There are many who are losing their souls in this age of the world, by becoming absorbed in the thoughts of marriage, and in the marriage relation itself. …

“God has placed men in the world, and it is their privilege to eat, to drink, to trade, to marry, and to be given in marriage; but it is safe to do these things only in the fear of God. We should live in this world with reference to the eternal world.” The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.

2.b.      What parallel of marriage does Scripture give in illustrating love? Ephesians 5:25, 26.

Note: “In all the deportment of one who possesses true love, the grace of God will be shown. Modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality, and religion will characterize every step toward an alliance in marriage.” The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.

Tuesday

3 TESTING YOUR LOVE

3.a. How is genuine love demonstrated? 1 John 3:16–18.

Note: “The proof of our love is given in a Christlike spirit, a willingness to impart the good things God has given us, a readiness to practice self-denial and self-sacrifice in order to help advance the cause of God and suffering humanity. Never should we pass by the object that calls for our liberality. We reveal that we have passed from death unto life when we act as faithful stewards of God’s grace. God has given us His goods; He has given us His pledged word that if we are faithful in our stewardship, we shall lay up in heaven treasures that are imperishable.” The Review and Herald, May 15, 1900.

3.b.      Give an example of pure, sanctified love. John 12:3; Luke 7:40–47.

Note: “Talk, pharisaism, and self-praise are abundant; but these will never win souls to Christ. Pure, sanctified love, such love as was expressed in Christ’s lifework, is as a sacred perfume. Like Mary’s broken box of ointment, it fills the whole house with fragrance. Eloquence, knowledge of truth, rare talents, mingled with love, are all precious endowments. But ability alone, the choicest talents alone, cannot take the place of love.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 84.

Wednesday

4 PROMOTING HEALTHY SELF-RESPECT

4.a. In what sense are the servants of God encouraged to be wise? Proverbs 9:12, first part. How does home ownership relate to self-respect?

Note: “The sense of being owners of their own homes would inspire them [the poorer classes] with a strong desire for improvement. They would soon acquire skill in planning and devising for themselves; their children would be educated to habits of industry and economy, and the intellect would be greatly strengthened. They would feel that they are men, not slaves, and would be able to regain to a great degree their lost self-respect and moral independence.” The Adventist Home, 373.

4.b.      Describe the contrast between self-support and dependence upon charity and the government. Proverbs 10:16; 21:25.

Note: “Those who are endeavoring to reform should be provided with employment. None who are able to labor should be taught to expect food and clothing and shelter free of cost. For their own sake, as well as for the sake of others, some way should be devised whereby they may return an equivalent for what they receive. Encourage every effort toward self-support. This will strengthen self-respect and a noble independence. And occupation of mind and body in useful work is essential as a safeguard against temptation.” The Ministry of Healing, 177.

“Many who are qualified to do excellent work accomplish little because they attempt little. Thousands pass through life as if they had no great object for which to live, no high standard to reach. One reason for this is the low estimate which they place upon themselves. Christ paid an infinite price for us, and according to the price paid He desires us to value ourselves.” Ibid., 498.

Thursday

5 UNDERSTANDING TRUE SELF-RESPECT

5.a  What does God do when man fully humbles himself? James 4:10; 1 Peter 5:6, 7.

Note: “It should not be difficult to remember that the Lord desires you to lay your troubles and perplexities at His feet, and leave them there. Go to Him, saying, ‘Lord, my burdens are too heavy for me to carry. Wilt Thou bear them for me?’ And He will answer: ‘I will take them. “With everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee.” I will take your sins, and will give you peace. Banish no longer your self-respect; for I have bought you with the price of My own blood. You are Mine. Your weakened will I will strengthen. Your remorse for sin I will remove.’ ”  Testimonies to Ministers and Gospel Workers, 519, 520.

“Let us, under all circumstances, preserve our confidence in Christ. He is to be everything to us—the first, the last, the best in everything. Then let us educate our tongues to speak forth His praise, not only when we feel gladness and joy, but at all times. …

“Let us not talk of the great power of Satan, but of the great power of God.” Sons and Daughters of God, 328.

5.b.      How can we have confidence toward God? Romans 8:1; 1 John 3:21.

Note: “It is not pleasing to God that you should demerit yourself. You should cultivate self-respect by living so that you will be approved by your own conscience, and before men and angels. … It is your privilege to go to Jesus and be cleansed, and to stand before the law without shame and remorse. [Romans 8:1 quoted.] While we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought, the word of God does not condemn a proper self-respect. As sons and daughters of God, we should have a conscious dignity of character, in which pride and self-importance have no part.” The Review and Herald, March 27, 1888.

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS    

1    Describe the difference between love and passion. Define true love.

2    What is pure, holy love? Contrast God’s ideal for marriage with the concept prevalent in the days of Noah.

3    How can love be proven?

4    What are some ways to gain self-respect?

5    How can self-respect be maintained?

Copyright 1995 Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Bible Study Guides – The Christian Home

by

Let This Mind Be in You

March 28 – April 3, 2021

Key Text

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and He brought her unto the man. And Adam said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:21–24).

Study Help: The Ministry of Healing, 349–394.

Introduction

“As a rule, children inherit the dispositions and tendencies of their parents, and imitate their example.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 118.

Sunday

1 THE ESTABLISHMENT OF THE HOME

1.a. Why did God create Eve? Genesis 2:18.

Note: “Men and women can reach God’s ideal for them if they will take Christ as their helper. What human wisdom cannot do, His grace will accomplish for those who give themselves to Him in loving trust. His providence can unite hearts in bonds that are of heavenly origin. Love will not be a mere exchange of soft and flattering words. The loom of heaven weaves with warp and woof finer, yet more firm, than can be woven by the looms of earth. The result is not a tissue fabric, but a texture that will bear wear and test and trial. Heart will be bound to heart in the golden bonds of a love that is enduring.” The Ministry of Healing, 362.

 1.b.      Describe the finding of a wife for Isaac? Genesis 24:37–67.

Note: “God Himself gave Adam a companion. He provided ‘an help meet for him’ (Genesis 2:18)—a helper corresponding to him—one who was fitted to be his companion, and who could be one with him in love and sympathy. Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 46.

Monday

2 HUSBANDS AND WIVES

2.a. What is the husband’s responsibility when married? Ephesians 5:25.

Note: “It is no evidence of manliness in the husband for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. It does not increase respect for him to hear him quoting Scripture to sustain his claims to authority. It will not make him more manly to require his wife, the mother of his children, to act upon his plans as if they were infallible. The Lord has constituted the husband the head of the wife to be her protector; he is the house-band of the family, binding the members together, even as Christ is the head of the church and the Saviour of the mystical body. Let every husband who claims to love God carefully study the requirements of God in his position. Christ’s authority is exercised in wisdom, in all kindness and gentleness; so let the husband exercise his power and imitate the great Head of the church.” The Adventist Home, 215.

2.b. Is only the wife to submit? Ephesians 5:21, 22.

2.c. Ephesians 5:23 says that the husband is the head of the wife, but this has a qualification. If this qualification is not met, then the husband is not the head of the wife and she should not submit to him. What is this qualification? Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29, 33.

Tuesday

3 CHILDHOOD INFLUENCES

3.a. Why are discipline and training necessary in childhood? Proverbs 29:15.

 Note: “Children should never be flattered, for flattery is poison to them; but parents should show a sanctified, tender regard for them, thus gaining their confidence and love.” The Review and Herald, January 24, 1907.

“Whenever the mother can speak a word of commendation for the good conduct of her children, she should do so. She should encourage them by words of approval and looks of love.” Testimonies, vol. 3, 532.

“One of the characteristics that should be especially cherished and cultivated in every child is that self-forgetfulness which imparts to the life such an unconscious grace. Of all excellences of character this is one of the most beautiful, and for every true lifework it is one of the qualifications most essential.

“Children need appreciation, sympathy, and encouragement, but care should be taken not to foster in them a love of praise. It is not wise to give them special notice, or to repeat before them their clever sayings. The parent or teacher who keeps in view the true ideal of character and the possibilities of achievement, cannot cherish or encourage self-sufficiency. He will not encourage in the youth the desire or effort to display their ability or proficiency. He who looks higher than himself will be humble; yet he will possess a dignity that is not abashed or disconcerted by outward display or human greatness.” Education, 237.

 3.b.      What lesson can be learned from the choice of environment as revealed in the experience of Lot? Genesis 13:10–13.

 Note: “The sinful conduct of his [Lot’s] daughters was the result of the evil association of that vile place [the city of Sodom]. Its moral corruption had become so interwoven with their character that they could not distinguish between good and evil.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 167, 168.

Wednesday

4 EARLY CHILD DEVELOPMENT

4.a. What promise is given to those who wisely train up their children? Proverbs 22:6.

 Note: “Neither infants, children, or youth should hear an impatient word from father, mother, or any member of the household; for they receive impressions very early in life, and what parents make them today, they will be tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. The first lessons impressed upon the child are seldom forgotten. …

“The impressions made on the heart early in life are seen in after years. They may be buried, but they will seldom be obliterated.” Child Guidance, 193, 194.

4.b.      Name Biblical examples of good childhood training. 2 Timothy 1:5; 3:15; Luke 1:6, 15, 76, 80.

Thursday

5 EXCESSES AND INDULGENCES

5.a. What counsels are given against a lack of punishment or training? 1 Samuel 2:29, 30; 3:13, 14.

 Note: “In some families the wish of the child is law. Everything he desires is given him. Everything he dislikes, he is encouraged to dislike. Indulgence is supposed to make the child happy, but it only makes him restless and discontented. Indulgence has spoiled his appetite for plain, healthful food, and for the plain use of his time; self-gratification has done the work of unsettling his character for time and for eternity.” The Review and Herald, May 10, 1898.

“Do not educate your children to think that your love for them must be expressed by indulgence of their pride, extravagance, and love of display.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 451.

5.b.      What things better than wealth can be given a child to help him become a healthy adult? Proverbs 3:11–18.

 Note: “Better than any other inheritance of wealth you can give to your children will be the gift of a healthy body, a sound mind, and a noble character. Those who understand what constitutes life’s true success will be wise betimes. They will keep in view life’s best things in their choice of a home.

“Instead of dwelling where only the works of men can be seen, where the sights and sounds frequently suggest thoughts of evil, where turmoil and confusion bring weariness and disquietude, go where you can look upon the works of God. Find rest of spirit in the beauty and quietude and peace of nature. Let the eye rest on the green fields, the groves, and the hills. Look up to the blue sky, unobscured by the city’s dust and smoke, and breathe the invigorating air of heaven. Go where, apart from the distractions and dissipations of city life, you can give your children your companionship, where you can teach them to learn of God through His works, and train them for lives of integrity and usefulness.” The Ministry of Healing, 366, 367.

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    How is environment important in family life?

2    How can husbands and wives help each other in managing a home?

3    Describe how the home atmosphere and surrounding environment affect the early development of children.

4    What lessons should the child learn first even in babyhood from his parents?

5    What are the most important gifts we can give to our growing children?

Copyright 1995 Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.