family

What God Has Joined Together

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“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Matthew 19:6

What God puts together, man is not to divide. There are some things that belong together because God has put them together.

We are in a world and generation where everything that God has put together the devil is trying to tear apart. He aims at the home, the church, anything that God has joined together. He says separate, and he has a million imps at work to segregate, fragment, decimate, and cause disunion and anarchy—that is his program. “What God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Let’s look at some things that God has put together. “Lord, You have been favorable to Your land; You have brought back the captivity of Jacob. You have forgiven the iniquity of Your people; You have covered all their sin. You have taken away all Your wrath; You have turned from the fierceness of Your anger.

“Restore us, O God of our salvation, and cause Your anger toward us to cease. Will You be angry with us forever? Will You prolong Your anger to all generations? Will You not revive us again, that Your people may rejoice in You? Show us Your mercy, Lord, and grant us Your salvation.

“I will hear what God the Lord will speak, for He will speak peace to His people and to His saints; but let them not turn back to folly. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, that glory may dwell in our land.

“Mercy and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed. Truth shall spring out of the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven. Yes, the Lord will give what is good; and our land will yield its increase. Righteousness will go before Him, and shall make His footsteps our pathway.” Psalm 85:1–13

Notice the two great traits or attributes that are said to meet together. In a beautiful repetition of Hebrew poetry the thought is emphasized. Mercy and truth have met together. Righteousness and peace have kissed each other. Another of the translations puts it this way: “Loving kindness and truth have met together.” Love and truth, in other words, are joined together in God’s program. The New English Bible translates it: “Love and fidelity have come together. Justice and peace join hands.” Another translation: “Love and loyalty now meet. Righteousness and peace now embrace.”

But why the emphasis on the meeting of these two great attributes? Because the devil has been trying for 6,000 years to separate them. We may call them justice and mercy. We may call them truth and love. One emphasizes a strict hew to the character of God; the other emphasizes His mercy and forgiving kindness. The devil is trying to separate them, but what God has joined together, let not man separate.

No one truly understands one side of the character of God on this matter unless he understands the other side. The two are not disassociated, they are not antagonistic. Each one is a reflection of the other. Mercy and truth meet together. Righteousness and peace have kissed and embraced each other. This was wonderfully and gloriously demonstrated at the cross. At the cross justice and mercy, love and truth met and embraced, the complete manifestation of the character of God.

A most vivid and sublime presentation of this meeting is found in Selected Messages, Book 1, 349: “The grace of Christ and the law of God are inseparable.” Inseparable means you cannot separate them. The devil says, “I’ll try, just watch me.” But God says, “You cannot do it.” There are many things passing for the gospel today that separate these two attributes and when you separate them, you really have neither one when you get through. “In Jesus mercy and truth are met together, righteousness and peace have kissed each other. In His life and character He not only reveals the character of God, but the possibility of man. He was the representative of God and the exemplar of humanity. He presented to the world what humanity might become when united by faith with divinity.” Ibid.

Jesus was not only a substitute, He was a demonstration of what, by the grace of God, can be wrought out in the life of man.

“The only-begotten Son of God took upon Him the nature of man, and established His cross between earth and heaven. Through the cross, man was drawn to God, and God to man.” Ibid.

Here we see the sublime representation of what happened at the cross. Man was drawn to God, and God to man through the cross. Are you drawn to God through the cross? Did God love man more because of the cross? No. At the cross God saw a way, He demonstrated and revealed a way. God, representing justice upon the throne of the universe, saw a way that man could be pardoned without, in any way, weakening the structure and justice of the universe. He saw how man could be forgiven without setting the law aside. He saw how He could bend toward the repenting sinner without accepting or condoning the sin.

“Through the cross, man was drawn to God, and God to man. Justice moved from its high and awful position, and the heavenly hosts, the armies of holiness, drew near to the cross, bowing with reverence; for at the cross justice was satisfied.” Ibid.

Christ on the cross bore everything that justice required and tasted death for every man. He paid the debt. O I am so thankful for that love!

In The Desire of Ages, 762, these wonderful thoughts again are beautifully expressed: “God’s love has been expressed in His justice no less than in His mercy.” We think of the mercy of God as revealing His love. That mercy is infinite mercy. “Grace,” as we sing the song, “that is greater than all our sin.” An infinite love revealed in an infinite mercy. But this says that God’s love has been expressed in His justice no less than in His mercy. Justice is just as much an expression of God’s love as is His mercy. If we don’t agree with that, we either need a different view of justice or we need a different view of mercy. If we correctly understand God, we will see His love in His justice as well as in His mercy, and justice is the foundation of His throne and the fruit of His love.

The world is suffering today because of a permissive attitude toward lawbreaking. Criminals are roaming throughout the world, making life unsafe in both country and city. Why? There is a small chance that a criminal will be caught, a small chance that he will ever be convicted, and an equally small chance that if he is convicted that he will suffer the penalty to the nth degree. The law of averages is all on the side of the criminal and lawbreaking. Man has become so soft, so permissive, that the criminal, high-handed rebel that he is defies the law. The justice of God recognizes that the law must be enforced, wrapping up the peace and order of the entire universe.

What shall we say then of a so-called gospel, that would present the obedience of Christ as something which is a substitute for man’s obedience? It suggests that Christ died for man’s sin, and then man goes free to continue in transgression, yet he is saved because of the sacrifice of Christ. My friend, that is not the gospel.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is the power of God unto salvation from sin, to everyone who believes. In the gospel of Jesus Christ, God’s love is revealed “in His justice no less than in His mercy. Justice is the foundation of His throne, and the fruit of His love. It had been Satan’s purpose to divorce mercy from truth and justice. He sought to prove that the righteousness of God’s law is an enemy to peace. But Christ shows that in God’s plan they are indissolubly joined together; the one cannot exist without the other.” Ibid. There would be no real, lasting, worthwhile, effective mercy in this universe if God’s justice could be set aside and destroyed. Equally so there would be no real justice if God’s mercy could be destroyed. Mercy and justice cannot exist without one another.

When the bride and groom are joined in the wedding service, sometimes they not only join hands but they embrace. There’s a kiss of love and this is the picture here. There is no war between justice, mercy, and the character of God. They are joined, indissolubly joined together. And what God has joined together, let not man separate.

This must be true in our experience:

Truth is knowing God’s will.

Righteousness is doing God’s will.

Faith is man’s response, believing the truth and doing the righteousness; both are made possible through the gift of Christ. He is the truth (John 14:6). He has given man the gift of faith. Faith is one of the gifts of the Spirit. He has given man the gift of righteousness, righteousness that covers every transgression that’s passed to the penitent, righteousness which not only covers him but enters his very mind and soul that the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us.

“Walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Romans 8:1 KJV. This righteousness, truth, justice, and revelation of the will of God, knowing and doing it does not replace love. Love is not a substitute for righteousness, neither is faith a substitute for righteousness. Faith is man’s response to God’s truth and love is an expression of man’s response to God’s love manifested in obedience.

Galatians 5:5, 6 tell us: “For we through the Spirit eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness by faith. For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but faith working through love.” What avails? Faith which works through love. Faith is meant to work.

Do you know what people usually do when they purchase something, only to find that it doesn’t work? Send it back. James makes a very strong stand. He says that if your works aren’t the product of faith, then they are dead. Paul is right in harmony.

Working without either faith or love is legalism. The people of the world see those who strive to keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus and call them legalists. But they don’t really understand what legalism is. Legalism is attempting to do right without God, trying to be righteous without the forgiving and sanctifying grace of Jesus Christ. It is trying to keep the law without the indwelling Spirit and the sprinkling of the blood. Trying to obey God alone, is impossible to do, but with God, nothing is impossible. Anything God says to do can be done.

Where the word of the King is there is power. As many as received them gave He power. Peter, writing in his first epistle to the people of God scattered throughout various parts of the world, said, “[E]lect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:2. This was meant to include us, written for our admonition as well. This precious grace is unto obedience; that’s the purpose of it. Paul, in Romans 1:5, reading the margin calls it “the obedience of faith.” Does faith obey? Yes. If it doesn’t obey, it is not faith; it is presumption. Jesus says, “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.” John 17:17

As I was meditating on these texts, I was thinking about the beautiful rainbow. What color is the rainbow? It’s all colors. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, indigo, merging and blending. All those colors are in every ray of light. In the morning sunlight as those rays of glory stream down, every one of them has all the colors in it. You can’t see it, but it is there. You get a rain shower in the right position with reference to your eye and the sun, and those millions of raindrops act like little prisms breaking up or refracting the light into its various colors. The drops of water don’t add any color; they merely show you what is already there.

At the cross, as the storm and tempest of wrath against sin broke upon the head and heart of Jesus Christ, divine justice and mercy were seen as an expression of the infinite love of God. And now, around the throne forever is that rainbow, representing the union of justice and mercy in the plan of salvation. What God has joined together, let not man separate.

I am afraid of any message attempting to emphasize one at the expense of the other, or any message which seeks to pit one against the other, any message which would hurl epithets against those who would join them together. We need both. White light includes red, blue, yellow, and all the various blends and combinations of all colors. So it is with the character of God, summed up in that one word love, for God is love.

As we view that character and bring it to the prism of Calvary, we see justice and mercy, life and death, glory and shame, forgiveness, justification, sanctification, and righteousness imputed and imparted. As we see all these colors, as it were, of the white light of God’s character, let us not seek to run off with one of those colors and say, “This is it, I’ve got the whole thing.” No, because you don’t have the whole thing. We need every color of the rainbow to make the white light of God’s perfect character.

“Mercy and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed.” Psalm 85:10.

What God has joined together, let not man separate.

Pastor W. D. Frazee studied the Medical Missionary Course at the College of Medical Evangelists in Loma Linda, California. He was called to Utah as a gospel medical evangelist. During the Great Depression, when the church could not afford to hire any assistants, Pastor Frazee began inviting professionals to join him as volunteers. Thus began a faith ministry that would become the foundation for the establishment of the Wildwood Medical Missionary Institute in 1942. He believed that each person is unique, specially designed by the Lord, of infinite value, and has a special place and mission in this world which only he or she can fill. His life followed this principle and encouraged others to do the same.

Editorial – Teaching Courtesy to Children

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Jesus was always an example of true courtesy. He “was never cold and unapproachable. The afflicted often broke in upon His retreat when He needed refreshment and rest, but He had a kind look and an encouraging word for all. He was a pattern of true courtesy.” Testimonies, Vol. 4, 488

Heaven is a place where all the inhabitants are courteous to each other, and now is the time to become courteous as Jesus always was. Ellen White wrote about 150 years ago of the necessity of teaching courtesy to our children.

“No pleasanter sight is there than a family of young folks who are quick to perform little acts of attention toward their elders. … But if mamma never returns a smiling ‘Thank you, dear,’ if papa’s ‘Just what I was wanting, Susie,’ does not indicate that the little attention is appreciated, the children soon drop the habit. … By example, a thousand times more quickly than by precept, can children be taught to speak kindly to each other, to acknowledge favors, to be gentle and unselfish, to be thoughtful and considerate of the comfort of the family.

“Scolding is never allowable; reproof and criticism from parents must have their time and place, but should never intrude so far upon the social life of the family as to render the home uncomfortable. A serious word in private will generally cure a fault more easily than many public criticisms. In some families, a spirit of contradiction and discussion mars the harmony… . It interferes seriously with social freedom when unimportant inaccuracies are watched for, and exposed for the mere sake of exposure. Brothers and sisters also sometimes acquire an almost unconscious habit of teasing each other, half in earnest, half in fun. This is particularly uncomfortable for everybody else, whatever doubtful pleasure the parties themselves may experience.

“In the home where true courtesy prevails, it seems to meet you on the very threshold. You feel the kindly welcome on entering. No rude eyes scan your dress. No angry voices are heard upstairs. No sullen children are sent from the room. No peremptory orders are given to cover the delinquencies of housekeepers or servants. A delightful atmosphere pervades the house—unmistakable, yet indescribable.” The Health Reformer, February 1, 1874

Bible Study – The Christian Family

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May 8 – 14, 2022

Key Text

“That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as pillars, sculptured in palace style.” Psalm 144:12

Study Help: Child Guidance, 318–325, 434–443

Introduction

“The greatest evidence of the power of Christianity that can be presented to the world is a well-ordered, well-disciplined family. This will recommend the truth as nothing else can; for it is a living witness of its practical power upon the heart.” Testimonies, Vol. 4, 304

Sunday

1 A LITTLE HEAVEN ON EARTH

1.a. In order to have a happy home, what does God’s word enjoin upon both husbands and wives? 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4; Ephesians 5:33

 Note: “Do not try to compel each other to do as you wish. You cannot do this and retain each other’s love. Manifestations of self will destroy the peace and happiness of the home. Let not your married life be one of contention. If you do, you will both be unhappy. Be kind in speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance of Christlikeness.” Testimonies, Vol. 7, 47

1.b. How does Inspiration describe a true Christian home? Psalm 128; Isaiah 61:9. How can the home be a blessing or a curse?

Note: “We must let Christ into our hearts and homes if we would walk in the light. Home should be made all that the word implies. It should be a little heaven upon earth, a place where the affections are cultivated instead of being studiously repressed. Our happiness depends upon this cultivation of love, sympathy, and true courtesy to one another.” Testimonies, Vol. 3, 539

Monday

2 PARENTS AND CHILDREN

2.a. What do the Scriptures say about the children of God-fearing parents? Psalm 127:3; Proverbs 17:6; Isaiah 54:13

Note: “Let it be remembered that children are not to be treated as though they were our own personal property. Children are the heritage of the Lord, and the plan of redemption includes their salvation as well as ours. They have been entrusted to parents in order that they might be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, that they might be qualified to do their work in time and eternity.” The Adventist Home, 280

“Children are the heritage of the Lord, and unless parents give them such a training as will enable them to keep the way of the Lord, they neglect solemn duty. It is not the will or purpose of God that children shall become coarse, rough, uncourteous, disobedient, unthankful, unholy, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. The Scriptures state that this condition of society shall be a sign of the last days.” Child Guidance, 229

“They [children] are to be guided in the path of obedience, not indulged in appetite or vanity.” The Adventist Home, 279

2.b. What command does the Lord give to all parents who wish to see their children saved? Deuteronomy 6:4–7; 11:18, 19; Proverbs 22:6

 Note: “Throughout the week let parents remember that their home is to be a school in which their children shall be prepared for the courts above. Let their words be right words. No words which their children should not hear are to escape their lips. Let the spirit be kept free from irritation. Parents, during the week live as in the sight of a holy God, who has given you children to train for Him. Train for Him the little church in your home, that on the Sabbath all may be prepared to worship in the Lord’s sanctuary. Each morning and evening present your children to God as His blood-bought heritage. Teach them that it is their highest duty and privilege to love and serve God.

“Parents should be particular to make the worship of God an object lesson for their children. Passages of scripture should be more often on their lips, especially those passages that prepare the heart for religious service. The precious words might well be often repeated: ‘My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him’ (Psalm 62:5).” Testimonies, Vol. 6, 354

Tuesday

3 THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

3.a. What are children required to do regarding their parents? Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1–3

Note: “There is no period in life when children are excused from honoring their parents. This solemn obligation is binding upon every son and daughter and is one of the conditions to their prolonging their lives upon the land which the Lord will give the faithful. This is not a subject unworthy of notice, but a matter of vital importance. The promise is upon condition of obedience. If you obey, you shall live long in the land which the Lord your God gives you. If you disobey, you shall not prolong your life in that land.” The Adventist Home, 292, 293

“Children, do you desire eternal life? Then respect and honor your parents. Do not wound and grieve their hearts, and cause them to spend sleepless nights in anxiety and distress over your case. If you have sinned in not rendering love and obedience to them, begin now to redeem the past. You cannot afford to take any other course; for it means to you the loss of eternal life. The Heart-searcher knows what is your attitude toward your parents; for He is weighing moral character in the golden scales of the heavenly sanctuary. O, confess your neglect of your parents, confess your indifference toward them, and your contempt of God’s holy commandment.” The Youth’s Instructor, June 22, 1893

3.b. What is one of the signs of the soon coming of our Lord Jesus Christ? Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2

Note: “The sin which exists in this generation among children is that they are ‘disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God’ (2 Timothy 3:2, 4). And this state of things exists to such an extent that it is made a subject of prophecy as one of the signs that we are living in the last days of time.” Letters to Young Lovers, 53

“The word of God abounds in precepts and counsels enjoining respect for parents. It impresses upon the young the sacred duty of loving and cherishing those who have guided them through infancy, childhood, and youth, up to manhood and womanhood, and who are now in great degree dependent upon them for peace and happiness. The Bible gives no uncertain sound on this subject; nevertheless, its teachings have been greatly disregarded.” Fundamentals of Christian Education, 101

Wednesday

4 A THREEFOLD POWER

4.a. What family-related prophecy will be fulfilled in these last days? Malachi 4:5, 6; Luke 1:17

Note: “The restoration and uplifting of humanity begins in the home. The work of parents underlies every other. Society is composed of families, and is what the heads of families make it. Out of the heart are ‘the issues of life’ (Proverbs 4:23); and the heart of the community, of the church, and of the nation is the household. The well-being of society, the success of the church, the prosperity of the nation, depend upon home influences.” The Ministry of Healing, 349

“Those who bear the last message of mercy to the world should feel it their duty to instruct parents in regard to home religion. Their great reformatory movement must begin in presenting to fathers and mothers and children the principles of the law of God. As the claims of the law are presented, and men and women are convicted of their duty to render obedience, show them the responsibility of their decision, not only for themselves but for their children.” Child Guidance, 556

4.b. When fathers, mothers, and children are united in one happy family, what will be the result? Psalm 144:12

 Note: “More than human wisdom is needed by parents at every step, that they may understand how best to educate their children for a useful, happy life here, and for higher service and greater joy hereafter. Fathers and mothers, ever remember that to you is committed a sacred trust. The power of example is very great. If you fail to select proper society for your children and allow them to associate with persons of questionable morals, you place them or permit them to place themselves, in a school where lessons of depravity will be taught and practiced.” The Review and Herald, September 13, 1881

“Parents, you have a solemn responsibility resting upon you. It is your duty to cooperate with Christ in aiding your children to form right characters. Jesus can do nothing without your cooperation. It is not mercy or kindness to permit a child to have its own way, to submit to its rule, and to neglect to correct it on the ground that you love it too well to punish it. What kind of love is it that permits your child to develop traits of character that will make him and everyone else miserable? Away with such love! True love will look out for the present and eternal good of the soul.” Ibid., July 16, 1895

Thursday

5 FAITHFUL WORK REWARDED

5.a. In eternity—when the saved are secure in God’s kingdom—what will be the parents’ testimony? Isaiah 8:18

 Note: “When the judgment shall sit, and the books shall be opened; when the ‘well done’ of the great Judge is pronounced, and the crown of immortal glory is placed upon the brow of the victor, many will raise their crowns in sight of the assembled universe and, pointing to their mother, say, ‘She made me all I am through the grace of God. Her instruction, her prayers, have been blessed to my eternal salvation.’ ” Messages to Young People, 330

“Mothers, remember that in your work the Creator of the universe will give you help. In His strength, and through His name, you can lead your children to be overcomers. Teach them to look to God for strength. Tell them that He hears their prayers. Teach them to overcome evil with good. Teach them to exert an influence that is elevating and ennobling. Lead them to unite with God, and then they will have strength to resist the strongest temptation. They will then receive the reward of the overcomer.” Child Guidance, 172, 173

5.b. What will be the reward of the Christian family when they enter God’s kingdom? Psalm 132:12

 Note: “He [Jesus] tells you to be a partaker of His joy, and what is that? It is the joy of seeing of the travail of your soul, fathers. It is the joy of seeing that your efforts, mothers, are rewarded. Here are your children; the crown of life is upon their heads, and the angels of God immortalize the names of the mothers whose efforts have won their children to Jesus Christ.” Child Guidance, 567, 568

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    What characterizes a true Christian family?

2    Name some successful key elements in rearing God-fearing children.

3    What special challenge do parents face in these last days?

4    Why will truly Christian homes become rare in the end of time?

5    What is needed in order to see our children in the kingdom of God?

Copyright 2000, Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Bible Study – Marriage—a Divine Institution

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This We Believe 

May 1 – 7, 2022

Key Text

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

Study Help: Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 63–65

Introduction

“As the Creator joined the hands of the holy pair in wedlock, saying, A man shall ‘leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one’ (Genesis 2:24), He enunciated the law of marriage for all the children of Adam to the close of time.” Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 63, 64

Sunday

1 GOD INSTITUTED MARRIAGE

1.a. After Adam named every animal, what event took place? Genesis 2:18, 21, 22. How does God regard marriage? Hebrews 13:4

Note: “God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. … When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.”

“Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 46

Monday

2 A JOYOUS OCCASION

2.a. What event shows that the Lord approved the marriage institution? John 2:1, 2

Note: “Christ came to our world to cause heavenly light to shine amid the moral darkness. He came to make men and women understand that the marriage institution is sacred. His presence at Cana gave high endorsement to this ordinance.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 10, 188

“Christ came not to destroy this [sacred and holy] institution, but to restore it to its original sanctity and elevation. He came to restore the moral image of God in man, and He began His work by sanctioning the marriage relation. He who made the first holy pair, and who created for them a paradise, has put His seal upon the marriage institution, first celebrated in Eden.” Ibid., 203

“In both the Old and the New Testament the marriage relation is employed to represent the tender and sacred union that exists between Christ and His people, the redeemed ones whom He has purchased at the cost of Calvary.” Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 64

2.b. What do the Scriptures say about a happy home? Psalm 128

Note: “The Scriptures state that both Jesus and His disciples were called to the marriage feast [at Cana]. Christ has given Christians no sanction for saying, when invited to a marriage, We ought not to be present on so joyous an occasion. By attending this feast Christ taught us that He would have us rejoice with those who rejoice in the observance of His statutes. He never discouraged the festivities of mankind when they were carried on in accordance with the laws of heaven. A gathering that Christ honored by His presence, it is right that His followers should attend. After attending this feast, Christ attended many others, sanctifying them by His presence and instruction.” The Signs of the Times, August 30, 1899

“ ‘If our happiness consists in making others happy, we are happy indeed. The true disciple will not live to gratify beloved self, but for Christ, and for the good of His little ones. He is to sacrifice his ease, his pleasure, his comfort, his convenience, his will, and his own selfish wishes for Christ’s cause, or never reign with Him on His throne.’ ” Testimonies, Vol. 1, 85, 86

“Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other.” Ibid., Vol. 7, 46

Tuesday

3 THE ROLES OF MARRIAGE

3.a. The Bible specifies joint obligations on husband and wife. Sometimes husbands cite the wives’ obligations forgetting that there are mutual obligations, and one spouse cannot be held hostage to fulfill their obligations if the other spouse is not fulfilling theirs. What are these joint obligations? Ephesians 5:22–31; Colossians 3:19

Note: “The Lord has constituted the husband the head of the wife to be her protector; he is the house-band of the family, binding the members together. … Christ’s authority is exercised in wisdom, in all kindness and gentleness; so let the husband exercise his power and imitate the great Head of the church.” The Faith I Live By, 259

3.b. Specify the right attitudes in contrast to the wrong ones in a husband and father. Genesis 18:18, 19; Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:7–9

Note: “The father should enforce in his family the sterner virtues—energy, integrity, honesty, patience, courage, diligence, and practical usefulness. And what he requires of his children he himself should practice, illustrating these virtues in his own manly bearing.” The Ministry of Healing, 391

“It is no evidence of manliness in the husband for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. It does not increase respect for him to hear him quoting scripture to sustain his claims to authority. It will not make him more manly to require his wife, the mother of his children, to act upon his plans as if they were infallible.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 13, 82

“Many husbands do not sufficiently understand and appreciate the cares and perplexities which their wives endure, generally confined all day to an unceasing round of household duties. They frequently come to their homes with clouded brows, bringing no sunshine to the family circle. If the meals are not on time, the tired wife, who is frequently housekeeper, nurse, cook, and housemaid, all in one, is greeted with faultfinding. The exacting husband may condescend to take the worrying child from the weary arms of its mother that her arrangements for the family meal may be hastened; but if the child is restless and frets in the arms of its father, he will seldom feel it his duty to act the nurse and seek to quiet and soothe it. He does not pause to consider how many hours the mother has endured the little one’s fretfulness, but calls out impatiently, ‘Here, Mother, take your child.’ Is it not his child as well as hers? Is he not under a natural obligation to patiently bear his part of the burden of rearing his children?” The Adventist Home, 224, 225 [Emphasis author’s.]

Wednesday

4 THE QUEEN OF THE HOME

4.a. How does the Bible describe a true, virtuous, Christian wife? Proverbs 18:22; 19:14; 31:10, 11, 30

Note: “The husband is the head of the family, as Christ is the head of the church; and any course which the wife may pursue to lessen his influence and lead him to come down from that dignified, responsible position is displeasing to God. It is the duty of the wife to yield her wishes and will to her husband. Both should be yielding, but the word of God gives preference to the judgment of the husband. And it will not detract from the dignity of the wife to yield to him whom she has chosen to be her counselor, adviser, and protector.” Testimonies, Vol. 1, 307, 308

“Many husbands stop at the words, ‘Wives, submit yourselves,’ but we will read the conclusion of the same injunction, which is, ‘As it is fit in the Lord.’ ” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 13, 74

4.b. What injunction does the Lord direct to the queen of the home? 1 Peter 3:1, 2; Philippians 2:14

Note: “While the mistress of the household may perform her outward duties with exactitude, she may be continually crying out against the slavery to which she is doomed, and exaggerate her responsibilities and restrictions by comparing her lot with what she styles the higher life of woman, and cherishing unsanctified longings for an easier position, free from the petty cares and exactions that vex her spirit. She little dreams that in that widely different sphere of action to which she aspires trials full as vexations, though perhaps of a different sort, would certainly beset her. While she is fruitlessly yearning for a different life she is nourishing a sinful discontent and making her home very unpleasant for her husband and children.

“The true wife and mother will pursue an entirely opposite course from this. She will perform her duties with dignity and cheerfulness, not considering that it is degrading to do with her own hands whatever is necessary for her to do in a well-ordered household. If she looks to God for her strength and comfort, and in His wisdom and fear seeks to do her daily duty, she will bind her husband to her heart, and see her children coming to maturity, honorable men and women, having moral stamina to follow the example of their mother.” The Health Reformer, August 1, 1877

Thursday

5 A LIFELONG BOND

5.a. In harmony with the word of God, how long does the marriage vow bind husband and wife? Mark 10:6–12; Romans 7:1–3; 1 Corinthians 7:39

 Note: “This [marriage] vow links the destinies of the two individuals with bonds which nought but the hand of death should sever.” Testimonies, Vol. 4, 507

“What of the marriage relation today? Is it not perverted and defiled, made even as it was in Noah’s day? Divorce after divorce is recorded in the daily papers. This is the marriage of which Christ speaks when He says that before the Flood they were ‘marrying and giving in marriage’ (Matthew 24:38).” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 7, 56

5.b. If there is separation between husband and wife and no adultery has been committed, what are the two alternatives? Malachi 2:13–16; 1 Corinthians 7:10–14

 Note: “Jesus came to our world to rectify his [man’s] mistakes and to restore the moral image of God in man. Wrong sentiments in regard to marriage had found a place in the minds of the teachers of Israel. They were making of none effect the sacred institution of marriage. Man was becoming so hardhearted that he would for the most trivial excuse separate from his wife. …

“Christ came to correct these evils, and His first miracle was wrought on the occasion of the marriage. Thus He announced to the world that marriage, when kept pure and undefiled, is a sacred institution.” Manuscript Releases, Vol. 10, 198

5.c. Because of various kinds of sin, some marriages must be dissolved. What does the Bible say about remarriage in such an instance? Matthew 19:3–9

Note: “Dear Brother D: I hoped the change which seemed to take place in your wife at the meeting in Chicago would be lasting, and was so grateful to our heavenly Father when I heard her confession, for I thought that a most severe task was lifted from my shoulders; but the … dangers and difficulties which she will create if her whims are gratified, are almost incredible to those who do not understand the spirit which actuates her. …

“However earnestly her husband may endeavor to pursue a straightforward course to serve God, she will be his evil angel, seeking to lead him away from righteousness. In her own estimation she is the idol he must worship; in fact, she is Satan’s agent, seeking to occupy the place where God should be. She has followed the impulses of her own unconsecrated heart until Satan has almost complete control of her. …

“Unless there is a change, a time will come soon when this lower nature in the wife, controlled by a will as strong as steel, will bring down the strong will of the husband to her own low level. … In this case it is not the woman whom Brother D is dealing with, but a desperate, satanic spirit. The Lord has a work for Brother D to do; but if he is overcome by these outbursts on the part of his wife, he is a lost man, and she is not saved by the sacrifice. …

“His best course with this child-wife, so overbearing, so unyielding, and so uncontrollable, is to take her home, and leave her with the mother who has made her what she is. Though it must be painful, this is the only thing for him to do, if he would not be ruined spiritually, sacrificed to the demon of hysterics and satanic imaginings. Satan takes entire control of her temper and will, and uses them like desolating hail to beat down every obstruction. Her husband can do her no good, but is doing himself incalculable harm, and robbing God of the talents and influence He has given.

“Sister D is determined to rule or ruin. I was shown that she has so thoroughly yielded herself into Satan’s hands that her husband fears for her reason, but he will make one of the gravest mistakes of his life if he permits himself to be controlled by Satan through the device of his wife. I tell you plainly, she is controlled by demons, and if these evil spirits have their way, your liberty, Brother D, your manhood, is gone; you are a slave to her caprices. … She is just as much possessed by a demon as was the man who tore and cut himself when Jesus cast out the devils. … Brother D must let Satan rage, and not allow himself to be cut off from religious privileges because his wife desires it.” Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, 76–78. (See Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, 76–78 for Mrs. White’s complete counsel to Brother D.)

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    How does the Bible describe the creation of the woman?

2    When only can a wedding be a truly joyous occasion, and why?

3    How can a husband improve his relationship with his wife?

4    How can a wife improve her relationship with her husband?

5    What is the evidence that God in His wisdom designed marriage to be a lifelong vow?

Copyright 2000, Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Purpose and Pleasure

by

If this Covid-19 pandemic has done anything good, it would be the opportunity to be together as a family. Too often, the cares and demands of the world: making a living, the care and upkeep of the physical dwelling, even participation in church activities and responsibilities, have made us unaware of the needs within our own home. As a minister of the gospel, I spend my time tending to the needs of others, so when our ability to freely move about was restricted and I had the opportunity to spend more time with my family, I was able to more clearly see the needs of my own house and my own life.

We hear so many things these days about the end of time, the mark of the beast, the slow erosion of religious liberty, forces in the background manipulating everything in the world; and they cause us concern. But as a Seventh-day Adventist parent, we often hear the words we never want to hear from a child. “Dad. Mom. I already know all this stuff. I’ve heard it my whole life. I get it about love, but this is all over my head and I just want to live my life, hang out with my friends, do and be what I want.”

The first thought is, what did I do wrong? Young people losing or leaving their faith and the church is happening throughout Adventism. God has a message for us. He has a purpose for your life, youth and adult. And we can find that message in one of the most familiar stories in the Bible. Beginning in Judges 13, we find the story of Samson, a young man for whom God had a purpose, but who had his own ideas about how he wanted to live his life. The story of Samson is one both of tragedy and redemption.

Judges 13:1–5 says, “Again the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord delivered them into the hand of the Philistines for forty years. Now there was a certain man from Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren and had no children. And the Angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, ‘Indeed now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean. For behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. And no razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.’ ”

Then we see that Manoah and his wife sought the messenger and asked God to send him again so that Manoah might hear the instructions that had earlier been given to his wife regarding their son. He returns and at first they believe He is a prophet, but as the conversation continues, Manoah and his wife realize that the Angel of the Lord who has delivered this message to them is actually the Son of God; that through Him, they have been speaking with God (Judges 13:22). Finally, in Judges 13:24 and 25 we read, “So the woman bore a son and called his name Samson; and the child grew, and the Lord blessed him. And the Spirit of the Lord began to move upon him … .”

As a Nazarite, an individual would be consecrated to God and a vow taken to commit himself for a holy purpose. Numbers 6:3, 4 gives us a clear understanding of the life of a Nazarite. It says, “… he shall separate himself from wine and similar drink; he shall drink neither vinegar made from wine nor vinegar made from similar drink; neither shall he drink any grape juice, nor eat fresh grapes or raisins. All the days of his separation he shall eat nothing that is produced by the grapevine, from seed to skin.” The Nazarite was held to a higher standard regarding diet much like Seventh-day Adventists today. Continuing in Numbers 6, “All the days of the vow of his separation no razor shall come upon his head; until the days are fulfilled for which he separated himself to the Lord, he shall be holy. Then he shall let the locks of the hair of his head grow. All the days that he separates himself to the Lord he shall not go near a dead body … he shall be holy to the Lord” (verses 5, 6, 8).

Judges 13:5, 6 and Numbers 6:5 confirm,  that Samson’s hair was divided into seven locks and was not to be cut, as a Nazarite’s hair was a sign of his consecration to God. The seven locks is a parallel to the seventh-day Sabbath which is a sign of consecration of those who keep it. God’s purpose for Samson was that he would begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.

So, we find that from the day Samson was born, he was consecrated to the Lord for a holy purpose. He took a vow of commitment to that purpose. He refrained from strong drink and ate according to a specific diet. Also, his hair was never to be cut as a sign of his consecration to God. It is likely that he was reminded daily of his holy purpose, not just by his parents, but by his diet, the length of his hair and by the fact that he could not partake in certain things. He knew he was to deliver his people from the Philistines. A weighty expectation to live with.

As Samson grew, he began to associate with the Philistines and friendships developed. When he became a young man, he was well aware of the Nazarite vow he had taken and the restrictions that accompanied that vow, but he began to look around and the world looked inviting. He began to socialize more with the Philistines when a young woman came to his attention in the city of Timnah whom he determined should become his wife.

Samson went to his parents and said, “ ‘I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, get her for me as a wife’ ” (Judges 14:2).

His parents’ response, found in verse 3, was, “ ‘Is there no woman among the daughters of your brethren, or among all my people, that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?’ And Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me, for she pleases me well.’ ”

“Just as he was entering upon manhood, the time when he must execute his divine mission—the time above all others when he should have been true to God—Samson connected himself with the enemies of Israel. He did not ask whether he could better glorify God when united with the object of his choice, or whether he was placing himself in a position where he could not fulfill the purpose to be accomplished by his life.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 563.

Samson’s only interest was in pleasing himself. “To all who seek first to honor Him, God has promised wisdom; but there is no promise to those who are bent upon self-pleasing.” Ibid.

Though his parents tried to dissuade him, Samson was determined to go his own way, so Manoah and his wife yielded to his wishes and he married the woman from Timnah.

Friends, consider how Samson is an example of what is happening in the Seventh-day Adventist Church today, primarily with our young people. As children of God, we also are called to be separate, consecrated for a holy purpose. 1 John 3:1 tells us, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!”

In addition, notice what we find in 1 Peter 1:15: “… but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct.” We have been called to be holy in our conversation and lifestyle. We read further, “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). Here is a picture of God calling Christians to be separate from the world like the Nazarites of the Old Testament.

Luke 4:18 and 19 tells us what our mission is. “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.” This is the same message Jesus gave to the apostles in Matthew 28:19 and 20, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you.” This is a God-given commission for His people.

As God’s people, we have been instructed regarding our diet (see Revelation 22:2). We have been given the Sabbath day as a holy day, consecrated and set apart to commune with God (see Ezekiel 20:12). Samson was strong because he did not cut his hair, but his strength was not in his hair, rather in his relationship with and obedience to God. It is the same with the Sabbath. The power is not in the Sabbath, but in our relationship with God and that we obey His commandment to keep the seventh day holy. Our purpose is to love God and love man; and in loving and serving Him, we will desire to love and serve others (see Matthew 22:37–39). Once we know what God has done for us, we will want to share it with others. The more time we spend with Christ, the more feelings and affections we will have for other people.

We are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and spirit and when we do this, when He is in our hearts, then His purpose for our lives will become our pleasure. We will seek to fulfill His purpose for our lives. Without Him in our hearts, we will love the things that turn us from His purpose. There are so many things that can and will distract us from doing God’s purpose, if we allow it. This is particularly so for young people.

We preach the three angels’ messages found in Revelation 14:6–12 warning people of the coming judgment. We preach about Babylon and prophecy, the seal of God and the mark of the beast. We raise our children with the Bible. We have camp meetings, Revelation seminars, evangelistic meetings. We live a temperate lifestyle. We keep the Sabbath. We provide biblical instruction to our children and diligently work to raise them to follow and obey the Lord. But even with all of this, everything that is available to them, they do something that seems so contrary to what we would expect.

Let me give you an example. We have all heard the name J. P. Morgan. His father, Junius Spencer Morgan was a financial businessman who learned and trained under the house of Rothschild. His purpose and intention for his son was to make him a better financial investment businessman than he was himself. Did he succeed? Yes, he did. The father was responsible for how the son presented himself. This is a worldly example. How much more then, as Christians, are we responsible for how our children are raised?

We live in a broken world and because of that, there are broken homes, so this may not apply to everyone in the strictest sense. Not all homes have the privilege of having two parents in the household, but in those homes where both parents are present, we need to be diligent that we are taking advantage of the opportunity of being in touch with our children, of connecting with them.

There are Adventist parents who come to the pastor or Sabbath School teacher because they are having trouble with their child and expect the pastor or teacher to fix the problem. The question to be asked is, “What are you, the parents, doing?” Many fathers and mothers place the responsibility of seeing their child converted into the hands of others. Do not depend on others to do the work of training your children in the way that they should go. Follow the example of Manoah and his wife before and after the birth of Samson, be responsible for your own life and relationship with God and bear the responsibility toward your children, with prayer and searching for God’s guidance in their lives as well.

We must heed the guidance provided in The Adventist Home, page 190, “Some parents do not understand their children and are not really acquainted with them. There is often a great distance between parents and children. If the parents would enter more fully into the feelings of their children and draw out what is in their hearts, it would have a beneficial influence upon them.

“The father and the mother should work together in full sympathy with each other. They should make themselves companions to their children.

“Parents should study the best and most successful manner of winning the love and confidence of their children, that they may lead them in the right path. They should reflect the sunshine of love upon the household.”

We must encourage and commend our children. As Adventists, we tend to focus on all the don’ts and when a child does something right, our feeling is, that’s what they were supposed to do. We seem to feel that encouragement and commendation are bad, but notice what it says, “Young children love companionship and can seldom enjoy themselves alone. They yearn for sympathy and tenderness. That which they enjoy they think will please mother also, and it is natural for them to go to her with their little joys and sorrows. The mother should not wound their sensitive hearts by treating with indifference matters that, though trifling to her, are of great importance to them. Her sympathy and approval are precious. An approving glance, a word of encouragement or commendation, will be like sunshine in their hearts, often making the whole day happy.

“Parents should encourage their children to confide in them and unburden to them their heart griefs, their little daily annoyances and trials.

“Kindly instruct them and bind them to your hearts. It is a critical time for children. Influences will be thrown around them to wean them from you which you must counteract. Teach them to make you their confidant. Let them whisper in your ear their trials and joys.

“Children would be saved from many evils if they would be more familiar with their parents. Parents should encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank with them, to come to them with their difficulties and, when they are perplexed as to what course is right, to lay the matter just as they view it before the parents and ask their advice.” The Adventist Home, 190, 191.

This also requires that the father and mother are connected, individually, with God, and by God’s grace, to each other. Without this, there will only be discord and strife. There are books and many other resources that can be of help. I strongly recommend The Adventist Home.

We must ask ourselves these questions: How much time do I spend praying for my spouse? How much time do I spend praying for my children? How often do I interact with them and ask them how they are feeling, how they are doing? If your response is, “Not enough,” then a change must be made. We must make ourselves available to our children, even be vulnerable. Let them see that you struggle with weakness just as they do.

Do not imagine that there is no help at all from your church family. Older individuals with more life experience and married couples can be guardians and a help to young people. Even the pastor and teacher can help, but the responsibility of the salvation of your children belongs to you.

Following are four reasons that I believe explain why young people are losing and leaving their faith.

  1. Compromise – Is there compromise in your home? If so, it is likely that as your children grow they will begin to do things they have observed rather than as they were taught. For example, have you violated the edges of the Sabbath by heading to an activity or event that is not acceptable for the Sabbath rest and before the Sabbath hours are completely passed?
  2. Legalism/Too much head knowledge – We have so much powerful information/doctrine that is stimulating to the mind. The Seventh-day Adventist teachings really grab the intellect. But the danger is that we can fill our young people with so much head knowledge, yet we leave out the Giver and the Teacher of the doctrine. There is nothing wrong with knowledge and doctrine, but if what you teach does not lead your children to a relationship with God that changes the heart and mind, then it is meaningless.
  3. Turned off by the Church – How often do we observe that God’s people are not perfect? Gossiping, backbiting, church politics, hypocrisy; all these things can simply wear out a person. These may be legitimate reasons to become disillusioned by your church, but they are not real reasons to leave.
  4. They Just Decide to Leave – This probably surprises us the most, mainly because the general feeling is that if our children do not stay in the faith, we must have done something wrong. Let me ask a question: Can you think of a single case in the history of the world, after sin entered, that there were perfect parents? No, not one. But here is another question: When Lucifer sinned, what did God do wrong? Parents do the best they can. They raise their children to love the Saviour. They encourage them to read the Bible and learn its promises. God gave us all a free will. You can train your children while you can, but when they reach a certain age, they choose for themselves. Too many parents carry the burden that because their children have left the faith, it must be their fault in some way when it is simply that many Adventist young people choose to do as they please.

Let’s look again at Samson. “And he came up and told his father and his mother, and said, ‘I have seen a woman in Timnah … Get her for me, for she pleases me well.’ ” Samson was clear on the purpose God had for him. He had lived his whole life as a Nazarite, but he chose to follow his own desires. He was not considering what would bring glory to God or if he was placing himself in a position where he would be unable to fulfill that purpose.

Maybe you relate to the story of Samson. Maybe you are a parent watching your child potentially throwing his or her life away on frivolous pursuits. Maybe you are a child who is turned off by the church or is just tired of all the knowledge and strictness of the faith. You need to know that it was God’s pleasure to die for you. Hebrews 12:2 says, “… looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” His pleasure was to fulfill His purpose in saving you and me. You, too, can have pleasure in following His purpose for your life.

I am reminded of a song written years ago by Keith Green. He lived a life of rock and roll, but God changed his heart. Maybe this is you.

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to You and dead to me

But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it up
With oil and wine
The oil is You
Your Spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of Your blood

My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to You and dead to me

We must ask the Lord to help us see that doing what is outside His will, will hurt us. But when we do what pleases Him, we will never go wrong.

(Unless appearing in quoted references or otherwise identified, Bible texts are from the New King James Version.)

Pastor Damien Jenkins was raised in a non-religious home, but at the age of 18 was introduced to the Gospel and his life was forever changed. Today he is pastor of the Water of Life Free Seventh-day Adventist church in Hohenwald, TN. He enjoys apologetics, Bible history, expounding on the topic of righteousness by faith and making the Bible simple and easy to understand.

Bible Study Guides – Love and Self-respect

by

May 2 – 8, 2021

Key Text

“We love Him, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

 Study Help: The Adventist Home, 50–54; Testimonies, vol. 2, 200–215.

Introduction

“The unconsecrated heart cannot originate or produce it. Only in the heart where Jesus reigns is it found. … In the heart renewed by divine grace, love is the ruling principle of action.” The Acts of the Apostles, 551.

Sunday

1 LOVE AS A PRINCIPLE OF ACTION

1.a. What is love? 1 John 4:16.

Note: “Love is power. Intellectual and moral strength are involved in this principle, and cannot be separated from it. The power of wealth has a tendency to corrupt and destroy; the power of force is strong to do hurt; but the excellence and value of pure love consist in its efficiency to do good, and to do nothing else than good. Whatsoever is done out of pure love, be it ever so little or contemptible in the sight of men, is wholly fruitful; for God regards more with how much love one worketh than the amount he doeth. Love is of God. The unconverted heart cannot originate nor produce this plant of heavenly growth, which lives and flourishes only where Christ reigns.” Testimonies, vol. 2, 135.

1.b.      What does true love lead one to do? Romans 13:10; John 15:9–14.

Note: “Christ’s love is deep and earnest, flowing like an irrepressible stream to all who will accept it. There is no selfishness in His love. If this heaven-born love is an abiding principle in the heart, it will make itself known, not only to those we hold most dear in sacred relationship, but to all with whom we come in contact. It will lead us to bestow little acts of attention, to make concessions, to perform deeds of kindness, to speak tender, true, encouraging words. It will lead us to sympathize with those whose hearts hunger for sympathy.” “Ellen G. White Comments,” The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 5, 1140.

“Love is a plant of heavenly origin. It is not unreasonable; it is not blind. It is pure and holy. But the passion of the natural heart is another thing altogether. While pure love will take God into all its plans, and will be in perfect harmony with the Spirit of God, passion will be headstrong, rash, unreasonable, defiant of all restraint, and will make the object of its choice an idol.” The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.

Monday

2 LOVE IN MARRIAGE

2.a. Why was marriage largely associated with sin in Noah’s day? Luke 17:26, 27.

Note: “There is in itself no sin in eating and drinking, or in marrying and giving in marriage. It was lawful to marry in the time of Noah, and it is lawful to marry now, if that which is lawful is properly treated, and not carried to sinful excess. …

“In Noah’s day it was the inordinate, excessive love of that which in itself was lawful, when properly used, that made marriage sinful before God. There are many who are losing their souls in this age of the world, by becoming absorbed in the thoughts of marriage, and in the marriage relation itself. …

“God has placed men in the world, and it is their privilege to eat, to drink, to trade, to marry, and to be given in marriage; but it is safe to do these things only in the fear of God. We should live in this world with reference to the eternal world.” The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.

2.b.      What parallel of marriage does Scripture give in illustrating love? Ephesians 5:25, 26.

Note: “In all the deportment of one who possesses true love, the grace of God will be shown. Modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality, and religion will characterize every step toward an alliance in marriage.” The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.

Tuesday

3 TESTING YOUR LOVE

3.a. How is genuine love demonstrated? 1 John 3:16–18.

Note: “The proof of our love is given in a Christlike spirit, a willingness to impart the good things God has given us, a readiness to practice self-denial and self-sacrifice in order to help advance the cause of God and suffering humanity. Never should we pass by the object that calls for our liberality. We reveal that we have passed from death unto life when we act as faithful stewards of God’s grace. God has given us His goods; He has given us His pledged word that if we are faithful in our stewardship, we shall lay up in heaven treasures that are imperishable.” The Review and Herald, May 15, 1900.

3.b.      Give an example of pure, sanctified love. John 12:3; Luke 7:40–47.

Note: “Talk, pharisaism, and self-praise are abundant; but these will never win souls to Christ. Pure, sanctified love, such love as was expressed in Christ’s lifework, is as a sacred perfume. Like Mary’s broken box of ointment, it fills the whole house with fragrance. Eloquence, knowledge of truth, rare talents, mingled with love, are all precious endowments. But ability alone, the choicest talents alone, cannot take the place of love.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 84.

Wednesday

4 PROMOTING HEALTHY SELF-RESPECT

4.a. In what sense are the servants of God encouraged to be wise? Proverbs 9:12, first part. How does home ownership relate to self-respect?

Note: “The sense of being owners of their own homes would inspire them [the poorer classes] with a strong desire for improvement. They would soon acquire skill in planning and devising for themselves; their children would be educated to habits of industry and economy, and the intellect would be greatly strengthened. They would feel that they are men, not slaves, and would be able to regain to a great degree their lost self-respect and moral independence.” The Adventist Home, 373.

4.b.      Describe the contrast between self-support and dependence upon charity and the government. Proverbs 10:16; 21:25.

Note: “Those who are endeavoring to reform should be provided with employment. None who are able to labor should be taught to expect food and clothing and shelter free of cost. For their own sake, as well as for the sake of others, some way should be devised whereby they may return an equivalent for what they receive. Encourage every effort toward self-support. This will strengthen self-respect and a noble independence. And occupation of mind and body in useful work is essential as a safeguard against temptation.” The Ministry of Healing, 177.

“Many who are qualified to do excellent work accomplish little because they attempt little. Thousands pass through life as if they had no great object for which to live, no high standard to reach. One reason for this is the low estimate which they place upon themselves. Christ paid an infinite price for us, and according to the price paid He desires us to value ourselves.” Ibid., 498.

Thursday

5 UNDERSTANDING TRUE SELF-RESPECT

5.a  What does God do when man fully humbles himself? James 4:10; 1 Peter 5:6, 7.

Note: “It should not be difficult to remember that the Lord desires you to lay your troubles and perplexities at His feet, and leave them there. Go to Him, saying, ‘Lord, my burdens are too heavy for me to carry. Wilt Thou bear them for me?’ And He will answer: ‘I will take them. “With everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee.” I will take your sins, and will give you peace. Banish no longer your self-respect; for I have bought you with the price of My own blood. You are Mine. Your weakened will I will strengthen. Your remorse for sin I will remove.’ ”  Testimonies to Ministers and Gospel Workers, 519, 520.

“Let us, under all circumstances, preserve our confidence in Christ. He is to be everything to us—the first, the last, the best in everything. Then let us educate our tongues to speak forth His praise, not only when we feel gladness and joy, but at all times. …

“Let us not talk of the great power of Satan, but of the great power of God.” Sons and Daughters of God, 328.

5.b.      How can we have confidence toward God? Romans 8:1; 1 John 3:21.

Note: “It is not pleasing to God that you should demerit yourself. You should cultivate self-respect by living so that you will be approved by your own conscience, and before men and angels. … It is your privilege to go to Jesus and be cleansed, and to stand before the law without shame and remorse. [Romans 8:1 quoted.] While we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought, the word of God does not condemn a proper self-respect. As sons and daughters of God, we should have a conscious dignity of character, in which pride and self-importance have no part.” The Review and Herald, March 27, 1888.

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS    

1    Describe the difference between love and passion. Define true love.

2    What is pure, holy love? Contrast God’s ideal for marriage with the concept prevalent in the days of Noah.

3    How can love be proven?

4    What are some ways to gain self-respect?

5    How can self-respect be maintained?

Copyright 1995 Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

Bible Study Guides – The Christian Home

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Let This Mind Be in You

March 28 – April 3, 2021

Key Text

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and He brought her unto the man. And Adam said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:21–24).

Study Help: The Ministry of Healing, 349–394.

Introduction

“As a rule, children inherit the dispositions and tendencies of their parents, and imitate their example.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 118.

Sunday

1 THE ESTABLISHMENT OF THE HOME

1.a. Why did God create Eve? Genesis 2:18.

Note: “Men and women can reach God’s ideal for them if they will take Christ as their helper. What human wisdom cannot do, His grace will accomplish for those who give themselves to Him in loving trust. His providence can unite hearts in bonds that are of heavenly origin. Love will not be a mere exchange of soft and flattering words. The loom of heaven weaves with warp and woof finer, yet more firm, than can be woven by the looms of earth. The result is not a tissue fabric, but a texture that will bear wear and test and trial. Heart will be bound to heart in the golden bonds of a love that is enduring.” The Ministry of Healing, 362.

 1.b.      Describe the finding of a wife for Isaac? Genesis 24:37–67.

Note: “God Himself gave Adam a companion. He provided ‘an help meet for him’ (Genesis 2:18)—a helper corresponding to him—one who was fitted to be his companion, and who could be one with him in love and sympathy. Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 46.

Monday

2 HUSBANDS AND WIVES

2.a. What is the husband’s responsibility when married? Ephesians 5:25.

Note: “It is no evidence of manliness in the husband for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. It does not increase respect for him to hear him quoting Scripture to sustain his claims to authority. It will not make him more manly to require his wife, the mother of his children, to act upon his plans as if they were infallible. The Lord has constituted the husband the head of the wife to be her protector; he is the house-band of the family, binding the members together, even as Christ is the head of the church and the Saviour of the mystical body. Let every husband who claims to love God carefully study the requirements of God in his position. Christ’s authority is exercised in wisdom, in all kindness and gentleness; so let the husband exercise his power and imitate the great Head of the church.” The Adventist Home, 215.

2.b. Is only the wife to submit? Ephesians 5:21, 22.

2.c. Ephesians 5:23 says that the husband is the head of the wife, but this has a qualification. If this qualification is not met, then the husband is not the head of the wife and she should not submit to him. What is this qualification? Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29, 33.

Tuesday

3 CHILDHOOD INFLUENCES

3.a. Why are discipline and training necessary in childhood? Proverbs 29:15.

 Note: “Children should never be flattered, for flattery is poison to them; but parents should show a sanctified, tender regard for them, thus gaining their confidence and love.” The Review and Herald, January 24, 1907.

“Whenever the mother can speak a word of commendation for the good conduct of her children, she should do so. She should encourage them by words of approval and looks of love.” Testimonies, vol. 3, 532.

“One of the characteristics that should be especially cherished and cultivated in every child is that self-forgetfulness which imparts to the life such an unconscious grace. Of all excellences of character this is one of the most beautiful, and for every true lifework it is one of the qualifications most essential.

“Children need appreciation, sympathy, and encouragement, but care should be taken not to foster in them a love of praise. It is not wise to give them special notice, or to repeat before them their clever sayings. The parent or teacher who keeps in view the true ideal of character and the possibilities of achievement, cannot cherish or encourage self-sufficiency. He will not encourage in the youth the desire or effort to display their ability or proficiency. He who looks higher than himself will be humble; yet he will possess a dignity that is not abashed or disconcerted by outward display or human greatness.” Education, 237.

 3.b.      What lesson can be learned from the choice of environment as revealed in the experience of Lot? Genesis 13:10–13.

 Note: “The sinful conduct of his [Lot’s] daughters was the result of the evil association of that vile place [the city of Sodom]. Its moral corruption had become so interwoven with their character that they could not distinguish between good and evil.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 167, 168.

Wednesday

4 EARLY CHILD DEVELOPMENT

4.a. What promise is given to those who wisely train up their children? Proverbs 22:6.

 Note: “Neither infants, children, or youth should hear an impatient word from father, mother, or any member of the household; for they receive impressions very early in life, and what parents make them today, they will be tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. The first lessons impressed upon the child are seldom forgotten. …

“The impressions made on the heart early in life are seen in after years. They may be buried, but they will seldom be obliterated.” Child Guidance, 193, 194.

4.b.      Name Biblical examples of good childhood training. 2 Timothy 1:5; 3:15; Luke 1:6, 15, 76, 80.

Thursday

5 EXCESSES AND INDULGENCES

5.a. What counsels are given against a lack of punishment or training? 1 Samuel 2:29, 30; 3:13, 14.

 Note: “In some families the wish of the child is law. Everything he desires is given him. Everything he dislikes, he is encouraged to dislike. Indulgence is supposed to make the child happy, but it only makes him restless and discontented. Indulgence has spoiled his appetite for plain, healthful food, and for the plain use of his time; self-gratification has done the work of unsettling his character for time and for eternity.” The Review and Herald, May 10, 1898.

“Do not educate your children to think that your love for them must be expressed by indulgence of their pride, extravagance, and love of display.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 451.

5.b.      What things better than wealth can be given a child to help him become a healthy adult? Proverbs 3:11–18.

 Note: “Better than any other inheritance of wealth you can give to your children will be the gift of a healthy body, a sound mind, and a noble character. Those who understand what constitutes life’s true success will be wise betimes. They will keep in view life’s best things in their choice of a home.

“Instead of dwelling where only the works of men can be seen, where the sights and sounds frequently suggest thoughts of evil, where turmoil and confusion bring weariness and disquietude, go where you can look upon the works of God. Find rest of spirit in the beauty and quietude and peace of nature. Let the eye rest on the green fields, the groves, and the hills. Look up to the blue sky, unobscured by the city’s dust and smoke, and breathe the invigorating air of heaven. Go where, apart from the distractions and dissipations of city life, you can give your children your companionship, where you can teach them to learn of God through His works, and train them for lives of integrity and usefulness.” The Ministry of Healing, 366, 367.

Friday

PERSONAL REVIEW QUESTIONS

1    How is environment important in family life?

2    How can husbands and wives help each other in managing a home?

3    Describe how the home atmosphere and surrounding environment affect the early development of children.

4    What lessons should the child learn first even in babyhood from his parents?

5    What are the most important gifts we can give to our growing children?

Copyright 1995 Reformation Herald Publishing Association, 5240 Hollins Road, Roanoke, Virginia 24019-5048, U.S.A.

A Song for You

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It happened in 1829 to a young girl by the name of Susanna Foster. She had a younger sister by the name of Elisa who lived to be very old. She also had some brothers, one of which was Steven Foster, a famous song writer from the last century. Susanna was a very promising musician and singer, but while she was still young, she contracted tuberculosis, a disease of the lungs. She was seriously ill and was expected to die. Some of her friends stayed up all night with her, not knowing at the time that it would be her last. At 4:30 in the morning, she awoke and sang a song. Her voice was clear and crisp; however, a short time after, she died, never to sing again.

Her family mourned her loss. Steven Foster was so young when she died that he never really got to know his sister personally, but the memory of her song on the night she died lived on.

There are often discouraging experiences in life that we simply do not understand. Some years ago, another young woman with two young daughters and a little baby boy died. After having a surgery for cancer, she went through a course of chemotherapy followed by some other treatments in an effort to help her get better. However, she did not get better; she got worse. When you are only 29 years old and you have two beautiful daughters and a beautiful baby boy, the last thing you want to do is die.

In the Bible, there is a story about a man who was told that he was going to die. The prophet Isaiah came to Hezekiah and told him to get his house in order, thus he was given forewarning. Hezekiah did not want to die right then so he turned his face towards the wall and he said, “Lord, I do not want to die.”

Hezekiah pleaded with the Lord that he would live a little longer and the Lord answered his prayer telling him that he would lengthen his life another fifteen years. However, a very sad thing happened during that time. Hezekiah fathered a child by the name of Manasseh who was one of the most wicked kings that ever ruled Judah. It was Manasseh who was responsible for martyring Isaiah the prophet and it was because of his influence that the children of Israel were taken into captivity.

This was the terrible consequence that resulted because Hezekiah did not die at the right time, at God’s appointed time.

Sometimes it is hard to accept God’s will when we do not understand the big picture. This young lady, only 29 years old, did not want to die either, but her condition worsened. The last time I saw her at church she was so sick that she was in a wheelchair and on oxygen. Her husband, standing beside her, too sad for words, just gave a nod of recognition. No words were exchanged; it was just too sad to say anything. Unknown to me then, it was the last time I would see her alive; a few days later she died. I visited her husband with his three children and felt the emptiness and the hollowness inside their home. The light of that house was no longer there; this man’s crown of rejoicing was no longer with them.

Jesus said, “Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear his voice and come forth—those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation” (John 5:28, 29, literal translation).

This young lady had deteriorated so much that she had to be taken to a hospital. The family all knew she was dying, but still every effort was made to try and save her life and help her to stay a little longer. As the evening grew on, her husband decided to stay there with her all that night. In the afternoon she had asked him, “Who are all these people in my room?” He looked around and said, “I don’t see anybody; there’s nobody here.” She was insistent that there was, that the room was full of bright shining beings who were all around her bed, but he did not see anybody.

Pretty soon it was supper time. Surprisingly, for being in her condition, she ate a good supper and after supper they had a wonderful conversation together. They did not know then, but it would be their last conversation together, and then she went to sleep.

This lady had prayed, “Lord, if I have to die, because this is so distasteful to me leaving my children, please let me die in my sleep.” The Lord that night answered her prayer, and she went to sleep. About 5:00 o’clock in the morning, her husband who was sleeping in a chair by her bed, woke up with a start. He felt her and saw that she was not breathing. Ten minutes before, the nurse had checked on her and had seen that everything was fine. The doctors tried to resuscitate her, but it was too late; she was gone. She was only 29 years old, leaving two beautiful girls, a two-year-old baby boy, and a loving husband. Who can understand?

Life is so uncertain. At every opportunity show the members of your family the affection that you ought, so that if something should happen and they are taken suddenly from you, you will have some pleasant memories of the way you talked to them, and the way you treated them.

A physician was working in his office when his wife stopped by on her way to do some business downtown. She had wanted some time with him but was brushed off because he was “too busy.” A few minutes later he received the telephone call that everyone dreads. A policeman was on the other end of the line informing him that his wife had been involved in a serious car accident. A few minutes before, he had been impatient and “too busy.” Would those words be the last he would ever speak to her, words of impatience?

What if something happened to somebody you love? Would the last words you spoke be words that you would want to remember? Always make sure that your parting words are a pleasant exchange and never impatient or fretful. Life is uncertain and none of us know how long we have our loved ones with us. We need to take advantage of every opportunity to show love, sympathy and affection to those we love.

“Home should be made all that the name implies. It should be a little heaven upon the earth, a place where the affections are cultivated instead of being studiously repressed. Our happiness depends upon this cultivation of love, sympathy, and polite courtesy to one another. The reason why there are so many hard-hearted men and women in our world, is because true affection has been regarded as weakness, and has been discouraged and repressed. The better part of the nature of those of this class was perverted and dwarfed in childhood; and unless rays of divine light can melt away their coldness and hard-hearted selfishness, the happiness of such is buried forever. If we would have tender hearts, such as Jesus had when He was upon the earth, and sanctified sympathy, such as angels have for sinful mortals, we must cultivate the sympathies of childhood, which are simplicity itself. Then we shall be refined, elevated, and directed by heavenly principles.” The Review and Herald, June 22, 1886.

We need to express love and affection in our homes so that our children don’t grow up to be hard-hearted. What kinds of words do you speak with your spouse and with your children, with your brothers, and with your sisters?

That Sunday morning, I was on the way to the prison and needed to get all the sadness from my mind for the prisoners needed to be encouraged. I had been going to this jail for some time and I knew there would be between 15–25 inmates who would be there to sing songs and hear the gospel. Out of that jail ministry there were people who had accepted Christ, some who had become Seventh-day Adventists, and I was going there to be an encouragement to them and cheer them up. Jesus said, “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also” (John 14:1–3).

Promises like this we would share with the people in the prison and tell them that there are no jails in heaven. Neither will there be hospitals or any other trouble at all in heaven. The prisoners loved to hear about heaven and they loved to sing the song, “Power in the Blood.”

As Jesus comforted His disciples when they were in trouble, He left us an example. In the first chapter of 2 Corinthians you can read how Paul also comforted those who found themselves in all kinds of trouble. While behind bars many inmates reach out for hope of a better life. This can be a very fruitful field for evangelism for Christians who are able to comfort prisoners and give them hope.

As I was on my way to the jail, I was preoccupied with thoughts about these children who had just lost their mother from cancer. I just could not shake it out of my mind as I went up into the cell block that morning. One of the prisoners, whom I knew quite well, recognized a different expression on my face at once and asked, “What’s the matter with you, preacher?”

My purpose for being there that day was to encourage these people and not to tell them my troubles. He had asked a direct question, so not to tell a lie, I told him about my friend whose wife had just died from cancer, that she was only 29 years old with three children, two older girls and a little baby boy, two years old, and that when he grows up he will not even be able to remember his mother.

That whole cell block went quiet. Though I was only talking to this man who had asked me the question, everybody else was listening. I came right up to the bar that divided us and he did the same, and looking up into my face he began to tell me the story of his life.

He said, I have two older sisters, and when I was two years old my mother died from cancer. She was only 29 years old. When my mother died, my father could not cope and as a result became an alcoholic. There was nobody to take care of the children, so we were separated. My two sisters were raised somewhere else and I was taken to an orphanage.

This man had heard the Gospel presented a number of times with never a response, but now, all of a sudden, I understood what had happened to this boy, what had happened to this man. He had grown up deprived of a mother to love him, without the special tender love of a family, and no one to express that love and sympathy and affection that is so needed. With his mother, whom he never knew, and his father an alcoholic as a result, he had become hard-hearted, and as he became a man he had gotten into trouble with the law and ended up in jail.

Never before had this man responded after hearing the Gospel, but this time his heart was touched. I had been given the key to his heart as he had told me the story of his life, and he was now ready to respond and receive hope and comfort.

“The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad. Bring back our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the South. They who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him” (Psalm 126:3–6).

With all the prisoners still listening, even though I was just talking to this one man, I asked him if his mother was a Christian. He said that his sisters had told him that she had been a Bible believing Christian. Then I asked him if he would like to see his mother again some day, and he said, “Yes.” I commenced to tell him how that could happen. Someday Jesus is going to come back to this world; He is going to come back from heaven. The Bible says that every eye is going to see Him and when He returns, He is going to look down on this world, and He is going to say, “Awake and sing, you who dwell in dust” (Isaiah 26:19).

I told him that when Jesus comes in the clouds and says, “Awake, awake, awake, ye that sleep in the dust and arise” (Ephesians 5:14), your mother is going to awake and come out of the grave, and she is going to look for you. If you surrender your heart and life to Jesus, you are going to be there. Your mother is going to look for you when she wakes up when Jesus returns.

By the way friend, when Jesus comes, is there anyone who is going to wake up and look for you? Are you going to be there? If you are there, then they are going to sing.

I believe one of the persons who will awake in the first resurrection and will look for me, is my father. My father died as a result of being hit by a car in April 2000. I remember when I was a small boy at home, over and over again I heard my father pray during family worship. He would ask the Lord that our family might be saved, without the loss of one. My father did not want anybody in his family to be lost. He continually worked for all people wherever he lived in the world to share the Gospel with them, but he always prayed that all his family would be saved.

Who is going to look for you? Are they going to sing? Are they going to have a song in the night for you because you are there?

In Isaiah 30:29 the Lord says that you are going to have a song in the night.

Isaiah 21 talks about the watchmen: “Watchman, what of the night? … The watchman said, ‘The morning comes, and also the night. If you will inquire, inquire; Return! Come back’ ” (Isaiah 21:11, 12)!

The night of sin, friends, is almost over and the eternal morning is going to break very soon for the righteous. It will be eternal night for the wicked. So, because the night of sin is about over and the morning is going to come soon, the watchman says, “If you return, inquire and come.”

The context of the verses in Isaiah 21 is the fall of Babylon. In Revelation 18, when Babylon falls, the morning is coming. That is one of the reasons why people are going to sing, because the night is over. They will have a song in the night because the eternal morning is coming. With it, however, is also the night; eternal night for the wicked.

“Before the final visitation of God’s judgments upon the earth there will be among the people of the Lord such a revival of primitive godliness as has not been witnessed since apostolic times.” The Great Controversy, 464.

In order for the night of sin to end there must be a return to primitive godliness. As Jeremiah puts it, “ask for the old paths” (Jeremiah 6:16).

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

Come out from among them and be separate. God wants a peculiar people who reflect His image, a people who will return to primitive godliness, a people who will reject worldly ways and its entertainments, adornments, and lifestyles. God wants people who are not afraid to be known as Christians and turn away from harmful substances like alcohol, and delight in the Sabbath, the special day that God gave to man for rest and worship.

The worldly ways that have been allowed to fester in the church have caused confusion and strife. Proverbs 13:10 says, “By pride comes nothing but strife.”

The Lord is coming! He is going to end this night of sin and we are going to have a song. But the people who have the song are going to be the people who beforehand had an experience in primitive godliness.

Make sure you are among that group of people, the ones who have a song, and are ready to meet their Lord and Savior when He returns (Isaiah 30:29, 30).

Pastor John Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by e-mail at: historic@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

A Little Heaven…What Home should be…

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“A Little Heaven to Go to Heaven In”

“Society is composed of families and is what the heads of families make it. Out of the heart are ‘the issues of life’; and the heart of the community, of the church, and of the nation is the household. The well-being of society, the success of the church, the prosperity of the nation, depend upon home influences.” The Adventist Home, 15

The members of the home, through their speech and interactions with each other, will prove to be a blessing or a curse. Thus, much is at stake in the home. Now, more than ever, Satan is attempting to sabotage this critical establishment of society that God Himself instituted in Eden. The goal of any home should be to provide “a little heaven to go to heaven in.” The Review and Herald, April 21, 1891.

“The family on earth should be a type of the family in heaven. The home that is beautified by love, sympathy, and tenderness is a place that angels love to visit, and where God is glorified. The influence of a carefully guarded Christian home in the years of childhood and youth is the surest safeguard against the corruptions of the world. In the atmosphere of such a home, the children will learn to love both their earthly parents and their heavenly Father.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 10, 206.

“The home in which the members are polite, courteous Christians exerts a far-reaching influence for good. Other families will mark the results attained by such a home, and will follow the example set, in their turn guarding the home against Satanic influences. The angels of God will often visit the home in which the will of God bears sway. Under the power of divine grace such a home becomes a place of refreshing to worn, weary pilgrims. By watchful guarding, self is kept from asserting itself. Correct habits are formed. There is a careful recognition of the rights of others. The faith that works by love and purifies the soul stands at the helm, presiding over the whole household. Under the hallowed influence of such a home, the principle of brotherhood laid down in the word of God is more widely recognized and obeyed.” The Adventist Home, 31.

The devil does not want you to have such a home. He is determined to destroy the happiness in your home. One of the principal ways he does this is by influencing the members of the family, including the husband and the wife, to speak in an unsanctified way to each other. Here is an inspired description of this transgression. Notice that Satan’s ultimate goal is to destroy the church by destroying the family.

 “Well does Satan know what heaven is, and what the influence of the angels is. His work is to bring into every family the cruel elements of self-will, harshness, selfishness. Thus he seeks to destroy the happiness of the family. He knows that the spirit governing in the home will be brought into the church.” The Upward Look, 163.

Another method Satan uses to attempt to destroy the happiness of the home is by leading the husband into a misunderstanding between what it means to be the head of the house and what it means to be God. God has absolute authority. When God told Abraham to kill his son, Abraham was under moral obligation to obey. But no human being, whether husband or wife or employer or ruler, has absolute authority. All human authority is to be subservient to God’s authority and under the rule of His government. The following statements clarify this subject that is widely misunderstood.

“If the husband is tyrannical, exacting, critical of the actions of his wife, he cannot hold her respect and affection, and the marriage relation will become odious to her. She will not love her husband, because he does not try to make himself loveable. The Lord Jesus has not been correctly represented in His relation to the church by many husbands in their relation to their wives, for they do not keep the way of the Lord. They declare that their wives must be subject to them in everything.

“But it was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord; he is not the husband in the true significance of the term.

“If the wife should have the same mold of character as her husband, woe be to the children; the whole family would be a blot upon the earth. Instead of being a house-band, to bind the family together into the unity that is symbolized by the unity of Christ and the church, he will break every tie of affection, and the members of the family will be scattered, filled with bitterness and hatred one toward another.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 21, 215, 216.

Not only does the husband bear a critical responsibility to represent the character of Christ in his family relationships, every member of the family is to bear a degree of responsibility as well.

“Unless we control our words and temper, we are slaves to Satan. We are in subjection to him. He leads us captive. All jangling and unpleasant, impatient, fretful words are an offering presented to his Satanic majesty. And it is a costly offering, more costly than any sacrifice we can make for God, for it destroys the peace and happiness of whole families, destroys health, and is eventually the cause of forfeiting an eternal life of happiness.” Testimonies, vol. 1, 310.

We need to remember always that the words that we speak will be one of the major factors that determines our eternal destiny.

If our speech is to be reformed and changed, it must happen in this world before the coming of the Lord. This cannot be done in an instant and is why Ellen White told some people that they did not have a moment to lose. She cautioned that if they did not live long enough so that their speech could be reformed, they would be excluded from heaven. This idea is very unpopular today. Most people, including probably the vast majority of clergymen, believe and teach in effect that you can live like the devil without overcoming your character defects, but if the moment before you die you say, “Lord save me,” you will be saved. Wherever this idea originated it is not in the Bible and it is not true. The story of the thief on the cross does not substantiate this theory—see the description of that person who was saved at the 11th hour in The Desire of Ages, pages 749–751.

Notice how clearly the Spirit of Prophecy warns against the error of delay in self-reformation.

“Few have that genuine faith which works by love and purifies the soul. But all who are accounted worthy of everlasting life must obtain a moral fitness for the same. ‘Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is. And every man that hath this hope in Him purifieth himself, even as He is pure’ (1 John 3:2, 3). This is the work before you, and you have none too much time if you engage in the work with all your soul.

“You must experience a death to self, and must live unto God. ‘If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God’ (Colossians, 3:1). Self is not to be consulted. Pride, self-love, selfishness, avarice, covetousness, love of the world, hatred, suspicion, jealousy, evil surmisings, must all be subdued and sacrificed forever. When Christ shall appear, it will not be to correct these evils and then give a moral fitness for His coming. This preparation must all be made before He comes. It should be a subject of thought, of study, and earnest inquiry, What shall we do to be saved? What shall be our conduct that we may show ourselves approved unto God?

“When tempted to murmur, censure, and indulge in fretfulness, wounding those around you, and in so doing wounding your own soul, oh! let the deep, earnest, anxious inquiry come from your soul, Shall I stand without fault before the throne of God? Only the faultless will be there. None will be translated to heaven while their hearts are filled with the rubbish of earth. Every defect in the moral character must first be remedied, every stain removed by the cleansing blood of Christ, and all the unlovely, unlovable traits of character overcome.

“How long a time are you designing to take to prepare to be introduced into the society of heavenly angels in glory? In the state which you and your family are in at present, all heaven would be marred should you be introduced therein. The work for you must be done here. This earth is the fitting-up place. You have not one moment to lose. All is harmony, peace, and love in heaven. No discord, no strife, no censuring, no unloving words, no clouded brows, no jars there; and no one will be introduced there who possesses any of these elements so destructive to peace and happiness. Study to be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate, laying up for yourselves a good foundation against the time to come, that you may lay hold on everlasting life.

“Forever cease your murmurings in regard to this poor life, but let your soul’s burden be, how to secure the better life than this, a title to the mansions prepared for those who are true and faithful to the end. If you make a mistake here, everything is lost. If you devote your lifetime to securing earthly treasures, and lose the heavenly, you will find that you have made a terrible mistake. You cannot have both worlds. ‘What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul’ (Mark 8:36, 37)? Says the inspired Paul: ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal’ (2 Corinthians 4:17, 18).” Testimonies, vol. 1, 705, 706.

In this world we are actually in an all or nothing warfare of which there is no escape. It is a war in which we either win everything or lose everything. Our speech in our families, to stress a point already made, will be one of the most decisive factors as to where our eternal destiny is going to be.

There is an excellent testimony written to “Brother M” in volume 2 of the Testimonies, pages 84–88, in which strong counsel is given that details many of the errors made within the family that prevent the home from becoming “a little heaven to go to heaven in.”

The concluding paragraph of this testimony provides food for thought that all who have a deep yearning for heaven—not just a heaven-like atmosphere in their homes, but an eternal abode—should give deep thought and make a matter of earnest prayer:

“If you lose heaven, you lose everything; if you gain heaven, you gain everything. Do not make a mistake in this matter, I implore you. Eternal interests are here involved. Be thorough. May the God of all grace so enlighten your understanding that you may discern eternal things, that by the light of truth your own errors, which are many, may be discovered to you just as they are, that you may make the necessary effort to put them away, and in the place of this evil, bitter fruit may bring forth fruit which is precious unto eternal life.” Testimonies, vol. 2, 88.

We may not carry all of the errors that Inspiration pointed out to Brother M in this testimony, but it is true for everyone that “if you lose heaven, you lose everything.” May God, in His providence, guide us as we seek to make our homes “a little heaven to go to heaven in.”

(Unless appearing in quoted references or otherwise identified, Bible texts are from the New King James Version.)

Pastor John J. Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by email at: historic@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

Heaven on Earth

by

While the children of Israel were camped at Mount Sinai, Moses was called up to the mount. God said to him, “Let them make Me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8). A sanctuary is God’s house, a place where He longs to be. He desires that each home be a sanctuary, for He longs to be part of each one’s life and be present in every house.

In the book, Education, 258, we read this inspired comment: “It was in the mount with God that Moses beheld the pattern of that wonderful building which was to be the abiding place of His glory. It is in the mount with God—in the secret place of communion—that we are to contemplate His glorious ideal for humanity. Thus we shall be enabled so to fashion our character building that to us may be fulfilled His promise, ‘I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people’ ” (2 Corinthians 6:16).

We are called up into the mount, as Moses was, to behold the heavenly, because we also have something to build on earth that is like the heavenly pattern – the home, God’s masterpiece as far as an earthly temple is concerned. In the sanctuary of the home God wants to reveal His purpose to dwell with men.

In this mount with God, we are to contemplate His glorious ideal for humanity, but what is humanity made up of? “Society is composed of families.” The Adventist Home, 15. Often we think of the world as a whole, but it is divided up among nations. Most governments have their territory broken down into different divisions. We have the states, the counties, the smaller divisions, but as God looks at society, He thinks of it as grouped in families and those families are what the heads of families make them. “ ‘Out of the heart are the issues of life’  (Proverbs 4:23); and the heart of the community, of the church, and of the nation is the household.” Ibid. When we are dealing with the family, we are dealing with something very important and very precious to God.

When Moses was called up to the mount, he saw the temple of God and was told to make a copy of it here in this world. He accomplished that task. God recognized it and dwelt with His people during their wilderness wanderings and His presence was made manifest in that earthly copy of the heavenly sanctuary.

“Home should be made all that the word implies. It should be a little heaven upon earth.” Ibid.

Unfortunately that is not always the case and frequently, too many homes are a hell on earth. Then there are multitudes of homes that in a sense are neither heaven nor hell. The parents are ill-equipped and don’t know the best way to raise their children. Many of these homes are far from hell, but they are a long way from heaven.

We are told it is possible to experience a little heaven on earth; so why not take hold of it. After all, it has been bought and paid for by the death of Jesus. He rose and went back to heaven and is pleading for us in the heavenly sanctuary. Someday those who are faithful are going to heaven, but it will be enjoyed only by those who have already enjoyed heavenly principles on this earth. God offers us a little sample of it here if we would just taste and see whether we like it or not. If we do like it, He lets us have some more. His grace can provide an endless supply of heavenly principles. No fictitious manifestation from Hollywood or anything that money can buy can help us get there, for no eye has seen what the Lord has prepared for His people.

Though Moses spent many years in Egypt being educated the world’s way, it took another 40 years for God to prepare him to lead the children of Israel out of bondage. Pray that God will make us capable of and willing to cast much of what we have learned into the garbage can where it belongs and have that mountain top experience with Jesus and listen while He speaks and points out the right way. Our pattern is in heaven; that is the pattern of the Christian home. “Home should be made all that the word implies.”

“Every family in the home life should be a church, a beautiful symbol of the church of God in heaven.” Child Guidance, 480.

Fathers and mothers and children alike are to experience in each home a church life like the church of God in heaven. “All His [God’s] biddings are enablings.” Christ’s Object Lessons, 333. This experience doesn’t come naturally. It takes effort. To make our home like the pattern, we must behold it and then build just as Moses did. First he beheld and then went to work and built.

God said, “Let them make Me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them” (Exodus 25:8). Since “God is love” (1 John 4:8), if God dwells in the sanctuary, love abides there.

“Every home should be a place of love, a place where the angels of God abide.” The Adventist Home, 18.

On the veil at the entrance of the sanctuary that Moses built, as well as on the veil between the holy and the most holy, were embroidered angels. Angels were represented throughout the sanctuary. Your home also is to be a place where the angels of God abide. The more you sense the presence of the angel watchers, the more you will love what they love and hate what they hate.

God’s great purpose in our reproducing the heavenly plan here on earth is to enable us to know Him better. “And this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent” (John 17:3). To know God is to have life eternal. We get to know Him through His word, the Bible; we know Him through the life of Jesus, and we know Him through His creation.

There is yet another way to know Him. One of the sweetest statements in Inspiration is in Steps to Christ, page 10: “Through … the deepest and tenderest earthly ties that human hearts can know, He [God] has sought to reveal Himself to us.” Think of the different human relationships we have. The relationship between parents and children is one of the best. If you had a wonderful mother and father, you would have many good memories. If somehow that pattern was marred through human frailty, remember God’s ideal still stands and can be revealed to you. The close relationship between parents and children is designed to reveal God.

“His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God, The everlasting Father” (Isaiah 9:6). God is our Father. God gave the relationship between a father and his child for two reasons. The first is so the child growing up could learn to love his father and thus learn to know God. The second reason is so the father, in loving and training the little child, could learn to know how God feels.

Remember there was a man in the Bible who was especially set forth in that connection. The Bible says that Enoch walked with God 300 years after he begat Methuselah. It is not only the children who learn to know God through being in the home; it is also the parents, both the father and the mother, who learn to know God by being parents. All of us, whether we are men or women, as we think back to our childhood, can appreciate this verse in Isaiah 66:13: “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” That verse sparks memories of my own mother who so lovingly attended to my hurts with salve and a kiss.

God says, “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” He uses that picture to reveal Himself to us, using father love and mother love, not just the receiving of it on the part of the children, but the giving of it on the part of the father and mother. Dear parents, every time your heart goes out to your children, every time you are concerned about their behavior, every time you seek to comfort them in sorrow or to guide them in counsel, remember, you are not only to reveal God to that child; in that experience a revelation of God is to come to you. That is the great purpose of families.

This same purpose is true also with other relationships. Take the relationships between brothers and sisters. There are so many precious things in the Bible and Spirit of Prophecy about the relation of brother and brother and sister and sister and brother and sister and sister and brother – precious relationships. “There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). Jesus is set forth as our elder brother and those who know the joy of sharing in loving fellowship as brothers and sisters have a revelation of the character of God.

However, there is one relationship that is more intimate than any other—the relationship between husband and wife. Basic to the whole pattern of human life, the core and center of every successful family is the relationship between husband and wife. The relationship between parents and children is not the primary relationship. Neither is the sibling relationship. Primary to all other relationships is that between a husband and wife. It was the first relationship that God established on this planet between two individuals, Adam and Eve, who were joined in wedlock by the Creator Himself. The purpose of marriage was, “… to reveal Himself to us through the deepest and tenderest earthly ties that human hearts can know.”

Dear husbands, have you thought it through that the purpose of the marriage relation is to reveal God to you? Do you know that the purpose of the marriage relation is to reveal God to your wife through you? The purpose of marriage is that the husband and the wife shall know God as they could know Him in no other way. There are views of the character of God that you can get as a married man, a married woman, that cannot be understood in any other way. No matter how far up the ladder of achievement in successful married life you are, there is something glorious beyond. I tell you this from experience. I know that this is true.

As I think of my own experience and enter into the experience of any other people in the 40 years I have been in the ministry, this statement sums it up so wonderfully. “To gain a proper understanding of the marriage relation is the work of a lifetime. Those who marry enter a school from which they are never in this life to be graduated.” The Adventist Home, 105. You can never graduate from this course while you are alive. We are dealing with infinite riches with tremendous possibilities.

This relationship is not mere sentimentalism as is often expressed in many poems and love songs where most are dealing with people who have not made a serious commitment to each other. Today, many people are unable to weather the storms and trials that may arrive and are on their second, third or even fourth marriage. We surely need the guidance of the Lord in choosing our spouse. We need to come up into the mount with God and look at the pattern. After all, how could a carpenter put up a stable building if he never looked at the blueprint?

A healthy marriage takes work and prayer. Both partners must climb the mount and study for themselves what the Lord requires, then go together. Take time down on your knees to behold and then arise and build according to the pattern and you can experience heaven on earth.

Inspiration tells us, “There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God, and places the parties in a position better to glorify Him.” Testimonies, vol. 4, 504.

Reading this can be discouraging, especially when the devil then whispers, Well that’s the trouble, you got the wrong mate. But friends, there is good news. There are glorious possibilities with the companion you have. Do not listen to the devil, for he is a liar.

Inspiration writes about a young woman beloved of God who was held in bondage to a godless youth. Her nervous system was shattered. “Her marriage was a deception of the devil. Yet now she should make the best of it.” The Adventist Home, 351. Here was a woman who had the word of the living God that her marriage was a deception of the devil, yet now she is to make the best of it. If she could do this, don’t you think you can make the best of your situation?

Many people become infatuated and are thus allured into marriage. Very soon they find out that they are incompatible, not realizing that almost everybody who has ever been married since Adam and Eve came out of Eden has been incompatible. One of the great purposes of marriage is to help people learn how to be compatible.

“Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment.” Ibid., 106.

Martin Luther used to say, “You can’t keep birds from flying over your head but you can prevent them from making nests in your hair.” The devil may say that your problem is that you married the wrong person, but never harbor that thought. Don’t let it in even if it hollers around outside. Don’t open the door and argue with it or pay it any attention. Here is what to do instead.

“Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other.” Ibid. What we learn in marriage is the science of love. Love is not selfishness, but is unselfishness. In marriage we are not to dwell on what I wish my companion would do for me, but how I can be all that is possible to be to my companion. The greater the incompatibility, the more need there is to get down to business and work at this job. This is how to make the best of it.

We are living in an age where it is easy to just throw up things to our partner and complain, but that is from the devil. Make the best of it. This best is not some second-rate thing, but the best. No matter how big a mess you have made of things, or what a miserable failure you or your companion are, the two of you together can have heaven on earth. God guarantees it. “Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. … Study to advance the happiness of each other. … Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.” Ibid.

“Remember, my dear brother and sister, that God is love and that by His grace you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage pledge you promised to do.” Ibid., 112. God guarantees that you can succeed in making each other happy, but it will take the two of you together.

Men and women can reach God’s ideal for them if they will take Christ as their helper. “Higher than the highest human thought can reach is God’s ideal for His children.” Education, 18. “What human wisdom cannot do, His grace will accomplish for those who give themselves to Him in loving trust. His providence can unite hearts in bonds that are of heavenly origin. … Heart will be bound to heart in the golden bonds of a love that is enduring.” The Adventist Home, 112, 113.

Even for those couples who have experienced heaven on earth from the day they were married to the present hour, there is still something more wonderful ahead. Remember, no one graduates from this school of marriage. It is the work of a lifetime.

“Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour” (Ephesians 5:1, 2). Again this is the language of the sanctuary—the fragrant incense. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it” (verse 25). When husbands love their wives, the wives will know better how to fit in to the part they are to play in the relationship. Christ’s love to each other is to be manifest in the home.

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is the great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (verses 28–33). These verses are clearly referring to Christ and His church and husbands and wives.

“In early Christian usage, the term ‘mystery’ did not mean something that could not be understood, as it does today, but something that could be understood only by those who were initiated; that is, those who had the right to know.” A Commentary on Daniel and Revelation from The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 7, 740.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery” (Ephesians 5:31, 32, first part).

Only married people can understand this mystery, but just being married does not automatically initiate you and reveal this mystery to you. The successful marriage is one in a hundred, so 99 out of 100 couples that get married still do not know the mystery. Many get caught up with the fluff and bubble of the ceremony and then become disappointed, not realizing that the mystery is only unlocked by having a heart connection.

The challenge is, just as there is something more to the union with Christ than baptism, although it includes baptism, there is something more to the union of marriage than the physical experience of man and woman joined together. Certainly, it includes that, but if all people know is the physical side of marriage then they will miss the greatest blessing.

Jesus said, “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:19). If any two people on earth have the right to claim this wonderful promise, it is the husband and wife.

Alone with God and each other get down on your knees and take this verse. Read it to each other and say, What is it that we want? What is it that we desire? Pick out your hardest problem and your greatest need, pick out your deepest longing and agree together to ask God for a miracle. For it is a miracle when two people can live together in happiness and love and that is what it takes to have heaven on earth. No matter how much you have already been blessed, why not reach up to get the richer gift and the larger blessing that is being offered and know what it means to be fully, completely blended. For each of us there are heights above that we have never yet reached.

Dear Lord, teach us the science of love, teach us the art of love. We need it for we are naturally selfish but teach us this wonderful experience, not just so we can get along together but so that we can know You, so that we can understand God, so that we can reveal God to our children and to others. Amen.

Elder W.D. Frazee studied the Medical Missionary Course at the College of Medical Evangelists in Loma Linda, California. He was called to Utah as a gospel medical evangelist. During the Great Depression, when the church could not afford to hire any assistants, Elder Frazee began inviting professionals to join him as volunteers. Thus began a faith ministry that would become the foundation for the establishment of the Wildwood Medical Missionary Institute in 1942. He believed that each person is unique, specially designed by the Lord, of infinite value, and has a special place and mission in this world which only he can fill. His life followed this principle and he encouraged others to do the same.