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Duty of Parents to their Children

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One of the signs of the “last days” is the disobedience of children to their parents. 2 Timothy 3:2. And do parents realize their responsibility? Many seem to lose sight of the watch-care they should ever have over their children, and suffer them to indulge in evil passions, and to disobey them. They take but little notice of them until their own feelings are raised, and then punish them in anger.

Many parents will have to render an awful account at last for their neglect of their children. They have fostered and cherished their evil tempers by bending to their wishes and will, when the wishes and will of the children should bend to them. They have brought God’s frown upon them and their children by these things. Parents, have you forgotten that which is written in the Holy Word: “He that spareth the rod hateth his son.” Children are left to come up instead of being trained up. The poor little children are thought not to know or understand a correction at ten or twelve months old, and they begin to show stubbornness very young. Parents suffer them to indulge in evil tempers and passions without subduing or correcting them, and by so doing they cherish and nourish these evil passions until they grow with their growth and strengthen with their strength.

The house of God is often desecrated, and the Sabbath violated by Sabbath-believers’ children. In some cases they are even allowed to run about the house, play, talk and manifest their evil tempers in the very meetings where the saints should worship God in the beauty of holiness. And the place that should be holy, and where a holy stillness should reign, and where there should be perfect order, neatness and humility, is made to be a perfect Babylon, “confusion.” This is enough to bring God’s displeasure and shut His presence from our assemblies. His wrath is kindled for these things, and He will not while these things exist, go out with Israel to battle against their enemies. The enemies of our faith will be suffered to triumph on account of God’s displeasure.

Parents stand in the place of God to their children and they will have to render an account, whether they have been faithful to the little few committed to their trust. Parents, some of you are rearing children to be cut down by the destroying angel, unless you speedily change your course, and be faithful to them. God cannot cover iniquity, even in children. He cannot love unruly children who manifest passion, and He cannot save them in the time of trouble. Will you suffer your children to be lost through your neglect? Unfaithful parents, their blood will be upon you, and is not your salvation doubtful with the blood of your children upon you? Children that might have been saved had you filled your place, and done your duty as faithful parents should.

God says: “I know Abraham, that he will command his household after him,” and God gave him the honor of being the father of the faithful. Parents, it is your duty to have your children in perfect subjection, having all their passions and evil tempers subdued. And if children are taken to meeting, they should be made to know, and understand where they are. That they are not at home, but where God meets with His people. And they should be kept quiet and free from all play, and God will turn His face toward you, to meet with you and bless you.

If order is observed in the assemblies of the saints, the truth will have better effect upon all that hear it. A solemnity which is so much needed will be encouraged and there will be power in the truth to stir up the depths of the soul and a death-like stupor will not hang upon those who hear. Believers and unbelievers will be affected. It has seemed evident that in some places the Ark of God was removed from the church, for the holy commandments have been violated and the strength of Israel has been weakened. Parents, correct your children. Commence while they are young, when impressions can be more easily made, and their evil tempers subdued before they grow with their growth and strengthen with their strength.

You should correct your children in love. Do not let them have their own way until you get angry, and then punish them. Such correction only helps on the evil, instead of remedying it. After you have done your duty faithfully to your children, then carry them to God and ask Him to help you. Tell Him that you have done your part, and then in faith ask God to do His part, that which you cannot do. Ask Him to temper their dispositions, to make them mild and gentle by His Holy Spirit. He will hear you pray. He will love to answer your prayers. Through His Word He has enjoined it upon you to correct your children, to “spare not for their crying,” and His Word is to be heeded in these things.

It certainly must bring God’s displeasure upon parents when they leave Him to do what He has left, and commanded them to do. God corrects us when we disobey, and go astray from Him; and parents are bound by the word of God to correct their children when they disobey them, and show evil temper. Check the very first manifestation of passion. Break the will, (but do it with feelings of tenderness, and with discretion,) and your children will be far happier for it, and you will be happier. Your effort will be remembered of God, and He that is so particular as to observe the falling of the sparrow, He that noticed and commended Abraham’s faithfulness, will not pass by your efforts. He that never slumbers nor sleeps will be ready to aid you with His Spirit and grace, and will reward your feeble efforts.

Parents, above every thing, take care of your children upon the Sabbath. Do not suffer them to violate God’s holy day by playing in the house or out of doors. You may just as well break the Sabbath yourselves as to let your children do it, and when you suffer your children to wander about, and suffer them to play upon the Sabbath, God looks upon you as Sabbath-breakers. Your children, that are under your control, should be made to mind you. Your word should be their law. Will not parents wake up to their duty before it shall be too late, and take hold of the work in earnest, redeem the time, and make unsparing efforts to save their children?

Children are the lawful prey of the enemy, because they are not subjects of grace, have not experienced the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus, and the evil angels have access to these children; and some parents are careless and suffer them to work with but little restraint. Parents have a great work to do in this matter, by correcting and subduing their children, and then by bringing them to God and claiming His blessing upon them. By the faithful and untiring efforts of the parents, and the blessing and grace entreated of God upon the children, the power of the evil angels will be broken, a sanctifying influence is shed upon the children, and the powers of darkness must give back. When the destroying angel was to pass through Egypt, to destroy the first-born of man and beast, Israel was commanded to gather their children and families into their houses with them, and then mark their door-posts with blood, that the destroying angel might pass by their dwellings, and if they failed to go through with this process, there was no difference made between them and the Egyptians.

The destroying angel is soon to go forth again, not to destroy the first-born alone, but “to slay utterly old and young, both men, women and little children” who have not the mark. Parents, if you wish to save your children, separate them from the world, keep them from the company of wicked children; for if you suffer them to go with wicked children, you cannot prevent them from partaking of their wickedness and being corrupted. It is your solemn duty to watch over your children, to choose the society at all times for them. Teach your children to obey you, then can they more easily obey the commandments of God, and yield to His requirements. Do not let us neglect to pray with, and for our children. He that said, “Suffer little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not,” will listen to our prayers for them, and the seal, or mark of believing parents will cover their children, if they are trained up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

  1. G. White

Review and Herald, September 19, 1854.

 

The Pen of Inspiration – The Mother’s Work

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I wish to arouse parents to see the importance of their position. Few parents take time to think of how much depends on the instruction and training a child receives during the early years of its life. It is at this time that the foundation of a child’s character is laid. “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it,” are the words of the wise man. [Proverbs 22:6.] The lessons a child learns at the mother’s knee determine its future experience.

How few parents realize this as they should. As I have called mothers’ attention to the wrong habits they were encouraging in their little ones, some have listened indifferently, while others have said, with a smile, “I can not bear to cross my children. They will do better as they grow older. They will then be ashamed of these passionate outbursts. It is not well to be too strict with little ones. They will outgrow the inclination to tell untruths, to meddle, to be indolent and selfish.”

A very easy way truly to dispose of the matter, but a way that is not in harmony with the will of God. If a field is left uncultivated, a crop of weeds is sure to appear. So it is with children. If the soil of the heart is uncultivated, Satan sows his seeds of anger and hatred, selfishness and pride, and they quickly spring up, to bear a harvest that parents reap with bitter regret. Too late they see their terrible mistake. The wrong they have done can never be wholly undone. Even if the child, by patient, untiring care, is at last won to the Saviour, his character will always bear the marks of Satan’s seed-sowing.

Children left to themselves grow up selfish, exacting, unlovable. Unable to enjoy their own society or the society of others, their lives are filled with discontent.

Aided by the grace of Christ, mothers have it in their power to do a great and grand work. This Satan knows, and he works with all his power to prevent them from doing this work. He seeks to fill the mind with thoughts of fashionable dress. Thus he absorbs the time and strength of even Christian mothers so that they have no time to give to the training of their children or to self-improvement. When the enemy thus secures the attention of the mother, he rejoices; for he knows how much he has gained. He looks on the children as an easy prey; for he has won the mother. She thinks more of display, more of what others think and say of her, than she does of the training of the precious souls in her care. As she sets her feet in the path of fashion, she becomes infatuated. In order to keep pace with the demands of the bondage in which she has sold herself, she works early and late, overtaxing mind and body. She becomes so wearied with remodeling unfashionable garments and making new ones, that she has no heart to read her Bible or to pray. She is too tired to give time to her children. She becomes perplexed and distressed. The yoke that she is trying to bear is very galling; but she imagines that it must be borne, and martyr-like she toils on, struggling under her self-imposed burden. Jesus is calling, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. . . . My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” [Matthew 11:28, 30.] But she does not hear the gracious invitation. The Saviour’s voice is drowned by the clamorous demands of fashion.

Mothers, do not forget that God requires you to give your children constant, loving care. He does not want you to be a slave to your children, but he does want you to teach them to live for him. Day by day give them lessons that will prepare them for future usefulness. One lesson that you will have to repeat over and over again is the lesson of obedience. Teach your children that they are not to rule, that they are to respect your wishes, and yield to your authority. Thus you are teaching them self-control. Give them nothing for which they cry, even though your tender heart would lead you to indulge them. If they gain the victory once by crying, they will expect to do so again, and the next time they will be harder to control.

Children inherit inclinations to wrong, but they also have many lovely traits of character. These should be strengthened and developed, while the tendencies to evil should be carefully guarded against and repressed. Children should never be flattered, for flattery is poison to them; but parents should show a sanctified, tender regard for them, thus gaining their confidence and love.

When children lose their self-control, and speak passionate words, the parents should for a time keep silent, neither reproving nor condemning. At such times silence is golden, and will do more to bring repentance than any words that can be uttered. Satan is well pleased when parents irritate their children by speaking harsh, angry words. Paul has given a caution on this point: “Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” [Colossians 3:21.] They may be very wrong, but you can not lead them to the right by losing patience with them. Let your calmness help to restore them to a proper frame of mind.

Jesus loves children and youth. He rejoices when he sees Satan repulsed in his efforts to overcome them. Many a youth is in imminent peril through manifold temptations, but the Saviour has the tenderest sympathy for him, and sends his angels to guard and protect him. He is the good shepherd, ever ready to go into the wilderness to seek for the lost, straying sheep.

Mothers, do you sigh for a missionary field? In your home you have a missionary field in which you may labor with untiring energy and unflagging zeal, knowing that the results of your work will endure through all eternity. Are not the souls of your children of as much value as the souls of the heathen? Then tend them with loving care, bringing God into their thoughts.

Who can do this work so well as a God-fearing mother? The work of the mother who has a close connection with Christ is of infinite worth. Her ministry of love makes the home a Bethel. Christ works with her, turning the common water of life into the wine of heaven.

Christian parents, you are charged with the responsibility of showing the world the power and excellency of home religion. Be controlled by principle, not by impulse. Work with the consciousness that God is your helper. Allow nothing to divert you from your God-given mission. Be true to your trust. God will help you. Guided by him, your children will grow up to bless and honor you in this life and in the life to come.

Review and Herald, January 24, 1907.

Ellen G. White (1827–1915) wrote more than 5,000 periodical articles and 40 books during her lifetime. Today, including compilations from her 50,000 pages of manuscript, more than 100 titles are available in English. She is the most translated woman writer in the entire history of literature, and the most translated American author of either gender. Seventh-day Adventists believe that Mrs. White was appointed by God as a special messenger to draw the world’s attention to the Holy Scriptures and help prepare people for Christ’s second advent.