children

The Essence of Heaven, Part II

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Ellen White counseled: “Parents, make your home a little heaven on earth. You can do this, if you so choose. . . . You can so relate yourselves to God that His Spirit will abide in your home. Come close to the bleeding side of the Man of Calvary. Those who are partakers with Him in His sufferings will at last be partakers with Him in His glory.” Sermons and Talks, vol. 2, 200. If your home is not a little heaven to go to heaven in, at least one of the people in that home cannot go to heaven in the condition in which they are right now.

Love Not Forced

The spirit of self-sacrificing love cannot be forced on anybody. A husband cannot force his wife to love him; a wife cannot force her husband to love her; parents cannot force children to love them. You cannot force it. It cannot be commanded.

Ellen White wrote, “The exercise of force is contrary to the principles of God’s government; He desires only the service of love; and love cannot be commanded; it cannot be won by force or authority. Only by love is love awakened. To know God is to love Him; His character must be manifested in contrast to the character of Satan. This work only one Being in all the universe could do. Only He who knew the height and depth of the love of God could make it known.” The Desire of Ages, 22.

Let us consider this in a very practical way for a moment. Some of you will be able to relate to this because you have children. Now, a human baby is born to be loved, but the baby does not understand very much about love. Some of the babies you see today you would think know nothing about love. Be that as it may be, no baby knows very much about love, but the mother is supposed to know about love, and if the mother knows about love, the mother starts giving love to the baby. It is a wonderful thing to see. Every day, several times a day, the mother gives love to the baby. It is expressed in many different ways¾by touching, by stroking, by the expression on the face, by the tone of the voice, by giving food, by giving water, by making the baby comfortable. There is a reason that God made human babies so they require a lot of care. It is in the process of receiving that care that they learn what love is.

But the time comes when the baby starts to really respond to the mother’s love. It is very interesting to see this response. Why is the baby responding to the mother’s love? Because the baby has received so much love from the mother that now this baby has love to give back to the mother.

Now, let me ask you a serious question, albeit an awful question, but we need to face reality. What if the baby is born to a woman who is angry and bitter and does not have very much love to give? Do you know what will happen?

Let us read about it: “The reason why there are so many hard-hearted men and women in our world, is because true affection has been regarded as weakness, and has been discouraged and repressed. The better part of the nature of those of this class was perverted and dwarfed in childhood; and unless rays of divine light can melt away their coldness and hard-hearted selfishness, the happiness of such is buried forever.” Review and Herald, June 22, 1886.

How awful this is! Their happiness is buried forever, unless Divine love can break through that ice.

“If we would have tender hearts, such as Jesus had when he was upon the earth, and sanctified sympathy, such as the angels have for sinful mortals, we must cultivate the sympathies of childhood, which are simplicity itself. Then we shall be refined, elevated, and directed by heavenly principles.” Ibid.

There are people all around us¾I do not say this to judge anyone¾especially in our time much more so than 50 years ago who are spiritually and emotionally crippled, and they will be spiritually and emotionally crippled until Jesus comes, because of the spiritual and emotional damage that was inflicted on them from babyhood up through childhood.

I am not saying that those people cannot be saved. God can save people whether or not they are physically crippled or spiritually and emotionally crippled, but the fact remains that in this world they are spiritually and emotionally crippled.

I mention these things to hopefully be a little bit of help to those of you who are parents of small children. Do not repress or neglect to give affection to your small children. If you do, they will grow up to be hard-hearted men and women. They will be emotionally crippled for the rest of their lives in this world.

Feminist Movement

The principle of sacrificing yourself for the good of others has special meaning and implications when discussing the marriage institution. Through my studies, I understand a little bit about what has happened in society since ancient Rome.

In the world today is something that is called the Feminist Movement. Most Seventh-day Adventist preachers seem to delight in condemning and criticizing the Feminist Movement. I am not saying that it is good; I am not trying to promote it, but I think it is right to recognize that it came as a reaction to a different extreme. What was the different extreme? Men said to their wives, “I am the head of the house; you do whatever I say.”

In my studies, I was shocked to see how different society was in the time of John Wesley (1703-1791). A man and his wife came to Wesley, the wife saying that her husband had been beating her. Wesley had a lady examine her, and sure enough, she was black and blue from her neck down to her feet. The husband declared, “I was full of faith while I was doing it,” and he was excused. His actions were considered to be all right. As an outgrowth of such action, some of the Methodist Christians decided that they needed to make a rule. This just shows you how far the human mind can go astray¾they decided that a man should not beat his wife with a rod that was thicker than his thumb. What kind of society was that?

It was in reaction to this kind of thinking that the Feminist Movement arose. The Feminist Movement, of course, goes to a different extreme. This whole idea of who is the boss, who is the greatest, and all this, is something that destroys the homes and marriages. It can destroy the whole universe if it gets out of hand.

Who Is In Control?

You see, that is part of the original controversy. Who is going to be boss? Jesus addressed this problem in Matthew 20:20-23, “Then there approached Him the mother of the sons of Zebedee with her sons, worshipping and desiring a certain thing from Him. And He said to her, ‘What do you want?’ She said to Him, ‘Grant in order that these my two sons may sit one at Your right hand and one at Your left in Your kingdom.’ Jesus answering said, ‘You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink of the cup that I am about to drink of, and the baptism that I am about to be baptized with?’ They say, ‘We are able.’ And He says to them, ‘You shall indeed drink of My cup and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it shall be given to those for whom it is prepared by My Father.’ ”

At the time Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, suffering in terrible agony, if He had gone to James and John and asked them, “Are you able to drink the cup that I am drinking, and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” they would not have been so self-confident. But now, although He did not promise that He was going to give this honor to them, it still aroused trouble in the church. The apostles got very angry about it. We are told in verse 24, “And the ten, hearing, were indignant concerning the two brothers.”

Why were they angry? Because they wanted the top position too! This is the same thing that happens in the family. The husband and wife are fighting about who is going to get the final say on something.

Just Great or No. 1

Matthew 20 continues: “Jesus called them and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the nations lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. But it shall not be like this among you, but whoever wishes among you to be great, let him be your deacon.’ ” Verse 25. (A deacon is a middle-class servant.)

What if you do not want to be just great; what if you want to be No. 1? Jesus said, “If you want to be great, become a servant,” but then He goes on to say, in verse 27, “And whoever wishes among you to be first, let him be your doulos.” Now, a doulos was not a middle-class servant; a doulos was a slave or a bondservant. That was the lowest level of servanthood.

If you want to be great, Christ said that you should be a diakonos, a deacon. But if you want to be first, be a doulos, a bondservant. Are you catching on to what Jesus is saying? If you just want to be great, you can be a servant, but if you really want to be great, then you need to go even lower in servanthood.

Jesus demonstrated this in His own life. Who was the Majesty of heaven? Jesus Christ. He was the Majesty of heaven. The Father called Him, My One and only One¾He is Mine, and I am well pleased with Him. (11 Peter 1:17.)

Christ was the Majesty of heaven. He was equal with God the Father. There are still Christians arguing about this today. I am not interested in arguing about it, if somebody does not believe it. Inspired writings are very clear, in my understanding, that Jesus Christ is equal with the Father. (See Philippians 2:6.)

The One that is in first place in the universe left it all, and He came down to this earth for a wretch like me. And then, after He came down, He went to the cross for me. When He died on the cross, He had gone as low as anybody could go. You cannot go lower than that in servanthood.

If you read the New Testament in the Greek language, you will find that when Paul addresses the Christian churches, he refers to himself as a doulos of Jesus Christ every time except one—when he refers to himself as a deacon. He considered himself to be a bondservant, a slave of Jesus Christ.

If you and I do not learn the lesson being given here, we will never be in the kingdom of heaven. We can keep the Sabbath; we can pay tithe; but if we do not learn this, we will not be in the kingdom of heaven. This is the very essence of heaven. This is the essence of its bliss.

I do not know about you, but when I studied this subject, I recognized that I am not ready to go to heaven. I need a change inside; do you? Before we are ever going to have heaven on the outside, we have to have heaven on the inside.

Our Great Need

I would like to illustrate for you our great need and the great lack that we have of learning this principle in Adventism, because I know that we do not have it. I am not judging anybody, but I am going to show you now how I know we do not have it. Consider the words of Ellen White:

“We, living far down the passage of ages, have the privilege of studying the Old Testament in connection with the New. Our faith and courage should be strong as we see prophecies fulfilling. But how many there are who are unbelieving. How many there are who reveal selfishness and unkindness in their dealings with one another. How many professing Christians seem never to be satisfied unless they are engaged in strife. How many home circles are broken because the members receive and act upon Satan’s suggestions.

“No unpleasant words are spoken in heaven. There no unkind thoughts are cherished. There envy, evil surmising, hatred, and strife find no place. Perfect harmony pervades the heavenly courts.

“Well does Satan know what heaven is, and what the influence of the angels is. His work is to bring into every family the cruel elements of self-will, harshness, selfishness. Thus he seeks to destroy the happiness of the family. He knows that the spirit governing in the home will be brought into the church.

“Let the father and mother always be guarded in their words and actions. The husband is to treat his wife, the mother of his children, with due respect, and the wife is to love and reverence her husband. How can she do this if he treats her like a servant, to be dictated to, ordered about, scolded, found fault with before the children? He is forcing her to dislike him and even to hate him.

“May God help fathers and mothers to open the windows of the soul heavenward and let the sunshine of Christ into the homelife. Unless they do this, they will be surrounded by a mist and fog most injurious to spirituality.

“Fathers and mothers, bring sweetness and brightness and hopefulness into the lives of your children. Kindness and love will work wonders. Never punish a child in anger. When you do this, you are acting like grown-up children, who have not left behind them the unreasonableness of childhood. Will you strive earnestly to be able to say, ‘When I became a man, I put away childish things’?” The Upward Look, 163.

In every family the devil is trying to do something. He is trying to bring in dissension and the cruel principles of selfishness, because he knows that if he can bring his principles in¾that includes the principle where I am No. 1, and you have to make me happy—it will destroy the happiness of the family.

Devil’s Success

As a pastor, I visit families all over when I travel. I am sorry to tell you that the devil has been very successful among Seventh-day Adventist Christians. He has been so successful that the divorce rate among Seventh-day Adventists is about the same as it is in the world. (<en.allexperts.com/q/Seventh-Day-Adventists-2318/biblical-inquiry.htm> June 4, 2007.) If your home is a little heaven to go to heaven in, do you suppose divorce is going to happen? No, it will not.

Why is the devil so hard at work in every single family to bring in the cruel principles of selfishness, dissension, arguing and strife, and destroy the happiness of the family?

Ellen White, as we read in the book The Upward Look, has told us exactly what his goal and his objective is. He is not trying to bring in dissension and the cruel principles of selfishness and strife just because he wants to destroy your family. He has something much bigger in mind. She says that the devil knows that the same principles worked out in people’s families will be worked out in the church.

Now, let us think this through. If every family in the church has a little heaven to go to heaven in, because they are practicing the principles of self-sacrificing love with each other, then when all the families get together, is it going to be like hell or heaven? Of course, it is going to be like heaven! But the devil knows that whatever principles are acted out at home will be acted out in church.

As I travel and preach at different churches, I find that the churches are experiencing terrible trouble with strife and dissension. What does that tell us? We do not have to be real intelligent; we do not have to have a college education to figure it out; we do not have to be prophets. If there is strife and dissension in the church, that tells us that there is strife and dissension in the homes of the people in that church. What does that mean? It means we are not yet ready to go to heaven.

Prayer Needed

We have some praying to do. We need to pray that the Holy Spirit will come in and change our hearts. There is a passage from Ellen White’s writings that I repeat to myself every day: “The part of the Christian is to persevere in overcoming every fault. Constantly he is to pray to the Saviour to heal the disorders of his sin-sick soul.” The Acts of the Apostles, 532. I have told the Lord that if He has told me to pray that constantly, I am going to do it.

Do you want the disorders of your sin-sick soul to be healed? Oh, I want to tell you that when the disorder of the sin-sick soul of the wife is healed and when the disorder of the sin-sick soul of the husband is healed, something will change in the family. It will no longer be like purgatory in the home.

There will be a change within the church too. We are going to experience what the early believers called “the fellowship of the saints.” “We are to engage earnestly in a spiritual warfare which we do not consider as we should, and we fail to appreciate what it means. The confederacy of evil is arrayed against those who would fight the battles of the Lord.

“But we battle not alone. The fellowship of the saints in light is ours, the championship of the hosts of heaven is ours, and more than angels are on our side; for leading the ranks of his armies is the Captain of the Lord’s hosts. He is Commander of the battle, and as he leads his army to the fields of action, his voice is heard above the din of the battle and the strife, ‘Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.’ [John 16:33.] Our leader is a conqueror. Advance, then, to victory.” Review and Herald, March 14, 1893.

May we learn the lesson of self-sacrificing love, which is the very essence of the bliss of heaven.

[Bible texts quoted are literal translation.]

Pastor John Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by e-mail at: historic@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

Health – Kids: Connection to Nature Lessens Distress, Hyperactivity, and Behavioral Problems

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City lifestyle has been criticized for being an important reason for children being disconnected from nature. This has led to an unhealthy lifestyle in regard to active play and eating habits. Even worse, many young children do not feel well psychologically – they are often stressed and depressed. Sixteen percent of pre-schoolers in Hong Kong and up to 22% in China show signs of mental health problems.

Recent research shows that spending time in nature may bring many health benefits, and many environmental programs around the world are trying to decrease ‘nature-deficit’ and ‘child-nature disconnectedness’ in order to improve children’s health. For example, the World Health Organization, in order to monitor implementation of the Parma Declaration commitment to providing every child with access to “green spaces to play and undertake physical activity,” has set a 300-meter target. Interestingly, 90 per cent of the Hong Kong population lives within 400 metres of such areas. However, despite the extensive, adjacent greenness, families are not using these areas.

“We noticed a tendency where parents are avoiding nature. They perceive it as dirty and dangerous, and their children unfortunately pick up these attitudes. In addition, the green areas are often unwelcoming with signs like ‘Keep off the grass,’ ” said Dr. Tanja Sobko from the School of Biological Sciences of the University of Hong Kong. Until now, it has not been possible to measure connectedness to nature in preschool children, mostly due to the fact that they are too young to answer for themselves.

A new 16-item parent questionnaire to measure “connectedness to nature” in very young children has been developed by Dr. Sobko and her collaborator Prof. Gavin Brown, Director of the Quantitative Data Analysis and Research Unit at the University of Auckland. The questionnaire identified four areas that reflect the child-nature relationship: enjoyment of nature, empathy for nature, responsibility towards nature, and awareness of nature.

The study consisted of two parts: the initial interviews with the families and the subsequent development of the questionnaire. Altogether, 493 families with children aged between 2 and 5 have participated in the study. Finally, the new questionnaire was tested against the Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire, a well-established measurement of psychological well-being and children’s behaviour problems. The results revealed that parents who ensured that their child had a closer connection with nature discovered that the child had less distress, less hyperactivity, and fewer behavioural and emotional difficulties, and improved pro-social behaviour. Interestingly, children who took greater responsibility towards their interaction with nature had fewer peer difficulties. The results give a new possibility for investigating the link between the outdoor environment and well-being in pre-school children.

The study is part of Dr. Sobko’s research-based program “Play&Grow,” which is the first in Hong Kong to promote healthy eating and active playtime with preschool children by connecting them to nature. Launched 2016, it has so far included almost 1000 families from all over Hong Kong.

The findings have been published in the multidisciplinary Open Access journal, PLOS ONE. The new scale has already attracted international attention and is being adopted by universities worldwide including Western Australia and Deakin Universities. In addition, the HKU-developed “Play&Grow” program is also on track to be conducted in Australia. …

The next step is to further fine-tune future health promotion/disease prevention interventions, which Dr. Sobko and the team are committed to. … The new exciting extension of this work is to test the effect of exposing children to nature and then assessing for changes in their gut microbiota.

(Adapted from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/01/190111095125.htm.)

For children, play is learning. There is no better space for kids to learn than the outdoors, and there is no better play resource than nature.

One of the best lessons children can be taught in their early years is to play outdoors. Children innately reap great benefits as they grow connection with and appreciation of the natural environment. In the structured, busy and technologically-advanced world we live in, the role of outdoor play that we experienced as children is being forgotten.

“Nature play” significantly improves all aspects of child development – physical, cognitive, social and emotional. …

There are many benefits to participating in nature play as a child, which also resonate into adulthood. Such outcomes from nature play include achievement, innovation, creativity, positive relationship development, skill development, self-awareness directly related to employability skills planning, organizing, decision making, innovation, problem solving, communication and working with others. The connection between these skills and the skills that will contribute to success later in life are clear to see.

Conversely, children who are not supported, encouraged, inspired or provided the opportunity to develop an intrinsic love of outdoor play are increasingly becoming disconnected from nature, to their detriment.

Children who don’t regularly participate in outdoor play lead sedentary lifestyles and are put at risk. Richard Louv, the American social commentator who wrote Last Child in the Woods, coined the term “nature deficit disorder” to describe as an illness afflicting children disconnected from nature. Symptoms of nature deficit disorder (as outlined by Louv, 2005) include depression, hyperactivity, boredom and loneliness. It may also manifest in reduced motor development and diminished mental and psychological health, including lack of attention, learning ability and creativity.

According to “Beyond Blue to Green,” a 2010 Australian report on the benefits of contact with nature for mental health and wellbeing, if we don’t take drastic changes to curb current sedentary indoor lifestyle trends, it is foreseeable that obesity, depression, stress, anxiety and mental health issues – which are all closely linked – will also continue to rapidly increase.

(Adapted from https://www.natureplayqld.org.au/nature-play-in-early-years-education.)

“In early ages, with the people who were under God’s direction, life was simple. They lived close to the heart of nature. Their children shared in the labor of the parents and studied the beauties and mysteries of nature’s treasure house. And in the quiet of field and wood they pondered those mighty truths handed down as a sacred trust from generation to generation. Such training produced strong men.

“ … we may learn from them lessons that will make our seasons of recreation what the name implies—seasons of true upbuilding for body and mind and soul.” The Adventist Home, 501.

“For the first eight or ten years of a child’s life the field or garden is the best schoolroom, the mother the best teacher, nature the best lesson book. Even when the child is old enough to attend school, his health should be regarded as of greater importance than a knowledge of books. He should be surrounded with the conditions most favorable to both physical and mental growth.

“To the nervous child, who finds lessons from books exhausting and hard to remember, it [work in garden and field] will be especially valuable. There is health and happiness for him in the study of nature. …

“Working the soil is one of the best kinds of employment, calling the muscles into action and resting the mind.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 179.

“Little children should be permitted to run and play out of doors, enjoying the fresh, pure air, and the life-giving sunshine. Let the foundation of a strong constitution be laid in early life.” The Review and Herald, January 10, 1882.

“In order for children … to have health, cheerfulness, vivacity, and well-developed muscles and brains, they should be much in the open air … .” Counsels on Health, 177, 178.

The Self-Recrimination of a Mother

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My daughters often give me tokens of their love and appreciation. As I write this article I have a lovingly-made, hand-crafted piece of art hanging on my refrigerator that says, “Mom, you are the best mother in the whole world!” My two-year-old son has a multi-sensory approach to sharing his love—smiles, giggles and kisses.

Not only do I have devoted admirers in my children, but my husband has told me that I am the best wife and mother in the world. Being the honest soul that he is, he did qualify his statement. He said that it is theoretically possible that there could be a better wife and mother somewhere in the world, but he certainly did not know who it would be. And if there were someone, or even a few women who might be better, I would certainly be in a very select group.

Imperfect and Inadequate

One would expect that with such affection from my loving family (who clearly wear rose-colored glasses), I would be quite confident of my abilities to be a successful wife and mother. But often I find myself painfully aware of my inadequacies and defects.

Likely, not a day goes by that I do not wish I were better able to fulfill my duties as a wife and mother. My thoughts run along the lines of: “If only I could better organize our home. If only I had more time for Bible study. If only I were more patient. If only I could be a better example for my children. If only I would bring a more cheerful atmosphere into the home. If only I were more efficient. If only. Yes, if only I could be a better wife and mother.”

There are days I do not experience feelings of accomplishment or success. Survival seems to be the sought-after achievement of these “if only” days. Endeavoring to train my children for the service of God; trying to keep up with feeding, clothing, bathing, educating, and loving my children; as well as managing our money, trying to be a good wife, helping at church, trying to be a good neighbor and witnessing in the community sometimes feels like plugging the leaks in a breaking dam! Why is it that I cannot seem to do it all and do it well? Is this really what Christian motherhood is supposed to be like? Why do I never feel good enough no matter what my children and husband say?

The Cause of Self-recrimination

Recently, I read from a chapter about teachers out of the treasured volume, Education. I thought I should read it, due to the fact that I homeschool our children; because I am not only their mother, but also their teacher. After reading about the qualities and characteristics of the ideal teacher, my heart sank. It presented such a high ideal, one that I do not come close to reaching. At the end of the chapter, however, I read an insight that helped me understand why I struggle with self-recrimination. It is written for teachers, but it is just as applicable to mothers, who, after all, are a child’s first teacher.

“The deeper the sense of responsibility, and the more earnest the effort for self-improvement, the more clearly will the teacher perceive and the more keenly regret the defects that hinder his usefulness. As he beholds the magnitude of his work, its difficulties and possibilities, often will his heart cry out, ‘Who is sufficient for these things?’ ” Education, 281, 282.

Why are we, as mothers, so acutely sensitive of our faults and imperfections? The answer is that we feel so keenly because we care so deeply. We crave to be the best for our children.

My fellow mother, if you are intensely aware of your shortcomings, if you struggle with self-recrimination, take heart. God knows the desires of your heart. He knows how much you want to please Him. He knows how you long to do better work and how you want to lead your children into a saving relationship with Him.

The Cure for Self-recrimination

I continued reading in Education and found that God not only understands the cause of my feelings of inadequacy, but He also longs to give me His power to look past those feelings. He wants me to continue my earnest endeavor for self-improvement, but He wants me to look outside of myself, beyond my faultiness, to Him and the power in His promises.

“… As you consider your need of strength and guidance,—need that no human source can supply … consider the promises of Him who is the wonderful Counselor.” Education, 282.

I have found the most valuable and practical instruction regarding motherhood in the Spirit of Prophecy. I believe in studying Bible prophecy and Bible doctrines. I enjoy reading from devotionals. But as mothers, we should regularly be studying what the inspired writings teach about motherhood. God knows the challenges of mothers. The role of mothers is the most important in the world. And because it is so important, God has left specific counsel just for mothers. From that counsel, we should glean the precious promises. They will cheer our hearts and give us courage.

There is power in God’s promises. It is real power. It is physical power to accomplish a day’s work. It is mental power to think and work efficiently. It is spiritual power to overcome our character defects. It is transferable power that works through us to mold and shape the hearts and minds of our children. In short, it is power to reflect the character of Jesus.

Results of Using the Cure

The chapter in Education that gave me insight into the cause of self-recrimination, as well as the cure, closes with a wonderful promise of secret power to those who implement the sure remedy.

“… As the highest preparation for your work, I point you to the words, the life, the methods, of the Prince of teachers. I bid you consider Him. Here is your true ideal. Behold it, dwell upon it, until the Spirit of the divine Teacher shall take possession of your heart and life.

“ ‘Reflecting as a mirror the glory of the Lord,’ you will be ‘transformed into the same image.’ II Corinthians 3:18, R.V.

“This is the secret of power over your pupils [children]. Reflect Him. …” Education, 282.

Mothers, I challenge you to implement the cure for self-recrimination. In the daily struggle of motherhood, take time to focus on the promises of God and less on your defects and unworthiness. Claim God’s promises as your own. Trust Him with all your shortcomings. Dwell on Jesus’ perfect character. As you trust Him, as you dwell on His character, your children will see Jesus’ power working through you. A secret power will come over them—a power that will work to fulfill your greatest desire—the salvation of your children.

Teresa Grosboll writes from her home in Camas, Washington, where she lives with her supportive husband, their two loving daughters and energetic two-year-old son. She may be contacted via e-mail at grosbolls@yahoo.com.

Pen of Inspiration – Foundations

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Parental Government to Be a Study

The work of the parent is seldom done as it should be. … Parents, have you studied parental government that you may wisely train the will and impulse of your children? Teach the young tendrils to entwine about God for support. It is not enough that you say, Do this, or, Do that, and then become utterly regardless and forgetful of what you have required, and the children are not careful to do your commands. Prepare the way for your child to obey your commands cheerfully; teach the tendrils to cling to Jesus. … Teach them to ask the Lord to help them in the little things of life; to be wide awake to see the small duties which need to be done; to be helpful in the home. If you do not educate them, there is one who will, for Satan is watching his opportunity to sow the seeds of tares in the heart.

Approach Task With Restful Spirit and Loving Heart

My sister, has God entrusted you with the responsibilities of a mother? … You need to learn right methods and acquire tact for the training of your little ones, that they may keep the way of the Lord. You need to seek constantly the highest culture of mind and soul, that you may bring to the education and training of your children a restful spirit, a loving heart; that you may imbue them with pure aspirations, and cultivate in them a love for things honest and pure and holy. As a humble child of God, learn in the school of Christ; seek constantly to improve your powers, that you may do the most perfect, thorough work at home, by both precept and example.

The Effect of a Quiet, Gentle Manner

Few realize the effect of a mild, firm manner, even in the care of an infant. The fretful, impatient mother or nurse creates peevishness in the child in her arms, whereas a gentle manner tends to quiet the nerves of the little one.

Theories Are to Be Tested

The study of books will be of little benefit, unless the ideas gained can be carried out in practical life. And yet the most valuable suggestions of others should not be adopted without thought and discrimination. They may not be equally adapted to the circumstances of every mother, or to the peculiar disposition or temperament of each child in the family. Let the mother study with care the experience of others, note the difference between their methods and her own, and carefully test those that appear to be of real value.

Methods Employed in Ancient Times

From the earliest times the faithful in Israel had given much attention to the matter of education. The Lord had directed that the children, even from babyhood, should be taught of His goodness and His greatness, especially as revealed in His law and shown in the history of Israel. Through song and prayer, and lessons from the Scriptures, adapted to the opening mind, fathers and mothers were to instruct their children that the law of God is an expression of His character, and that as they received the principles of the law into the heart, the image of God was traced on mind and soul. In both the school and the home, much of the teaching was oral, but the youth also learned to read the Hebrew writings; and the parchment rolls of the Old Testament Scriptures were open to their study.

Teach With Kindliness and Affection

It is the special work of fathers and mothers to teach their children with kindliness and affection. They are to show that as parents they are the ones to hold the lines, to govern, and not to be governed by their children. They are to teach that obedience is required of them.

The restless spirit naturally inclines to mischief; the active mind, if left unoccupied with better things, will give heed to that which Satan may suggest. The children need … to be instructed, to be guided in safe paths, to be kept from vice, to be won by kindness, and be confirmed in well-doing.

Fathers and mothers, you have a solemn work to do. The eternal salvation of your children depends upon your course of action. How will you successfully educate your children? Not by scolding, for it will do no good. Talk to your children as if you had confidence in their intelligence. Deal with them kindly, tenderly, lovingly. Tell them what God would have them do. Tell them that God would have them educated and trained to be laborers together with Him. When you act your part, you can trust the Lord to act His part.

Take Time to Reason

Every mother should take time to reason with her children, to correct their errors, and patiently teach them the right way.

Vary the Manner of Instruction

The greatest care should be taken in the education of youth, to vary the manner of instruction so as to call forth the high and noble powers of the mind. … There are very few who realize the most essential wants of the mind, and how to direct the developing intellect, the growing thoughts and feelings of youth.

Teach the First Lessons in the Out-of-doors

Mothers, let the little ones play in the open air; let them listen to the songs of the birds and learn the love of God as expressed in His beautiful works. Teach them simple lessons from the book of nature and the things about them; and as their minds expand, lessons from books may be added and firmly fixed in their memory.

The cultivation of the soil is good work for children and youth. It brings them into direct contact with nature and nature’s God. And that they may have this advantage, there should be, as far as possible, in connection with our schools, large flower gardens and extensive lands for cultivation.

An education amid such surroundings is in accordance with the directions which God has given for the instruction of youth. …

To the nervous child or youth, who finds lessons from books exhausting and hard to remember, it will be especially valuable. There is health and happiness for him in the study of nature; and the impressions made will not fade out of his mind, for they will be associated with objects that are continually before his eyes.

Make Lessons Short and Interesting

When parents thoroughly act their part, giving them line upon line, and precept upon precept, making their lessons short and interesting, and teaching them not only by precept but by example, the Lord will work with their efforts and make them efficient teachers.

Say It Simply; Say It Often

Those who instruct children should avoid tedious remarks. Short remarks and to the point will have a happy influence. If much is to be said, make up for briefness by frequency. A few words of interest, now and then, will be more beneficial than to have it all at once. Long speeches burden the small minds of children. Too much talk will lead them to loathe even spiritual instruction, just as overeating burdens the stomach and lessens the appetite, leading even to a loathing of food. The minds of the people may be glutted with too much speechifying.

Encourage Independent Thinking

While the children and youth gain a knowledge of facts from teachers and textbooks, let them learn to draw lessons and discern truth for themselves. In their gardening, question them as to what they learn from the care of their plants. As they look on a beautiful landscape, ask them why God clothed the fields and woods with such lovely and varied hues. Why was not all colored a somber brown? When they gather the flowers, lead them to think why He spared us the beauty of these wanderers from Eden. Teach them to notice the evidences everywhere manifest in nature of God’s thought for us, the wonderful adaptation of all things to our need and happiness.

Direct Childhood Activity

Parents need not feel that it is necessary to repress the activity of their children, but they are to understand that it is essential to guide and train them in right and proper directions. These active impulses are like the vines, that, if untrained, will run over every stump and brush, and fasten their tendrils upon low supports. If the vines are not trained about some proper support, they waste their energies to no purpose. So it is with children. Their activities must be trained in the right direction. Give their hands and minds something to do that will advance them in physical and mental attainments.

Teach Helpfulness at an Early Age

Very early the lesson of helpfulness should be taught the child. As soon as strength and reasoning power are sufficiently developed, he should be given duties to perform in the home. He should be encouraged in trying to help father and mother, encouraged to deny and to control himself, to put others’ happiness and convenience before his own, to watch for opportunities to cheer and assist brothers and sisters and playmates, and to show kindness to the aged, the sick, and the unfortunate. The more fully the spirit of true ministry pervades the home, the more fully it will be developed in the lives of the children. They will learn to find joy in service and sacrifice for the good of others.

Parents, help your children to do the will of God by being faithful in the performance of the duties which really belong to them as members of the family. This will give them a most valuable experience. It will teach them that they are not to center their thoughts upon themselves, to do their own pleasure, or to amuse themselves. Patiently educate them to act their part in the family circle.

Fashion Character by Little Attentions, Often Repeated

Parents, in the training of your children, study the lessons that God has given in nature. If you would train a pink, or rose, or lily, how would you do it? Ask the gardener by what process he makes every branch and leaf to flourish so beautifully, and to develop in symmetry and loveliness. He will tell you that it was by no rude touch, no violent effort; for this would only break the delicate stems. It was by little attentions, often repeated. He moistened the soil and protected the growing plants from the fierce blasts and from the scorching sun, and God caused them to flourish and to blossom into loveliness. In dealing with your children, follow the method of the gardener. By gentle touches, by loving ministrations, seek to fashion their characters after the pattern of the character of Christ.

Give Attention to Little Things

What a great mistake is made in the education of children and youth, in favoring, indulging, and petting them! They become selfish and inefficient, and lack energy in the little things of life. They are not trained to acquire strength of character by the performance of everyday duties, lowly though they may be. …

No one is qualified for great and important work, unless he has been faithful in the performance of little duties. It is by degrees that the character is formed, and that the soul is trained to put forth effort and energy proportionate to the task which is to be accomplished.

Talented Children Require Greater Care

We should imprint upon our children’s minds that they are not their own, to go, and to come, and dress, and act, as they please. … If they possess personal attractions and rare natural abilities, greater care should be taken in their education, lest these endowments be turned to a curse, and are so used as to disqualify them for the sober realities of this life, and, through flattery and vanity and love of display, unfit them for the better life.

Refrain From Undue Notice or Flattery

Give children but little notice. Let them learn to amuse themselves. Do not put them on exhibition before visitors as prodigies of wit or wisdom, but leave them as far as possible to the simplicity of their childhood. One great reason why so many children are forward, bold, and impertinent is they are noticed and praised too much, and their smart, sharp sayings repeated in their hearing. Endeavor not to censure unduly, nor to overwhelm with praise and flattery. Satan will all too soon sow evil seed in their young hearts, and you should not aid him in his work.

Read to Your Children

Fathers and mothers, obtain all the help you can from the study of our books and publications. Take time to read to your children. … Form a home reading circle, in which every member of the family shall lay aside the busy cares of the day, and unite in study. Especially will the youth who have been accustomed to reading novels and cheap storybooks receive benefit from joining in the evening family study.

“Train,” Not “Tell”

To parents is committed the great work of educating and training their children for the future, immortal life. Many fathers and mothers seem to think that if they feed and clothe their little ones, and educate them according to the standard of the world, they have done their duty. They are too much occupied with business or pleasure to make the education of their children the study of their lives. They do not seek to train them so that they will employ their talents for the honor of their Redeemer. Solomon did not say, “Tell a child the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” But, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Educate for Self-control

No work ever undertaken by man requires greater care and skill than the proper training and education of youth and children. There are no influences so potent as those which surround us in our early years. … The nature of man is threefold, and the training enjoined by Solomon comprehends the right development of the physical, intellectual, and moral powers. To perform this work aright, parents and teachers must themselves understand “the way the child should go.” This embraces more than a knowledge of books or the learning of the schools. It comprehends the practice of temperance, brotherly kindness, and godliness; the discharge of our duty to ourselves, to our neighbors, and to God.

The training of children must be conducted on a different principle from that which governs the training of irrational animals. The brute has only to be accustomed to submit to its master, but the child must be taught to control himself. The will must be trained to obey the dictates of reason and conscience. A child may be so disciplined as to have, like the beast, no will of its own, his individuality being lost in that of his teacher. Such training is unwise, and its effect disastrous. Children thus educated will be deficient in firmness and decision. They are not taught to act from principle; the reasoning powers are not strengthened by exercise. So far as possible, every child should be trained to self-reliance. By calling into exercise the various faculties, he will learn where he is strongest, and in what he is deficient. A wise instructor will give special attention to the development of the weaker traits, that the child may form a well-balanced, harmonious character. Child Guidance, 31–39.

Raise up a Child

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Family—the standards of society are set by its members. In turn, the members of society stem from individual families, and it is in the family that the individual has learned to live. The standard of his morals are largely developed and integrated by the habits he has formed due to the influence of his home environment.

At the present time, our world is suffering from a downfall of morals. Children and adults are just what they think, say and do, which is all a product of what they put into their minds. They are listening to pagan music, looking at pictures of people sparsely dressed, and watching TV programs of murders and immorality. Their minds are damaged by what they see and hear; then their words and actions fall into line with what they allow themselves to dwell upon. A home that has a TV for children to look at, even if the parents think it is governed, allows influences that will produce undesirable results.

One of the most blessed things the Lord did for humanity was to create the family. It was made for joy, for the accomplishment of goals in life and, most important of all, to teach us of the love of God and how to fit into society. We are in need today of just such homes, homes where children are trained to love and fear God and to love their fellow men. We are told by the pen of inspiration that, “The family tie is the closest, the most tender and sacred, of any on earth. It was designed to be a blessing to mankind. And it is a blessing wherever the marriage covenant is entered into intelligently, in the fear of God, and with due consideration for its responsibilities.

“Every home should be a place of love, a place where the angels of God abide, working with softening, subduing influence upon the hearts of parents and children.

“Our homes must be made a Bethel, our hearts a shrine. Wherever the love of God is cherished in the soul, there will be peace, there will be light and joy. Spread out the word of God before your families in love, and ask, ‘What hath God spoken?’ ” The Adventist Home, 18, 19.

“The greatest evidence of the power of Christianity that can be presented to the world is a well-ordered, well-disciplined family. This will recommend the truth as nothing else can, for it is a living witness of its practical power upon the heart. … The best test of the Christianity of a home is the type of character begotten by its influence. Actions speak louder than the most positive profession of godliness. … A well-ordered, a well-disciplined family in the sight of God is more precious than fine gold, even than the golden wedge of Ophir.” Ibid., 32.

Now we need a few tips on how we might accomplish such an arduous task. Every child is born with its own mind, its own will and stamina, its own personality; and it is up to the parents to understand. Parents must pattern their home and teaching after the principles laid out in the Bible and Spirit of Prophecy.

“Mothers, take your rightful position as a loving teacher of your children. Remember that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that moves the world. Never give expression to words of anger. Keep a cheerful countenance. Children are very susceptible to expressions of joy and sorrow.” Sermons and Talks, vol. 2,198.

There was once a mother who had three children. She nursed those babies. She read to them from the Spirit of Prophecy, and by the time the oldest one was six months old, he had heard the entire book, The Desire of Ages. These children grew up loving to read Ellen White’s writings.

Children need to be guided and restricted in many things, but it is very important that as soon as a child begins to think, he or she is given the opportunity to do some choosing for himself or herself, and after the child has been given the privilege of choosing, do not deny him his choice. He needs to learn to make decisions, so you must allow his little mind to work with proper guidance.

Another tip about raising children is that they should never be told that they are naughty or that they are bad. They may have done some naughty thing or something that is bad, but never, never tell them that they are bad. Always point them to something better and let them know that what they did was bad or naughty. But don’t tell the child that he is bad or naughty. You may tell him or her that he or she is too good to do such a naughty thing. Let him know that when he makes a mistake he has to pay for it. And when disciplining a child, never speak in an angry tone of voice. Offer up a silent prayer for the Lord to help you not to lose your temper, as children can be very trying at times. These trying experiences are to help us learn the patience that is needed if we are ever to hear the words, “Here is the patience of the saints” [Revelation 14:12.] spoken to us.

Another caution that is important is to never tell a child a lie, such as, “Santa Clause is coming,” or “A big black bear will get you if you are naughty,” or such stories as “Little Red Riding Hood.” She never existed, and they don’t need to know about her. Tell the children the truth; when they are older they will thank you for that.

The most important element in the home is love. Parents, if you think you don’t love each other, go to the Lord in prayer. A very dear family once struggled with this very issue. The wife said that after they were married she found that she really didn’t love her husband and detested having him around; she would have run away from it all, but she did want to be a true Christian, so she began to pray about the situation. At the time she was telling me about this, she said, “You know, Jesus answered my prayers and now I love my husband dearly.” All true love comes from God.

Our children need to see love, and they need to experience love in the home. They also need to know that they are individuals with their own personality, and are forming their own habits, and are responsible for the things they do.

A member of Steps to Life staff, Ruth Grosboll is a retired registered nurse. She worked for many years with her husband in the mission field. She may be contacted by e-mail at: ruthgrosboll@stepstolife.org, or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

The Ten Commandments, Part IV: Idol Worship is Bad News

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“You shall not make for your self a carved image [an idol]—any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth.” (Deuteronomy 5:8.)

The created is not to become the object of worship. The sun, the moon, and the stars in the heavens have been made objects of worship. The creatures of the earth and the creatures in the water have been made objects of worship, but God said, “No!” The reason is spelled out in the next verse, which says, “For I, the Lord thy God, [am] a jealous God.” Deuteronomy 5:9. (What it means for God to be a jealous God was discussed in the first article of this series.)

The second commandment is enforced by a threatened penalty and sustained by a precious promise. “I the Lord thy God [am] a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth [generation] of them that hate me, And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.” Verses 9, 10.

Sins of the Parents

This is a very troubling statement to many people. They feel that it is an arbitrary decree, but it is not. It is the unalterable, eternal law of heredity and environment that the sins and the faults of the parents are handed down to their children and, in many ways, cannot be escaped.

Many children who have grown up in an alcoholic home hate alcoholism. But the environment, the setting, the passions, and the attitudes are passed on to those children, and, usually, 80 percent of children who grow up in alcoholic homes will become alcoholics. It is just the way it works. We grow up in a home with certain kinds of attitudes—whatever those attitudes may be—and those things are handed down to us, to our children, and to our children’s children. This is why the old story of the Hatfields and the McCoys is perpetual. The hatreds are passed on from generation to generation, and, many times, the current generation does not even realize why they have the hatreds.

The Christian call is for us to come to God’s Word, learn what He asks and requires of us, and then look at ourselves in the mirror of His Law. Are we then to ask, “What is my life all about? I see that I am a sinner, but I am incapable of dealing with this issue. Am I to be eternally lost? Should I just fall down in a pool of discouragement and say, ‘There is no help for me’?” No! In 11 Corinthians 5:17, we read: “If anyone [is] in Christ, [he is] a new creation.” We have another chance by being born again and growing up into the full stature and the measure of a person in Christ Jesus, as we are told in Ephesians 4:15.

This life changing experience can happen at the age of 12 years, or it can happen at 80 years. Even in older years, we can still go through this process of changing and maturing in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ. If you are young, God will allow the miracle to grow slower. If you are old, He will pour a lot of “fertilizer” on it, and you will grow very quickly. God has an answer for everything!

These sinful tendencies, which parents have passed on to the children, will be passed on and on, unless Christ intervenes in the lives. This is one of the reasons we hear little sayings such as, “He is acting just like his father,” or, “She is following in her mother’s footsteps.” But it does not have to be that way.

Idol of Fashion

Fashion, in its broadest sense, embraces idolatry. The word fashion means, “to conform to the prevailing modes, practices, and customs of the world.” Worldly fashions have to do chiefly with garments and ornaments with which the body is clothed and bedecked. Usually, we find that all exhibitions of pride and dress, which are contrary to the Word of God, constitute a species of idolatry, and God’s Word declares it so. This is why we, as Seventh-day Adventists, have special counsel relative to the areas of fashion, dress, and adornment. Those things constitute a species of idolatry, which is a transgression of the second commandment.

It is upon the Ten Commandments that hang all the law and the prophets. This second commandment is very profound. Women, as well as men, can be slaves to the idol of fashion. Your adornment should not be an outward thing; it should not be a display of ornaments and articles of dress.

Casebook/Codebook

When I attended Walla Walla College in Walla Walla, Washington, I had a professor by the name of Alden Thompson. Several years after I graduated, he wrote a book entitled, God’s Word: Casebook or Codebook? Codebook meaning that the Bible is just a code of laws and prohibitions, a code of “Thou shalt nots.” Casebook meaning the case histories of how God relates to the sinner through all the failings and difficulties that man encounters. Both aspects are found in the Bible. It is indeed a codebook, and it is indeed a casebook as well!

Nothing New

While studying recently, in the Book of Exodus, I came across something very interesting, in regard to the concept of casebook. Let us see if we can figure out what it was that was so displeasing to God, as we read this passage: “And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for [as for] this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.” Exodus 32:1.

What struck my interest is the next recorded event: “And Aaron said unto them, Break off the golden earrings, which [are] in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring [them] unto me.” Verse 2.

When I read this, I thought, “Surely there is nothing new under the sun!” Idolatry is a perpetual kind of thing that keeps reaping generation after generation after generation. I do not know about you, but I was very dismayed when I first saw an earring in a male’s ear. Then they began showing up in women’s noses; I have witnessed women with multiple earrings from the tops to the bottoms of their ears. From this text in Exodus, take note that this kind of ornamentation is a form of idolatry.

One Sin Leads to Another

“And all the people brake off the golden earrings which [were] in their ears, and brought [them] unto Aaron. And he received [them] at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These [be] thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt. And when Aaron saw [it], he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, To morrow [is] a feast to the Lord.” Verses 3–5. Here was this object, fashioned by their hands, and they held it up before the children of Israel as that which represented Jehovah God! Is it not almost incomprehensible? Yet it took place.

“And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings;”—you can imagine—“and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.” Verse 6. One thing leads to another. If you break one of the commandments, you have broken them all. “He who willfully breaks one commandment, does not, in spirit and truth, keep any of them. ‘Whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.’ James 2:10.” Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing, 51.

“And the Lord said unto Moses, Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted [themselves]: They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These [be] thy gods, O Israel, which have brought thee up out of the land of Egypt. And the Lord said unto Moses, I have seen this people, and, behold, it [is] a stiffnecked people: Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation. And Moses besought the Lord his God, and said, Lord, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power, and with a mighty hand? Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, thy servants, to whom thou swarest by thine own self, and saidst unto them, I will multiply your seed as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have spoken of will I give unto your seed, and they shall inherit [it] for ever. And the Lord repented of the evil which he thought to do unto his people. And Moses turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony [were] in his hand: the tables [were] written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other [were] they written. And the tables [were] the work of God, and the writing [was] the writing of God, graven upon the tables. And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they shouted, he said unto Moses, [There is] a noise of war in the camp.” Exodus 32:7–17.

Do you know what was taking place? They were shouting and singing and dancing. Verse 18 continues, “And he said, [It is] not the voice of [them that] shout for mastery, neither [is it] the voice of [them that] cry for being overcome: [but] the noise of [them that] sing do I hear.”

Then it goes on to tell how they not only became involved in the breaking of the second commandment but also got involved in singing and drinking and dancing, finally stripping off their clothes! “Moses saw that the people [were] naked; (for Aaron had made them naked unto [their] shame among their enemies.)” Verse 25.

The second commandment is very deep. It is so deep that we will deal with more aspects of it in another article. God has a message for His people, as far as the second commandment is concerned. It was not just for the Old Testament Jews, because we can see that many of the issues to which the second commandment speaks are very relevant to us today. It is only as we come up to the standard to which God calls us that we will find His acceptance.

To be continued . . .

Restoring the Temple – Diet in Childhood

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Habits once formed are hard to overcome. The reform should begin with the mother before the birth of her children; and if God’s instructions were faithfully obeyed, intemperance would not exist.” Counsels on Diet and Foods, 225, 226.

“Let mothers place themselves without delay in right relations to their Creator, that they may by His assisting grace build around their children a bulwark against dissipation and intemperance. . . .

The Infant

“The best food for the infant is the food that nature provides. Of this it should not be needlessly deprived. It is a heartless thing for a mother, for the sake of convenience or social enjoyment, to seek to free herself from the tender office of nursing her little one.” Ibid., 226.

“The character also of the child is more or less affected by the nature of the nourishment received from the mother. How important then that the mother, while nursing her infant, should preserve a happy state of mind, having the perfect control of her own spirit. By thus doing, the food of the child is not injured, and the calm, self-possessed course the mother pursues in the treatment of her child has very much to do in molding the mind of the infant.” Ibid., 228.

Regularity in Eating

“The first education children should receive from the mother in infancy should be in regard to their physical health. They should be allowed only plain food, of that quality that would preserve to them the best condition of health, and that should be partaken of only at regular periods, not oftener than three times a day, and two meals would be better than three. If children are disciplined aright, they will soon learn that they can receive nothing by crying or fretting. A judicious mother will act in training her children, not merely in regard to her own present comfort, but for their future good. And to this end she will teach her children the important lesson of controlling the appetite, and of self-denial, that they should eat, drink, and dress in reference to health.” Ibid., 228, 229.

Early Education of the Appetite

“The importance of training children to right dietetic habits can hardly be overestimated. The little ones need to learn that they eat to live, not live to eat. The training should begin with the infant in its mother’s arms. The child should be given food only at regular intervals, and less frequently as it grows older. It should not be given sweets, or the food of older persons, which it is unable to digest. Care and regularity in the feeding of infants will not only promote health, and thus tend to make them quiet and sweet-tempered, but will lay the foundation of habits and will be a blessing to them in after years.” Ibid., 229, 230.

“Parents should train the appetites of their children, and should not permit the use of unwholesome foods. But in the effort to regulate the diet, we should be careful not to err in requiring children to eat that which is distasteful, or to eat more than is needed. Children have rights, they have preferences, and when these preferences are reasonable, they should be respected.” Ibid., 230.

Abhorrence for Stimulants

“Teach your children to abhor stimulants. . . .

“The food is often such as to excite a desire for stimulating drinks. Luxurious dishes are placed before the children,—spiced foods, rich gravies, cakes, and pastries. This highly seasoned food irritates the stomach, and causes a craving for still stronger stimulants. Not only is the appetite tempted with unsuitable food, of which the children are allowed to eat freely at their meals, but they are permitted to eat between meals, and by the time they are twelve or fourteen years of age they are often confirmed dyspeptics. . . .

Especially Injurious Foods

“It is impossible for those who give the reins to appetite to attain to Christian perfection. The moral sensibilities of your children cannot be easily aroused, unless you are careful in the selection of their food. Many a mother sets a table that is a snare to her family. Flesh meats, butter, cheese, rich pastry, spiced foods, and condiments are freely partaken of by both old and young. These things do their work in deranging the stomach, exciting the nerves, and enfeebling the intellect. The blood-making organs cannot convert such things into good blood. The grease cooked in the food renders it difficult of digestion. The effect of cheese is deleterious. Fine-flour bread does not impart to the system the nourishment that is to be found in unbolted-wheat bread. Its common use will not keep the system in the best condition. Spices at first irritate the tender coating of the stomach, but finally destroy the natural sensitiveness of this delicate membrane. The blood becomes fevered, the animal propensities are aroused, while the moral and intellectual powers are weakened, and become servants to the baser passions. The mother should study to set a simple yet nutritious diet before her family.” Ibid., 235, 236.

Counteracting Evil Tendencies

“If children and youth were trained and educated to habits of self-denial and self-control, if they were taught that they eat to live instead of living to eat, there would be less disease and less moral corruption. There would be little necessity for temperance crusades, which amount to so little, if in the youth who form and fashion society, right principles in regard to temperance could be implanted. They would then have moral worth and moral integrity to resist, in the strength of Jesus, the pollutions of these last days.” Ibid., 237.

Irritability and Nervousness

“Regularity should be the rule in all the habits of children. Mothers make a great mistake in permitting them to eat between meals. The stomach becomes deranged by this practice, and the foundation is laid for future suffering. Their fretfulness may have been caused by unwholesome food, still undigested; but the mother feels that she cannot spend time to reason upon the matter, and correct her injurious management. Neither can she stop to soothe their impatient worrying. She gives the little sufferers a piece of cake or some other dainty to quiet them, but this only increases the evil.” Ibid., 242.

Diet and Moral Development

“The power of Satan over the youth of this age is fearful. Unless the minds of our children are firmly balanced by religious principle, their morals will become corrupted by the vicious examples with which they come in contact. The greatest danger of the young is from a lack of self-control. Indulgent parents do not teach their children self-denial. The very food they place before them is such as to irritate the stomach. The excitement thus produced is communicated to the brain, and as a result the passions are aroused. It cannot be too often repeated, that whatever is taken into the stomach affects not only the body, but ultimately the mind as well. Gross and stimulating food fevers the blood, excites the nervous system, and too often dulls the moral perceptions, so that reason and conscience are overborne by the sensual impulses. It is difficult, and often well-nigh impossible, for one who is intemperate in diet to exercise patience and self-control. Hence the special importance of allowing children, whose characters are yet unformed, to have only such food as is healthful and unstimulating. It was in love that our heavenly Father sent the light of health reform to guard against the evils that result from unrestrained indulgence of appetite.” Ibid., 243.

Peter’s Counsel to Parents, Part VII: A Godly Example in the Home

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The Lord has recently impressed upon me again the need of reminding Seventh-day Adventist parents of the important work to be done in the home. To all parents who profess to believe in the soon return of Christ, there is given a solemn work of preparation, that they and their children may be ready to meet the Lord at his coming. God desires to see parents take their position whole-heartedly for him, that there may be no perverting of the work he has given them to do, and that our children and youth may understand clearly the will of God concerning them. They are to learn to resist evil and choose righteousness, to turn from sin and become the faithful servants of God, prepared to give him their life’s highest service.

Influence of Godly Example

There are few parents who realize how important it is to give to their children the influence of a godly example. Yet this is far more potent than precept. No other means is so effective in training them in right lines. The children and youth must have a true copy in right-doing if they succeed in overcoming sin and perfecting a Christian character. This copy they should find in the lives of their parents. If they enter the city of God, and rejoice in the overcomer’s reward, some one must show them the way. By living before their children godly, consistent lives, parents may make the work before them clear and plain.

It is God’s desire that parents should be to their children the embodiment of the principles laid down in his Word. Let them make it their aim to train their children for God. To keep the feet of their children in the narrow path will call for faithful effort and constant prayer, but it is possible to train the children and youth to love and serve God. It is possible to inculcate the principles of righteousness, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, and there a little, until the desires and inclinations of the heart are in harmony with the mind and will of God. When fathers and mothers realize the responsibility resting upon them, and respond to the appeals of God’s Spirit in behalf of this neglected work, there will be seen in the homes of the people transformations that will cause the angels to rejoice.

Parents Study 11 Peter 1

Let parents study the first chapter of the second epistle of Peter. Here is represented the exalted excellence of Bible truth. It teaches that the Christian’s experience is to be one of steady growth, of constant gain in graces and virtues that will give strength to the character and fit the soul for eternal life.

“Grace and peace be multiplied unto you,” the apostle writes, “through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, according as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and can not see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall: for so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.” [11 Peter 1:2–11.]

It is the privilege of parents and children to grow together in the grace of Christ. Those who comply with the conditions laid down in the Word will find full provision for their spiritual needs, and for power to overcome. Feeling the need of that grace which Heaven alone can furnish, and which Christ imparts to all who seek, they will become partakers of the heavenly gift.

Those who have accepted Bible truth are to keep the truth circumspectly. They are to follow on to know the Lord, gathering into their souls the light of heaven. But they must not stop there. They are to communicate the light and knowledge received. The Lord expects parents to make earnest, united efforts in the training of their children for him. In the home they are to cultivate the graces of the Spirit, in all their ways acknowledging him who through the sanctification of the Spirit has promised to make us perfect in every good work. When parents awaken to a true understanding of their neglected duties, they will marvel at the spiritual blindness that has characterized their past experience. And when they become learners of Christ, they will be taught how to do their work acceptably.

There has been too little definite work done in preparing our children for the tests that all must meet in their contact with the world and its influences. They have not been helped as they should to form characters strong enough to resist temptation and stand firm for the principles of right, in the terrible issues before all who remain faithful to the commandments of God and the testimony of Jesus Christ.

Understand Temptations of Youth

Parents need to understand the temptations that the youth must daily meet, that they may teach them how to overcome them. There are influences in the school and in the world that parents need to guard against. God wants us to turn our eyes from the vanities and pleasures and ambitions of the world, and set them on the glorious and immortal reward of those who run with patience the race set before them in the gospel. He wants us to educate our children to avoid the influences that would draw them away from Christ. The Lord is soon coming, and we must prepare for this solemn event. My brethren and sisters, let your daily life in the home reveal the living principles of the Word of God. Heavenly agencies will cooperate with you as you seek to reach the standard of perfection, and as you seek to teach your children how to conform their lives to the principles of righteousness. Christ and heavenly agencies are waiting to quicken your spiritual sensibilities, to renew your activities, and to teach you of the deep things of God.

The Parents’ Role

Parents should be united in their faith, that they may be united in their efforts to bring their children up in the belief of the truth. Upon the mother in a special sense rests the work of molding the minds of the young children. But the father should feel more deeply than he usually does his responsibilities in the home. Upon him as well as upon the mother rests the duty of laboring for the spiritual welfare of his children. Business matters often keep the father much from home, and prevent him from taking an equal share in the training of the children; but whenever he can, he should unite with the mother in this work. Let parents work unitedly, instilling into their children’s hearts the principles of righteousness.

The vows of David recorded in Psalm 101 should be the vows of all upon whom rest the responsibilities of guarding the influences of the home. David declared: “I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. . . . I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave unto me. A froward heart shall depart from me: I will not know a wicked person.

“Whoso privily slandereth his neighbor, him will I cut off: him that hath a high look and a proud heart will not I suffer. Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me: he that walketh in a perfect way, he shall serve me. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight.” [Psalm 101:2–7.]

Most Important Work

Home missionary work is a most important work. It should be our first work to give that light to those related to us by the ties of kinship and blood. There should be no neglect on our part to do our utmost to bring them to an understanding of the knowledge we have received. “If any man provide not for his own,” the apostle Paul declared, “and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” [1 Timothy 5:8.]

Shall the people who have a solemn message to bear for the enlightenment and salvation of the world, make little or no effort for the members of their own family who are unconverted to the truth? Will parents allow their minds to be engrossed with trifling matters, to the neglect of the all-important question, “Is my family prepared to meet the Lord?” Will they assent to the great truths that are present truth for these last days, and be interested to see this message going to other peoples and lands, while they allow their children, their most precious possession, to go on unwarned of their danger and unprepared for the future? Shall those who, from the Word of God and through the witness of his Spirit, have had clear light concerning their duty allow the years to pass without making definite efforts to save their children?

Christ is waiting for the cooperation of human agencies, that he may impress the hearts of our children and youth. With intense desire heavenly beings long to see parents making that preparation which is essential if they and their children [are to] stand loyal to God in the coming conflict, and enter in through the gates to the city of God. Let parents arouse from their indifference, and redeem the time. Let them seek to correct the mistakes they have made in the past in the management of their children. Let those who have neglected their God-given work repent of their neglect, and in the fear of God take up their responsibilities. As they seek to magnify the law of God in the daily life, they will make that law honorable in the eyes of their children.

Review and Herald, October 12, 1911.

Ellen G. White (1827–1915) wrote more than 5,000 periodical articles and 40 books during her lifetime. Today, including compilations from her 50,000 pages of manuscript, more than 100 titles are available in English. She is the most translated woman writer in the entire history of literature, and the most translated American author of either gender. Seventh-day Adventists believe that Mrs. White was appointed by God as a special messenger to draw the world’s attention to the Holy Scriptures and help prepare people for Christ’s second advent.

Children’s Story — Can & Could

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“It’ll be moonlight tonight,” said a schoolboy; “won’t you join our skating party?”

“No,” replied Can; “you know there wasn’t a boy in my class that had his arithmetic lesson today, and the teacher gave it to us again. I can master it, and I will. That lesson must not beat me twice. I mean to make sure of it, so you’ll have to excuse me from joining your party.”

“Shall I not help you?” asked his elder sister.

“Let me try it first,” replied Can; “I feel like going at it with a will; for I’ve heard that ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way.’ ” He did not stop until every example was worked out.

“If I only could learn this horrid lesson!” exclaimed his classmate, Could, made a few random figures on his slate, and then began to draw dog’s heads.

“Is that the way you study your lesson? ” asked his mother reprovingly.

“If I only could get it,” replied the boy, fretfully, “I should be glad to work at it with all my might, but it’s too hard and dry for anybody.”

“Surely you could learn some of it, if you would only try,” said his mother, and as this could not be gainsaid, Could looked at his book again. But the next moment he jumped from his chair, and ran to the window.

“Oh, this splendid moonlight!” he exclaimed. “It’s really too bad to lose that skating. I think I’ll go.”

“But your lessons are not prepared,” said his mother.

“I know that.” Answered Could; “but when I come back, there will be time enough for them.”

Off he went, and the next day, in the class, he drawled: “I would have learned the lesson if I could.”

Can and Could both had to drive cows to pasture and to hoe in the garden. Can’s cows were regularly cropping grass on the hillside long before Could was out of bed. Can easily kept ahead of the weeds by hoeing before they got much start. Could waited until there was “some real need of hoeing, to keep the weeds down,” but the weeds had such a start then that they soon got ahead of him, and ahead of the crops, too, which were hardly worth gathering, although Can’s garden yielded bountifully.

“If I could have had such a garden as that,” said Could, “I should have been glad to hoe up every weed; but my garden was so poor that it didn’t make much difference whether I hoed or not.”

“If I could only be a great man, how much I would do to reform men!” exclaimed Could. Sometime I mean to do something on a large scale in this world.”

Can was never heard to express such noble sentiments; but he attended diligently to business, and, as he prospered, employed many men at fair wages, thus enabling them to support their families in comfort.

Can, by diligence and economy, became prosperous and happy; Could, by indolence and procrastination, became discontented and unhappy. Will you be Can or Could?

Taken from The Youth’s Instructor, April 27, 1899

 

Duty of Parents to their Children

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One of the signs of the “last days” is the disobedience of children to their parents. 2 Timothy 3:2. And do parents realize their responsibility? Many seem to lose sight of the watch-care they should ever have over their children, and suffer them to indulge in evil passions, and to disobey them. They take but little notice of them until their own feelings are raised, and then punish them in anger.

Many parents will have to render an awful account at last for their neglect of their children. They have fostered and cherished their evil tempers by bending to their wishes and will, when the wishes and will of the children should bend to them. They have brought God’s frown upon them and their children by these things. Parents, have you forgotten that which is written in the Holy Word: “He that spareth the rod hateth his son.” Children are left to come up instead of being trained up. The poor little children are thought not to know or understand a correction at ten or twelve months old, and they begin to show stubbornness very young. Parents suffer them to indulge in evil tempers and passions without subduing or correcting them, and by so doing they cherish and nourish these evil passions until they grow with their growth and strengthen with their strength.

The house of God is often desecrated, and the Sabbath violated by Sabbath-believers’ children. In some cases they are even allowed to run about the house, play, talk and manifest their evil tempers in the very meetings where the saints should worship God in the beauty of holiness. And the place that should be holy, and where a holy stillness should reign, and where there should be perfect order, neatness and humility, is made to be a perfect Babylon, “confusion.” This is enough to bring God’s displeasure and shut His presence from our assemblies. His wrath is kindled for these things, and He will not while these things exist, go out with Israel to battle against their enemies. The enemies of our faith will be suffered to triumph on account of God’s displeasure.

Parents stand in the place of God to their children and they will have to render an account, whether they have been faithful to the little few committed to their trust. Parents, some of you are rearing children to be cut down by the destroying angel, unless you speedily change your course, and be faithful to them. God cannot cover iniquity, even in children. He cannot love unruly children who manifest passion, and He cannot save them in the time of trouble. Will you suffer your children to be lost through your neglect? Unfaithful parents, their blood will be upon you, and is not your salvation doubtful with the blood of your children upon you? Children that might have been saved had you filled your place, and done your duty as faithful parents should.

God says: “I know Abraham, that he will command his household after him,” and God gave him the honor of being the father of the faithful. Parents, it is your duty to have your children in perfect subjection, having all their passions and evil tempers subdued. And if children are taken to meeting, they should be made to know, and understand where they are. That they are not at home, but where God meets with His people. And they should be kept quiet and free from all play, and God will turn His face toward you, to meet with you and bless you.

If order is observed in the assemblies of the saints, the truth will have better effect upon all that hear it. A solemnity which is so much needed will be encouraged and there will be power in the truth to stir up the depths of the soul and a death-like stupor will not hang upon those who hear. Believers and unbelievers will be affected. It has seemed evident that in some places the Ark of God was removed from the church, for the holy commandments have been violated and the strength of Israel has been weakened. Parents, correct your children. Commence while they are young, when impressions can be more easily made, and their evil tempers subdued before they grow with their growth and strengthen with their strength.

You should correct your children in love. Do not let them have their own way until you get angry, and then punish them. Such correction only helps on the evil, instead of remedying it. After you have done your duty faithfully to your children, then carry them to God and ask Him to help you. Tell Him that you have done your part, and then in faith ask God to do His part, that which you cannot do. Ask Him to temper their dispositions, to make them mild and gentle by His Holy Spirit. He will hear you pray. He will love to answer your prayers. Through His Word He has enjoined it upon you to correct your children, to “spare not for their crying,” and His Word is to be heeded in these things.

It certainly must bring God’s displeasure upon parents when they leave Him to do what He has left, and commanded them to do. God corrects us when we disobey, and go astray from Him; and parents are bound by the word of God to correct their children when they disobey them, and show evil temper. Check the very first manifestation of passion. Break the will, (but do it with feelings of tenderness, and with discretion,) and your children will be far happier for it, and you will be happier. Your effort will be remembered of God, and He that is so particular as to observe the falling of the sparrow, He that noticed and commended Abraham’s faithfulness, will not pass by your efforts. He that never slumbers nor sleeps will be ready to aid you with His Spirit and grace, and will reward your feeble efforts.

Parents, above every thing, take care of your children upon the Sabbath. Do not suffer them to violate God’s holy day by playing in the house or out of doors. You may just as well break the Sabbath yourselves as to let your children do it, and when you suffer your children to wander about, and suffer them to play upon the Sabbath, God looks upon you as Sabbath-breakers. Your children, that are under your control, should be made to mind you. Your word should be their law. Will not parents wake up to their duty before it shall be too late, and take hold of the work in earnest, redeem the time, and make unsparing efforts to save their children?

Children are the lawful prey of the enemy, because they are not subjects of grace, have not experienced the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus, and the evil angels have access to these children; and some parents are careless and suffer them to work with but little restraint. Parents have a great work to do in this matter, by correcting and subduing their children, and then by bringing them to God and claiming His blessing upon them. By the faithful and untiring efforts of the parents, and the blessing and grace entreated of God upon the children, the power of the evil angels will be broken, a sanctifying influence is shed upon the children, and the powers of darkness must give back. When the destroying angel was to pass through Egypt, to destroy the first-born of man and beast, Israel was commanded to gather their children and families into their houses with them, and then mark their door-posts with blood, that the destroying angel might pass by their dwellings, and if they failed to go through with this process, there was no difference made between them and the Egyptians.

The destroying angel is soon to go forth again, not to destroy the first-born alone, but “to slay utterly old and young, both men, women and little children” who have not the mark. Parents, if you wish to save your children, separate them from the world, keep them from the company of wicked children; for if you suffer them to go with wicked children, you cannot prevent them from partaking of their wickedness and being corrupted. It is your solemn duty to watch over your children, to choose the society at all times for them. Teach your children to obey you, then can they more easily obey the commandments of God, and yield to His requirements. Do not let us neglect to pray with, and for our children. He that said, “Suffer little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not,” will listen to our prayers for them, and the seal, or mark of believing parents will cover their children, if they are trained up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

  1. G. White

Review and Herald, September 19, 1854.