customs

Customs of Bible Times – Wedding Feast

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Banquet Invitations

In some parts of the East a custom of double invitations to an entertainment has been observed. Some time before the feast is to be served, an invitation is sent forth; and then, when the appointed time draws near, a servant is sent again, this time to announce that everything is ready. There are several examples of this custom in the Bible. Ahasuerus and Haman were invited by Esther to a feast, and then, when it was ready, the king’s chamberlains went to get Haman (Esther 5:8; 6:14). Another example is in the parable of the wedding of the king’s son. “The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son, And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding” (Matthew 22:2, 3). Again, the parable of the great supper has this double invitation in it: “A certain man made a great supper, and bade many: And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready” (Luke 14:16, 17).

“Compelling” Guests to Attend

The following words of Christ’s parable need to be understood from an Oriental point of view: “And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled” (Luke 14:23). The usual brief invitation in America and the ready acceptance of it would be considered in the East entirely undignified. In the East the one invited must not at first accept but is expected rather to reject the invitation. He must be urged to accept. Although all the time he expects to accept, he must allow the one inviting him the privilege of “compelling him” to accept. It was thus that Lydia must have extended, and Paul and his companions must have finally accepted, hospitality. “If ye have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house, and abide there. And she constrained us” (Acts 16:15). When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to a meal, the Saviour did not at first accept the invitation, although He did go finally: “Now one of the Pharisees insisted that he take a meal with him” (Luke 7:36; A.T. Robertson, A Translation of Luke’s Gospel, George H. Doran Company, New York, 1923). All of this was in keeping with Oriental customs.

Posture While Eating at Feasts

The prophet Amos is the first sacred writer to refer to the custom of “stretching themselves upon their couches” when eating (Amos 6:4). By the time of Jesus, the Roman custom of reclining on couches at supper had been adopted in some Jewish circles. The Roman table and couches combined was called a triclinium. There were three couches which were located on the three sides of a square, the fourth side being left open, so that a servant could get on the inside to assist in serving the meal. The guest’s position was to recline with the body’s upper part resting on the left arm, the head raised, a cushion at the back, and the lower part of the body stretched out. The head of the second guest was opposite the breast of the first guest, so that if he wanted to speak to him in secret he would lean upon his chest.

This custom at a banquet table throws light on several passages from the four gospels. The apostle John asked Jesus a question while in this position at supper (John 13:23–25). In the story of the rich man and Lazarus, when Jesus said that “the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom” (Luke 16:22), He doubtless meant to imply that he was reclining at a heavenly table next to Abraham where he could lean upon his breast. This is clear in the light of Christ’s description of that heavenly feast: “Many shall come from the east and the west; and shall recline with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 8:11, A.R.V. margin). Also, this position of reclining at table explains how the woman could come during a dinner and take her position behind at the feet of Jesus and wash them (Luke 7:38).

Why Exclusion from a Feast was Considered to be so Terrible

Ancient banquets were usually held at night in rooms, which were brilliantly lighted, and anybody who was excluded from the feast was said to be cast out of the lighted room into “the outer darkness” of the night. In the teachings of Jesus, such exclusion is likened unto the Day of Judgment. “The children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness” (Matthew 8:12). “Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness” (Matthew 22:13). “And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 25:30). This expression “outer darkness” takes on a new meaning, when it is realized what a dread the middle-Easterner has for the darkness of the night. In the East a lamp is usually kept burning all night. To sleep in the dark as the Westerner usually does would be a terrible experience to the Easterner. Because of this fear of the darkness, the Saviour could have chosen no more appropriate words than “outer darkness” to represent the future punishment of the unrighteous.

Places of Honor at the Table

When the Pharisees were invited to a banquet, they were very covetous of having the highest places of distinction at the table. Jesus condemned them for this proud spirit. He said concerning them: “They … love the chief place at feasts” (Matthew 23:6, ARV). When Jesus was guest at a meal in a Pharisee’s house, He told a parable, when He noticed how they sought the chief places at the table. Here is the parable as given by A. T. Robertson (Luke 14:8–10).

“When you are invited by anyone to a wedding feast, do not recline in the post of honor, lest one more honored than you be invited by him, and lest the man who invited you both come and say to you, ‘Make room for this man;’ and then you will begin with shame to take and keep the last place. But, when you are invited, go and recline in the last place, so that, when the man who has invited you comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, come up much higher.’ Then you will have honor in the presence of all your fellow guests.”

In many native homes, one room has a higher floor, and in this room the guests of honor are assigned places, and those of less honor on the lower floor or level. A place of special honor would be on the right of the host, and the next highest place on his left. James and John asked for such positions in Christ’s kingdom (Mark 10:35–37). But Jesus advised guests to take the last place. Where was this place located? It was on the lower level and nearest the door. The guest who would take this humble place might be invited by the master of the house to take a place on a higher plane and farther from the door.

Excerpts from Manners and Customs of Bible Lands, 61–65, by Fred H. Wight (The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, 1953).

Customs of Bible Times – The Sacred Duty of Hospitality

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Bowing

When a guest is received into an Eastern home, bowing between the guests and host is quite apt to take place. In Western lands such bowing would be of the head only, but in the East there is a more expressive custom of saluting with the head erect and the body a little inclined forward, by raising the hand to the heart, mouth, and forehead. The symbolic meaning of this action is to say something like this: “My heart, my voice, my brain are all at your service.” James Neil, Pictured Palestine, London: J. Nisbet, 1904, pp. 64, 65.

But those who are used to this custom on many occasions enter into a more complete bow. They do not wait to do this only for royalty, but when they want to express thanks for a favor, or supplicate for a favor, and at many other times of meeting they often fall on their knees, and then incline the body touching the ground with their head, and kissing the lower part of the other person’s clothing, or his feet, or even the dust at his feet. To those not acquainted with such manners, it would seem that one person was worshiping the other like he would worship God; but ordinarily, worship of this sort is not involved in the action. Ibid., pp, 65–67.

Cornelius is said to have worshiped Peter: “And as Peter was coming in, Cornelius met him and fell down at his feet, and worshiped him” (Acts 10:25). Of course, Peter rejected this lest it might involve divine worship. …

Greeting

Upon entering an Arab house or a Bedouin tent, the greetings used are something like this: The host will say:

“Salam alakum,” which means, “Peace be on you.” The guest will respond with the words: “Wa alakum es-salam,” meaning, “And on you peace.” John D. Whiting, “Bedouin Life in Bible Lands,” The National Geographic Magazine, January 1937, 72.

Knowing that these Arabic customs date back for centuries, how significant then are the instructions of Jesus to His disciples, who were to be entertained in certain homes: “And into whatsoever house ye enter, first say, Peace be to this house, and if the son of peace be there, your peace shall rest upon it: if not, it shall turn to you again” (Luke 10:5, 6).

Kissing

Guests in Holy Land homes expect to be kissed as they enter. When entertained by a Pharisee, Jesus commented on His reception by saying to the host, “Thou gavest me no kiss” (Luke 7:45). …

Here men shake hands when they meet and greet, but in Palestine, instead of doing this, they place their right hand on their friend’s left shoulder and kiss his right cheek, and then reversing the action, place their left hand on his right shoulder, and kiss his left cheek. In this country [the United States] men never kiss each other’s faces; there it may be constantly seen. But how the practice lights up the numerous allusions in Scripture which are naturally lost to a Westerner! Once grasp the fact that their kiss answers to our hearty handshake between friends and social equals, and how much—how very much—becomes plain that was before obscured . … Neil, op. cit., 68.

Guest Given a Drink of Water

One of the first things done for a guest who has been received is to offer him a drink of water. The doing of this is recognizing him as being worthy of peaceful reception. … When Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, sought a welcome, he did so by requesting of the maiden who came to the well to draw water (Genesis 24:17, 18), “Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.” And when she made answer, “Drink, my lord,” it was an indication that he was welcome to be a guest at the nearby home. With this significance attached to a drink of water, the promise of Jesus takes on new meaning (Mark 9:41), “Whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.” H. Clay Trumball, Studies in Oriental Social Life, 106, 108, 112.

The Guest Made Lord of the House

An Eastern proverb runs thus: “The guest while in the house is its lord.” This is a true statement of the spirit of the hospitality of the East. One of the first greetings a Palestinian host will give his guest is to say, “Hadtha Beitak;” that is, “This is your house.” This saying is repeated many times. Thus, actually, the guest during his stay is master of the house. And whenever the guest asks a favor, in granting it the host will say, “You do me honor.” … Milton N. Lindberg, A Guest in a Palestinian Home, a pamphlet, 6, 7.

The host was considered to be a servant, and the guest was lord. Thus Lot spoke of himself and his guests: “Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant’s house” (Genesis 19:2).

Privacy Not Expected by the Guest

An Eastern guest would think he was ill-treated if he were left alone at any time. He does not need privacy at night, because he sleeps with his clothes on. He is happy to have others sleep with“ him. If a sleeping place is assigned to him in an upper room, then some of the family sons sleep alongside of him that he might have their companionship. He would feel that he was being deserted if treated the way he would be if entertained in the West, just as a Westerner would feel oppressed by the constant attention of an Eastern host. George M. Mackie, Bible Manners and Customs, Cornell University Library, 1898, 93.

In the lands of the East, when a host accepts a man to be his guest he thereby agrees at whatever the cost to defend his guest from all possible enemies during the time of his entertainment.

Excerpts from Manners and Customs of Bible Land, by Fred H. Wight, Moody Press, Chicago, 1953, 69–79.

Customs of Bible Times – Daily Program of Activities

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Grinding of the Grain by the Women

The first sound to greet the ear in the early morning in many a Palestinian village will be the sound of the grinding of the grain. Today, as in the long ago, many of these people resort to the handmill for this purpose. A traveler passing by these humble homes will hear the hum of the handmill morning or evening and sometimes after dark. This sound of the grinding is not exactly musical, and yet many love to go to sleep under it. In the mind of those who live in the East, this sound is associated with home, and comfort and plenty. The women are the ones who engage in this task, and they begin it early in the morning, and it often requires half a day to complete. (Anis C. Haddad, Palestine Speaks, The Warner Press, 1937, p. 54, 55.)

When Jeremiah foretold judgment upon Israel for her sins, he said, concerning what God would take from her, “I will take from them the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, and the sound of the millstones, and the light of the candle” (Jeremiah 25:10). From this it can be seen that the sound of these handmills is an indication of life and activity, and the absence of them would be a sign of utter desolation.

The Bible references to the grinding mills are true to Eastern customs. The task is for servants if the family has them, and if not, the women do the job, but the men would consider it beneath them to engage in such a menial task. Part of the judgment upon Israel at the destruction of Jerusalem was that the enemy “took the young men to grind” (Lamentations 5:13).

And the Philistines punished Samson in this way, for it says of him, “and he did grind in the prison house” (Judges 16:21).

Although there are simple handmills made for the use of one person, more often two women operate one together. The mill is composed of two stones eighteen to twenty-four inches in diameter. The two women sit at these stones facing each other. The upper stone turns upon the lower one by means of an upright handle, which the women alternately pull and push. Here is how the process works:

The upper stone rotates about a wooden pivot fixed in the center of the lower. The opening in the upper stone for the pivot is funnel-shaped to receive the corn, which each woman throws in as required with her disengaged hand. The flour issuing from between the stones is usually caught on a sheepskin placed under the mill. Ibid., 56.

Job speaks of a heart being as “hard as a piece of the nether millstone” (Job 41:24). Thomson says that the lower millstone is not always harder than the upper, but he had seen the nether made of a very compact and thick sandstone, while the upper was of lava, no doubt because being lighter it would be easier to drive it around with the hand. (W.M. Thomson, The Land and the Book, Hyperion Books, December 1985, vol. 1, p. 108.)

Weaving Cloth and Making Clothes

The Jewish women were responsible for making the clothing for the family. The wool which was used came from their flocks. It had to be spun into yarn without the use of modern spinning wheels. … The ancient Egyptians and Babylonians, being experts in weaving, had large looms, but for the most part the common people of Palestine used a very primitive loom and the weaving process was of necessity a slow and tedious one. Of course, there were no sewing machines or steel needles. Their needles were coarse ones made of bronze or sometimes of splinters of bone that had been sharpened at one end, and with a hole through the other end. … (Harold B. Hunting, Hebrew Life and Times, Nabu Press, August 2, 2010, p. 17–19.)

When the scripture says, “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff” (Proverbs 31:19), it is the same way as saying, “She is never idle” or, as the Syrians would say, “Her spindle is never out of her hands.” (Abraham M. Rihbany, The Syrian Christ, Cornell University Library, July 8, 2009, p. 360, 361.)

Washing Clothes

The Arab women, in washing their clothes today, usually go to nearby sources of water such as streams, pools, or watering troughs. They will dip their clothes in and out of the water, and then, placing them upon flat stones which abound in Palestine, they will beat them with a club, which is about a foot and a half long. They carry the water in goatskins and have a vessel for rinsing purposes. (Information received during personal interview with Mr. G. Eric Matson, photographer, and long time resident of Palestine.)

That this sort of process was used in the time of David, is indicated by the prayer of his penitential psalm: “Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity” (Psalm 51:2). His picture here comes from the process of washing clothes.

“The word employed is significant, in that it probably means washing by kneading or beating, not by simple rinsing. The psalmist is ready to submit to any painful discipline, if only he may be cleansed. “Wash me, beat me, tread me down, hammer me with mallets, dash me against the stones, do anything with me, if only these foul stains are melted from the texture of my soul.” Alexander Maclaren [Hebrew and Greek scholar in the late 1800s], The Psalms (The Expositor’s Bible), vol. 11, (New York: George H. Doran Company, 1892, p. 130.)

Going of the Women for Water

Carrying a pitcher of water was all but universally done by women. It must have been a picturesque sight to see them going and coming with the pitcher poised gracefully upon the head or shoulder. When Jesus instructed two of his disciples, “Go ye into the city, and there shall meet you a man bearing a pitcher of water: follow him” (Mark 14:13), that would be an easy way of identifying the person, for it is exceedingly uncommon to see a man carrying a pitcher of water, which is a woman’s task.

When larger supplies of water are needed, men use large skins of sheep or goats for carrying the supply. The pitchers are reserved for the use of the women. (A. Goodrich-Freer, Things Seen in Palestine, General Books LLC, January 1, 2010, p. 72.)

Excerpts from Fred H. Wight, Manners and Customs of Bible Lands, The Moody Institute of Chicago, 1953, p. 81–90.

Customs of Bible Times – Parental Position in the Home

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Unlike within most homes today, in Bible times each member of the family held a certain position in the home, which came with specific duties.

Position of the Father

The Eastern idea of the family is a little kingdom within itself, over which the father is supreme ruler. Every company of travelers, every tribe, every community, every family, must have a father who is the head of the group. A man is said to be the father of what he invents. Jubal “was the father of all such as handle the harp and pipe.” Jabal was “the father of such as dwell in tents, and have cattle” (Genesis 4:20). Because he was a preserver and protector, Joseph said that God made him “a father to Pharoah” (Genesis 45:8). The Eastern mind cannot conceive of any band or group without somebody being the father of it.

Supremacy of the Father Under the Patriarchial System

Under the patriarchial administration, the father is supreme in command. This gives him authority over his wife, his children, his children’s children, his servants, and all of his household. If he is the sheik, it extends to all the tribe. Many of the Bedouins today are under no government except this patriarchial rule. When Abraham, Isaac and Jacob sojourned, living in tents while looking forward to the Promised Land, they were ruled by this same system. And when the law of Moses was given to Israel, the authority of the parent, and especially the father, was still recognized. One of the Ten Commandments is “honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12). In many ways the father was the supreme court of appeal in domestic matters.

Succession of Authority

In a majority of cases, the great authority, which the father had, was handed down to his eldest son, who took over the position of leadership upon the death of the father. Thus Isaac became the new sheik over his father’s household upon the death of Abraham. He and Rebekah had been living in that household under his father’s authority, but the succession of authority passed on to him as the son. Ishmael, being son of the handmaid, did not succeed to the place (Genesis 25). In some cases, the father bestowed the succession of authority on other than the eldest son, as when Isaac bestowed it upon Jacob instead of Esau (Genesis 27).

Reverence of the Children for the Father

Reverence of children for their parents, and especially the father, is well-nigh universal in the East down to modern times. Among the Arabs, it is very seldom that a son is heard of as being undutiful. It is quite customary for the child to greet the father in the morning by the kissing of his hand, and following this, to stand before him in an attitude of humility, ready to receive any order or waiting for permission to depart. Following this, the child is often taken upon the lap of the father.

The Mosaic Law demanded obedience to parents, and a rebellious and disobedient son could be punished by death (Deuteronomy 21:18–21). The apostle Paul reiterated the injunction that children must obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20).

Position of the Wife in Relation to the Husband

The wife held a subordinate position to that of her husband, at least in office, not in nature. The ancient Hebrew women did not have unrestrained freedom as the modern women of the Occident [Western world] have. In the East, social intercourse between the sexes is marked by a degree of reserve that is unknown elsewhere. Dr. Thomson says, “Oriental women are never regarded or treated as equals by the men.” They never eat with the men, but the husband and brothers are first served, and the wife, mother, and sisters wait and take what is left; in a walk the women never go arm in arm with the men, but follow at a respectful distance; the woman is, as a rule, kept closely confined, and watched with jealousy; when she goes out she is closely veiled from head to foot. (W. M. Thomson, in early edition of The Land and the Book, quoted and paraphrased by E. P. Barrows in Sacred Geography and Antiquities, American Tract Society, 438.)

This attitude toward women can be illustrated from the Bible. Notice how Jacob’s wives, when traveling, were given places by themselves and not with him (Genesis 32). And nothing is said about the prodigal’s mother being present at the feast, which the father served his son (Luke 15:11–32). All this is in keeping with Eastern custom.

But while these things are true, it must be understood that the Old Testament does not picture the wife as a mere slave of her husband. She is seen to exert tremendous influence for good or ill over her husband, and he showed great respect for her in most cases. Sarah was treated by Abraham as a queen, and in matters of the household, she ruled in many ways. Abraham said to her, concerning Hagar, who had given birth to Ishmael, “Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee” (Genesis 16:6). The tribute to a Hebrew wife and mother in the book of Proverbs indicates that she was a person of great influence with her husband: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” (Proverbs 31:11). “She openeth her mouth with wisdom” (verse 26). “Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also; and he praiseth her” (verse 28).

Position of the Mother in Relation to the Children

Children in the East show nearly the same respect toward the mothers as they do toward the fathers. The mother is believed to be entitled to honor and to have authority from God. Actually, the father and mother are looked at as being the representatives of God in the matter of authority. They are considered as having this position no matter how poorly they fulfill their obligations. Hebrew children in general held their mothers in great respect, even when they became adults. This may be illustrated by the great influence exerted by queen mothers on the kings of Judah and Israel (I Kings 2:19; II Kings 11:1; 24:12.).

Excerpts from Manners and Customs of Bible Lands, Fred H. Wight, The Moody Institute of Chicago, 1953, 103–106.

Although customs have changed over time and even today are different in the West from those in the East, the significance that the Bible places on parental authority remains unchanged. Honor is still required of children for their mothers and their fathers in keeping with the counsel provided in inspired writings.

Customs of Bible Times – Conducting Negotiations to Secure a Wife

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The customs of the Arabs in certain areas of Bible lands when they negotiate to secure a bride for their son, illustrate in many respects Biblical practices. If a young man has acquired sufficient means to make it possible for him to provide a marriage dowry, then his parents select the girl and the negotiations begin. The father calls in a man who acts as a deputy for him and the son. This deputy is called “the friend of the bridegroom” by John the Baptist (John 3:29). This man is fully informed as to the dowry the young man is willing to pay for his bride. Then, together with the young man’s father, or some other male relative, or both, he goes to the home of the young woman. The father announces that the deputy will speak for the party, and then the bride’s father will appoint a deputy to represent him. Before the negotiations begin, a drink of coffee is offered the visiting group, but they refuse to drink until the mission is completed. Thus Abraham’s servant, when offered food by the parents of Rebekah, said, “I will not eat, until I have told mine errand” (Genesis 24:33). When the two deputies face each other, then the negotiations begin in earnest. There must be consent for the hand of the young woman and agreement on the amount of dowry to be paid for her. When these are agreed upon, the deputies rise and their congratulations are exchanged, and then coffee is brought in, and they all drink of it as a seal of the covenant thus entered into.

Reasons for the Marriage Dowry

Bride’s family – In the Orient, when the bride’s parents give their daughter in marriage, they are actually diminishing the efficiency of their family. Often unmarried daughters would tend the flock of their father (Exodus 2:16), or they would work in the field, or render help in other ways. Thus upon her marriage, a young woman would be thought of as increasing the efficiency of her husband’s family and diminishing that of her parents. Therefore, a young man who expects to get possession of their daughter must be able to offer some sort of adequate compensation. This compensation was the marriage dowry.

It was not always required that the dowry be paid in cash; it could be paid in service. Because Jacob could not pay cash, he said, “I will serve thee seven years for Rachel” (Genesis 29:18). King Saul required the lives of one hundred of the enemy Philistines as dowry for David to secure Michal as his wife (I Samuel 18:25).

The bride – It was usually customary for at least some of the price of the dowry to be given to the bride. This would be in addition to any personal gift from the bride’s parents. Leah and Rachel complained about the stinginess of their father Laban. Concerning him they said, “He hath sold us, and hath also quite devoured the price paid for us” (Genesis 31:15, ARV margin). Laban had had the benefit of Jacob’s fourteen years of service, without making the equivalent of at least part of it as a gift to Leah and Rachel.

Since a divorced wife in the Orient is entitled to all her wearing apparel, for this reason much of her personal dowry consists of coins on her headgear or jewelry on her person. This becomes wealth to her in case her marriage ends in failure. This is why the dowry is so important to the bride and such emphasis is placed upon it in the negotiations that precede marriage. The woman who had ten pieces of silver and lost one was greatly concerned over the loss, because it was doubtless a part of her marriage dowry (Luke 15:8, 9).

Special dowry from the bride’s father

It was customary for fathers who could afford to do so to give their daughters a special marriage dowry. When Rebekah left her father’s house to be the bride of Isaac, her father gave her a nurse and also damsels who were to be her attendants (Genesis 24:59, 61). And Caleb gave to his daughter a dowry of a field with springs of water (Judges 1:15). Such was sometimes the custom in olden times.

Fred H. Wight, Manners and Customs of Bible Lands, Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois, 1953, 127, 128.

Customs of Bible Times – Betrothal and Wedding

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Ancient Marriage

Difference Between a Promise and a Betrothal

Among the Jews of Bible times a couple could be engaged with a promise of marriage that may not be definite, as these could be broken off or set aside. However, if there was a betrothal entered into, it was consid­ered as final.

The betrothal was not the same as the wedding, and these two events must not be confused. At least a whole year elapsed between the betrothal and the actual wedding. The law said, “What man is there that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not taken her?” Deuteronomy 20:7. Here the two events are differentiated: betrothing a wife and taking a wife, i.e., in actual marriage. It was during this period of about a year, between the betrothal and the wedding, that Mary was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 7:18).

The Apparel of the Groom and Bride

When the night arrived for the wedding festivities to begin, and it was time to go for his bride, the groom was dressed as much as pos­sible like a king. If he were rich enough to afford it, he wore a gold crown. Otherwise it would be a garland of fresh flowers. His garments would be scented with frankincense and myrrh; his girdle would be of silk and brilliantly colored; his sandals would be figured and carefully laced. … This preparation of the groom for the wedding has been aptly described in the prophecy of Isaiah, “He hath clothed me with the garments of sal­vation, He hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments.” Isaiah 61:10.

The adorning of the bride was a very costly and elaborate affair. Much time was given to the preparation of her person. Every effort was put forth to make her complexion glossy and shining with a luster like unto marble. The words of David must have been their ideal for her: “that our daugh­ters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.” Psalm 33 144:12. Her dark locks of hair were often braided with gold and pearls. She was decked with all the precious stones and jewels that the family had inherited from previous generations. Those who were too poor to afford much would borrow what they could from their friends.

The wedding festivities, and especial­ly the bride’s adornment, would always be remembered by her. The prophet Jer­emiah made reference to this thought, “Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire?” Jeremiah 2:32. The apostle John saw the New Jerusalem “prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” Revelation 21:2.

The Groom Leaves His Father’s Home to Get His Bride

Sometimes the bride’s relations would conduct her from her father’s house to the house of her fiancé, where her new home was to be. But more often, as was the case of the ten virgins in Christ’s parable, the bridegroom himself went in person to bring her to his home for the wedding festivities to take place there. Before leaving the house that had been her home, she would receive the blessing of her relatives. Thus Rebekah’s relatives sent her away with a typical Eastern marriage blessing, “Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.” Genesis 24:60. The bride left her father’s house adorned and perfumed with a crown on her head. Ezekiel’s description of the bride is very appropriate, “I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head.” Ezekiel 16:11, 12.

The Wedding Procession

The bridegroom set out with his bride from the house of her parents, and there followed a grand procession all the way to his house. The streets of Asiatic cities were dark, and it was necessary that anybody venturing forth at night should carry a lamp or torch. Those invited guests, who did not go to the bride’s home, were allowed to join the procession along the way, and go with the whole group to the marriage feast. Without a torch or lamp, they could not join the procession or enter the bridegroom’s house.

The ten virgins waited for the procession to arrive. The five wise virgins were able to proceed because they had a reserve supply of oil for their lamps, but the foolish virgins lacked oil, so not being ready, they were barred from the wedding feast. Matthew 25:1–13.

With her face veiled, the bride allowed her hair to be loose and flowing while on the journey to the groom’s house. Her own relations preceded her in the procession, scattering ears of parched grain to the children along the way.

Arrival at the House of the Bridegroom

After arriving at the bridegroom’s house, some of the older women had the task of arranging the bride’s hair. Her flowing locks were hidden beneath a thick veil. From this time on, the custom would dictate that her face was not to be unveiled in public. She was led to her place under a canopy, which was located either inside the house or, if the weather permitted, in the open air. Her place was beside her husband, where both would hear new words of benediction given by one of the fathers or by some important person who might be present.

The Wedding Feast

Every guest that attended the feast was required to wear a wedding garment (Matthew 22:12). The wedding banquet was presided over by the ruler of the feast. John 2:8, 9. It was his duty to take care of all the preparations, and during the feast, he would mingle among the guests and see to it that they lacked nothing, instructing servants to carry out all the necessary details. The expression “children of the bride chamber” (Matthew 9:15), used by Jesus, simply means the guests at the wedding. The governor or ruler of the feast returned thanks at the dinner and pronounced benedictions at appointed times. He also blessed the wine. It was customary to tell riddles at these feasts like Samson did at his wedding (Judges 14:12–18). During the meal, mirthfulness prevailed and the guests were expected to exalt the bride.

There was no religious ceremony at the feast. In place of this were the benedictions of relatives and friends. The benediction of those who witnessed the wedding arrangements for Ruth and Boaz is a good example of what would be included in such a benediction (Ruth 4:11). It corresponds to the well wishing of Western wedding guests. After the wedding feast was over, the husband was escorted by his friends into the apartment where his wife had previously been conducted. These wedding festivities with relatives and friends lasted for a whole week (Judges 14:17), but the entire number of what was called “the days of the marriage” was thirty.

Fred H. Wight, Manners and Customs of Bible Lands, The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, 1953, 129–134.

Customs of Bible Times – Death in Eastern Lands

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The attitude of the people of the East toward death, and their behavior at such times, is so strikingly different from the attitude and behavior in the West that the Bible student will do well to study such customs.

The Death Wail

As soon as a death has taken place in the East, a wail is raised that announces to all the neighborhood what has happened. This is a sign for the relatives to begin demonstrating their sorrow. This death wail is referred to in connection with the first-born of Egypt, “And Pharaoh rose up in the night, he, and all his servants, and all the Egyptians; and there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead” (Exodus 12:30).

Such a death-wail heard in an Eastern desert has been thus described as, “a sharp, shrill, ear-piercing shriek.” This shriek is followed by prolonged wails. When this is heard, everybody knows a death has occurred.

Lamentation

From the time the death wail is heard, until the burial takes place, relatives and friends continue their lamentation. The prophet Micah compares it to the cry of wild beasts or birds: “I will make a wailing like the jackals, and a lamentation like the ostriches” (Micah 1:8, ARV). Such lamentation was in the house of Jairus when Jesus entered it: “And he cometh to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and seeth the tumult, and them that wept and wailed greatly” (Mark 5:38).

The Hebrew prophets mention professional mourners, who were called in at the time of sorrow to express mourning for the dead. “Call for the mourning women, that they may come; … and let them make haste, and take up a wailing for us” (Jeremiah 9:17, 18). Another reference is to “such as are skillful of lamentation” (Amos 5:16). The presence of such a group of mourners hired for the occasion seems out of place to the Occidental (European) mind; but certainly such professional wailers are no more lacking in helpfulness to the Easterner than are non-religious professional singers at a Western funeral service.

Expressions of Sorrow and Comfort

Since people from the East are so very demonstrative and emotional, it is difficult for those not acquainted with their customs to appreciate their method of expressing their sorrow, and their attempts to be comforted. In times of grief and sorrow, sackcloth is worn, and they often rend their garments in order to let people know how deep is their grief (II Samuel 3:31). The beating of the breast is another method of expressing sorrow (Luke 23:48). Tears flow freely at such times and are considered to be a definite means of bringing comfort to sorrowing hearts (John 11:33).

Preparation of the Body for Burial

In Syria the custom has prevailed of wrapping the dead. Usually the face is covered with a napkin, and then the hands and feet are bound round with linen cloth. The body is then put upon a bier, with a pole at each corner, and thus carried on the shoulders of men to the tomb for burial. The description of Lazarus, when Jesus called him forth from the tomb, indicates that the same custom was practiced in those days: “Out came the dead man, his feet and hands tied with wrappings, and his face tied up with a handkerchief” (John 11:44). Also we know that the body of Jesus was thus wrapped by Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus: “Then took they the body of Jesus, and wound it in linen clothes with the spices, as the manner of the Jews is to bury” (John 19:40). Embalming spices were used when they could be afforded.

Eastern Funerals

Today there are thousands of rock-cut tombs scattered over the land of Palestine, to bring to mind past decades. Such tombs were made by the wealthy. Not being able to afford these, the poorer folks buried their dead in graves. Some of these tombs had many chambers in them. They were closed by a rolling-stone which ran down an inclined plane in front of the mouth of the sepulcher. In the vicinity of ancient Gadara (Luke 8:27), there are many rock-hewn tombs today, bringing to mind the experience of Jesus when he met the demoniac who lived in the tombs.

Often the dead were buried in graves dug in the earth, as in the case of Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, who was buried under an oak at Bethel (Genesis 35:8). Natural caves were sometimes utilized, as in the case of the cave of Machpelah, where Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, Leah, and Jacob were placed (Genesis 49:31; 50:13). When they could afford to do so, families had a sepulcher. Gideon was buried in the sepulcher of Joash his father (Judges 8:32). Only prophets and kings were buried within the limits of a city, as Samuel, who was buried in his house at Ramah (I Samuel 25:1), and David, who was buried in the city of David (I Kings 2:10). A graveyard for poorer people was located outside Jerusalem (II Kings 23:6).

In Bible times it was quite customary for the sorrowing ones to fast up to the time of burial. Then, following the funeral they would be offered bread and wine as a comforting refreshment. Such was called a mourning feast, which had as its real purpose the comforting of the mourners. The prophet Jeremiah refers to this custom: “Neither shall men break bread for them in mourning, to comfort them for the dead; neither shall men give them the cup of consolation to drink for their father or for their mother” (Jeremiah 16:7, ARV). This mourning feast brought to an end the period of deepest sorrow and strict fasting.

Biblical Expression of Eastern Mourning

The Psalmists, Prophets, and Apostles often make use of expressions referring to Eastern mourning. Some of these cannot be appreciated by the Occidental, unless the highly emotional character of the Easterner is understood, and also his fondness for figurative language. The Psalmist says: “Rivers of waters run down mine eyes, because they keep not thy law” (Psalm 119:136). The prophet exclaims, “Oh that my head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people!” (Jeremiah 9:1.) And it was to Easterners that Paul said, “Weep with them that weep” (Romans 12:15). It will pay the Bible student dividends if he will read the Word with the Eastern point of view.

Fred H. Wight, Manners and Customs of Bible Lands, The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, 1953, 142–146.