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Christ’s Concept of Fatherhood

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Our concepts of fatherhood are gained by observation. As we pass from infancy through childhood to maturity, we form our opinions as to what a father is and what a father does, as well as what he does not do, by watching our own fathers. In my childhood, an incident involving my father made a deep and lasting impression upon my mind.

A Father Protects

When I was about ten years old, our family was living on a farm in Oregon, and there were cows to milk each morning and evening. One evening, my sister and I were in the barn milking the cows, somewhat nervously and apprehensively. This was because my older brother was raising a hunting dog, and the dog had been acting strangely for several days. Because this type of dog was known to go mad at times, we were worried.

Then it happened. From the hill behind the barn there came a frenzy of strange, unnatural barking, and it was clearly moving in our direction. We quickly put our milk pails on the floor and scrambled to the top of the stanchions, which held the cows’ heads. These were only six feet high, but it was the best that we could do. There was no place else to go.

We had little more than climbed to our unsteady perches than the dog appeared, wild-eyed and slobbering. He clawed his way through the slightly open door, came to where we were, and started leaping up at us. We could do nothing but call desperately for our father, who had gone to the house on an errand.

Fortunately, our father had heard the frenzied barking, noted where it was coming from, and was already running toward the barn. As he came through the door, without decreasing his speed, he picked up some small object from the floor, and armed with this altogether inadequate weapon, he went straight for the dog. I believe he was ready to grapple with that mad dog with his bare hands, if necessary, in order to protect his children. The dog saw him coming and fled through the back door.

This, to me, was an unforgettable lesson—a father protects his children.

A Father Listens

Now Christ had no earthly father, yet He had some very clear concepts of fatherhood. He must have gained them by watching his stepfather, Joseph. We have very little direct information about Joseph in the Bible, beyond the simple statement that he was a just man (Matthew 1:19). Who was this man, to whom the Creator of the universe entrusted the care of His only-begotten Son? We would like to know more about him. What kind of a father was he? Actually, there is no mystery. As we look at the various statements that Christ made about fathers and fatherhood, we are really looking at Joseph, and we can see that God did well to choose him as a stepfather for His Son.

The gospel of John records over 100 instances where Christ applied the term Father to God. This was far and away His favorite usage. Why? Having grown up in a Hebrew home, He could have used the Hebrew Elohim or Adonay. Since He and most of His listeners spoke Greek, He could have used the Greek, Theos (God) or Kurios (Lord). Apparently these terms did not adequately convey the meaning that He wanted His hearer to understand, so He made the greatest usage of the endearing term, Father. According to Jesus, a father listens.

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He instructed them to begin their prayers with the words, “Our Father.” This would be chancy at best, if it were not that the Father is always listening. Jesus knew that if His instruction was followed, there would be prayers ascending to the Father at all hours of the day and night, so His words were equal to a declaration that the Father is always listening.

Jesus also inspired Ellen White to write: “You need not fear an improper hour. His eye never slumbers nor sleeps. He always hears the prayer of the humble suppliant and grants His blessing. He never turns away unblessed those who seek Him with the whole heart.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 19, 319. [Emphasis supplied.]

In addition to that she wrote: “The Father hears every prayer of His contrite children. The voice of supplication from the earth unites with the voice of our Intercessor, who pleads in heaven, whose voice the Father always hears. Let our prayers therefore continually ascend to God. Let them not come up in the name of any human being, but in the name of Him who is our Substitute and Surety.” In Heavenly Places, 79. [Emphasis supplied.]

A Father Provides

Jesus said it like this: “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.” Matthew 6:31, 32.

“If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” Luke 11:11–13.

“Christ made an appeal to us concerning the willingness of God to help, arguing from the natural love of the parent to his offspring. What father could turn from his son who asks bread? Should anyone dishonor God by imagining that He will not respond to the call of His children?” Selected Messages, Book 1, 329.

A Father is Merciful

“Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.” Luke 6:36.

“Mercy is an attribute that the human agent may share with God. As did Christ, so man may lay hold on the divine arm and be in communication with divine power. To us has been given a service of mercy to perform for our fellow-man. In performing this service, we are laboring together with God. We do well, then, to be merciful, even as our Father in heaven is merciful.” Signs of the Times, May 21, 1902.

A Father Loves

“For the Father himself loveth you . . . .” John 16:27.

“There are those who have known the pardoning love of Christ, and who really desire to be children of God, yet they realize that their character is imperfect, their life faulty, and they are ready to doubt whether their hearts have been renewed by the Holy Spirit. To such I would say, do not draw back in despair. We shall often have to bow down and weep at the feet of Jesus because of our shortcomings and mistakes; but we are not to be discouraged. Even if we are overcome by the enemy, we are not cast off, not forsaken and rejected of God. No, Christ is at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Said the beloved John, ‘These things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.’ And do not forget the words of Christ, ‘The Father Himself loveth you.’ John 16:27. He desires to restore you to Himself, to see His own purity and holiness reflected in you. And if you will but yield yourself to Him, He that hath begun a good work in you will carry it forward to the day of Jesus Christ.” The Faith I Live By, 118.

A Father Transmits His Likeness

“He that hath seen me hath seen the Father . . . .” John 14:9.

“In the Bible the will of God is revealed. The truths of the Word of God are the utterances of the Most High. He who makes these truths a part of his life becomes in every sense a new creature. He is not given new mental powers, but the darkness that through ignorance and sin has clouded the understanding is removed. The words, ‘A new heart also will I give you,’ mean, ‘A new mind will I give you.’ A change of heart is always attended by a clear conviction of Christian duty, an understanding of truth. He who gives the Scriptures close, prayerful attention will gain clear comprehension and sound judgment, as if in turning to God he had reached a higher plane of intelligence.” My Life Today, 24.

A Father Draws

“No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him . . . .” John 6:44.

In our time, unfortunately, there are fathers who are not worthy of the name. Children who grow up in their homes have a very poor concept of fatherhood and have difficulty applying the term “Father” to God. To them, the word has no richness of meaning, no drawing power, because of the poor example of fatherhood they have had.

It is clear that Jesus had no such problem. He grew up in a home where luxuries may have been lacking, but where the excellent fatherhood qualities of His stepfather, Joseph, were constantly before Him. His childhood experiences gave Him a rich treasury of resources on which to draw in setting before us the attributes of the heavenly Father.

A Father Forgives and Restores

Clearly, the climax to all of the teachings of Jesus about the fatherhood of God is in the immortal parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11–32. No one ever misunderstands this parable. I need only to refer to it and the picture will be formed in your own mind. I do not need to quote it.

I have heard Adlai Esteb, a missionary to China, tell about a trip that he made into Tibet, during which time he had occasion to speak to a group of primitive Tibetan herdsmen. Not knowing what better thing he could do, he read to them, through a translator, the story of the prodigal son as given by Jesus. When he had finished the story, he said he saw tears trickling down the cheeks of these rough Tibetan tribesmen. They understood!

Everybody understands the story of the prodigal son. Jesus planned it that way, and Jesus planned that His representation of the nature and character of God would cause every one of us to say, with the prodigal, I will arise, and go to my Father.

Remember The Sabbath Day . . . Part III

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Before the Sabbath begins, all business should be set aside. No new business should be started. Could it be that our minds might drift away from the holy to the common?

“This day [Friday] is preparation day. We would come up to the Sabbath with our work closed up in proper shape and not dragging into the Sabbath. We must commence in the morning to look after every piece of clothing if we have neglected to do this through the week, that our garments may be neat and orderly and comely to appear in the place where God’s people assemble to worship Him. . . . Entering upon new business should be avoided, if possible, but endeavor to close up the things already started that are half accomplished. Prepare everything connected with the household matters so that there shall be free-dom from worries, and the mind be prepared to rest and to meditate upon heavenly things.” That I May Know Him, 147.

“The day before the Sabbath should be made a day of preparation, that everything may be in readiness for its sacred hours. In no case should our own business be allowed to encroach upon holy time. God has directed that the sick and suffering be cared for; the labor required to make them comfortable is a work of mercy, and no violation of the Sabbath; but all unnecessary work should be avoided. Many carelessly put off till the beginning of the Sabbath little things that might have been done on the day of preparation. This should not be. Work that is neglected until the beginning of the Sabbath should remain undone until it is past. This course might help the memory of these thoughtless ones, and make them careful to do their own work on the six working days.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 296.

“Before the Sabbath begins, the mind as well as the body should be withdrawn from worldly business. God has set His Sabbath at the end of the six working days, that men may stop and consider what they have gained during the week in preparation for the pure kingdom which admits no transgressor. We should each Sabbath reckon with our souls to see whether the week that has ended has brought spiritual gain or loss.

“It means eternal salvation to keep the Sabbath holy unto the Lord. God says: ‘Them that honor Me I will honor.’ 1 Samuel 2:30.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 356.

Special instruction has also been given on how to prepare for the Sabbath to those who have their own business and employees. Some will say that those business owners who close half the day on Friday and on Sabbath, these being the busiest days of the week, are losing out on a lot of business. I was told by a minister in Cleveland, Tennessee, that the owner of Chik-fil-A requires new franchise owners to agree to be closed on Sundays. [“Chick-fil-A has remained moored to its core values: ethical and spiritual tomes extolled by the company’s founder, S. Truett Cathy. . . . That corporate guidepost is perhaps most visibly demonstrated by the company’s ‘Never on Sunday’ policy. ‘We feel that is a very special day, a divine day, a day that is set aside for the family and to worship if you choose,’ says Cathy. Cathy has never yielded to external pressures to abandon his ‘Never on Sunday’ policy . . . .” Erica Stephens, “Divine—And Bovine—Intervention,” QSR, August 2002, http://www.chick-fil-a.com/ (cited August 12, 2002).] The minister went on to say that God had richly blessed Chik-fil-A’s owner because of what he did. Now the question is, would not God sustain His people if they were truly devoted to Him? “Them that honor Me I will honor.” Remember that!

“Whenever it is possible, employers should give their workers the hours [off] from Friday noon until the beginning of the Sabbath. Give them time for preparation, that they may welcome the Lord’s day with quietness of mind. By such a course you will suffer no loss even in temporal things.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 356.

Reform Needed

“Before the setting of the sun, let the members of the family assemble to read God’s Word, to sing and pray. There is need of reform here, for many have been remiss. We need to confess to God and to one another. We should begin anew to make special arrangements that every member of the family may be prepared to honor the day which God has blessed and sanctified.” Child Guidance, 529.

Special instruction should be given our children on what is to be done on Sabbath morning.

“Let not the precious hours of the Sabbath be wasted in bed. On Sabbath morning the family should be astir early. If they rise late, there is confusion and bustle in preparing for breakfast and Sabbath school. There is hurrying, jostling, and impatience. Thus unholy feelings come into the home. The Sabbath, thus desecrated, becomes a weariness, and its coming is dreaded rather than loved.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 357.

Keeping the Sabbath Holy

“Do not allow yourself to spend the precious hours of the Sabbath in your bed. The heads of the house should be astir early. . . .

“In the morning the family should gather about the table quietly; and it would be well if on the Sabbath there should ever be a simple, palatable meal, yet something that would be considered a treat, well prepared—something that they do not have every day of the week. Then either before or after the meal should come the family worship. This should be a service in which the children can take some part. All should have their Bibles, each reading a verse or two. Then a simple hymn may be sung, followed, not by a long, wearisome prayer, but a simple petition, telling the Lord in the simplest manner the needs [of the family], and expressing gratitude for God’s mercies and blessings. This invites Jesus as a welcome guest into your house and heart. In the family long prayers of remote things are not in place and make the hour of prayer a weariness, when it should be considered a privilege and a blessing. Make the season one of interest and joy. Never let the children consider it a burden.—Manuscript 57, 1897.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 13, 293.

Do Not be Late for Church

All should learn to be on time for church, setting a right example to others and especially to the children.

Mrs. White addressed this issue in the Youth’s Instructor, March 19, 1879: “It is a sad failing with many that they are always behind time on Sabbath morning. They are very particular about their own time, they cannot afford to lose an hour of that; but the Lord’s time, the only day out of the seven that the Lord claims as his, and requires us to devote to him, quite a portion of this is squandered away by sleeping late in the morning. In this they are robbing God. It causes them to be behind in everything; it makes confusion in the family; and finally results in the tardiness of the entire family at Sabbath school, and perhaps at meeting. Now why can we not rise early with the birds, and offer praise and thanksgiving to God? Try it brethren and sisters. Have your preparations all made the day before, and come promptly to the Sabbath school and meeting, and you will thereby not only benefit others but you will reap rich blessings for yourselves.”

It is interesting how we are able to get up during the week to go to work, or go somewhere that we want to go, and be there on time. But we seem to have a hard time being at the appointed place of worship on Sabbath on time.

In the Review and Herald, May 30, 1871, Mrs. White wrote: “Meetings for conference and prayer should not be made tedious. All should, if possible, be prompt to the hour appointed; and if there are dilatory ones, who are half an hour or fifteen minutes even behind the time, there should be no waiting. If there are but two present, they can claim the promise. The meeting should open at the appointed hour, if possible, be there few or many present.”

Sabbath Thoughts and Words

“When the Sabbath commences, we should place a guard upon ourselves, upon our acts and our words, lest we rob God by appropriating to our own use that time which is strictly the Lord’s. We should not do ourselves, nor suffer our children to do, any manner of our own work for a livelihood or anything which could have been done on the six working days. Friday is the day of preparation. Time can then be devoted to making the necessary preparation for the Sabbath and to thinking and conversing about it. Nothing which will in the sight of Heaven be regarded as a violation of the holy Sabbath should be left unsaid or undone, to be said or done upon the Sabbath. God requires not only that we refrain from physical labor upon the Sabbath, but that the mind be disciplined to dwell upon sacred themes. The Fourth Commandment is virtually transgressed by conversing upon worldly things or by engaging in light and trifling conversation. Talking upon anything or everything which may come into the mind is speaking our own words. Every deviation from right brings us into bondage and condemnation.” Child Guidance, 529, 530.

“Those who wish to be blest and approved of the Lord in this world, and who expect to finally be saved, and have right to the tree of life, must keep the Sabbath holy. They should pray daily for grace and wisdom to keep from polluting it in any way. . . .

“Are you as careful as you should be in keeping the Sabbath? You have something to do besides laying aside your work and amusements on that day. If you, on that day, lay plans of what you will do when the Sabbath is past, or talk of your work, amusements and clothes, you pollute the Sabbath. . . .

“When you are speaking of your hope in God, of Jesus and of his soon coming, and of the beauties of the New Earth, you are not speaking your own words. Of these things you may freely speak on the Sabbath. On six days you may talk of business matters, and lay plans that are necessary; but the Sabbath is holy time, and all worldly thoughts must, on that day, be dismissed from the mind. The blessing of God will then rest upon you, and you will have the sweet consolations of His Spirit, and you will also have confidence when you approach the throne of grace.” Youth’s Instructor, February 1, 1853.

Parents’ Example

Fathers and mothers should attend Sabbath school and church services with their children, thus setting a right example. Many times I have seen fathers, and even mothers, send their children to church alone.

“Fathers and mothers should make it a rule that their children attend public worship on the Sabbath, and should enforce the rule by their own example. It is our duty to command our children and our household after us, as did Abraham. By example as well as precept we should impress upon them the importance of religious teaching. All who have taken the baptismal vow have solemnly consecrated themselves to the service of God; they are under covenant obligation to place themselves and their children where they may obtain all possible incentives and encouragement in the Christian life.

“But while we worship God, we are not to consider this a drudgery. The Sabbath of the Lord is to be made a blessing to us and to our children. They are to look upon the Sabbath as a day of delight, a day which God has sanctified; and they will so consider it if they are properly instructed.” Child Guidance, 530, 531.

No Nap!

“None should permit themselves, through the week, to become so absorbed in their temporal interests, and so exhausted by their efforts for worldly gain, that on the Sabbath they have no strength or energy to give to the service of God. We are robbing the Lord when we unfit ourselves to worship Him upon His holy day. And we are robbing ourselves as well; for we need the warmth and glow of association, as well as the strength to be gained from the wisdom and experience of other Christians.” Ibid., 530.

“Let none come to the place of worship to take a nap. There should be no sleeping in the house of God. You do not fall asleep when engaged in your temporal business, because you have an interest in your work. Shall we allow the service which involves eternal interests to be placed on a lower level than the temporal affairs of life?

“When we do this we miss the blessing which the Lord designs us to have. The Sabbath is not to be a day of useless idleness. Both in the home and in the church a spirit of service is to be manifested. He who gave us six days for our temporal work has blessed and sanctified the seventh day and set it apart for Himself. On this day He will in a special manner bless all who consecrate themselves to His service.

“All heaven is keeping the Sabbath, but not in a listless, do-nothing way. On this day every energy of the soul should be awake, for are we not to meet with God and with Christ our Saviour? We may behold Him by faith. He is longing to refresh and bless every soul.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 361, 362.

Irreverence in God’s House

The Sabbath has also been broken by our disregard and irreverence in the house of God. We have lost the sense that God is present when we worship Him.

“Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, [even] to Horeb. And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush [was] not consumed. And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt. And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here [am] I. And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest [is] holy ground. Moreover he said, I [am] the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. And Moses hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon God.” Exodus 3:1–6.

“God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, and to be had in reverence of all [them that are] about him.” Psalm 89:7.

“It is too true that reverence for the house of God has become almost extinct. Sacred things and places are not discerned; the holy and exalted are not appreciated. . . . Many who profess to be children of the heavenly King have no true appreciation of the sacredness of eternal things. Nearly all need to be taught how to conduct themselves in the house of God. . . . In the minds of many there are no more sacred thoughts connected with the house of God than with the most common place. . . . Such do not realize that they are to meet with God and holy angels. . . . They have no true idea of the order, the neatness, and the refined deportment that God requires of all who come into His presence to worship Him. . . . Unless correct ideas of true worship and true reverence are impressed upon the people, there will be a growing tendency to place the sacred and eternal on a level with common things, and those professing the truth will be an offense to God and a disgrace to religion. They can never, with their uncultivated ideas, appreciate a pure and holy heaven, and be prepared to join with the worshipers in the heavenly courts above, where all is purity and perfection, where every being has perfect reverence for God and His holiness.” Testimonies, vol. 5, 495–498, 500.

True Reverence

“Another precious grace that should be carefully cherished is reverence. True reverence for God is inspired by a sense of His infinite greatness and a realization of His presence. With this sense of the Unseen the heart of every child should be deeply impressed. The hour and place of prayer and the services of public worship the child should be taught to regard as sacred because God is there. And as reverence is manifested in attitude and demeanor, the feeling that inspires it will be deepened.

“Well would it be for young and old to study and ponder and often repeat those words of Holy Writ that show how the place marked by God’s special presence should be regarded.” My Life Today, 281.

“Humility and reverence should characterize the deportment of all who come into the presence of God. In the name of Jesus we may come before Him with confidence, but we must not approach Him with the boldness of presumption, as though He were on a level with ourselves. There are those who address the great and all-powerful and holy God, who dwelleth in light unapproachable, as they would address an equal, or even an inferior. There are those who conduct themselves in His house as they would not presume to do in the audience chamber of an earthly ruler. These should remember that they are in His sight whom seraphim adore, before whom angels veil their faces. God is greatly to be reverenced; all who truly realize His presence will bow in humility before Him.” Ibid.

Once we really understand reverence, we will also understand where two or three are gathered in His name, there He is in the midst of them. (Matthew 18:20.) Does it take a church building for God to be there, or could He be present in the closet, in home worship, and even in a home church?

“God is high and holy; and to the humble, believing soul, His house on earth, the place where His people meet for worship, is as the gate of heaven. The song of praise, the words spoken by Christ’s ministers, are God’s appointed agencies to prepare a people for the church above, for that loftier worship.

“When the worshipers enter the place of meeting, they should do so with decorum, passing quietly to their seats. . . . Common talking, whispering, and laughing should not be permitted in the house of worship, either before or after the service. Ardent, active piety should characterize the worshipers.

“If some have to wait a few minutes before the meeting begins, let them maintain a true spirit of devotion by silent meditation, keeping the heart uplifted to God in prayer that the service may be of special benefit to their own hearts and lead to the conviction and conversion of other souls. They should remember that heavenly messengers are in the house. We all lose much sweet communion with God by our restlessness, by not encouraging moments of reflection and prayer. . . .

“Elevate the standard of Christianity in the minds of your children; help them to weave Jesus into their experience; teach them to have the highest reverence for the house of God and to understand that when they enter the Lord’s house it should be with hearts that are softened and subdued by such thoughts as these: ‘God is here; this is His house. I must have pure thoughts and holiest motives. . . . This is the place where God meets with and blesses His people.’ . . .

Parents should not only teach, but command, their children to enter the sanctuary with sobriety and reverence. Practice reverence until it becomes a part of yourself.” Ibid., 286.

[All Emphasis Supplied.]

From the Pen of Inspiration – The Mother a Missionary

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An important missionary field is opened before the mother. The humble round of duties which women have learned to regard as a wearisome task, should be looked upon as a grand and noble work. It is the mother’s privilege to bless the world by her influence; and in doing this, she will bring joy to her own heart. She may make straight paths for the feet of her children, through sunshine and shadow, to the glorious heights above. Let the mother go often to her Saviour, with the prayer, Teach us, how shall we order the child, and what shall we do unto him? [Judges 13:8, 12.] This simple petition, breathed from the heart of the finite, will find its way to the heart of the Infinite. If the mother will but heed with care the instructions already given in the sacred word, she will receive further light and knowledge as she shall have need.

It is only when she seeks in her own life to follow the teachings of Christ that the mother can hope to form the characters of her children after the divine pattern. In every generation there have been corrupting influences to blight and contaminate. Fashion and custom exert a strong power over the young. If the mother fails in her duty to instruct, counsel, and restrain, her children will naturally accept the evil and turn from the good. God would have parents enter upon their work with energy and courage, and prosecute it with fidelity. Whatever he has made it their duty to do, he will give them wisdom and strength to accomplish.

While they should, above all else, train their children for the future life, parents should by no means neglect to prepare them for the present life. The mother should study how she may best train her sons and daughters to become useful and happy members of society. She should remember that every habit formed, every thought or feeling cherished, every act performed, however unimportant, will either promote or hinder the accomplishment of this object. The Lord desires that we should enjoy the blessings with which he has surrounded us, and that in all the acts of our lives we should express our continual gratitude. We can do this, not by neglecting and abusing his gifts, but by putting them to a wise and noble use, by exerting a right influence over our fellow-men, by reforming wrong customs, instead of following them. “Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart.” [Psalm 97:11.] It is only in pursuing a right course that light and gladness attend our path.

Society is molded by the influence of the mother. She may be wholly occupied within the narrow limits of her home, apparently engaged in life’s humblest duties; yet if she does her work as well as she may do it, in the fear of God, she is gaining greater victories than the leader of armed hosts. She may send forth from her home young men and young women strong in right habits and firm principles. The upright deportment and unblemished morals of her children will be a blessing to the church and to society.

God brought the Israelites from Egypt that he might establish them in the land of Canaan, a pure, holy, and happy people. In the accomplishment of this object he subjected them to a course of discipline, both for their own good and for the good of posterity. Had they been willing to deny appetite, in obedience to his wise restrictions, there would have been no feeble ones in all their tribes. Their descendants would have possessed both physical and mental strength. They would have had clear perceptions of truth and duty, keen discrimination, and sound judgment. But the requirements of God were disregarded then as they are disregarded now. The people were dissatisfied with the simple, wholesome food which had been provided by their Creator. Habits of self-indulgence brought the sure result,—degeneracy and decay.

God’s commands are never designed to make men unhappy. They are the dictates of infinite wisdom, goodness, and love. While they secure the glory of God, they also promote the happiness of men. His restrictions are a safeguard against depravity of heart and corruption of life. The appetites and passions, indulged without restraint, enslave and degrade the higher and nobler powers.

Intemperance in eating and drinking leads to the indulgence of the animal passions. And those who, understanding the effect of their course, indulge appetite and passion at the expense of health and usefulness, are preparing the way to disregard all moral obligations. When temptation assails them, they have little power of resistance. This was the cause of Israel’s continual backsliding; and it is the reason why there is so much crime and so little true godliness in the world today. The only path of safety is the path of daily restraint and self-denial.

Nothing but the power of God, combined with human effort, can accomplish the work of ennobling and uplifting our race. Had men been willing to learn the lessons which God had given them, successive generations would not have deteriorated so greatly in physical, mental, and moral power. Christ, enshrouded in the cloudy pillar, had spoken again and again to Israel for their good; but they had not heeded his voice. Again he appeared to Manoah and his wife with definite instructions concerning the course she should pursue to insure physical and moral health to her offspring. God had a work for the promised child of Manoah to do,—a work which would require careful thought and vigorous action. It was to secure for him the qualities necessary for this work that all his habits were to be carefully regulated. There are today many statesmen, senators, lawyers, judges, and others in responsible positions, whose physical habits have been, nearly all their life-time, at war with natural laws. At the outset of their career, these men may have possessed rare intellectual powers; but the precious gifts of God have been soiled and dimmed, and in too many cases buried, in the mire of self-indulgence.

He who will observe simplicity in all his habits, restricting the appetite and controlling the passions, may preserve his mental powers strong, active, and vigorous, quick to perceive everything which demands thought or action, keen to discriminate between the holy and the unholy, and ready to engage in every enterprise for the glory of God and the benefit of humanity.

It is the mother’s work to train, to educate, and to discipline. While she seeks to store the mind of her child with useful knowledge, let her fortify the young heart with good principles. There is missionary work to be done at home by the fireside. This important field is neglected because of the difficulties to be met; because the work requires labor and self-denial. But will not the result compensate for the sacrifices made, the efforts put forth? Are souls in heathen lands more precious than souls at home? It is indeed a matter which should concern us, that in foreign lands young girls are growing up to wifehood and motherhood knowing nothing of their duties to themselves, to their children, or to God. But should we not at the same time give some thought to the fact that the girls of America are almost wholly destitute of that knowledge and training which would make them useful and honored as wives and mothers? Would that we could lead mothers who are now worshiping at fashion’s shrine to become missionaries at home, training their children to become an honor to God and a blessing to humanity. Would not our Maker look upon such a work with approval?

There is a wide field of labor opened before every mother. If her work is wrought faithfully, in the fear of God, it will bring forth fruit unto eternal life. The mother’s work should begin at home. This is the fountain-head from which her influence and usefulness should flow. If her duties here are discharged with fidelity, she will see all around her fields where she may work with the best results. And by-and-by those words from her Master will fall as sweetest music upon her ear—”Well done, thou good and faithful servant. . . . Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.” [Matthew 25:21.] The Signs of the Times, September 29, 1881.

Ellen G. White (1827–1915) wrote more than 5,000 periodical articles and 40 books during her lifetime. Today, including compilations from her 50,000 pages of manuscript, more than 100 titles are available in English. She is the most translated woman writer in the entire history of literature, and the most translated American author of either gender. Seventh-day Adventists believe that Mrs. White was appointed by God as a special messenger to draw the world’s attention to the Holy Scriptures and help prepare people for Christ’s second advent.

Be A Man

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Surely many of you fathers have watched your young sons put on your shoes and try to walk. They walked clumsily and uncertainly. Were they a man when they did this? Were they a man when they could really wear your shoes? How do you measure a man? Most boys are raised with the idea that someday they will be a man. They are even encouraged to grow up and be a man. But what constitutes the changing of a boy to a man?

When in junior high you may have been considered a man if you had side burns! Certainly if you had a mustache, too, you were really a man!

In high school there were several measures of a man. For instance, when you finally got that long awaited driver’s license and no longer had to walk home or ride the school bus, but were able to drive the family sports car—usually a Ford Fairlane, Chevy Nova or some other exotic brand—you were a man!

How about today? What measures you as a man? Is it money? Is it social status in life? Is it your profession? Is it toughness? Just what measures a man today? The world offers many measures of being a man, none of which are biblical. Let’s look to God’s Word for the measure of a man.

CALLED TO BE A MAN

King David, the greatest king Israel had known, was close to dying. The next King of Israel would be David’s son, Solomon. David, understanding the significance of the matter, called his son to his side and offered him a true measure of a man: “I go the way of all the earth: be thou strong therefore, and shew thyself a man; And keep the charge of the Lord thy God, to walk in his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and his testimonies, as it is written in the law of Moses, that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest, and whither-soever thou turnest thyself.” 1 Kings 2:2, 3.

There is a point in the life of a boy when he must accept the role of being a man, the filling of a man’s shoes. For Solomon, this was his time. With his father dying, he would be next to step into the shoes of becoming a man. David’s advice was to be strong and walk in the ways of God.

BE STRONG

The world promotes a strong dad as someone whose muscles bulge. In David’s fatherly advice to Solomon, he was saying more than just be a physically strong man. Physical strength alone does not prove one to be a man. David was calling for Solomon to be strong in the Lord, to aquire from the Lord his strength for life’s trials.

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.” Ephesians 6:10. Ellen White wrote: “To everyone He [God] grants power according to the need. In his own strength man is strengthless; but in the might of God he may be strong to overcome evil and to help others to overcome. Satan can never gain advantage of him who makes God his defense. ‘Surely, shall one say, in the Lord have I righteousness and strength.’ Isaiah 45:24.” Prophets and Kings, 175.

Solomon, in 1 Kings 3:9, asked God not for strength or riches, but for understanding (wisdom) to lead the people. “Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?” A real man is not measured from the outside, but from the inside, where God’s strength resides.

WALK IN THE WAYS OF GOD

Solomon was charged with the act of proving himself to be a man by keeping the charge of the Lord and walking in His ways. A true man is a man of God who walks with God.

  • Keep His Statutes

The statutes of God are ordinances to live by, ordinances that give life a sense of stability. “Strength of character is to be honored by those who claim to keep the commandments and statutes of God.—Manuscript 154, 1902, p. 12.” Manuscript Releases, vol. 9, 172. “If they [the people of God] would be faithful to obey all the statutes of God they would have a power which would carry conviction to the hearts of the unbelieving.” Testimonies, vol. 2, 446.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6, 7.

  • Keep His Commandments

The commandments are the Law of God. A true man will strive to keep the commandments of God. “Make them know the statutes of God, and his laws.” Exodus 18:16. “Children should be taught that they are only probationers here, and educated to become inhabitants of the mansions which Christ is preparing for those who love Him and keep His commandments. This is the highest duty which parents have to perform.” The Adventist Home, 146.

The greatest commandment is to love God then one another. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” Matthew 22:37–39. “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.” 1 John 4:20, 21. To keep this commandment, men, you will find yourself being a real man.

  • Keep His Judgments

“Seek ye the Lord, all ye meek of the earth, which have wrought his judgment; seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the Lord’s anger.” Zephaniah 2:3. “These are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the Lord your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: that thou mightest fear the Lord thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee . . . all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged.” Deuteronomy 6:1, 2.

“The Lord gave his people commandments, in order that by obeying them they might preserve their physical, mental, and moral health.” Fundamentals of Christian Education, 414.

  • Keep His Testimonies

“Blessed [are] they that keep his testimonies, [and that] seek him with the whole heart.” Psalm 119:2.

Men, “Let us take this [Psalm 119:1-6] for our lesson. Study every word attentively. Upright principles and pure sentiments, cultivated and practiced, form a character after the divine similitude. A conscience void of offense toward God and man, a heart that feels the tenderest sympathy for human beings, especially that they may be won for Christ, will have the attributes that Christ had. All such will be imbued with His Spirit. They will have a reservoir of persuasion and a storehouse of simple eloquence.” Testimonies to Ministers and Gospel Workers, 120.

The testimonies of God speak of His statutes, commandments, and judgments. The man of God will prove himself and prosper by walking in the ways of God.

PASS THE MANTLE

David was passing the mantle to Solomon. David had sinned and suffered the consequences, and now he was instructing his son to keep the ways of God rather than the ways of man. “That the Lord may continue his word which he spake concerning me, saying, If thy children take heed to their way, to walk before me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul, there shall not fail thee (said he) a man on the throne of Israel.” 1 Kings 2:4.

Men, there must be a passing of the mantle from your lives to the lives of your children. What will you pass to them? Will they look to your lives to see the value of walking in the ways of God?

There is a reciprocal law working in your life as well as your children’s lives. “Children live what they learn!” This is perhaps best illustrated by the story of a young pastor who supplemented the income from his first pastorate by mixing feed for livestock. Each day when he came home from work his two boys, ages two and three, would look at him and say, “Boy, Daddy, you sure are dusty.” He would agree with them, then go to take a shower and put on clean clothes.

He did not think too much of this daily exchange until one day when he was working in the garden and noticed his oldest son picking up gravel and stones from the driveway and rubbing them into his pants. “What are you doing?” he asked the little man.

“I want to be dusty like you, Daddy!” came the childish reply.

If a small child would look up to his father for being dusty and want to copy him, a child could look up to his father and follow him in any way. Have your children experienced the truth of God in you? Do your children understand, through your life, what it means to give heart and soul to Christ?

It is not enough to be a man who lets his children decide for themselves. You must show them the way of God through your lives.

Be a man! A real man that is not afraid to let his family and the world know that he stands for Christ and walks in the way of God. A relay coach says that the relay race is won by a successful pass of the baton. In the race of life to reach the goal of heaven, how are you passing on the baton to your children?

A member of the LandMarks’ editorial staff, Anna writes from her home near Sedalia, Colorado. She may be contacted by e-mail at JSchu67410@aol.com.

The Pen of Inspiration – Home Duties of the Father

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Few fathers are fitted for the responsibility of training their children.  They, themselves, need strict discipline that they may learn self-control, forbearance, and sympathy.  Until they possess these attributes they are not capable of properly teaching their children.  What can we say to awaken the moral sensibilities of fathers, that they may understand and undertake their duty to their offspring?  The subject is of intense interest and importance, having a bearing upon the future welfare of our country.  We would solemnly impress upon fathers, as well as mothers, the grave responsibility they have assumed in bringing children into the world.  It is a responsibility from which nothing but death can free them.  True the chief care and burden rests upon the mother during the first years of her children’s lives, yet even then the father should be her stay and counsel, encouraging her to lean upon his large affections, and assisting her as much as possible.

The father’s duty to his children should be one of his first interests.  It should not be set aside for the sake of acquiring a fortune, or of gaining a high position in the world.  In fact, those very conditions of affluence and honor frequently separate a man from his family, and cut off his influence from them more than anything else.  If the father would have his children develop harmonious characters, and be an honor to him and a blessing to the world, he has a special work to do.  God holds him responsible for that work.  In the great day of reckoning it will be asked him: Where are the children that I entrusted to your care to educate for me, that their lips might speak my praise, and their lives be as a diadem of beauty in the world, and they live to honor me through all eternity?

In some children the moral powers strongly predominate.  They have power of will to control their minds and actions.  In others the animal passions are almost irresistible.  To meet these diverse temperaments, which frequently appear in the same family, fathers, as well as mothers, need patience and wisdom from the divine Helper.  There is not so much to be gained by punishing children for their transgressions, as by teaching them the folly and heinousness of their sin, understanding their secret inclinations, and laboring to bend them toward the right. . . .

The teachings of Jesus unfold to the father modes of reaching the human heart, and impressing upon it important lessons of truth and right.  Jesus used the familiar objects of nature to illustrate and intensify his meaning.  He drew lessons from every-day life, the occupations of men, and their dealing with one another.

The father should frequently gather his children around him, and lead their minds into channels of moral and religious light.  He should study their different tendencies and susceptibilities, and reach them through the plainest avenues.  Some may be best influenced through veneration and the fear of God; others through the manifestation of his benevolence and wise providence, calling forth their deep gratitude; others may be more deeply impressed by opening before them the wonders and mysteries of the natural world, with all its delicate harmony and beauty, which speak to their souls of Him who is the Creator of the heavens and the earth, and all the beautiful things therein.

Children who are gifted with the talent or love of music may receive impressions that will be life-long, by the judicious use of those susceptibilities as the medium for religious instruction.  They may be taught that if they are not right with God they are like a discord in the divine harmony of creation, like an instrument out of tune, giving forth discordant strains more grievous to God than harsh, inharmonious notes are to their own fine musical ear.

Many may be reached best through sacred pictures, illustrating scenes in the life and mission of Christ.  By this means truths may be vividly imprinted upon their minds, never to be effaced.  The Roman Catholic church understands this fact, and appeals to the senses of the people through the charm of sculpture and paintings.  While we have no sympathy for image worship, which is condemned by the law of God, we hold that it is proper to take advantage of that almost universal love of pictures in the young, to fasten in their minds valuable moral truths, to bind the gospel to their hearts by beautiful imagery illustrating the great moral principles of the Bible.  Even so our Saviour illustrated his sacred lessons by the imagery found in God’s created works.

It will not do to lay down an iron rule by which every member of the family is forced into the same discipline.  It is better to exert a milder sway, and when any special lesson is required, to reach the consciences of the youth through their individual tastes, and marked points of character.  While there should be uniformity in the family discipline, it should be varied to meet the wants of different members of the family.  It should be the parents’ study not to arouse the combativeness of their children, not to excite them to anger and rebellion, but to interest them, and inspire them with a desire to attend to the highest intelligence and perfection of character.  This can be done in a spirit of Christian sympathy and forbearance, the parents realizing the peculiar dangers of their children, and firmly, yet kindly, restraining their propensities to sin.

The parents, especially the father, should guard against the danger of their children learning to look upon him as a detective, peering into all their actions, watching and criticizing them, ready to seize upon and punish them for every misdemeanor.  The father’s conduct upon all occasions should be such that the children will understand that his efforts to correct them spring from a heart full of love for them.  When this point is gained, a great victory is accomplished.  Fathers should have a sense of their children’s human want and weakness, and his sympathy and sorrow for the erring ones should be greater than any sorrow they can feel for their own misdeeds.  This will be perceived by the corrected child, and will soften the most stubborn heart.

The father, as priest and house-band of the family circle, should stand to them as nearly in the place of Christ as possible—a sufferer for those who sin, one who, though guiltless, endures the pains and penalty of his children’s wrongs, and, while he inflicts punishment upon them, suffers more deeply under it than they do.

But if the father exhibits a want of self-control before his children, how can he teach them to govern their wrong propensities?  If he displays anger or injustice, or evidence that he is the slave of any evil habit, he loses half his influence over them.  Children have keen perceptions, and draw sharp conclusions; precept must be followed by example to have much weight with them.  If the father indulges in the use of any hurtful stimulant, or falls into any other degrading habit, how can he maintain his moral dignity before the watchful eyes of his children? . . .

The dangers of youth are many.  There are innumerable temptations to gratify appetite in this land of plenty.  Young men in our cities are brought face to face with this sort of temptation every day.  They fall under deceptive allurements to gratify appetite, without the thought that they are endangering health.  The young frequently receive the impression that happiness is to be found in freedom from restraint, and in the enjoyment of forbidden pleasures and self-gratification.  This enjoyment is purchased at the expense of the physical, mental, and moral health, and turns to bitterness at last.

How important, then, that fathers look well after the habits of their sons, and their associates.  And first of all he should see that no perverted appetite holds him in bondage, lessening his influence with his sons, and sealing his lips on the subject of self-indulgence in regard to hurtful stimulants.

Man can do much more for God and his fellow-man if he is in the vigor of health than if he is suffering from disease and pain.  Tobacco-using, liquor-drinking, and wrong habits of diet, induce disease and pain which incapacitate man for the use he might be in the world.  Nature, being outraged, makes her voice heard, sometimes in no gentle tones of remonstrance, in fierce pains and extreme debility.  For every indulgence of unnatural appetite the physical health suffers, the brain loses its clearness to act and discriminate.  The father, above all others, should have a clear, active mind, quick perceptions, calm judgment, physical strength to support him in his arduous duties, and most of all the help of God to order his acts aright.  He should therefore be entirely temperate, walking in the fear of God, and the admonition of his law, mindful of all the small courtesies and kindnesses of life, the support and strength of his wife, a perfect pattern for his sons to follow, a counselor and authority for his daughters.  He should stand forth in the moral dignity of a man free from the slavery of evil habits and appetites, qualified for the sacred responsibilities of educating his children for the higher life.

The Signs of the Times, December 20, 1877.

Ellen G. White (1827–1915) wrote more than 5,000 periodical articles and 40 books during her lifetime.  Today, including compilations from her 50,000 pages of manuscript, more than 100 titles are available in English.  She is the most translated woman writer in the entire history of literature, and the most translated American author of either gender.  Seventh-day Adventists believe that Mrs. White was appointed by God as a special messenger to draw the world’s attention to the Holy Scriptures and help prepare people for Christ’s second advent.

Bible Study Guides – Reverence in the House of God

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May 22, 2004 – May 28, 2004

Memory Verse

“Ye shall keep my sabbaths, and reverence my sanctuary: I [am] the Lord.” Leviticus 26:2.

Suggested Reading: Testimonies, vol. 5, 491–500.

Introduction

“When the worshipers enter the place of meeting, they should do so with decorum, passing quietly to their seats. . . . Common talking, whispering, and laughing should not be permitted in the house of worship, either before or after the service. Ardent, active piety should characterize the worshipers.

“If some have to wait a few minutes before the meeting begins, let them maintain a true spirit of devotion by silent meditation, keeping the heart uplifted to God in prayer that the service may be of special benefit to their own hearts and lead to the conviction and conversion of other souls. They should remember that heavenly messengers are in the house. We all lose much sweet communion with God by our restlessness, by not encouraging moments of reflection and prayer. . . .

“Elevate the standard of Christianity in the minds of your children; help them to weave Jesus into their experience; teach them to have the highest reverence for the house of God and to understand that when they enter the Lord’s house it should be with hearts that are softened and subdued by such thoughts as these: ‘God is here; this is His house. I must have pure thoughts and holiest motives. . . . This is the place where God meets with and blesses His people.’ . . .

“Parents should not only teach, but command, their children to enter the sanctuary with sobriety and reverence.

“Practice reverence until it becomes a part of yourself.” My Life Today, 286.

1 What were God’s people anciently taught concerning the sacredness of the sanctuary? Leviticus 26:2.

note: “God is high and holy; and to the humble, believing soul, His house on earth, the place where His people meet for worship, is as the gate of heaven.” My Life Today, 286.

2 When God’s people meet to worship Him, Who is in their midst, though unseen? Matthew 18:20.

note: “Wherever there are as many as two or three believers, let them meet together on the Sabbath to claim the Lord’s promise.

“The little companies assembled to worship God on His holy day have a right to claim the rich blessing of Jehovah. They should believe that the Lord Jesus is an honored guest in their assemblies.” Testimonies, vol. 6, 360, 361.

3 How is the Unseen One to be regarded? Revelation 4:8–11.

note: “The duty to worship God is based upon the fact that He is the Creator and that to Him all other beings owe their existence. And wherever, in the Bible, His claim to reverence and worship, above the gods of the heathen, is presented, there is cited the evidence of His creative power. [Psalm 96:5; Isaiah 40:25, 26; 45:18; Psalms 100:3; 95:6 quoted.] And the holy beings who worship God in heaven state, as the reason why their homage is due to Him: ‘Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for Thou hast created all things.’ Revelation 4:11.” The Great Controversy, 436, 437.

4 What does the presence of God do for His sanctuary? Exodus 3:1–6; Joshua 5:14, 15.

note: “As Joshua withdrew from the armies of Israel, to meditate and pray for God’s special presence to attend him, he saw a man of lofty stature, clad in warlike garments, with his sword drawn in his hand. Joshua did not recognize him as one of the armies of Israel, and yet he had no appearance of being an enemy. In his zeal he accosted him, and said, [Joshua 5:13–15 quoted.]

“This was no common angel. It was the Lord Jesus Christ, He who had conducted the Hebrews through the wilderness, enshrouded in the pillar of fire by night and the pillar of cloud by day. The place was made sacred by His presence; therefore Joshua was commanded to put off his shoes.” The Story of Redemption, 178.

“Well would it be for young and old to study and ponder and often repeat those words of Holy Writ that show how the place marked by God’s special presence should be regarded.” Education, 243.

5 How was God’s presence manifested in the sanctuary in the wilderness? Exodus 40:33–35.

note: “A period of about half a year was occupied in the building of the tabernacle. When it was completed, Moses examined all the work of the builders, comparing it with the pattern shown him in the mount and the directions he had received from God. . . . With eager interest the multitudes of Israel crowded around to look upon the sacred structure. While they were contemplating the scene with reverent satisfaction, the pillar of cloud floated over the sanctuary and, descending, enveloped it. ‘And the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle.’ [Exodus 40:35.]” Patriarchs and Prophets, 349.

6 How was the Lord’s presence revealed when Solomon’s temple was dedicated? 11 Chronicles 5:13, 14.

note: “A most splendid sanctuary had been made, according to the pattern showed to Moses in the mount, and afterward presented by the Lord to David. In addition to the cherubim on the top of the ark, Solomon made two other angels of larger size, standing at each end of the ark, representing the heavenly angels guarding the law of God. It is impossible to describe the beauty and splendor of this sanctuary. Into this place the sacred ark was borne with solemn reverence by the priests, and set in its place beneath the wings of the two stately cherubim that stood upon the floor.

“The sacred choir lifted their voices in praise to God, and the melody of their voices was accompanied by all kinds of musical instruments. And while the courts of the temple resounded with praise, the cloud of God’s glory took possession of the house, as it had formerly filled the wilderness tabernacle.” Review and Herald, November 9, 1905.

7 What title is applied to the One Who meets with His people in His earthly sanctuary? Revelation 19:16; 17:14.

note: “The kingdom of God’s grace is now being established, as day by day hearts that have been full of sin and rebellion yield to the sovereignty of His love. But the full establishment of the kingdom of His glory will not take place until the second coming of Christ to this world. . . .

“The heavenly gates are again to be lifted up, and with ten thousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands of holy ones, our Saviour will come forth as King of kings and Lord of lords. Jehovah Immanuel ‘shall be king over all the earth: in that day shall there be one Lord, and His name one.’ ‘The tabernacle of God’ shall be with men, ‘and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be with them, and be their God.’ Zechariah 14:9; Revelation 21:3.” Thoughts From the Mount of Blessing, 108.

8 When Jesus was entering Jerusalem, how was He received? Luke 19:35–38.

note: “Jesus now accepted the homage which He had never before permitted. . . . All were happy and excited; the people vied with one another in paying Him homage. They could not display outward pomp and splendor, but they gave Him the worship of happy hearts. They were unable to present Him with costly gifts, but they spread their outer garments as a carpet in His path, and they also strewed the leafy branches of the olive and the palm in the way. They could lead the triumphal procession with no royal standards, but they cut down the spreading palm boughs, Nature’s emblem of victory, and waved them aloft with loud acclamations and hosannas.” The Desire of Ages, 570.

9 How reverently do the heavenly beings worship? Isaiah 6:1–4.

note: “When God was about to send Isaiah with a message to His people, He first permitted the prophet to look in vision into the holy of holies within the sanctuary. Suddenly the gate and the inner veil of the temple seemed to be uplifted or withdrawn, and he was permitted to gaze within, upon the holy of holies, where even the prophet’s feet might not enter. There rose before him a vision of Jehovah sitting upon a throne high and lifted up, while the train of His glory filled the temple. Around the throne were seraphim, as guards about the great King, and they reflected the glory that surrounded them. As their songs of praise resounded in deep notes of adoration, the pillars of the gate trembled, as if shaken by an earthquake. With lips unpolluted by sin, these angels poured forth the praises of God. ‘Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord of hosts,’ they cried: ‘the whole earth is full of his glory’ (Isaiah 6:3).

“The seraphim around the throne are so filled with reverential awe as they behold the glory of God, that they do not for an instant look upon themselves with admiration. Their praise is for the Lord of hosts. As they look into the future, when the whole earth shall be filled with His glory, the triumphant song is echoed from one to another in melodious chant, ‘Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord of hosts.’ They are fully satisfied to glorify God; abiding in His presence, beneath His smile of approbation, they wish for nothing more.” God’s Amazing Grace, 72.

“These holy beings sang forth the praise and glory of God with lips unpolluted with sin. The contrast between the feeble praise which he [Isaiah] had been accustomed to bestow upon the Creator and the fervid praises of the seraphim, astonished and humiliated the prophet. . . .” Conflict and Courage,

Bible Study Guides – A Christian Home

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May 15, 2004 – May 21, 2004

Memory Verse

“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.” Proverbs 1:8

Suggested Reading: The Acts of the Apostles, 203, 204; Testimonies, vol. 1, 697–706; vol. 2, 414–419; vol. 3, 527–534.

Introduction

“Upon fathers and mothers rest to a large degree the responsibility for the mold of character that their children receive. . . . If parents will teach their children to conduct themselves according to the principles of the Word of God, these children will unconsciously teach others what it means to be Christians. Let parents maintain true Christian dignity before their children, and they will be greatly aided in their work of upbuilding the kingdom of Christ.” This Day With God, 307.

1 What instruction is given to the husband and wife in the home? Ephesians 5:22–25, 28–33.

note: “Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward His church is the spirit that the husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. If they love God supremely, they will love each other in the Lord, ever treating each other courteously, drawing in even cords. In their mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice they will be a blessing to each other. . . .” The Adventist Home, 95.

2 What admonition is given parents in reference to their children? Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21.

note: “The children in every family are to be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Evil propensities are to be controlled, evil tempers subdued; and the children are to be instructed that they are the Lord’s property, bought with His own precious blood, and that they cannot live a life of pleasure and vanity, have their own will and carry out their own ideas, and yet be numbered among the children of God. The children are to be instructed with kindness and patience. . . . Let the parents teach them of the love of God in such a way that it will be a pleasant theme in the family circle, and let the church take upon them the responsibility of feeding the lambs as well as the sheep of the flock.” Child Guidance, 42.

3 What instruction is given children concerning their duty toward their parents? Exodus 20:12; Colossians 3:20. Compare Ephesians 6:1, 2.

note: “Our obligation to our parents never ceases. Our love for them, and theirs for us, is not measured by years or distance, and our responsibility can never be set aside. . . .

“Parents are entitled to a degree of love and respect which is due to no other person. . . . The fifth commandment requires children not only to yield respect, submission, and obedience to their parents, but also to give them love and tenderness, to lighten their cares, to guard their reputation, and to succor and comfort them in old age.” My Life Today, 278.

4 What further admonition is given children in this matter by Solomon? Proverbs 1:8; 13:1.

note: “This young man has made light of his father’s authority, and despised restraint. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It lies at the foundation of a proper education. Those who, having a favorable opportunity, have failed to learn this first great lesson, are not only disqualified for service in the cause of God, but are a positive injury to the community in which they live.” Testimonies, vol. 4, 208.

“Patiently and perseveringly will the godly mother instruct her children, giving them line upon line, and precept upon precept, not in a harsh, compelling manner, but in love; and in tenderness will she win them. They will consider her lessons of love, and will happily listen to her words of instruction.” Review and Herald, August 8, 1899.

5 What example of obedience to and care of parents is left by the Saviour? Luke 2:51; John 19:25–27.

note: “Notwithstanding the sacred mission of Christ, His exalted relationship with God, of which He was fully aware, He was not above performing the practical duties of life. He was the Creator of the world, and yet He acknowledged His obligation to His earthly parents, and at the call of duty, in compliance with the wishes of His parents, He returned with them from Jerusalem after the Passover, and was subject unto them.” Lift Him Up, 32.

“The eyes of Jesus wandered over the multitude that had collected together to witness His death, and He saw at the foot of the cross John supporting Mary, the mother of Christ. . . . The last lesson of Jesus was one of filial love. He looked upon the grief-stricken face of His mother, and then upon John; said He, addressing the former: ‘Woman, behold thy son!’ Then, to the disciple: ‘Behold thy mother!’ John 19:27. John well understood the words of Jesus, and the sacred trust which was committed to him. . . . The perfect example of Christ’s filial love shines forth with undimmed luster from the mist of ages. While enduring the keenest torture, He was not forgetful of His mother, but made all provision necessary for her future.” The Story of Redemption, 224.

6 How should the youth regard the aged? Leviticus 19:32; 1 Timothy 5:1. Compare 11 Kings 2:23, 24.

note: “God has especially enjoined tender respect toward the aged. He says, ‘The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.’ Proverbs 16:31. It tells of battles fought, and victories gained; of burdens borne, and temptations resisted. It tells of weary feet nearing their rest, of places soon to be vacant. Help the children to think of this, and they will smooth the path of the aged by their courtesy and respect, and will bring grace and beauty into their young lives . . . .” Education, 244.

“We have in our ranks too many who are restless, talkative, self-commending, and who take the liberty to put themselves forward, having no reverence for age, experience, or office. The church is suffering today for help of an opposite character—modest, quiet, God-fearing men, who will bear disagreeable burdens when laid upon them, not for the name, but to render service to their Master, who died for them. Persons of this character do not think it detracts from their dignity to rise up before the ancient and to treat gray hairs with respect. Our churches need weeding out. Too much self-exaltation and self-sufficiency exists among the members.” Testimonies, vol. 4, 340.

7 What important counsel is given the young in Ecclesiastes 12:1? See also Lamentations 3:27.

note: “Teach your children that youth is the best time to seek the Lord. Then the burdens of life are not heavy upon them, and their young minds are not harassed with care, and while so free they should devote the best of their strength to God.” Testimonies, vol. 1, 397.

“Children and youth should begin early to seek God; for early habits and impressions will frequently exert a powerful influence upon the life and character. Therefore the youth who would be like Samuel, John, and especially like Christ, must be faithful in the things which are least, turning away from the companions who plan evil and who think that their life in the world is to be one of pleasure and selfish indulgence. Many of the little home duties are overlooked as of no consequence; but if the small things are neglected, the larger duties will be also. You want to be whole men and women, with pure, sound, noble characters. Begin the work at home; take up the little duties and do them with thoroughness and exactness. When the Lord sees you are faithful in that which is least, He will entrust you with larger responsibilities. Be careful how you build, and what kind of material you put into the building. The characters you are now forming will be lasting as eternity.” The Adventist Home, 297.

8 What reminder is also given to the youth? Ecclesiastes 11:9, 10; 12:14.

note: “Dear young friends, that which you sow, you will also reap. Now is the sowing time for you. What will the harvest be? What are you sowing? Every word you utter, every act you perform, is a seed which will bear good or evil fruit and will result in joy or sorrow to the sower. As is the seed sown, so will be the crop. God has given you great light and many privileges. After this light has been given, after your dangers have been plainly presented before you, the responsibility becomes yours. The manner in which you treat the light that God gives you will turn the scale for happiness or woe. You are shaping your destinies for yourselves.” Testimonies, vol. 3, 363.

“A little time spent in sowing your wild oats, dear young friends, will produce a crop that will embitter your whole life; an hour of thoughtlessness, once yielding to temptation, may turn the whole current of your life in the wrong direction. You can have but one youth; make that useful. When once you have passed over the ground you can never return to rectify your mistakes. He who refuses to connect with God, and puts himself in the way of temptation, will surely fall. God is testing every youth.” Ibid., vol. 4, 622, 623.

9 What will aid the young to live a Christian life? Psalm 119:9, 11.

note: “We know the dangers and temptations that beset the youth at the present time are not few or small. . . . We live in an age when to resist evil calls for constant watchfulness and prayer. God’s precious Word is the standard for youth who would be loyal to the King of heaven. Let them study the Scriptures. Let them commit text after text to memory, and acquire a knowledge of what the Lord has said. . . . And in trial let the youth spread out the Word of God before them, and with humble hearts, and in faith, seek the Lord for wisdom to find out His way, and for strength to walk in it. . . .” My Life Today, 315.

10 How may all obtain true knowledge? Proverbs 2:1–6.

note: “We must turn away from a thousand topics that invite attention. There are matters that consume time and arouse inquiry, but end in nothing. The highest interests demand the close attention and energy that are so often given to comparatively insignificant things.

“Accepting new theories does not in itself bring new life to the soul. Even an acquaintance with facts and theories important in themselves is of little value unless put to a practical use. We need to feel our responsibility to give our souls food that will nourish and stimulate spiritual life. [Proverbs 2:2–11, A.R.V.; 3:18 quoted.]

“The question for us to study is, ‘What is truth—the truth that is to be cherished, loved, honored, and obeyed?’ ” The Ministry of Healing, 456.

11 What does the Lord ask of the young? Proverbs 23:26.

note: “The Saviour of the world loves to have children and youth give their hearts to Him. There may be a large army of children who shall be found faithful to God, because they walk in the light, as Christ is in the light. They will love the Lord Jesus, and it will be their delight to please Him. They will not be impatient if reproved; but will make glad the heart of father and mother by their kindness, their patience, their willingness to do all they can in helping to bear the burdens of daily life. Through childhood and youth, they will be found faithful disciples of our Lord.” Messages to Young People, 333.

12 What great work is to be wrought in homes before the Lord comes? Malachi 4:5, 6.

note: “I [Ellen White] am instructed to urge upon our people most earnestly the necessity of religion in the home. Among the members of the household there is ever to be a kind, thoughtful consideration. Morning and evening let all hearts be united in reverent worship. At the season of evening worship, let every member of the family search well his own heart. Let every wrong that has been committed be made right. If, during the day, one has wronged another, or spoken unkindly, let the transgressor seek pardon of the one he has injured. Often grievances are cherished in the mind, and misunderstandings and heartaches are created that need not be. If the one who is suspected of wrong be given an opportunity, he might be able to make explanations that would bring relief to other members of the family.

“ ‘Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another,’ that ye may be healed of all spiritual infirmities, that sinful dispositions may be changed. Make diligent work for eternity. Pray most earnestly to the Lord, and hold fast to the faith. Trust not in the arm of flesh, but trust implicitly in the Lord’s guidance.” Review and Herald, November 8, 1906.

Words, Part I

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In Hebrews 4:2, the apostle Paul says, “For the gospel is preached to us as well as them, but the word did not profit them, not being mixed with faith.” Friends, I need to forewarn you. What we will be studying in this article could be very discouraging, if you do not have enough faith. But if you realize that for everything God has told us to do or not to do, He will give us the grace and power to do it—if we trust in Him and choose to follow Him—then what we are going to study can be very exciting.

Heaven Talk

Have you ever wondered how people talk in heaven? Do you talk in your home the way people talk in heaven? When do you think you should learn to talk like people talk in heaven? Now? Yes, now!

In the Book of James, we are told that the one who controls his tongue is a perfect man. (James 3:2.) If you are not yet perfect, do not be discouraged. Just take hold of the Lord by faith and say, “Lord, this is the way you want me to speak, and I am determined, by Your grace, to talk the way You want me to talk.” If you follow the principles, the Lord will give you the power and the grace to talk His way. Of course, we need to understand how God wants us to talk.

As I have studied the Spirit of Prophecy writings, I have been interested to discover how much Ellen White wrote on the subject of speech in reference to the family. We are going to look at some of these principles, and I hope they will be as great a blessing to you as they have been to me.

Plan Each Morning

One of the first principles is that we need to plan in the morning what we are going to say.

“The first missionary work is to see that love, light, and joy come into the home circle. Let us not be looking for some great temperance or missionary work to do until we have first done the duties at home. Every morning we should think, What kind act can I do today? What tender word can I speak? Kind words at home are blessed sunshine. The husband needs them, the wife needs them, the children need them.” Review and Herald, December 23, 1884.

What do you suppose, friends, would happen in our homes if every morning, every husband, before he got out of bed, was thinking to himself, “What kind word, what tender word, what kind act can I do today for my wife or for my children?” If every wife was thinking before she got out of bed, “What kind word can I speak to my husband today? What tender act could I do for him or for my children?” If we started making plans the first thing in the morning, like the Lord has instructed us, would that make a difference in our homes?

We need the sunshine of kind and tender words in our homes, but that is going to take some planning. Have you noticed that anything worthwhile does not just happen? Someone has to make plans. If we want our speech to be right, the time to start is before we ever get out of bed in the morning. We need to start making plans then—“What kind and tender word could I speak to my spouse today? What act could I do for my spouse today or for my children?” If we start making plans each morning, like the Lord has told us to do, it will have a tremendous influence in our homes. Who knows? We might even think of something kind and tender to say before breakfast!

How We Should Speak

How should we speak? In The Signs of the Times, November 14, 1911, Ellen White advised that we should “cultivate soft tones.” What is the opposite of soft? Harsh—so we want to avoid all harshness of expression.

Mrs. White also said, “We should accustom ourselves to speak in pleasant tones.” Ibid., February 22, 1905. We all like to be spoken to with pleasant tones. She also told us what to avoid: “Never let a frown gather upon your brow.” Testimonies, vol. 3, 532. That is a high standard! Did you know that people do not frown in heaven? They do not, and we are to cultivate a heavenly atmosphere in our homes.

She continued, “Never let a frown gather upon your brow or a harsh word escape your lips. Harsh words sour the temper and wound the hearts of children, and in some cases these wounds are difficult to heal. Children are sensitive . . . .” Ibid. Are your children sensitive? I have known for a long time that my children are sensitive, but I have learned, as I have studied this subject, that all children are sensitive. “Children are sensitive to the least injustice, and some become discouraged under it and will neither heed the loud, angry voice of command nor care for threatenings of punishment.” Ibid. Some become discouraged and may finally decide they do not care whether they are punished or not; they will do what pleases them. We do not want our children to develop that frame of mind, so we must avoid all harsh words and not let frowns develop on our brows.

Passionate Words

We are all tempted to speak passionately at times. What should we do when we realize passionate feelings are arising, and we are about to really let somebody have it? There are all kinds of expressions for this in our language. Have you heard anyone say that they are going to give somebody “a piece of their mind”? Usually they do not mean a good piece!

What should we do when such feelings start to develop? “When about to speak passionately, close your mouth. Don’t utter a word. Pray before you speak, and heavenly angels will come to your assistance and drive back the evil angels, who would lead you to dishonor God, reproach His cause, and weaken your own soul.” Ibid., vol. 2, 82.

When we are tempted to speak passionately, it is time not to speak. It is time to close our mouths. If we are really heated up, we might even need to seek a private place, get down on our knees, and have a session of prayer, asking the Lord to calm our souls so our spirits will not be chaffed. We cannot avoid speaking passionately if our spirits are chaffed. That irritableness in our spirits has to be taken away. The Lord has to take it away, or no matter what we say, our words will not be right. Friends, if we ask, God will give us victory over the passion of spirit. We must have that. Otherwise, when we open our mouths, no matter how good are our intentions, we will have a lot of apologizing to do, to say the least.

Begins in the Home

“The work of sanctification begins in the home. . . .

“In the home the spirit of criticism and faultfinding should have no place. . . .

“No harsh, passionate word is ever spoken without grieving the Lord Jesus, and hurting the heart of speaker and of hearer. From the Christian home all angry or trifling speeches will be excluded; for in the home above nothing of this character finds place.” The Signs of the Times, February 17, 1904.

We are to avoid all angry, trifling, passionate speeches. In the Christian home, those must be excluded, along with the spirit of criticism and faultfinding. That does not mean we are to close our eyes and not be aware of what is going wrong, but we are not to have a spirit of trying to tear down.

Have you ever noticed how sensitive we are to having our faults exposed? I have been amazed, over and over again, at how sensitive we as human beings are. We may have a hundred things wrong, but to have someone point out even one fault, just about tears us to pieces. Have you ever wondered about your children? Since we as adults are sensitive to having someone point out any fault that we have, do you suppose our children might be sensitive to having their faults pointed out? If you keep that in mind, it will be a great help to you.

We need to do a lot of praying, friends, before we seek to point out a fault in our children. Remember, they are just as sensitive as we are, maybe more so. It takes great tact and love and kindness to be able to point out a fault and have it received in the right way so that the child will be drawn to Jesus and be determined to correct it. Mrs. White talked about this: “When you are obliged to correct a child, do not raise the voice to a high key . . . .” Ibid.

Some of us have this problem. I personally have to do a lot of praying about this. It is easy for me to raise my voice to a high key. What happens when we do that? “Do not raise the voice to a high key bringing into it that which will arouse the worst passions of the child’s heart.” Ibid. When the voice is raised to a high key, what is a natural response for the listener? It is easy for the child to feel like he or she is getting scolded, and that might be exactly what is happening.

Hasty Speech

“Restrain every hasty speech that struggles for utterance. Before you speak that fretful, impatient word, stop and think of the influence which, if spoken, it will exert. Remember that children are quick to hear every word, and to mark every intonation of the voice.” Ibid.

I have tested this out on our dog. I did not want to test it on my children. I have found that I can speak the most severe reproofs, commands, and awful things to our dog, and if I speak softly, with a smile on my voice, she just wags her tail. But if I yell at her, telling her that I love her and that she is a good dog, she starts to cower. Children will respond just as dogs do. They recognize the tone of our voices. That is why we are to accustom ourselves to always speaking in pleasant tones.

Should we not reprove our children? God has commanded us to not allow the faults of our children to pass by without being corrected. Notice what Mrs. White wrote about this: “Under all circumstances reproof should be spoken in love. . . .

“Not one word is to be spoken unadvisedly.” Ibid., February 22, 1905.

Corrupt Communication

The Bible talks about corrupt communication in 1 Corinthians. What is corrupt communication? “No evil speaking, no frivolous talk, no fretful repining or impure suggestions, will escape the lips of him who is following Christ. . . . A corrupt communication does not mean only words that are vile. It means any expression contrary to holy principles and pure, undefiled religion. It includes impure hints and covert insinuations of evil. Unless instantly resisted, these lead to great sin.

“Upon every family, upon every individual Christian, is laid the duty of barring the way against corrupt speech. When in the company of those who indulge in foolish talk, it is our duty to change the subject of conversation if possible.” Ibid.

We do not want corrupt communication in our homes. We cannot have it in our homes if we are getting ready to go to heaven, because people do not talk like that in heaven.

False Witness

Mrs. White also gave the definition of false witness: “We think with horror of the cannibal who feasts on the still warm and trembling flesh of his victim; but are the results of even this practice more terrible than are the agony and ruin caused by misrepresenting motive, blackening reputation, dissecting character? . . .

“God’s Word condemns also the use of those meaningless phrases and expletives that border on profanity.” Ibid., March 1, 1905.

Do you know what an expletive is? An expletive is a word that is not used according to its dictionary definition, but is used to express emotion. Unfortunately, many people use the characteristics of God as expletives, thereby breaking the third commandment. The characteristics of God are listed in Exodus 34:6. “And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth . . . .” Those are the characteristics of God.

One of the words used to describe His characteristics is the word merciful. Have you ever heard the word mercy used as an expletive? That is a name for God, friends. It is part of His character. To use that word just to express emotion is to break the third commandment. Part of His Name is the word gracious. To use that word in a flippant way is to break the third commandment.

There are all sorts of words that I do not want to repeat and develop bad habits of speaking by repeating them, but you know what I am talking about. Have you ever heard somebody say, “Oh, _____”? There are several words that could follow that. Some of them men’s names—and they are not used to refer to any man. They are just used to express emotion. Those are expletives. Mrs. White calls them “meaningless phrases.” Jesus never used those. You will not find any expletives that He ever used in the entire Gospel account, and He is our example.

Deceptive Compliments

The Bible condemns the deceptive compliments, meaningless phrases, and expletives that border on profanity. Oh, friends, this bothers me. This is a problem, friends, for Christians. We have a big problem in giving deceptive compliments, trying to make people feel good in saying something to them that we do not really believe. That is breaking the ninth commandment.

“The evasions of truth, the exaggerations . . .” You know, some people have become so used to exaggerating that in their common, everyday speech—whatever they are talking about—they exaggerate. That will not happen in heaven, friends. They do not make understatements or give exaggerations there. Since I have studied this, I am trying to correct my own speech. We need to be careful that our speech is accurate.

“Closely allied to gossip is the covert [hidden] insinuation, the sly innuendo, by which the unclean in heart seek to insinuate the evil they dare not openly express. Every approach to these practices the youth should be taught to shun as we would shun the leprosy.” Ibid.

Friends, if we are getting ready for heaven, we must train our children to not speak the way they hear other people speaking. Other people are not to be our guides. Jesus is our Guide. We must train our children from babyhood that they must not say anything that they hear other people speaking. This is one of the reasons we as parents need to take time to talk with our children. We need to know how they speak and what they are saying. If they are picking up phrases and expressions from someone else that are not suitable, not understanding what they mean, we must correct their speech and teach them how to speak appropriately. This is also a reason for being careful with whom our children associate.

Quarreling Children

What do you do with children in the home who are quarreling? Ellen White gave counsel regarding that. “Parents, do all in your power to keep disagreements out of the home circle. If the children quarrel, remind them that God has said, ‘Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.’ Teach them never to let the sun go down on angry feelings or sin unconfessed. Teach them that harmony should reign in the home, even as it reigns in heaven. . . .

“Repress every harsh word. Remember that fretting and scolding are as injurious to your children as profanity, and that too much management is as bad as no management at all. Be firm, but let no loud, angry words escape your lips. [There, again, are two kinds of speech we are to avoid—harsh words and loud, angry words.] Rule your children with tenderness and compassion, remembering that ‘their angels do always behold the face of My Father which is in heaven.’ . . . Work with loving tenderness; for this is the way Christ works.” The Signs of the Times, April 23, 1902.

Of what are we to remind the children? Not to let the sun go down on their wrath. That is a very literal expression from the Bible. (Ephesians 4:26.) We are to tell our children to not let the sun go down before they have made things right—to not let the sun go down on unconfessed sin or angry feelings.

Self-Control

“God looks into every secret thing of life. By some a constant battle is maintained for self-control.” The Signs of the Times, August 23, 1899. Perhaps you have a constant battle with your tongue. God knows that, friend. You may have to keep up a constant battle your whole life, but God will give you the victory. “Daily they [those battling for self-control] strive silently and prayerfully against harshness of speech and temper. These strivings may never be appreciated by human beings. They may get no praise from human lips for keeping back the hasty words which sought for utterance. The world will never see these conquests, and if it could, it would only despise the conquerors. But in heaven’s record they are registered as overcomers. There is One who witnesses every secret combat and every silent victory, and He says, ‘He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.’ [Proverbs 16:32.]” Ibid.

Scolding

A few statements about scolding have already been addressed, but in the following statement, we are given some counsel on dealing with children who are in trouble. Now, children from the earliest ages get into troubles of various kinds. Their feelings are aroused; maybe they are angry or depressed or hurt or discouraged. Children have all of these kinds of problems just as do adults. To them, their trials are just as severe as our trials are to us. How do we deal with these?

“The little ones must be carefully soothed when in trouble. Children between babyhood and manhood and womanhood do not generally receive the attention they should have. Mothers are needed who will so guide their children that they will regard themselves as a part of the family. Let the mother talk with her children regarding their hopes and their perplexities. Let parents remember that their children are to be cared for in preference to strangers. They are to be kept in a sunny atmosphere, under the mother’s guidance. Be careful that you are not rude to your children, either in speech or in temper. Require obedience, and do not allow yourself to speak carelessly to your children, because your manners and your words are their lesson-book. Help them gently, tenderly, over this period of their life. Let the sunshine of your presence make sunshine in their hearts. These growing boys and girls feel very sensitive, and by roughness you may mar their whole life. Be careful, mothers. Never scold; for that never helps.” Ibid., August 23, 1899. We do not want to do something that would never help, do we? That does not mean, however, that we should not be firm. The very next sentence says, “Firmness is ever to be united with love in the home life.” Ibid.

Harmony

How much harmonious speech in the home means to the children! “Allow in the home nothing that savors of cheapness or commonness. You are preparing your children for entrance into the City of God, and nothing that defiles can enter there.

“Be pleasant and cheerful. Remember that love is the power that binds your children to you.” Ibid., September 16, 1903. We should always remember that sentence. It is the power of love that binds our children to us.

“Keep your words and actions free from anger. Do nothing that will destroy the harmony of the home. Let the sharp words [there is another type of word to avoid] that you are tempted to speak die unspoken. Such words wound and bruise the hearts of the hearers.” Ibid.

To be continued . . .

Pastor Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by e-mail at: historic@stepstolife.org or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

Words, Part II

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A statement in The Signs of the Times, November 11, 1903, speaks of the power of love: “Never treat your children harshly; for harshness arouses stubbornness and resistance. You will find that they are most easily and successfully governed by kindness and gentleness.” Kindness and gentleness is what we need. “Love breaks down all barriers, and gentleness subdues the most stubborn will. Treat your children as you would wish to be treated were you in their place. Let there be no scolding, no loud-voiced, angry commands.” Ibid. Do not be discouraged, friends. Remember to have faith and say, “Lord, this is how You have told me to speak. I am choosing to follow Your counsel. Give me the grace to speak this way.” Friends, the Lord will do it. The Lord will answer your prayer. If you keep praying, the Lord will keep answering.

No Disagreements

Counsel is also given that the father and mother, in reference to their speech, should not have verbal disagreements between themselves in the children’s presence. Mrs. White says, “Not a particle of variance should be shown by parents in the management of their children. Parents are to work together as a unit. There must be no division. But many parents work at cross-purposes, and thus the children are spoiled by mismanagement. If parents do not agree, let them absent themselves from the presence of their children until an understanding can be arrived at.” Review and Herald, March 30, 1897. Oh friends, if parents would honor this, it would save so much trouble in the home.

As parents, we must have a united front. We must not have the father saying one thing and the mother saying another. That will destroy harmony, and it will ruin the child. Having said this, it does not mean we are to be wishy-washy. When we say, “No,” it has to mean no, and when we say, “Yes,” it has to mean yes.

“Scolding, loud-voiced commands, or threatenings should never be heard. Parents should keep the atmosphere of the home pure and fragrant with kind words, with tender sympathy and love; but at the same time, they are to be firm and unyielding in principle.” Ibid. If a principle is involved, we are not to give way. “If you are firm with your children [this simply means that when you say, ‘No,’ it means no], they may think that you do not love them.” They may think this way for a while, but Mrs. White says, “This you may expect; but never manifest harshness. Justice and mercy must clasp hands; there must be no wavering or impulsive movements.” Ibid.

True Words

Counsel has been given on a subject about which you would think Christians would never need to be counseled, but Ellen White spent considerable time on this subject. Our words at home are always to be true. Oh friends, one of my cherished memories of my own home is that I can never, ever remember either my father or my mother, at any time, telling me something that was not true. My parents did not have to explain to me, as I grew up, that there was not a Santa Claus, because they had never told me that there was a Santa Claus. Neither did they have to explain to me that there was no real Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse or a hundred other things that some children believe. If you tell your children fictitious or untrue stories or speak anything that is untrue, someday their confidence in you is going to be weakened, because a child believes everything that their parents tell them—until they find out their parents do not always tell the truth. Then they flip the other way, and they do not believe anything their parents say.

Mrs. White says, “Never let your children have the semblance of an excuse for saying, Mother does not tell the truth. Father does not tell the truth.” Review and Herald, April 13, 1897. Children, from their earliest years, should have confidence that if mommy said it, it is so. If daddy said it, it is so. We often do not realize how our words affect whether or not our children are going to believe what they hear in Sabbath School or church.

Criticism

Ellen White also speaks about criticism. She wrote, “We should abstain from all evil-speaking and evil-surmising.” Review and Herald, April 21, 1891. Do you know what evil surmising is? I suppose it is something that every individual has been tempted to do at some time or another. Have you ever had suspicions about someone or something—you did not yet have the facts, but things just did not seem right to you? When this happens, you may have suspicions, and you may have to watch things develop, but it is dangerous to talk about your suspicions. This is evil surmising. You think something is bad; you do not yet have the facts; you do not yet have the evidence, but it looks bad. You think there is something awry, so you start talking about it, which starts all kinds of trouble in homes and churches and institutions and everywhere else.

“We should abstain from all evil-speaking and evil-surmising. Our children will be in danger of losing all respect for religion if we indulge in criticism of others.” Ibid.

I have thought about this so many times. How would I feel if someone who knew me really well began telling everybody all of the mistakes I have made? I have made so many mistakes that if anyone but the Lord knew them all, I suppose they would think that I am a bad person. I would prefer that all of the mistakes I have made not be publicized to everybody. Do you suppose that there are other people who feel the same way? When we are talking about the subject of criticism, people think that we are talking about something that is not true, but this is not the case. We can destroy each other while telling the truth! We can destroy our neighbors, and in the process, we will destroy our children. Ellen White says that they will lose all respect for religion.

Respect Those Older

The relationship of our children with the elderly has become very painful in America today. Our young people do not respect older people. Ellen White wrote: “Teach your children to be kind and courteous to all, and especially to respect the old. If you do all that God has given you to do, you will have no time to criticize your neighbor.” Ibid.

Jesting and Joking

I was once acquainted with a person who told a lot of jokes. He was one of the funniest persons I ever knew. When I was with him, I laughed and laughed and laughed, and everybody else did, too. He was a religious person, but when he would give a testimony in church, the young people did not give it much account. Our words need to be true.

When I was in academy, I learned how to tell jokes. I was very fortunate that about the time I started learning how to tell jokes, I read some statements in the Spirit of Prophecy stating that if I jested and joked, I would lose the Holy Spirit. When I found that out, I had to make a decision whether I was going to be a jester and a joker and a popular person, or whether I was going to have the Holy Spirit.

In the same article, it says, “Instead of indulging in jesting and joking, suppose you begin to exalt Jesus, talking of his wonderful charms.” Ibid. Oh friends, that is what we need in our homes. That is what we need in our churches. We need to be exalting Jesus and talking of His wonderful charms, the unsearchable riches of Christ.

The Way Jesus Spoke

One of the main facets of the unsearchable riches of Christ is the way that He spoke. When the people that were sent to arrest Jesus returned without Him, the rulers and the Pharisees asked, “Why did you not bring Him?” They said, “Never a man spoke like this Man.” (John 7:45, 46.)

Friends, if we would learn to speak in our homes as did Jesus, the Christian religion would have an irresistible power, a charm over our children. They would go out from home, telling whomever they meet that the Christian religion is true. They would know it is true, because they have seen the image of Christ demonstrated by their father or their mother. The way we speak at home can mean the salvation of our children. It could be one of the most powerful Christian influences on our children, if we learn to speak to each other in our homes like Christ spoke. You know the children are listening to the way that we as parents speak to each other.

“If you had good home religion, you would be a bright and shining light, and represent Christ to a lost world.” Review and Herald, April 21, 1891.

“In the parable of the virgins, five were found wise, and five foolish. Can it be possible that half of us will be found without the oil of grace in our lamps?” Ibid. The apostle Paul said that our speech is always to be with grace. (Colossians 4:6.) “Shall we come to the marriage feast too late? We have slept too long; shall we sleep on, and be lost at last? Are there those here who have been sinning and repenting, sinning and repenting, and will they continue to do so till Christ shall come?” Ibid.

Mothers’ Words

Ellen White had some special words of counsel to speak to mothers concerning their words. These are some of the most beautiful statements in all of the Spirit of Prophecy, in my opinion, in relation to speech.

She says, “It is the heart that needs culture; for it is with the heart-life that women have to do. . . . The precious, finer feelings are to be carefully nourished that they may bloom into actions of goodness, truth, and holiness. . . . The words that are spoken by a mother should be choice words.” The Signs of the Times, March 23, 1891. God will give you the power to do it. He will give you the grace to do it.

“The mother should keep herself under perfect control, doing nothing that will arouse in the child a spirit of defiance. She is to give no loud-voiced commands. She will gain much by keeping the voice low and gentle. . . . If she is a wise Christian, she will not attempt to force the child to submit. She prays earnestly, and as she prays, she is conscious of a renewal of spiritual power. She sees that the same power that is working in her is working also in the child. He becomes more gentle, more submissive. The battle is won.” Ibid., April 1, 1903.

Our Child’s Faults

We are not to mention our children’s faults in the presence of others. “Remember that your child has rights which should be respected. Be very careful never to bring against him an unjust charge. Never punish him [now read this carefully] without giving him an opportunity to explain. Listen patiently to his troubles and perplexities. Never tell others in his hearing of his faults, or his clever sayings or doings. Even in the presence of his brothers and sisters these things should not be spoken of.” Ibid., April 23, 1902.

She goes on to say, “By speaking of his bright words and acts, you encourage self-confidence. By speaking of his faults, you humiliate him without softening him. Hatred springs up in his heart against your course, which he regards as cruel and unjust.” Ibid.

Heaven Talk

Friends, the things we have been studying are the way in which people talk in heaven. They do not speak any unpleasant words there. There are no loud, angry-voiced commands there, no angry, passionate words. They do not utter any unpleasant words there. In fact, a statement from Upward Look, 163, says, “No unpleasant words are spoken in heaven. There no unkind thoughts are cherished. There envy, evil surmising, hatred, and strife find no place.” We are to learn here how to speak, so we will be able to go to heaven. We are to learn it here, and the place we learn it, friends, is in our homes.

Confession

When I was a boy, I thought that everybody in the Adventist Church understood this, but I have had cause to wonder. The apostle James says, “He that does not offend in word is a perfect man.” James 3:2.

I do not know about you, but I have had to go to many people a number of times in my life and confess that what I had said was either not so or not right. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9.

Friends, the Lord wants to cleanse us from our improper speech. He wants to cleanse us from all the things that we have said in the past to our wives or our husbands or our children that have been wrong. But He cannot do it if we do not confess. This is so simple and basic; I was a minister for a number of years before I realized that there were many Christians who did not understand this.

Confession of sin is not just kneeling down by your bed at night and saying, “Lord, I confess my sins.” That is not proper confession; it is not wrong, but Ellen White states, in the chapter “Confession,” in Steps to Christ, that true confession is specific. Friends, if the Holy Spirit is speaking to your heart right now and telling you that you have something to confess to someone about words you have spoken, I want to appeal to you to not forget it. Write it down right now. Do not let the day go by—maybe you need to write a letter or make a long-distance telephone call.

If we want to reform our speech, one of the first steps is to confess what we have spoken that has injured or damaged someone else or is untrue or is unkind. That is a first step in procuring the kind of speech we desire in our homes.

Maybe you need to confess something to your children. Your child will never turn away from the Christian religion because you decided to confess your sins, because you decided to say to him or her, “I am sorry I said or did this to you and I want you to forgive me.” Your child will not turn away from the Christian religion when you do that.

Unless we confess our sins, the Holy Spirit cannot come into our lives and give us the power that we need to change. “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes [them] will have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13. That is talking about eternal prosperity, not just temporal prosperity.

Friends, I stand myself in very great need of mercy, do you? I know that if I am going to receive the mercy of God in my life, I must confess, and then I must forsake. Do you want that experience? Decide right now you are not going to let the day go by before making whatever confession to whomever you need to make it. It may take you more than one day.

When I first became convicted on this subject, it was as a result of a sermon I listened to by a retired Adventist minister who said that when he became a Christian, he had to write 726 letters of confession. I hope that you do not have to write that many, but I would write however many letters I need to write or call however many people I need to call, to have a clear conscience.

[Bible texts quoted are literal translation.]

Pastor Grosboll is Director of Steps to Life and pastors the Prairie Meadows Church in Wichita, Kansas. He may be contacted by e-mail at: historic@stepstolife.org or by telephone at: 316-788-5559.

Bible Study Guides – Returning Our Children to God

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February 5, 2006 – February 11, 2006

Key Text

“Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord. And he worshipped the Lord there.” 1 Samuel 1:28.

Study Help: The Ministry of Healing, 395–403.

Introduction

“Above any other agency, service for Christ’s sake in the little things of everyday experience has power to mold the character and to direct the life into lines of unselfish ministry. To awaken this spirit, to encourage and rightly to direct it, is the parents’ and the teacher’s work. No more important work could be committed to them. The spirit of ministry is the spirit of heaven, and with every effort to develop and encourage it angels will co-operate.” The Ministry of Healing, 401.

1 In the beginning, how did God provide companionship for man? Genesis 2:18, 21–24.

note: “God Himself gave Adam a companion. He provided ‘an help meet for him’ [Genesis 2:18]—a helper corresponding to him—one who was fitted to be his companion, and who could be one with him in love and sympathy. Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self; showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.” The Adventist Home, 25.

2 What are our children said to be? Psalm 127:3, first half; Genesis 33:5. What picture of a happy home does the psalmist draw? Psalm 128:3, 6.

note: “Children derive life and being from their parents, and yet it is through the creative power of God that your children have life, for God is the Life-giver. Let it be remembered that children are not to be treated as though they were our own personal property. Children are the heritage of the Lord, and the plan of redemption includes their salvation as well as ours. They have been entrusted to parents in order that they might be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, that they might be qualified to do their work in time and eternity.” The Adventist Home, 280.

3 How should parents bring up their children? Ephesians 6:4. What instruction did God give anciently to His people concerning religious training of their children? Deuteronomy 6:6, 7. What results are promised to follow proper early training? Proverbs 22:6.

note: “The children in every family are to be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Evil propensities are to be controlled, evil tempers subdued; and the children are to be instructed that they are the Lord’s property, bought with His own precious blood, and that they cannot live a life of pleasure and vanity, have their own will and carry out their own ideas, and yet be numbered among the children of God. The children are to be instructed with kindness and patience. . . . Let the parents teach them of the love of God in such a way that it will be a pleasant theme in the family circle, and let the church take upon them the responsibility of feeding the lambs as well as the sheep of the flock.” Child Guidance, 42.

4 What example of careful instruction is mentioned in Paul’s epistle to Timothy? 11 Timothy 3:15.

note: “From a child, Timothy knew the Scriptures, and his knowledge was a safeguard to him against the evil influences surrounding him and the temptation to choose pleasure and selfish gratification before duty. Such a safeguard all our children need, and it should be a part of the work of parents and of Christ’s ambassadors to see that the children are properly instructed in the word of God.” Testimonies, vol. 4, 398.

“Those who study the Bible with a sincere desire to know and do the will of God will become wise unto salvation. The Sabbath school is an important branch of the missionary work, not only because it gives to young and old a knowledge of God’s word, but because it awakens in them a love for its sacred truths and a desire to study it for themselves; above all, it teaches them to regulate their lives by its holy teachings.” Ibid., vol. 5, 389.

5 What did God claim from every family in Israel? Numbers 3:13. How did Hannah carry out this instruction with Samuel, her firstborn son? 1 Samuel 1:24–28.

note: “The dedication of the first-born had its origin in the earliest times. God had promised to give the First-born of heaven to save the sinner. This gift was to be acknowledged in every household by the consecration of the first-born son. He was to be devoted to the priesthood, as a representative of Christ among men.” The Desire of Ages, 51.

“Under the Jewish system the people were taught to cherish a spirit of liberality both in sustaining the cause of God and in supplying the wants of the needy. For special occasions there were freewill offerings. At the harvest and the vintage, the first fruits of the field—corn, wine, and oil—were consecrated as an offering to the Lord. The gleanings and the corners of the field were reserved for the poor. The first fruits of the wool when the sheep were shorn, of the grain when the wheat was threshed, were set apart for God. So also were the first-born of all animals, and a redemption price was paid for the first-born son. The first fruits were to be presented before the Lord at the sanctuary and were then devoted to the use of the priests.

“By this system of benevolence the Lord sought to teach Israel that in everything He must be first. Thus they were reminded that God was the proprietor of their fields, their flocks, and their herds; that it was He who sent them the sunshine and the rain that developed and ripened the harvest. Everything that they possessed was His; they were but the stewards of His goods.” The Acts of the Apostles, 337.

6 What is said to be an essential part of a youth’s training? Lamentations 3:27; Psalm 94:12. What are the youth admonished to do? Ecclesiastes 12:1.

note: “Teach your children that youth is the best time to seek the Lord. Then the burdens of life are not heavy upon them, and their young minds are not harassed with care, and while so free they should devote the best of their strength to God.” Testimonies, vol. 1, 397.

“Jesus desires the service of those who have the dew of youth upon them. He wants them to be heirs of immortality. They may grow up into noble manhood and womanhood, notwithstanding the moral pollution that abounds, that corrupts so many of the youth at an early age. They may be free in Christ; the children of light, not of darkness.

“God calls upon every young man and young woman to renounce every evil habit, to be diligent in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. They need not remain in indolence, making no effort to overcome wrong habits or to improve the conduct. The sincerity of their prayers will be proved by the vigor of the effort they make to obey God’s commands. At every step they may renounce evil habits and associations, believing that the Lord, by the power of His Spirit, will give them strength to overcome.” Messages to Young People, 369.

7 What results followed the twelve years of godly training given Moses by his mother? Exodus 2:5–10; Hebrews 11:23–26.

note: “The principles of truth, received in his [Moses] youth from God-fearing parents, were never forgotten by him. And when he most needed to be shielded from the corrupting influences attending a life at court, then the lessons in his youth bore fruit. The fear of God was before him. And so strong was his love for his brethren, and so great was his respect for the Hebrew faith, that he would not conceal his parentage for the honor of being an heir of the royal family.” Spiritual Gifts, vol. 3, 184, 185.

8 In the time of the judges, what example do we have of children whose home training was neglected? 1 Samuel 2:12–17, 34; 3:11–14.

note: “There is no greater curse upon households than to allow the youth to have their own way. When parents regard every wish of their children and indulge them in what they know is not for their good, the children soon lose all respect for their parents, all regard for the authority of God or man, and are led captive at the will of Satan. The influence of an ill-regulated family is widespread and disastrous to all society. It accumulates in a tide of evil that affects families, communities, and governments.” Patriarchs and Prophets, 579.

“When parents sanction and thus perpetuate the wrongs in their children as did Eli, God will surely bring them to the place where they will see that they have not only ruined their own influence, but also the influence of the youth whom they should have restrained. . . . They will have bitter lessons to learn.

“Oh, that the Eli’s of today, who are everywhere to be found pleading excuses for the waywardness of their children, would promptly assert their own God-given authority to restrain and correct them. Let parents and guardians, who overlook and excuse sin in those under their care, remember that they thus become accessory to these wrongs.” Child Guidance, 275, 276.

9 What early New Testament examples show the value of Christian training upon children? Luke 1:57–60, 80; 2:11, 40, 49–52.

note: “John [the Baptist] was the son of their [his parents] old age, he was a child of miracle, and the parents might have reasoned that he had a special work to do for the Lord and the Lord would take care of him. But the parents did not thus reason; they moved to a retired place in the country, where their son would not be exposed to the temptations of city life, or induced to depart from the counsel and instruction which they as parents would give him. They acted their part in developing a character in the child that would in every way meet the purpose for which God had designed his life. . . . They sacredly fulfilled their obligation.” Child Guidance, 23.

“The physical constitution of Jesus, as well as His spiritual development, is brought before us in these words, ‘the child grew,’ and ‘increased in stature.’ [Luke 2:40, 52.] In childhood and youth attention should be given to physical development. Parents should so train their children in good habits of eating and drinking, dressing, and exercise, that a good foundation will be laid for sound health in afterlife. The physical organism should have special care, that the powers of the body may not be dwarfed, but developed to their full extent. This places the children and youth in a favorable position, so that, with proper religious training, they may, like Christ, wax strong in spirit.” Ibid., 187.

10 That our children may be fully prepared for the Lord’s service, what should we daily be doing? Isaiah 28:9, 10.

note: “Parents should educate their children line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little, not allowing any disregard of God’s holy law. They should rely upon divine power, asking the Lord to help them to keep their children true to Him who gave His only-begotten Son to bring the disloyal and disobedient back to their allegiance. God longs to pour upon men and women the rich current of His love. He longs to see them delighting to do His will, using every jot of their entrusted powers in His service, teaching all who come within the sphere of their influence that the way to be treated as righteous for Christ’s sake is to obey the law.” Child Guidance, 81.

11 What should every parent be able to say in the last great day? Hebrews 2:13, last half.

note: “In your work for your children take hold of the mighty power of God. Commit your children to the Lord in prayer. Work earnestly and untiringly for them. God will hear your prayers and will draw them to Himself. Then, at the last great day, you can bring them to God, saying, ‘Here am I, and the children whom Thou hast given me.’ [Hebrews 2:13.]” The Adventist Home, 536.

12 What promise is given of a precious experience drawing parents and children together in the last days? How should parents relate themselves through their children to the giving of the closing message? Malachi 4:5, 6.

note: “Every son and daughter of God is called to be a missionary; we are called to the service of God and our fellow men; and to fit us for this service should be the object of our education.

“This object should ever be kept in view by Christian parents and teachers. We know not in what line our children may serve. They may spend their lives within the circle of the home; they may engage in life’s common vocations, or go as teachers of the gospel to heathen lands; but all are alike called to be missionaries for God, ministers of mercy to the world.” The Ministry of Healing, 395.